Inconveniently Yours

The game ended, but the tension did not.

It was late now, the energy in the room shifting as the drinks settled and the laughter died down. Crope and Tibbett were still whispering to each other, barely containing their giggles, while Fiyero stretched lazily, tossing an arm over the couch as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Boq looked like he was begging for an escape.

Elphaba, meanwhile, was already stacking empty glasses, moving like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Well, that was fun," Fiyero said, voice far too smug. "I feel like we all learned so much about each other."

Elphaba shot him a glare. "Yes. Riveting. Now, if you all don’t mind, I’d like my dorm back."

Crope gasped. "Elphaba, are you kicking us out? After all we’ve been through?"

"Yes. Immediately."

Tibbett pouted. "Tragic."

Glinda, who had been too quiet since the last round, finally stirred from where she sat. "You all go ahead. I’ll help clean up."

Elphaba froze.

Crope and Tibbett definitely exchanged a look, but they didn’t comment.

"Alright, but if you two kill each other, we will demand details," Tibbett teased as they all started filtering out.

Fiyero leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Glinda’s temple as he murmured, "Try not to miss me too much, darling." Then, with an exaggerated wink and a lazy stretch, he strolled toward the door, tossing a backward glance over his shoulder before disappearing into the night.

She swatted him away. "Go."

And then, they were alone.

For a moment, neither of them moved. The air was thick, charged in a way that felt almost unbearable. The soft clink of glasses was the only sound as Elphaba carried them to the sink. 

Glinda stepped in front of the sink, sliding past Elphaba. “Let me. You dry.”

Glinda, because she was still tipsy and still feeling reckless, handed Elphaba a dish towel and some dish gloves, turned the faucet on and began washing the glasses. “You don’t have to act like I don’t exist, you know."

Elphaba let out a slow breath. "I’m not."

"You are."

Elphaba’s jaw tightened, but she said nothing.

Glinda watched her for a beat before speaking again. "So."

Elphaba didn’t look up. "So?"

Glinda tilted her head. "What was it?"

Elphaba finally glanced at her. "What was what?"

"The thing you wanted that you couldn’t have."

Elphaba stilled.

Glinda smirked, enjoying this far too much. "Oh, come on. You drank, didn’t you? That means there’s something."

Elphaba turned back to drying. "So did you."

Glinda’s smirk faltered. "That’s not an answer."

Elphaba sighed, setting down the glass she had been holding. "Neither is that."

For a moment, just a moment, Glinda considered pushing. Saying something too bold, something she couldn’t take back. But then Elphaba removed her dish gloves and then stepped away, putting deliberate distance between them.

"You should get some sleep," Elphaba muttered, voice quieter now.

Glinda swallowed. "Right."

She didn’t know why she suddenly felt cold.

Elphaba turned, heading toward her room, but she paused in the doorway. Without looking back, she murmured, "Goodnight, Glinda."

Glinda exhaled, gripping the dish towel too tightly.

"Goodnight, Elphie."

The door shut behind her.

-

Brunch had seemed like a harmless idea. A simple, easy morning to recover from the chaotic night before. But Elphaba should have known better—because nothing involving this group of people was ever simple.

She spotted them the moment she stepped into the restaurant—already one mimosa deep and far too lively for a Saturday morning.

Fiyero was slouched back in his chair, sunglasses shielding what had to be a devastating hangover, nursing his drink like it was a lifeline. Crope and Tibbett were in their usual spot—conspiratorial, thriving off whatever chaos they’d created the night before. Boq, as always, was attempting to be responsible, his brows furrowed as he actually tried to read the menu, determined to block out whatever nonsense was brewing around him.

And then there was Glinda.

Perfectly put together, radiant, and sipping her mimosa like she owned the world.

Elphaba barely had time to sit before Crope was shoving a glass into her hand.

"Drink, darling. You look like you need it."

Elphaba raised a brow. "You say that every time you see me."

"And I’m always right!"

Glinda, entirely too relaxed, propped her chin in her palm, her blue eyes flickering with something unreadable. "You were awfully quick to disappear last night."

Elphaba blinked, caught off guard. "I—what?"

Glinda hummed, swirling her drink. "You ran off to your room so abruptly. Almost like you were… avoiding me."

Elphaba’s grip on her glass tightened slightly. "I was going to bed."

"Mmm," Glinda smirked, tilting her head. "If you say so."

Fiyero, who had clearly been waiting for this exact moment, grinned lazily. "Elphaba, you should know something very important."

Elphaba sighed. "Dare I ask?"

Tibbett leaned in, clinking his glass dramatically. "Our dear Glinda is a very flirty drunk. What you saw last night, was just a warm up."

"That is not true!" Glinda gasped, laughing far too easily.

"Glinda, love, last time we went to brunch you sat on a stranger’s lap because you ‘liked his energy,’" Crope pointed out.

Glinda waved a hand dismissively. "I was being friendly."

Elphaba exhaled slowly and took a sip of her drink. This was going to be a long morning.

—

At first, Glinda was just being playful.

The occasional lingering glance, the casual way she leaned just slightly into Elphaba’s space—nothing explicit, nothing obvious.

But then, the second mimosa hit.

And suddenly, Glinda’s hand brushed Elphaba’s arm just a little too often.

Her laugh was softer, sweeter.

And her words? Increasingly bold.

"So, Elphie," she cooed, too sweet, too knowing. "What did you want that you couldn’t have?"

Elphaba choked on her mimosa.

Boq groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "Oh no. We’re doing this now?"

"Oh yes," Tibbett grinned. "We absolutely are."

Elphaba, practically vibrating with irritation, refused to look at Glinda as she muttered, "Drink your mimosa."

Glinda just smirked. "Make me."

Crope gasped. Fiyero nearly spit out his drink.

And Elphaba seriously regretted showing up to brunch.

Glinda, clearly enjoying the effect she was having, leaned in even closer, her breath warm against Elphaba’s ear. "Come on, Elphie, you’re always so composed. Don’t tell me you’re nervous?"

Elphaba refused to give her the satisfaction of a reaction. "I just prefer my mornings without… unnecessary theatrics."

"Unnecessary?" Glinda placed a delicate hand over her heart, feigning offense. "And here I thought we were bonding."

"Oh, is that what you call it?" Elphaba deadpanned, finally looking at her.

Glinda’s smirk widened. "What would you call it?"

Crope, gleefully watching this unfold, kicked Tibbett under the table. "I’m not saying this is the best brunch we’ve ever had, but—"

"—this is the best brunch we’ve ever had," Tibbett finished, grinning.

Meanwhile, Fiyero, still lounging with his drink, was watching with far too much amusement. "I hate to break up whatever this is, but we should probably order actual food before Glinda drinks her way into another lap-sitting situation."

Glinda rolled her eyes, but she didn’t stop looking at Elphaba.

"Fine," she sighed, dramatically flipping open the menu before turning back to Elphaba. "I trust you to order something good for me, Elphie."

Elphaba stared at her, unblinking. "You trust me?"

Glinda smiled sweetly. "Implicitly."

Boq groaned. "Oh my Oz, just kiss already."

Elphaba nearly knocked over her drink. Glinda just giggled into her mimosa.

And Crope? Crope was living.

-

As brunch stretched on, Glinda did not slow down. If anything, she leaned into her tipsiness with reckless abandon, her laughter coming easier, her touches lingering longer. She had started the brunch playful, but now she was outright draping herself over Elphaba whenever the opportunity arose.

Before Fiyero could fully surrender to his misery, Glinda turned to him with an exaggerated pout, reaching out to gently smooth a stray curl from his forehead. "Oh, my poor darling," she cooed, tilting her head with a teasing smile. "You’re so dramatic when you’re unwell."

Fiyero chuckled weakly, squeezing her wrist in mock gratitude. "It’s part of my charm."

"Mmm, and somehow, I still adore you for it," she murmured, pressing a quick, affectionate kiss to his lips. "Now go home and rest before you actually collapse."

Fiyero smirked, despite himself, before muttering, "Glinda, you’re gonna have to find a new babysitter."

She barely spared him a glance before turning back to Elphaba with a wicked grin. “My dear roommate,”

Elphaba, who immediately tensed. "Absolutely not."

Glinda gasped again, more offended this time. "Elphie!"

Elphaba groaned. “Stop calling me that.”

Crope, thrilled, clasped his hands together. "Oh, this is delicious."

Fiyero, already standing, clapped Elphaba on the back. "She’s all yours, Fae. Good luck."

And just like that, she was stuck with her.

-

Elphaba had dealt with many frustrating situations in her life, but none quite compared to escorting an increasingly drunk Glinda back to their dorm while also tipsy herself.

Glinda, not helping in the slightest, was currently clinging to Elphaba’s arm, giggling every time they stumbled over a crack in the pavement. "You’re—hic—you’re actually very warm, Elphie. I always thought you’d be cold, like a lizard."

Elphaba exhaled through her nose, struggling to walk in a straight line. "Great. That’s exactly what I was going for."

Glinda gasped dramatically, stopping in her tracks. "Wait, wait, are you saying you actually try to be all broody and mysterious?"

Elphaba dragged a hand down her face. "Glinda, we’re in the middle of the street. Keep moving."

"No, no, no, I need to process this!" Glinda planted herself in place, squinting up at Elphaba like she had just uncovered a conspiracy. "Do you practice looking annoyed in the mirror? Do you time your sighs for maximum dramatic effect?"

Elphaba pinched the bridge of her nose. "I swear to Oz—"

Glinda giggled and pulled her forward. "Oh, come on, I’m just teasing!"

They somehow managed to make it halfway across campus, though Elphaba had lost track of how many times Glinda had nearly walked into a pole.

"You’re really bad at this," Glinda mused as Elphaba grabbed her elbow, yanking her out of the way of an oncoming cyclist.

"At what?"

"At being all grumpy and untouchable." Glinda leaned heavily against her, voice softening. "You pretend you hate people, but you’re always helping them."

Elphaba stiffened. "That’s because people are incompetent."

"Mmm." Glinda didn’t sound convinced. "So that’s why you’re helping me? Because I’m incompetent?"

Elphaba, with absolutely no hesitation, said, "Yes."

Glinda gasped, clutching her chest in mock offense. "Elphie! Rude!"

Elphaba rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched—just barely.

They made it to the dorm building, but by the time they reached their door, Glinda was fully draped over Elphaba’s side. Getting the key into the lock was suddenly an impossible task.

"Glinda, stand up."

"I am standing."

"You’re leaning on me like a human scarf."

"A very fashionable human scarf."

Elphaba finally got the door open, guiding Glinda inside before she could collapse in the hallway. The moment the door shut, Glinda spun, gripping Elphaba’s wrists.

"Wait!"

Elphaba tensed. "What."

Glinda pouted. "You’re gonna leave me, aren’t you?"

Elphaba blinked. "Glinda, we live together. Where would I be going?"

Glinda studied her for a long moment. Then, suddenly, she grinned. "Do you wanna build a pillow fort?"

Elphaba groaned. This was going to be a long night.

"No, Glinda. Go to bed."

"But Elphie, it’s barely bed time. You’re fun when you’re tipsy! I like this Elphie! She doesn’t frown as much!" Glinda tugged at Elphaba’s sleeve, entirely too pleased with herself. "We should do this more often."

Elphaba crossed her arms. "I am never drinking with you again."

Glinda poked her in the chest. "That’s what you said last time. And yet—here we are!"

Elphaba sighed, watching Glinda sway slightly on her feet before plopping dramatically onto the couch.

"This couch is awful," Glinda declared, flopping onto her back. "I deserve better."

"Then go to your bed," Elphaba said dryly.

Glinda ignored her. "Elphie, do you think I’d look good in green?"

Elphaba, momentarily stunned into silence, blinked. "What?"

Glinda hummed, staring at the ceiling. "I think I’d pull it off. You know, like in a really chic way. Maybe with sequins."

Elphaba ran a tired hand over her face. "Glinda, for the love of—"

"Wait!" Glinda shot up so quickly she almost toppled off the couch. "Elphie, Elphie, I have an important question!"

Elphaba stared at her. "Oh, I cannot wait to hear this."

Glinda grinned, eyes sparkling. "If I was a worm—would you still be my friend?"

Elphaba stared.

Then, without a word, she turned on her heel and walked straight to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Glinda cackled, delighted. "THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER, ELPHIE!"

-

After staring up at the ceiling for a while, Elphaba sat up on the edge of her bed, rubbing her temples. She was still tipsy, but the weight of responsibility was dragging her back to sobriety faster than she’d like. Glinda, on the other hand, was still fully in her drunken haze, and Elphaba knew without a doubt that if she let her go to bed like this, she'd be absolutely miserable in the morning.

With a deep sigh, Elphaba pushed herself up and walked back into the living room, where Glinda was now curled up on the couch, blinking sleepily at the ceiling.

"Alright, come on, you’re going to bed," Elphaba muttered, nudging Glinda’s shoulder.

Glinda just grinned sleepily. "Awww, Elphie, you do care."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Stop calling me that. I care about not listening to you whine all day tomorrow about your hangover."

She hooked an arm under Glinda’s and hauled her to her feet. Glinda, who was entirely too relaxed, immediately flopped forward, her arms wrapping around Elphaba’s waist as she sighed dramatically.

"Elphie, you smell nice. Like… books and something else."

Elphaba scowled but didn’t push her away. "Walk."

They stumbled their way into Glinda’s room, where Elphaba forcefully deposited her onto the bed. Glinda sprawled out, arms spread wide, laughing like this was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"You are so bossy," she teased, stretching like a cat.

Elphaba huffed. "Sit up. We need to take your makeup off."

Glinda gasped, offended. "I am far too tired for that."

"I don’t care. You’ll hate yourself in the morning if you don’t."

Glinda groaned loudly, but she sat up, swaying slightly. Elphaba grabbed a makeup wipe from Glinda’s vanity, grumbling the entire time.

"I cannot believe I’m doing this," Elphaba muttered as she started wiping away layers of mascara and glitter.

Glinda sighed dramatically. "You’re such a good friend, Elphie."

"I hate this."

"No, you don’t."

Elphaba glared. Glinda giggled.

When she was satisfied that Glinda’s face was no longer caked in makeup, she grabbed one of the ridiculous lavender-scented moisturizers Glinda always slathered on before bed.

Glinda blinked at her. "You know which one I use?"

Elphaba froze.

"Shut up," she muttered quickly, dotting moisturizer onto Glinda’s face far more gently than necessary.

Glinda beamed. "Elphie, you do love me."

Elphaba scowled. "I tolerate you."

When she was finally finished, she dragged the blankets over Glinda, pulling them up to her shoulders. Glinda blinked sleepily up at her.

"You’re staying, right?"

Elphaba hesitated. Too long.

Then, quickly, she stood. "Absolutely not. Goodnight, Glinda."

She turned and walked out before Glinda could say another word.

She was already going to regret this in the morning.

-

Elphaba woke up to the sound of soft murmuring coming from the common area. The scent of coffee lingered in the air, warm and familiar. For a brief moment, she forgot about the previous night—until she remembered exactly how much effort she had put into making sure Glinda didn’t wake up a disaster.

Groaning, she rolled out of bed and padded toward the kitchen, where she found Glinda sitting at the counter, wrapped in a blanket, hair in a messy bun, clutching a steaming cup of coffee like it was her lifeline.

Glinda looked up at her, eyes still heavy with sleep, and offered a small, sheepish smile. "I… may have overdone it last night."

Elphaba snorted, leaning against the counter. "That’s an understatement."

Glinda groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I know, I know. I was a lot. I don’t even want to know what I said to you."

Elphaba smirked. "Oh, don’t worry. I took notes. Would you like me to recite the part where you dramatically declared you’d look incredible in green?"

Glinda peeked through her fingers, mortified. "Oz help me."

Elphaba took a sip of coffee, amused. "You’re lucky I have a terrible memory when it comes to nonsense."

Glinda huffed. "Rude."

Before Elphaba could make another remark, her own phone vibrated on the table. She sighed when she saw the name.

Frexspar.

She answered with a resigned, "Hello, Father."

"Elphaba," Frex’s voice came through, stiff and formal as always. "I assume you’ve been keeping up with your coursework."

"Of course."

"Good. Your sister has been asking about you. You haven’t checked in with her."

Elphaba stiffened. "I’ve been busy."

Frex made a sound of disapproval. "Nessa relies on you. She’s adjusting, but she still needs you to—"

"I’ll call her later," Elphaba cut in, her jaw tightening.

Frex sighed. "See that you do."

The call ended just like that. No ‘How are you?’ No ‘I love you.’ Just expectations.

Glinda was watching her now, expression softer than usual. "Elphie…"

Elphaba shook it off. "It’s fine. He’s always like that."

Glinda didn’t push, but the look in her eyes said she wanted to.

"Anyway," Elphaba changed the subject, leaning over Glinda’s shoulder to glance at the notes scattered on the table. "If we’re pretending to be productive today, we might as well study."

Glinda perked up. "Oh! Yes, I actually wanted to go over the readings for—" She paused, suddenly far too aware of how close Elphaba was. "—uh, the ethics assignment."

Elphaba smirked at her flustered reaction but said nothing.

They spent the morning half-studying, half-teasing each other, the tension from the night before lingering but softernow. Every so often, Glinda would catch Elphaba looking at her, and Elphaba would quickly look away.

It was an easy morning. The kind that neither of them realized they needed.

And for once, Elphaba wasn’t in a hurry to escape it.