November 1st, 1991
November 1st, 1991
Dear Diary,
I’m still at Hogwarts. And my plan to get expelled has not been going great. In fact, it hasn’t really been going at all.
My housemates haven’t given me a minute of peace since Professor Snape had told them that their grades were dependent on mine. I hate it. And I hate them.
God, I want to get out of here. But I don’t know how. And I don’t even have the time between classes and all these forced study groups to figure out how. But Mom always said that if you pray about something that God will make a way.
And she was freaking right!
To my surprise, God did answer! And dropped the perfect opportunity right in my lap!
A troll attacked the school! (And this time it was an actual Mountain Troll, not a bad grade.) No one was hurt, thank God! But it was a really close call from what I heard for three Gryffindor first-years which included Harry (the other kid that I wrote about getting picked on by Drake), Ron (who was the younger brother of the Weasley twins), and a loud-mouth bushy-haired girl always answering questions in classes named, Herminey.
From what I heard Herminey had been in the toilet when the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Quiral (Check spelling.) burst into the Great Hall during the yearly Halloween Feast shouting about a troll and then fainting right in the middle of the tables. It had caused a panic. Kids were screaming. The teachers were yelling over each other. Eventually, the Headmaster had ordered all the students back to their houses while the faculty dealt with the troll. But since Herminey had been in the bathroom, she didn’t hear about the troll or that the Halloween Feast was canceled. But two of her housemates, Harry and Ron, decided to ignore the teachers and go find her and warn her. (Which I thought was pretty brave and selfless. It’s not something I think my own housemates would’ve done for me if I had been in Herminey’s shoes. But Gryffindors had a reputation for being brave and selfless, Slytherin not so much.) And it turned out to be a good move on their part because the troll did find Herminey in the bathroom and if it wasn’t for Harry and Ron, it might’ve actually killed her!
From what I heard listening to the Gryffindors gossip, the first floor toilets had been completely demolished by the troll welding a giant club and were out of order until further notice. And trolls were dangerous not only because of their hulking size, but also that they were naturally shielded against most forms of magic. (I wish that were the case for me. Would make my life way easier.) And one of the boys, I think it was Harry, had physically wrestled with the troll and shoved his wand up its nose (gross) before the other managed to knock it unconscious with the levitation charm Professor Flitwick had been teaching us that week. They all got detention for it though, which I don’t think was fair, but Harry and Ron did disobey the teachers so…I guess that makes sense. I don’t know.
I think they should’ve been rewarded for that because they did save Herminey’s life. But my housemate think it’s a fair punishment and Drake says, “It’s about time, Saint Potter, doesn’t get away with breaking the rules!” Which coming from him is so hypocritical, I didn’t even comment. I think he’s still mad about those Broom Flying Lessons where Harry and Drake both flew on their brooms without Madame Houch’s supervision, but Snape gave Drake detention and McGonngol put Harry on the Gryffindor Quiddutch team which I guess wasn’t allowed for first-years.
But still, this was an opportunity of a century! Dangerous magical creature, check. Threatening the safety or life of a student, check. No one being seriously injured or killed, check. And the best part—No one knowing how the troll got into the school or where the troll came from, check!
I know I might be the only person happy about the troll attack, but this is the perfect excuse I was looking for to get expelled. And I didn’t have to lift a single finger! Or do any spells! (Which I still haven’t managed in the two months I’ve been here. Even with the extra lessons from my housemates.)
I just need to take credit for this before anyone else does. Like the Weasley twins…I feel like they would jump at the chance to claim this incident as one of their elaborate genius pranks and that cannot happen.
I had been reading up on trolls all morning to come up with a believable story. I didn’t have a reputation for being good at magic. I wasn’t Herminey who was able to answer every question correctly in class. Or Theodore Knot who was often able to perform a spell correctly on his first attempt. I was known to be stupid. A poor student, with no talent for magic. So any story involving magic or using it to lure in a troll to the school wouldn’t work and no one would believe it.
But I found out from the half-giant groundskeeper, Hagrid, that a family of trolls (which was called a Gravel because of the numerous rocks they often threw) was living somewhere in the Dark Forest surrounding the school. And I asked him if he had any theories on why a troll would sneak into a school and he told me that “Trolls ‘eren’t good at sneaking. Dey’re big ‘ole lumbering oafs. But dey are ‘fraid of thunderstorms and dey got real bad eyesight. Dey usually find deir way ‘ith deir noses.”
And after reading about trolls all morning, I found that they love pumpkins and that pumpkins and similar gourds were often found near the caves where trolls lived. It wasn’t a stretch to say that the smell of pumpkins could lure a confused troll to the school. And since it was Halloween, pumpkins were everywhere, the school cooks even made goods like pumpkin pie and soup and juice. And I did check and there was a storm on Halloween night.
So it also wasn't a stretch to say that I had been carving pumpkins because that’s something muggles do for Halloween and I had left the pumpkins guts outside and must’ve left the door open when it was time for the feast so the troll lumbered right on in. It’s perfectly logical and innocent. And I doubt I’d get sent to Azkaban (which was the name of the wizard prison) because it was an honest mistake and I was eleven.
I decided to put my plan into motion with Millie during lunch, briefly mentioning my pumpkin carving and wanting to show her the result but someone must’ve smashed it because I’ll I found when I went to check where I left them there were a lot of pumpkin bits on the steps and no pumpkins. I wondered if someone had smashed them for fun or if it was a way to mess with me. Millie didn’t know and seemed bored of the topic until I mentioned that I read that trolls liked pumpkins. “You don’t think—“ I paused forcing myself to sound scared (which wasn’t difficult to do with our nervous I was lying)— “You don’t think I could’ve been responsible for the troll, do you?”
Millie looked at me strangely. “Because you were carving pumpkins?”
I nodded, “And I left them outside. And I think I secured the door behind me, but I don’t remember if I shut it all the way…What if I let the troll in unintentionally?”
“That’s ridiculous,” she frowned. “What are the chances of that happening?”
“But is there any other explanation?” I wondered. “No one has told us anything about it. What if that’s what happened?!”
“I don’t think that’s what happened,” Mille told me. “Why would a troll wander close enough to the school to smell pumpkins in the first place? They don’t like being near people, ya’know?”
“But Hagrid told me that trolls are near blind,” I began, “and that they're afraid of thunderstorms and wasn’t there a storm yesterday? It could’ve been confused—“
“What could‘ve been confused?” Drake inserted himself in our conversation, leaning over the table.
Millie snorted as she answered. “The troll. Finch thinks she let it in.”
“What?!” Drake exclaimed, causing several heads to turn in our direction.
“I didn’t say that,” I whispered. “I was just speckleating.”
“You mean speculating,” Theodore had corrected my pronunciation without looking up from his book on 1001 Magical Plants and their Uses. “And how could you have let a troll in? You can’t even do magic properly.”
“I was carving pumpkins outside,” I said.
Drake bursted out laughing. “That dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! Merlin, you’re such an idiot, Finch!”
“But trolls like pumpkins and I can’t remember if I closed the door behind me,” I raised my voice loud enough for the curious onlookers to hear. There was an audible gasp from the Gryffindor table as some of the first-years caught wind of what I said.
I had to keep myself from smiling through Drake’s rant about how dumb the whole theory was and how dumb I was for thinking it. But I knew that by the end of the day a rumor would be started that I had done it and hopefully, God willing I’d be blamed and on my way out in the next few days!
I can’t wait! Please, God, let this work!