Parallels

Things weren’t exactly going the way Regulus had expected. For one, he was still here. He’d already wasted an entire day doing absolutely nothing, and he woke up in a bed surrounded by red for the second time in two days.

He’d woken up at a disconcertingly early hour after sleeping for half of the previous day and had way too much time to do nothing but sit in silence and think. After a few minutes of that, Regulus could feel the pounding in his head become more intense and decided he needed to get out of that room before he went insane.

Five minutes later, Regulus stepped out onto the Quidditch pitch and remembered how cold it was when a gust of December air hit him in the face. He was still wearing his robes from the day before, not having worked up the courage to go through the other Regulus’ dresser for something warmer, so he hid in the stands and cast a warming charm on himself.

It was oddly nice. Out here in the dark of the morning, Regulus could almost pretend he was back in his own world. He stayed out there until the stars faded from the sky and the sun began to rise. It wasn’t until daylight filled the field that Regulus accepted that he had to get back, pulled himself to his feet, and made his way back inside.

The minute Regulus stepped back inside his dorm, a body slammed into him. It took him a moment of standing there frozen in shock to realize Sirius had his arms around him.

“Thank Godric,” Sirius muttered. “You weren’t here when we woke up and I thought…”

Regulus shoved him away. “I’m fine.” He looked around the room and sighed when he saw both Remus and James staring at him. “Where’s-“

Right on cue, Peter walked out of the bathroom with dripping wet hair, and Regulus let out an involuntary sigh of relief that surprised himself. He hadn’t realized it, but since the last day, Peter had become someone he trusted- despite how reluctantly- in this universe. Unlike everyone else currently in the room. Sure, he had developed an almost shaky truce with Remus after Ancient Runes, but now he knew that Peter would most likely side with him- and Remus would side with Sirius.

“Oh, you’re back,” Peter walked up next to him when he noticed him. “Where did you go?”

“Quidditch pitch,” Regulus said quietly so that the other three couldn’t hear. “I needed some time alone.”

Peter nodded. “Thought it might be something like that.”

 “Should we talk about what happened yesterday?” Sirius asked, wringing his arms together.

Regulus wanted to do anything but that. “Don’t you have classes to get to?”

“Maybe you should go to the hospital wing,” Sirius suggested. “You passed out, Reggie.”

“Regulus. And I’m fine now.” Regulus gestured to himself with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius’ eyes flashed, and Peter quickly cut in. “Well, bathroom’s free. I, um, laid some cleaner robes out for you?”

Peter stared at him for a second, looking unsure. It took Regulus a moment to realize that he was worried he was overstepping. Suddenly finding his throat feel much tighter than it did a moment ago, Regulus just nodded and wordlessly disappeared into the bathroom.

The rest of the day was much like the one before. Regulus trudged through his morning classes, Charms and History of Magic, and thankfully didn’t draw any attention to himself. Still, a simmering pit of nerves formed in his stomach as the day progressed. His headache- if he could even call whatever that had been a headache- didn’t seem to be as bad as the day before, but the hammering feeling was still there.

The classes themselves weren’t too bad. He was proficient enough in Charms (top of his class, but he wasn’t one to brag, obviously) to get by without paying much attention, and it wasn’t like he needed to do anything in History of Magic anyway.

But it was everything else that made it difficult. Wearing the wrong uniform, sitting with the wrong people, having to navigate through everything not knowing what everyone expected of him- and all with a blank face like nothing was out of the ordinary. And worst of all, it was just more time to do nothing but think. His mind ran over everything that had happened in the last day in repeat. Despite everything, it was one moment from that morning that he kept coming back to- when Sirius had hugged him and looked relieved to see him.

By lunch, Regulus had enough of it.

“Me and Peter are going to the library,” Regulus announced as soon as he joined the others in the Great Hall- meaning Peter, Remus, and Sirius. James was conveniently missing.

Peter choked on a sip of water he had just taken. “What?”

“The library,” Regulus said, exasperated. “We need to figure this out, and going to classes like I’m actually a part of this world isn’t getting me anywhere.”

“We can’t just skip,” Peter argued.

“Why not?” Regulus asked. “Don’t you lot skip all the time? Besides, it’s not like anyone is going to assume what we’re actually doing- whatever they think, it’ll be far from the truth.”

“We’ll get detention.”

“You got sick,” Regulus said. “I was watching over you. We’ll figure out the details if any of the professors care enough to ask.”

Peter sighed, stabbing at his plate. “Fine. I don’t want to deal with Alchemy right now, anyway.”

“Wait, hold on,” Sirius said. “You can’t just-“

Regulus raised an eyebrow and shut him up with a scathing look. “And why not?”

“What he means is,” Remus interrupted, “We’re coming, too.”

Sirius opened his mouth but Regulus saw Remus nudge him under the table.

“No you’re not,” Regulus said.

“Regulus-“ Sirius began.

“I wasn’t suggesting,” Regulus hissed. “Just me and Peter, for now. I don’t care what you do later, but right now just the two of us are skipping.”

Peter grabbed his arm. “Calm down, Lily’s staring.”

Regulus glanced further down the table and met Evans’ eyes. She was staring at him was a calculating look. Regulus hated how she seemed as though she could see through him. When she realized he was looking back, her gaze softened, and she raised her eyebrows. Regulus though she was asking him something, and remembered how he must have appeared last time she saw him the day before.

He looked away quickly, which unfortunately meant he turning back to his Sirius and Remus.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t just tell someone? If not Dumbledore, then McGonagall and Madam Pomphrey. They would help.” Remus reasoned.

“No,” Regulus said sharply.

Peter tried to reason, “Regulus, he’s not wrong-“

“I said no,” Regulus said. “If you tell anyone, I will leave and make sure none of you will be able to find me.”

“Fine,” Sirius said. “Okay, Reggie-“

“Regulus,” Regulus corrected curtly.

“Regulus,” Sirius said loudly. A few heads turned, and he quieted down. “You and Peter can skip class, and me and Moony will leave, and no one will tell anyone about this, okay?” Sirius pushed away from the table and stood up, grabbing Remus’ arm in the process. “Come on, I lost my appetite.”

Regulus felt the pit in his stomach grow as he watched the two of them leave.

“Me too,” he muttered and pulled Peter away from the table in a similar fashion.

In the library, things were calm. It was mostly empty spare a few older students with free periods, so there was nothing to bother Regulus. Except for the constant thrumming in his head, and the ever-present anxiety surrounding him like a haze, and the tapping of Peter’s shoe against his chair-

“Will you stop that?” Regulus burst out, slamming his book shut. It wasn’t anything helpful, anyway, just something on magical travel. Regulus might have to set the book on fire if he read the word Apparate one more time.

“Sorry,” Peter muttered.

He couldn’t help but think about how this would be so much easier with his real friends. Everything was easier with them. Regulus ached to be near them again.

Regulus sat up suddenly, a though occurring to him. “What do you know about the Slytherins in my year?”

Peter looked up at him. “Not a lot. Crouch and Rosier, right? I mean, our lives don’t exactly overlap here. But I used to run into them at the pureblood ‘parties’ Mum would drag me to as a kid.”

Regulus grimaced. He remembered all the times his mother talked about how disgraceful it was that the respectable families were mingling with blood traitors, like the Pettigrews. Obviously, he’d never been allowed to attend. It was mainly due to his family’s influence that they died out over the past few years, traded out for more formal gatherings among purebloods that shared certain views.

“I do remember that they were always together,” Peter mused. “Still are, really.”

“That’s nothing new,” Regulus said with a sigh. “It’s to know that at least those two are still together, I suppose.”

“You’re referring to the Malfoy girl? And Dorcas?” Peter asked. Regulus nodded. “Can’t say I know much about her- Pandora, I mean. She mostly keeps to herself. A bit odd, from what I’ve seen, but nice.”

Regulus bristled. “Dora’s not odd, she’s brilliant. Most people just write her off without giving her a chance.”

Peter raised his hands in a placating gesture. “If you say so. I don’t think I’ve spoken to her more than a few words in passing. Dorcas, on the other hand-”

Regulus scowled. “What’s up with that? In my universe, she despises the whole lot of you.”

“Well here, her and Marls got really close back in…” Peter paused for a moment. “Third year, I think. I mean, the girls in her dorm were awful to her those first few years because-“

“They’re blood purists, I know,” Regulus muttered.

“Huh. I guess you do.” Peter shook his head. “She’s pretty much unofficially moved into the girls’ dorms. I’m pretty sure McGonagall knows and willingly turns a blind eye.”

“And her and McKinnon are dating?” Regulus asked. The though was still hard for him to wrap his head around. He wondered what Dorcas would say if she knew.

Peter smiled fondly. “That’s a pretty recent development, actually. It took a while for them to admit their feelings to each other, but everyone could tell they’ve been in love for years.”

Regulus put his head in his hands. The thrumming in his skull got louder, pushing itself to the forefront of his attention.

“Alright?” Peter asked hesitantly.

“Fine,” Regulus muttered as he rubbed his fingers in circles over his temples.

A moment of silence, then Peter said, “Do you want to talk about it? What happened last night, I mean.”

“I’m fine,” Regulus said. “I can deal with a headache.”

“No, er, I meant,” Regulus looked up again to see Peter twisting his fingers nervously. “Before, in Potions. We were interrupted by the bell, so if you- not that you have to, of course, but if you wanted to, you know, talk about it. You can? I’m here to listen, I mean.”

Regulus grimaced. The offer hung in the air, thick and heavy, until Regulus pushed to his feet, harshly flicking his wand at the book sitting on the table in front of him. “We’re not making any progress.”

The book levitated to its original spot on a nearby shelf, and Regulus spun around and walked away from the table. He heard Peter fumble to his feet behind him.

“Right, well,” Peter caught up to him. “I’m not sure we’ll find anything in here. If none of us have ever heard anything about multiple universes, maybe it’s not just something you can fine in a textbook?”

“Maybe they’re not real,” Regulus muttered, eyes the titles near him as he walked through the shelves. “All of you have just gone mental.”

“Hate to say it, but you’re the crazy one in this scenario,” Peter countered.

Regulus sighed again and kept searching.

“Do you think any of the professors know anything about it?” Peter eyed him cautiously.

Regulus tensed. “We’re not going to the professors.”

Something in the way he said it must not have left room for argument, because Peter didn’t press the matter.

Feeling Peter’s eyes on him, Regulus grabbed a random book from the shelves and stormed back to his table. He slammed the book down a little louder than appropriate for a library and flipped it open to the first page.

Peter followed him. “Regulus.”

Regulus ignored him and began flipping through the pages.

“Look, I know you’re running out of ideas but I don’t really see how a second-year potions textbook is going to help you.”

Regulus slammed the book shut and flicked his wand at it to send it back to its shelf.

“Regulus, calm down,” Peter said, . “Your hands are shaking.”

“How am I supposed to calm down?” Regulus clenched his hands into fists and pressed them into his thighs. “I have no idea what to do or what is happening to me, because I passed out last night and that hasn’t happened since-“

Regulus cut himself off at the look Peter was giving him.

“Since… you stopped taking the potions?” Peter asked tentatively.

Regulus pressed his lips together. Silence surrounded them for a moment, heavier than it was a moment ago. Peter stared at him, seeming to be considering something. He stood gently and gestured toward the exit. "Come on."

"What?" Regulus frowned. "We can't stop now."

"You're not helping yourself like this," Peter reasoned. "Come on."

He grabbed both their bags and walked out of the library, not looking back to see if Regulus was following.

Regulus looked around at his empty table before sighing and getting up to follow.

"The Quidditch field? Really?" Regulus asked.

"I figured you needed to take your mind off things," Peter said. "Seeker's game?"

"I don't have time for this," Regulus muttered. He turned to leave back to the building.

Peter grabbed his arm from the back and he tensed.

"Sorry," Peter yelped, retreating. "But come on, you can spare a couple minutes."

Regulus stared at the spot where the other boy's hand had been. "Fine. One game."

Peter cheered. He dropped their bags and ran off the field, returning a minute later with two brooms- the school's supplied ones- and a snitch in his hands.

He released the snitch and handed the one of the brooms to Regulus. Regulus mounted his own broom and kicked off into the air, hovering a couple feet above the ground with ease. He had to admit, it did make him feel better to do something that felt familiar for a change.

Peter was still on the ground, staring at his broom like it was telling him something.

"You do know you can't catch the snitch on your feet, right?" Regulus said.

Peter shot him a look and awkwardly placed his legs around his broom. "Right, it's just been a while since I've gotten on a broom."

Regulus eyes the way the boy sloppily kicked off the ground and rose up far faster than normal. "You look like you haven't done this since our first-year classes."

"I think I practiced with James in second year once or twice, too," Peter mumbled.

Regulus stared at him, openmouthed. He didn't know how to feel about the fact that this boy he barely knew was ready to fly on a broom for the first time in five years for his sake. "This won't be much of a challenge, then," Regulus said, tilting his broom further up and shooting himself into the air.

He hovered above the field like he would during a regular Quidditch match and looked down at Peter, who was struggling to steer his broom, in amusement. He turned away and did a quick lap around the pitch, sure that he wasn't in any danger of losing the match. For a moment, all he felt was the wind tousling his hair and the freeing feeling of having absolutely nothing on his mind.

He allowed the quiet of his surroundings overtake him. Unfortunately, this was interrupted by Peter, who had finally figured out how to lift his broom to Regulus' level. Right into Regulus, who had to swerve abruptly to the side to avoid a painful collision.

"Sorry!" Peter screamed, looking far more disheveled that he should after flying for less than five minutes.

 Regulus rolled his eyes, fighting to keep the smile off his face. Peter seemed to notice and shot him a grin that quickly morphed into a panicked yelp as his grip on his broom slipped and his broom dipped a couple feet.

Regulus won, obviously, and was adamantly challenged to a rematch, which he won, too, repeatedly. Regulus didn’t realize how long they were out there for until the noticed the sun beginning to set, splashing the sky in shades of orange and red.

The two touched down and started to head back inside. Regulus felt the anxiety that had escaped him for a few hours starting to simmer in his stomach again.

When they got back to the dorm, Regulus saw Sirius and James sitting together in what he assumed was Sirius’ bed- the one along the same wall as his own- speaking in and urgent tone. They cut off abruptly and stared at him. Well, Sirius stared at him with an intense expression while James fixed his eyes on a spot somewhere over Regulus’ shoulder.

Regulus gritted his teeth and stalked toward his own bed. He was about to pull the covers shut and not resurface until dinner, but Peter cut through the silence.

“We’re not going to be like this forever, are we?” He asked.

“Pete,” Sirius cut in quietly.

“No, listen to me,” Peter interrupted with a glare. “I know things are complicated, but this is still Regulus. Even if he’s from a different world, or whatever the fuck is wrong with him, that’s still your little brother, Sirius. He might not be our Reggie, but he needs our help, and we’re not making any progress like this.”

Regulus bit his tongue to hold himself back from speaking out. The open admission that he needed help from his former brother, of all people, made him want to bash his head against a wall.

Peter turned to Regulus and his glare softened slightly. “And you. Look, from what I’ve heard, you have a right to be mad, but they’re not us. The people you have a grudge against, we didn’t do any of the things they did. We’re just trying to help you get home, and you need to accept that. Now I’m going to take a shower, and you lot better be talking things out or this is going to be really embarrassing for me.”

Regulus eyed Peter’s retreating figure with a sting of betrayal. After he disappeared into the bathroom, Regulus kept his eyes on the shut door, reluctant to turn to the other two boys in the room.

“Look, Reggie-“

“Don’t,” Regulus snapped.

“Regulus,” Sirius amended. “Can you look at me, please?”

Regulus closed his eyes with a sigh. He heard the hint of pleading in Sirius’ voice that made his guts twist. In that moment, he found himself thinking of his friends and what they would want him to do in that moment. He came short of an answer- this was far different than anything they had gone through in the past. But Regulus knew, no matter what, they would want him to be okay. Especially with everything all of them had been through last year, he knew he could fuck things up in every way possible and all that would matter to them was that he was still standing at the end of it. These people had seen him at his absolute worst and still stuck with him through all of it.

Then something occurred to Regulus. If something like this- or even half as bad as thing- had occurred last year, Regulus would not have reacted the same. Even a couple months ago, he would have resorted to the unhealthy coping mechanisms he’d developed and had barely managed to survive. What Evan had said about him making progress finally made sense to him. A year ago, he would not have run out of that potions room. He would not have put a distance between himself and his former addictions. He would not have considered talking about it to a boy who he hardly knew yet grudgingly trusted.

He would not have made peace with the two Gryffindors that were currently staring at him expectantly, even when he did admittedly need their help.

It was that thought that made Regulus open his eyes and finally look at Sirius.