“What are you doing?” Remus asked when he looked up from his book, only to find his boyfriend rubbing a bar of soap on the doorpost of their dormitory.
“I’m testing out a prank,” Sirius replied, turning to Remus with a grin on his face and a glint in his eyes.
Remus cocked an eyebrow, instantly suspicious. “And this involves a bar of soap, how?”
“Have some faith, Moony.” Sirius winked. “You’ll see in a minute.”
He finished the last part of the doorway just before James appeared on the stairs. He’d obviously just gotten back from Quidditch practice. His black hair was matted and slick with sweat and water, droplets still dripping down his face. His Quidditch robes were drenched from the rain that had been plaguing them all week and his cheeks were rosy from the cold air.
“Eugh, what is that smell?” James exclaimed, face twisting as he came to a halt on the landing before their door.
Remus snickered. “I think you smell yourself, Prongs.”
“Oi!” James shot him a glare. “But no, it's not me. It’s something else. Like there’s something rotting.” He grimaced, taking a few steps backwards.
Sirius cocked his head, smiling innocently. “Why don’t you come in, Prongsy?”
James narrowed his eyes. “What did you do, Black?”
“Me? I did nothing!” Sirius held up his hands in surrender, still holding the bar of soap. “I simply bought a new bar of soap, don’t you like it?”
“It smells atrocious,” James stated, covering his nose.
“Oooh, big word Prongs,” Remus commented, biting back a laugh.
“Oh, shut it,” James grumbled. “I’m going to shower in the prefect’s bathroom. That stuff is horrible, I don’t know why you bought it Pads.”
Sirius pouted. “Lily told me she liked the way I smell.”
James flicked him the bird from where he was already walking back to the common room.
Sirius let out a laugh.
“You’re so mean to him,” Remus pointed out making Sirius grin widely before he fell down on the bed beside him.
*
“You’re an asshole, Black,” James glared as he stared at his friend on the other side of the doorway, freshly showered but still pissed.
Sirius grinned broadly. “Waddaya mean Prongsy? I cleaned the doorway. It was in dire need of a cleaning.”
“You know what you did!” James crossed his arms, breathing through his mouth to avoid the stench coming from the doorway. “Moony!”
“Nope, no, I’m staying out of it!” Remus yelled back, not looking up from the book he was reading.
“Why don’t you just come in?” Sirius asked, leaning against one of the posts of his bed.
“I can’t! The stench is too bad, I physically cannot come any closer!”
“I don’t smell anything,” Sirius rubbed his chin. “Do you smell anything, Moony?”
“Nope, staying out of it, Black,” came Remus’ reply as he turned a page.
“Oh, gross, Padfoot did you leave your smelly socks out again?” Peter’s voice spoke up as he opened the door to their shared bathroom.
“When the hell did you get here?” Sirius asked, surprised at the other boy’s arrival.
Peter frowned. “I was taking a bath but I fell asleep,” he admitted, cheeks tinting red.
Remus chuckled. “I told you staying up all night was a bad idea. You can’t handle being awake that long, Wormy.”
“Yes, thank you for that assessment, Remus.” Peter rolled his eyes. “Padfoot, please throw out those socks, they smell horrid.”
Sirius’ grin spread while James let out a low groan.
“Oh, don’t you worry, Wormy. The smell will wear off in time,” he said.
Peter grunted. “Well, at least move them away from the door then. I’m meeting Glen Roach at the Greenhouses for our upcoming Halloween party and the idea of passing that stench is making my eyes hurt.”
“Sorry, Wormy, you’ll have to pass it to get out.”
Peter shook his head, an expression on his face that was vaguely concerning. “Nope, no, I’m going to throw up.”
To back up his statement, he ran back into the bathroom. The door fell shut behind him with a bang and the sounds of him throwing up were clearly audible.
James grimaced, looking sickly pale. “I feel that,” he grunted out. “I’m going to the common room.”
*
“Prongs?” Remus asked as he entered the common room, having just returned from his study session with Lily, to find James settled on one of the couches with a thick blanket thrown over his lap.
“Moony,” James greeted.
“What are you doing?” Remus stopped in front of the couch, glancing from the pillow that had clearly come from James’ bed to the stack of homework.
“What’s it look like? I’m camping out here until that horrid stench disappears.” James looked extremely comfortable on the couch and Remus raised an eyebrow.
“All right?” He regarded James for a second before shrugging. “I’ll see you in the morning then?”
“Bright and early,” James grinned. “Maybe Evans will take pity on me and invite me up to her dorm.”
Ah. There it was, Remus thought. He chuckled. “Keep dreaming, Prongs.”
“Always, Moons, always,” James called after him as Remus climbed the stairs to the dormitory.
Inside he found his boyfriend spread out on his bed, a muggle paperback in his hands. The bathroom door was closed.
“Where’s Pete?”
“Locked himself in the bathroom,” Sirius replied, a glint in his eye and a smirk on his lips as he closed the book and tossed it aside. Remus would reprimand him on that later. “We’ve got the room to ourselves.”
Remus started to smirk as well and closed the door behind him, throwing a locking spell on it to be safe. “Well, let’s make the most of it then, eh?” he said, climbing on the bed and catching Sirius’ mouth with his own.
“I can still hear you!” came a shout from the bathroom, which went unheard by the two boys.