Summer of 2005
SIRIUS BLACK: He was wearing a yellow button-up shirt, it was long. I still remember how he looked at me like I was a ghost. I didn’t have time to say anything because Marlene blocked my way.
“Sirius! You came. And… you too!”
MARLENE MCKINNON: [chuckle] I didn’t know his name. Oh god, sorry [wipes tears]
JAMES POTTER: If it was anyone else, I would think she was rude.
“James.”
“James!” she clapped, “Ok! So,” she started walking, and I followed, “This is Peter,”
“Hey there,” he smiled. I smiled too.
PETER PETTIGREW: I wanted to tell him how much I hated his song, but I didn’t want him to think I was… rude.
“Peter, this is Sirius, and James. This is Remus.”
“You’re here,” he said.
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean- do you want me to leave?”
He sucked his lips in a grin and looked at his cup.
SIRIUS BLACK: I thought he didn’t like me.
REMUS LUPIN: I regret saying that [chuckle]
“And…” Marlene looked around, “Where’s Bertha?”
REMUS LUPIN: Bertha was my girlfriend at the time. We lasted one month. She was… my first girlfriend. I don’t think she actually liked me.
“Who’s Bertha?” James asked.
“My girlfriend.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway. I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad you invited me.”
“So, James, what do you do?” she asked him with a polite smile.
“I sing.”
“Oh, with Sirius? I didn’t notice it was two.”
“No, no. It’s just a hobby,” he tapped my shoulder, “Music is his job, not mine,” he stopped to analyze Remus' face, “Hold on… Are you in Juno?”
Remus smiled, and I looked at James. He was always telling me to watch Juno, but I never did.
“That’s me!”
“Oh my God, I love that movie!”
“Wait…” I interrupted the talk, “Juno as… the movie?”
“That’s what I just said.”
“I know, he’s a movie star,” Marlene held Remus’ shoulders, and he rolled his eyes.
“I’m not a movie star. I just got lucky.”
“Man, you’re brilliant.”
“Thank you, man.”
REMUS LUPIN: The conversation died after that. What was I supposed to say?
JAMES POTTER: I was with a movie star, in front of me. But, my friend was a music star so… nothing new.
MARLENE MCKINNON: We all danced a lot that night, except for Sirius and Remus.
SIRIUS BLACK: He was good to talk to.
“So, what is a celebrity doing in a party full of potential crazy fans?”
“I should ask the same to you.”
“Nah, they’re all from my school. They know me.”
“Well, I’m not that famous.”
Remus looked at me with skeptical eyes. I laughed. Even if I was still sure he didn’t like me, he was acting just fine. He knew me, but he didn’t care if I was a singer with one of the most popular songs in the country. That’s what I liked about him from the start.
“Why isn’t your girlfriend with you?”
“She’s probably with her friends. You know, we don’t have to be together for twenty-four hours.”
“You’re Marlene’s best friend?”
“I am.”
“She seems pretty cool. I like her… extroverted way.”
“James also seems cool. How did you guys meet?”
“Long story,” I said, watching James talking with some girl, “But we met at a store at night.”
“I also met Peter at a grocery shop. Well, kinda. He saw me and recognized me from a Disney play I did.”
“So you’re like an actor for real?”
Remus titled his head back, chuckling. I didn’t understand what was so funny.
“Whatever you call people who act in shows and movies, I guess.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I was just like, "oh you also play in theaters!”
“I do, that’s mostly what I do, but I might start working more on cinema, you know? I really like the experiences.”
“Was Juno your first movie?”
“No. I played in shows and other movies, but, you know, none of them were that famous.”
“You must be full of people wanting you in movies.”
“Kind of. My agent has more knowledge than I have.”
“Oh, you have an agent?” I widened my eyes, and he raised an eyebrow.
“Why so shocked?”
“Nothing!”
“My mother was a friend of hers, so you know, she’s been with me since 14.”
I looked at him, noticing how he was talking about his mom in the past. I didn’t dare ask why.
SIRIUS BLACK: I knew it was something too personal to ask.
REMUS LUPIN: I mean, what could I say? My mom was dead.
Sirius looked at me with the kind of eyes I found later to be delight. I didn’t know what exactly that meant, because back then, for me he was just a random person who I was talking to… little did I know.
“Is there anything to drink?”
“I mean- You could find someone with alcohol, but we didn’t buy anything.”
“I don’t wanna drink tonight, I mean like juice, or water.”
“The house is not mine, but the kitchen is right there,” I pointed to my left.
“Thank you, Remus,” he got up, and left.
I watched him walk away, and then got up as well, walking towards Marlene.
“He’s cool,” I said.
“He is, isn’t he? Talented and cool.”
“Someone has a crush,” I joked.
“Ew.”
I frowned, “What? You’re telling me you don’t think he’s pretty?”
“I mean- not my type.”
MARLENE MCKINNON: He didn’t catch the signs.
REMUS LUPIN: After that night, Marlene and Sirius actually grew together, which was a surprise.
SIRIUS BLACK: The next time I saw Remus, it was at his school. I was out of school since what happened with my parents, so it was weird to wait outside like I was some old dude when I was their age.
MARLENE MCKINNON: You could say me and Sirius were friends already.
“Hey,” Remus smiled.
“Hi, how’s school?”
“Good.”
“Call me later, Rem!”
“He could come with us.”
MARLENE MCKINNON: [smile]
SIRIUS BLACK: [shrugs]
REMUS LUPIN: [shakes his head]
“I mean- Bertha is waiting for me.”
“Oh, okay. Well, see you later.”
“See you.”
SIRIUS BLACK: Our relationship was cold. It took around two months for us to actually start hanging out.
REMUS LUPIN: I wasn’t expecting to be Sirius’ friend. He had his life, I had mine. I was working in The Silence of Lambs, and he was making shows, and doing interviews… so, I didn’t expect to grow closer to him, you know.
SIRIUS BLACK: It happened when he came to my show. It was in a whole other city, but he was there. He didn’t come with me like James did, he paid to be there, alone, watching me sing. And, I saw him, I don’t know how, actually. There were a lot of people, but my eyes fell on him.
REMUS LUPIN: I had to see him on stage.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me. I was sitting outside, smoking a cigarette.
“Watching a show, what about you?”
“Singing on the show.”
“Oh really? didn’t notice it was you.”
He rolled his eyes and sat next to me, “I doubt there’s a guy as hot as me.”
I chuckled, “Be careful not to pop your ego.”
“Just being realistic. But now for real, why are you here?”
“Wanted to see you sing.”
REMUS LUPIN: Why? I don’t know.
“And what do you think?”
I looked at him, throwing the cigarette to the floor and stepping on it.
“You really want a compliment, don’t you?”
“They’re appreciated.”
“You’re good.”
“You came to Fresno, a 5 hour trip by bus, to see me.”
I got speechless, so the only thing I did was sigh.
“I mean, you’re Marlene’s friend. She likes you, so I had to see what the hype is about.”
“Do you get it now?”
“I’ve seen better.”
“Liar,” he smiled, not seeming to be offended, “Admit you wanna be my friend. C’mon, it's a privilege. Have you seen how many girls were inside? To come here I had to put this hoodie on!”
“Stop bragging about your fame, idiot.”
“I’m just saying… I want to be your friend.”
I looked at him, my smile fading away and my blinking getting faster.
“Why?”
“You’re nice. Marlene talks a lot about you, I guess I have to see what the hype is about.”
SIRIUS BLACK: [smile]
“Where’s James?” he asked.
“Fucking a girl.”
“Excuse me?” he choked on his saliva.
“Some girl was flirting with him before the show, and when I went to the backstage they were kissing, like… eating each other’s faces.”
“Well, good for him. You should be doing the same.”
“What? Fucking someone? Nah. I’m not like that.”
“You don’t fuck?”
“Not with people I don’t know.”
“Oh, got it. You’re the romantic type of guy”
“It’s not that! But, how can you even be with someone who you have no bond with?!”
“Some people just like to have fun,” Remus shrugged.
“I guess.”
“How did you find me?” he asked.
“I saw you there.”
“Impossible. There were so many people!”
“And still I caught you looking at me.”
REMUS LUPIN: I remember getting nervous at that moment. [laugh]
INTERVIEWER (2): Do you think there was a sparkle between you two even then?
REMUS LUPIN: Since the first moment. There were no feelings, but there was tension, yes.
“How so?”
“Maybe your ugly shirt.”
I laughed, “Fuck off, look at your outfit, you look like a 14 year old boy.”
“I’m wearing a hoodie, Remus! Everyone wears hoodies!”
“How did you even know I was sitting here?!”
“I’m a mastermind, I have powers.”
“Sirius.”
“I was looking for you.”
“Really?”
“I needed to know what brought you here,” his body was totally in my direction, and our knees were touching.
“It’s dark.”
“You’re recognizable.”
SIRIUS BLACK: We walked together that night, and I got Albus calling me, asking where the hell I was at. I had to come back, and Remus was with me. After that talk, we just became friends.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I was so excited to have them as friends. It was like… everything I would’ve wanted.
REMUS LUPIN: Being friends with Sirius was fun. He would sing to me, and he would come with me to my work, and wait outside while I recorded the scenes. I was working in Dorian Gray, and he was fucking obsessed with it. He even made me play a scene for him.
“Please!” he begged.
“It’s ridiculous, Sirius.”
“Please, the pub scene!”
I rolled my eyes, trying to get in character. I had a specific voice for Dorian, which was more slow and deep than my actual voice.
“Isn’t there a price to pay for that sort of business?” I asked him, “But what I was asking was about the effect on that,” Sirius was smiling, “Okay. That’s enough.”
“This is my favorite movie you’ve ever played on.”
“It’s not like you were there on the other ones.”
“Still.”
“Have you been writing songs?”
“No, actually, but I need to. I might be writing an album.”
“That’s so cool! You didn’t tell me that.
“I am still wondering if I am capable.”
“Sirius. Of course you are! Have you seen the lyrics you write?”
He shrugged, “I mean, most of them are about girls that don’t even exist.”
“They’re not about your love life?”
“I’ve never even kissed anyone,” he laughed.
SIRIUS BLACK: I just had to do what I did to have recognition. I wouldn’t blow up singing music about my brother.
REGULUS BLACK: I’m actually glad he didn’t write any more songs about me.
REMUS LUPIN: I was shocked. I mean– he fucking wrote so many love songs, and they were all… fictional.
“You’re kidding,” I said. I couldn’t believe Sirius has never been in love, because, how could he write songs like this if he never felt anything like that?
“I swear. They’re all songs about couples I invented in my mind and scenarios I kinda wished happened to me? Like picking up my girlfriend for prom night, or watching the stars with her.”
“That’s depressing,” I stated, and he nodded.
“People don’t know that.”
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE: He had to go on tour. He couldn’t just keep singing in cities in California. He had to go forward, spread himself through the world. So, I asked him to write an album.
SIRIUS BLACK: My debut album was named American Teen, and it was quite easy to write. Remus was there helping, and so was Marlene. At that time, they were closer to me than anyone else was.
INTERVIEWER (1): And where were you?
JAMES POTTER: With Peter. They were taking guitar classes, and we were always playing, and I was singing.
PETER PETTIGREW: I wasn’t mad that Remus was closer to someone else now, I had James, and we were having the best time of our lives.
SIRIUS BLACK: Me and James talked a lot during the night, though.
“What are you doing?” he asked me.
“Writing a song.”
“What is it about?”
“Me being almost 18.”
“Can I hear it?”
I sang it to him. It wasn’t finish. I wasn’t sure if it was good, because it was quite different from what I used to write. It even contradicts my previous songs with the “I never fell in love” line, but I didn’t really care.
“It’s catchy. I can imagine myself playing that on a car trip.”
“That’s the feeling I was looking for.”
“By the way, talking about cars,” he sat on the bed, “I am getting my license,” he shook his fingers with a smile.
“Really?!”
“Yeah! I’ll finally ride my own car.”
“Hell yes, you’re gonna take me to places. My new personal taxi.”
“You’ll have to pay.”
“Does fame work?”
SIRIUS BLACK: I was obsessed with being famous.
“Maybe.”
“Guess I can give it a try,” I jumped on the bed, next to him, “How was your day?”
“Good. I’m helping Peter with his guitar lessons, he’s pretty good.”
“At least he has you to help him. Coaches don’t always help, you have to work yourself.”
“Yeah, he’s actually a good learner.”
“I’m scared to go on tour.”
“Why?”
“What if the shows won’t be as big as they are here?”
“How do you expect to grow singing only in California?”
“I don’t even know if this album will be good.”
“You have to trust yourself,” he laid down, looking at me with his hands on his chest.
SIRIUS BLACK: I wasn’t as insecure anymore, but… it was still a lot for a 17 year old boy.
“I don’t know when I’m going on tour. It could be next year, in three years… when am I even supposed to release the song? And how long do I have to wait before the tour? Jesus.”
“Albus will make that clear, you know that.”
JAMES POTTER: I didn’t know how to help him. I mean, he was worried, and I understood him, it was a valid feeling, and nothing would actually help him be less stressed.
SIRIUS BLACK: I spent the entire summer writing, and writing.
REMUS LUPIN: We went to this beach. Me, James, Peter, Marlene, and Sirius, and Sirius wrote a song. He didn’t need any help.
“Hey, not going to the water?” I asked, running my fingers through my wet hair.
“I’m writing.”
“You have to stop worrying so much about the album, and enjoy being with your friends.”
Sirius looked at me, sighed, and closed the book, putting it inside his bag.
“How’s the water?”
“Cold, but you get used to it,” I looked over the water, James and Marlene splashing water to each other while Peter floated.
“I’m just… I don’t know- this day is cool, we’re having fun, so I thought about writing a song.”
“How is the song like?”
“I don’t have a melody yet, but it’s like yeah, we’re just young, dumb and broke, but we still have love to give while we’re young, dumb, young, young, dumb, and broke.”
He didn’t actually sing it, he just quoted the lyrics like he was reading a book.
“We’re not actually broke,” he laughed.
“I know.”
“You,” I grabbed his hands, “Can keep writing later. Let’s go to the water”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but he actually got up. I let go of his hands to push his arm and start running.
“Wait for me!”
“Be faster!”
He ran after me, and we started doing a race. I won. When he got into the water, he just screamed at how cold it was, and I laughed, diving and swimming to his leg, pulling it.
“Stop!” he chuckled, falling with his hips on the water, “This shit is fucking freezing.”
“No it’s not!” Marlene said, “It’s good.”
“I’m shaking!”
“You’ll get used to it, c’mon, get your hair wet.”
“Fuck no.”
I swimmed towards him, pulling his head down for a couple seconds. When he came to the surface, he looked at me like he could kill me, so I started swimming away from him. He follow me.
“You’re such a prick,” he said.
“Just like you,” I said when he was close enough, and Sirius splashed water on my face, I laughed, and did the same.
SIRIUS BLACK: It was a great day.
REMUS LUPIN: I remember someone took a picture of us. That was the first time people started talking about me and Sirius.
“I think they’re taking pictures,” Peter warned.
“What?” Marlene took her hair out of her face and looked at the direction Peter was looking at, we all turned our heads to see.
There was a man whose face you couldn’t see because he was holding his camera right in front of it. He was moving around, catching angles.
“He’s here for you,” I said to Sirius.
“No, he’s here for you!” he hit back.
“Maybe he’s here for both of you,” James suggested.
“This is weird,” Sirius said.
“Didn’t you like being famous?”
“I look ridiculous right now!”
“Shut up,” I said.
REMUS LUPIN: Sirius couldn’t physically look ridiculous.
“That’s not even my best angle! And he’s taking pictures of you humiliating me by drowning.”
“I didn’t drown you.”
“You almost did.”
“Fuck you,” I splashed water on him, so he jumped in the water to get close to me, “Hey, back off!”
He held my waist, and pulled me down. I closed my eyes fast enough not t0 burn them and tried to grab his shoulders to free myself from his grip, but that didn’t work because we both came to the surface holding each other still.
“You’re so vengeful,” I said, pulling my hair back, and he let go of my waist to swim backwards.
“You didn’t think you could try to kill me, and I wouldn’t do the same, did you?”
I rolled my eyes, smiling.
Sirius could be such a kid sometimes, but, if I’m being honest, I loved that about him.
INTERVIEWER (1): When did you fall in love with Remus?
SIRIUS BLACK: I think the question is when I realized I was in love with him. It was in that same summer, to be honest. It didn’t take me long to fall for him, it was pretty quick, to be honest.
I was alone with him, which happened frequently, and he looked at me with his mesmerizing eyes.
“You’re such a star,” I stopped what I was doing to observe him.
“What?”
“Like, I know your name is a star, but you’re such a star. You know what I mean?” he sighed.
“I’m sorry, elaborate,” I laughed quietly.
“Like, all the stars are brighter, and bigger than the sun.”
“You’re telling me that the sun doesn’t shine like I do?” he didn’t reply, only nodded. That made me smile, my heart was starting to beat fast and I couldn’t stand looking at him. I stared at the ground, and I closed my eyes to suppress the grin that was dancing on my lips, “Well, thank you, Remus.”
At that moment, I wanted to kiss him. That scared me, because the next second I was standing up. I couldn’t like him like that, that’s not how things were supposed to work with me.
SIRIUS BLACK: I got scared thinking about kissing a friend of mine.
I always liked girls, and I wrote about them, as a whole. I wasn’t gay, not at all, at least that’s what I believed all my life. But, looking at Remus, having Remus with me, just… feels different. He feels like something above best friend, but even more than that.
“Uh– I need to go.”
“What?! Why? You just arrived.”
“Albus needs me.”
“It’s 9pm, Sirius. Weren’t you supposed to sleep over? I promise you my dad is cool.”
“No. Yes, I mean, I know he is, and you’re also cool! I mean- in a… you’re cool. You’re like… yeah, but I really need to go,” I was stuttering, looking at the walls, because I couldn’t make eye contact with Remus while having the urge to kiss him after what he said to me.
When I looked at him, he was clearly judging me.
REMUS LUPIN: He looked like a teenage girl.
I stared at Sirius, with his guitar in his hand and avoiding me.
“Well, I’m sorry if saying you are a star made you so… I don’t even know what you are right now.”
“It wasn’t that! It was… cool, what you said to me. I just can’t stay right now, I can sleep over any other time, Remus.”
“Oh… okay.”
Sirius smiled halfway at me, and left with his guitar and bag in one hand. I sighed, throwing myself at the bed. He was weird, and I couldn’t read him like I wish I could. Sometimes he would act like a normal friend, and the other second he could just start avoiding me. Even though he never acted like he did right now.
REMUS LUPIN: Things got normal the next week.
SIRIUS BLACK: I didn’t speak to him for one week. Mostly because I was busy, but I was also eating myself alive because I kept thinking how things would go if I kissed him the moment I felt like it. I started thinking that maybe I was really gay, because I never dated anyone, or even kissed a girl. However, I knew I was attracted to them, so my whole life was spinning in front of my eyes and I couldn’t understand anything.
I was locked in my room. It was a mess because I was moving out of James’ house. My birthday was in a few months, and I had enough money to live on my own. The bed was still a mess, because it was the only thing I used. I looked at the ceiling and all I could think about was Remus, Remus, Remus.
“Fuck it,” I whispered.
Was I gay? Was it normal to think about kissing your friend?
I couldn’t ask anyone, because in my head they would stop talking to me, and they would think I was gay — which I maybe was.
The next week, I wasn’t calm, but Marlene made everyone hang out, and I had to go too. I remember how Remus looked at me, like he wasn’t sure if we were still friends, so I got close to him, with my heart hitting my ribs, and smiled.
“Hey,” I said.
“Is everything okay?”
“Perfect. Just busy with moving out.”
I could swear he looked at my lips — but he didn’t.
“Okay.”
He looked at Marlene, and grabbed her hand, starting to walk in front of me. Shit.
We were walking in the park, eating some super unhealthy snacks, and all I thought about was if someone would notice what I wanted.
James seemed too busy making jokes, and Marlene laughing at them. Peter was on their phone, while Remus tried to talk to me.
“-And she looked at me and asked if I could sign her tits?”
“Excuse you?”
“Yeah! Like, I’m not a rock star!”
“Did you? Sign her tits?”
“Did you expect me to say no?”
“Well, that means you can always sign my tits,” I smile, hitting his arm with my elbow.
“You don’t have tits, idiot.”
“You can pretend I do.”
Remus rolled his eyes, “Sorry, I have no pen with me.”
“Such a shame,” I pouted.
“I know right,” he made a sad face, and my heart stopped.
He was pretty, and God, maybe I was gay.
“I wanna party,” I said.
“Party?” Peter looked at me.
“Yes.”
“In like, club?”
“We’re not 18,” Remus said.
I smirked, “They wouldn’t deny Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and their friends a go,” I shrugged.
“Are you kidding me?” he rolled his eyes, “They won’t let us in, Sirius.”
“We could try!”
“I mean, he’s kinda right,” James said.
“See!”
“I disagree,” Marlene stepped forward, “Just because you guys are famous, that doesn’t mean the security will let minors go inside a club full of alcohol and potential sex.”
I sighed. Yes, she had a point, but I was sure I was right, and she wasn’t.
“Well, we could always try, we have nothing to lose!”
“No,” Remus crossed his arms.
“What? Remus, please!” I held his elbows, “You can’t let me do this alone.”
“Sirius. That’s a crazy idea.”
“That’s why I had it, duh.”
He was taller than me. Not a lot, but enough to make me lift my head a few angles. His eyes were pulling me closer, and even if he wanted to seem intimidating, I could never be scared of him.
“Fine,” he finally gave up, and a smile grew on my face.
“Amazing! Marlene, final statement?”
She sighed, clearly upset, “Fine, alright. Let’s be dumb fucking teenagers!” she got her arms up, and I threw my arm over her shoulders.
“That’s the spirit, love. Peter?”
“It’s 4 against one.”
“Let’s go!”
MARLENE MCKINNON: They almost didn’t let us in.
REMUS LUPIN: We got so lucky Sirius had money with him.
PETER PETTIGREW: I swear I had no idea how they got us in.
JAMES POTTER: It was a fun night, for a while.
SIRIUS BLACK: I knew I was right.
When we got in, the first thing I did was pull James with me to the middle of the dance floor. Remus was talking with Peter, and Marlene went to buy some drinks.
I was dancing, or trying to. Everyone around us was from 18 to 40, or even more than that, and… well, it could be uncomfortable, but if you thought about drinking and dancing, old people wouldn’t be scary.
“Remus!” I called, because he was watching me with crossed arms, like a dad, “Come dance!”
“Fuck no.”
“Please, Remus!”
“Sirius.”
I walked towards him, “This is the first time you’re at a goddamn club. We’re doing something illegal! We just paid the security to let 5 minors inside a club. Have fucking fun.”
REMUS LUPIN: It took me a while to start actually having fun. Like what? Six shots?
JAMES POTTER: At some point, a girl that was what? 25? 27? started talking to Sirius. I looked over my drink, and when I turned to watch again… they were gone.
SIRIUS BLACK: I am not proud of my first kiss, and first time. She was talking to me, and at first she acted like she had no idea who I was, and I was glad. I didn’t want anyone recognizing me there, especially because I wasn’t supposed to be in that place. However, as we got to talk more, and more, I realized that she did in fact know me.
“You look young,” she said, touching my arm, and I smiled.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Don’t you think it’s too noisy here?” the lights were making her face change colors, and I couldn’t understand if she was young or not, because it looked different in every color.
“That’s how a club is supposed to be,” I laughed.
“I mean, yeah… but, I’d like to talk to you somewhere… private.”
“We can always go outside.”
I knew what she was doing, and I was actually excited. A girl was finally noticing me, someone wanted to kiss me. I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t just walk away. Maybe she did, in fact, know who I was, and maybe she wanted to kiss me because of that, but I pretended that wasn’t true.
We didn’t talk a lot outside, because she kissed me the moment I looked at her. Well, all I remember is that I had my first time in the back of a club, after a few shots of tequila.
She gave me her number afterwards, and left. I never called. Not because I didn’t want to, but because Marlene ripped it when she saw it.
MARLENE MCKINNON: He was a minor!
SIRIUS BLACK: I never got so pissed at her.
“Guys!” I screamed.
“Sirius!” James smiled, “Where were you?”
I laughed loudly, and Remus was staring at me, with no feelings.
“You fucked?” Peter asked, touching my neck.
“Hell fucking yes! I’m not a virgin anymore!”
“Who did you fuck?” Marlene asked, “Was it that older woman you were talking to?”
“She even gave me her number,” I smiled and handed her the paper.
Marlene took it, looked at it, and then stared at me. She ripped it in pieces, throwing it to the floor. My jaw fell completely open. How was I going to find her again? She was waiting for my call, and now she would never get it.
“What the fuck, Marlene?!”
“She’s like 28!”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m almost 18.”
“Well, you’re still 17!” she screamed so loudly that some people were looking at us.
“She didn’t rape me, dumbass! I wanted it too.”
“You have no will of consent! She’s the age of my older sister, who’s married with 4 kids! Do you understand how disgusting that is?”
“You’re fucking crazy, you have to be. What did you expect, huh? Do you think I would find a 16 year old girl here?”
“Well, maybe keep your dick in your pants!”
REMUS LUPIN: I didn’t say anything at that moment… but she was right.
“Guys…” Peter called, “Guys!”
Marlene and Sirius looked at them.
“What?!”
“I think it’s better if we leave.”
“We’re in the middle of a conversation!” Marlene stated.
“I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say, psycho!”
“You fucking will.”
“Guys! People are listening to you! You just said Sirius is 17, and we’re next to the fucking bar, with a goddamn employee there.”
“I don’t think he’ll do anything,” James shrugged.
“He could talk with the security guys,” I warned him, not feeling worried at all.
“We paid the guys,” Sirius said.
“Can you take the conversation outside, at least?”
MARLENE MCKINNON: The fight wasn’t supposed to get so heated. I mean— It was stupid. Sirius was mad I fucked up with his next fuck, but… I was worried about him. She was disgusting.
SIRIUS BLACK: I was mean to Marlene.
“You know what I think?” I had the card up my sleeve, the perfect argument to shut her up.
“What?”
“That you’re jealous.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah. You’re fucking in love with me and you can’t admit it to my face, so you fuck up every possible relationship I might have.”
“First of all, this was the first time I fucked it up, because she’s a pedophile. Second of all…” she took a deep breath, closing her eyes, “I’m a fucking lesbian! And I am sick of stupid men like you thinking I am at your fucking feet, when in reality, I don’t give a fuck! If I tore that paper down, it’s because you’re my friend and I don’t want you to be fucking groomed, which you were!”
Everyone, even me, didn’t say anything.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I looked around, and… I stared at those four straight men, because, at that time, Peter wasn’t out as nonbinary, and I thought they were straight, and were men. And… that was a threat to me.
SIRIUS BLACK: James was the first to say something, but Marlene simply said she was tired, and left.
REMUS LUPIN: I wish I had said something at that moment, but… I mean, she was my best friend, and I had no idea she was a lesbian. She came out in the worst way possible, in my opinion.
“I…” Sirius opened and closed his mouth.
“It’s okay,” I said, walking towards him, “She needs some time.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed that— oh fuck. She— damn.”
SIRIUS BLACK: I was shocked. Not because she was gay, but because… I was questioning myself, and someone, someone could get it. However, I screwed things over by assuming she liked me, because, if she did, she would get super hurted.
REMUS LUPIN: The night died after that whole drama.
“Let’s go home…” James said, taking Sirius away from me.
Peter looked at me, and started walking in the same direction Marlene went. I still don’t know if they talked to each other.
PETER PETTIGREW: I had to make sure she was really okay.
SIRIUS BLACK: Yeah… I fucked up.