Remus' past.
REMUS LUPIN: I’ve been acting my entire life, actually. I started doing theater plays when I was 8, and then started playing small roles on TV shows, and some unknown movies. I could say I’m the luckiest man alive for having the parents that I do.
INTERVIEWER (2): Did you think you would get famous like you did?
REMUS LUPIN: Not at all. I thought I would end up having a shitty job, and that Marlene would be my only friend until my death [laugh]
MARLENE MCKINNON: I’m still not sure how we didn’t end up in an old house full of cats.
"Do you think we'll ever be famous?" I asked, my feet on the wall and my black hair waving outside the bed.
"I don't think so."
"You're closer than I am."
"How so?"
"You're already an actor. No one would want to hear my stupid songs."
"I like your songs," he said, and I rolled my eyes.
"You're my friend."
MARLENE MCKINNON: I never made any move. Remus was the only one hearing what I wrote, and actually appreciating it. I was insecure back then, and I never thought I'd be an artist.
REMUS LUPIN: I was sure that, if she made an effort, she would make it. I wish I could give myself the same advice that I gave to her all the time.
INTERVIEWER (1): When you got the role of Paulie in Juno did you think that would be when your career was finally going forward?
REMUS LUPIN: [sighs] No, actually. Not that I thought the movie wouldn't be a success, I just don't think anyone is expecting people to see you on screen and… fall in love with you. I thought it was so weird that people recognized me and asked for photos, and when they called me Paulie all the time.
"Paulie!" I heard someone call, but I didn't know they were talking to me. I kept walking until I felt a hand on my arm, "Paulie, hey!"
It was a girl, and she was maybe 5 years younger than me. I was 16, and didn't know how to deal with a situation like that.
MINERVA MCGONAGALL (REMUS' AGENT): I had the pleasure to work with Remus since a very young age. I saw that boy grow up, and when he got his role in Juno, I knew that his life would just go up.
REMUS LUPIN: Everything was served to me, always. I thought that it was easy to get what I wanted, but no one prepares you for the Hollywood world… ever.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I hate men.
REMUS LUPIN: I remember that… Should I say the name?
INTERVIEWER (1): If you want!
REMUS LUPIN: [laugh] I don't want to get a process.
INTERVIEWER (1): [laugh]
INTERVIEWER (2): [laugh]
REMUS LUPIN: I remember when Minerva showed me this movie role. Apparently the director saw me in Juno and he was super invested in having me as one of the main characters. I obviously said I wanted it, but when we got to meet each other… [sigh] He just scared me off.
His hand touched my leg, and I frowned slightly, "You're such a beautiful, beautiful young boy. You'll be amazing for this role."
I was glad he was complimenting me, but the way that he talked, and touched parts of my body made me feel like there was a snake hugging my neck, leaving me breathless.
"Thank you," I tried to take his hand off my leg, but he grabbed it instead.
"I saw you in Juno," his warm hand was tightly holding mine, "You're perfect, and talented. I'd love to work with you, if you'd give me that pleasure."
REMUS LUPIN: I walked away that day, shaking. I didn't know what he was doing back then, but I knew it wasn't good. His words were… innocent somehow. It seemed like he was just saying that he really wanted me to work with him, because he appreciated my work, but… there was a malicious intention behind it. When I got home, I called Minerva and told her I didn't want that role.
MINERVA MCGONAGALL: He didn't tell me the real reason until he was around 24. When he told me he was turning down the chance, I got confused. It was a great opportunity, especially after a big movie like Juno, but no one could turn his mind around.
REMUS LUPIN: The assaults didn't stop there, but if I didn't have Minerva with me, I know it would be much worse.
INTERVIEWER (2): You met Peter after Juno, right?
REMUS LUPIN: I was working on There Will Be Blood back then. They knew me from a theater play I did, which was funny because I hated that play.
PETER PETTIGREW (GUITARIST OF THE PARALYZED DUO): He was brilliant. When we first talked, I had to mention it.
"Hey man," I called him.
"Hi."
"I'm Peter. I'm working right there," I pointed to the store behind me, "And I saw you here. I recognized you from that one play."
"Which one?"
"The Tangled one. You made a great Flynn. I watched it with my little sister."
"Thank you," he smiled politely.
PETER PETTIGREW: I wanted to know more of him.
REMUS LUPIN: I could tell they wanted to say something, so I started talking.
“You’re working there, right?” I asked.
“Exactly.”
“I like that store, it has the best marshmallows I’ve ever eaten,” I said, and they laughed.
“I love them too, it’s literally delicious.”
“You said you had a sister, right’”
“Yeah, she loves theater.”
“How old is she?”
“10.”
“And what did she think of the play? I never got any reviews yet…”
“She loved it! She’s obsessed with Disney and all that stuff.”
“And are you?”
“Obsessed with Disney? Yeah, some movies are great.”
“I’ll tell you a secret: I’m not a fan of tangled.”
“What?!”
PETER PETTIGREW: I mean, how could he?
REMUS LUPIN: [laugh], I am not a Disney guy.
“I have to go back to work,” Peter warned.
“Well, I can keep you company, I’m not doing anything right now.”
“Okay! Yeah, that’d be great.”
I followed him to the grocery store, and we talked for almost all the afternoon while they were working. By the end of the day, we shared our phone numbers and I went back to my house. I was happy, and glad I had some kind of new friend.
REMUS LUPIN: I wish my night was as better as the day.
INTERVIEWER (2): What exactly happened that night?
REMUS LUPIN: [sigh]
That night, I walked into the house only to find my mom sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and my dad putting mugs into a suitcase. I was confused. I even thought that he might be going on a sudden work trip, but his facial expressions weren't calm at all.
“What’s happening…?”
My mother got up suddenly. She had tears in her eyes and my concern only grew. My father didn't even stop to look at me.
“Remus, baby, go to your room.”
“What’s happening?” I asked again. My voice getting louder.
“Things will be alright, just go…” her voice was sweet, but I could feel the pain through her words.
“Mom, what’s going on? Dad, where are you going?” He didn’t answer.
He closed the bag, and finally looked at me. His eyes were like a deep, dark void, like he didn’t have any feelings. I never saw my dad like that before. I was hoping he would say something, but he just walked towards the door and left. My mom looked at the wood, her lips going down and her tears getting bigger. At that point I was almost crying, too.
“What happened?”
“Mom and dad…” she sighed, “Things end, Remus, I will only say this.”
She did, in fact, not say anything other than that. I went to my room and sat on the bed, staring at the floor.
It didn’t feel real. I couldn’t believe they actually broke up, and I didn’t even know why.
REMUS LUPIN: Everything was perfect before that. They weren’t the most affectionate couple, but our family was… stable.
INTERVIEWER (1): Did you keep contact with your father?
REMUS LUPIN: It took a few months. The day I ever saw my dad again, he was… happier. My dad was never the man to smile, but after him and my mom broke up… he was just happy with life.
I knocked at the door of the old house, and waited. The building was old, and it had some cobwebs on the corner. He opened the door with bright eyes and embraced me like I was some lost child that found his dad.
“Remus!” he said my name, and I smiled, “Come in, come in.”
When I walked in, I could notice that the house wasn’t the mess I imagined it being. It was clean, and organized. Of course, it wasn’t big and fancy, but it was welcoming. We sat on the couch and he served me hot tea.
“So, how’s school?”
“It’s good. I am working on some plays there.”
“That’s great! And the grades?”
“Normal. Not the best, but…”
“I miss seeing you on stage,” I smiled.
“You can always watch the movies.”
He laughed, and I was glad I was seeing him like that… free.
“My little boy is a movie star.”
“I’m not a movie star, but… I’m going somewhere.”
“People know you, kid! I’ve seen that one movie where you're the main character like 3 times on TV already.”
“Yeah, some people stop me to ask me how’s Juno… but I don’t know if I will be in a big movie like that again.”
“I’m sure you will. Minerva will help.”
“Yeah, I know she will.”
The cute conversation quickly changed to the divorce. By that time I already knew some of the things that led to them breaking up, but nothing was clear. I even thought that he had cheated on mom, but it wasn’t anything like that.
REMUS LUPIN: I was too young to understand that love can fade away. I didn’t know my parents were fighting while I was asleep, at school, working… they tried to give me the best parent figure they could, and I’m so thankful for that… I’m glad they didn’t force themselves into a relationship just to not hurt me.
INTERVIEWER (1): How was it like to live in two different houses?
REMUS LUPIN: Weird. At first, I really hated packing my stuff every weekend to visit my dad, but after some time… It’s just routine. Sometimes my dad would come pick me up and he and my mother would talk normally, without any awkward tension. Of course, I suffered… a lot.
I was crying in my bed. That wasn’t something that happened often, because I always found hard for me to cry over my own life, but not having my dad at home, seeing his empty chair every breakfast, lunch and dinner, not having my dad sitting next to my mom on the couch to watch late night movies, or coming home with big news and not having my dad there to share it, was hard.
“Honey?” my mom called from the door and I wiped my tears away.
“Hi.”
She tapped the top of her mouth with her tongue and walked over to me, grabbing my hand.
“Why?” my voice was shaky.
“There is no particular reason, my love, things just happen…”
“But everything was fine, mom.”
“I’m sorry we’re putting you through this,” she was crying, “We just… need to be away from each other, as respect for all these years together.”
“Can’t you just resolve things? Make up.”
“That’s not how things work,” she shook her head lightly, “We will always be your mom and dad, don’t forget that. You don’t have to push him away just because of the divorce.”
“Are you really going to go forward with it?”
“Yes. We made that decision, and it’s the best for us both.”
I sighed. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just talk and be happy again… but the thing is that they weren’t happy — not anymore.
That night my mom slept with me. She hugged me like she used to do when I was a kid, and I felt safe. Her arms always make me feel safe, and I miss them.
INTERVIEWER (2): We don’t want to make you talk about… you know.
REMUS LUPIN: No- it’s fine. She deserves it. My mom deserves me talking about her death with nothing but love and admiration. When everything happened, I was wrecked. I was freshly 17, and when I found her in the living room, I just thought “I’m gonna die here.” because, if she died, I would die too. My neighbor and I took her to the hospital, and I stayed there all night. Marlene was there and Peter too.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I never saw Remus so sad in my entire life. He was barely eating anything, always looking around hoping some doctor would show up.
PETER PETTIGREW: When Marlene had to leave, I stayed there. I didn’t try to make him talk, but being next to him made me feel like he wasn’t alone, and that’s what mattered.
REMUS LUPIN: I still remember the moment the doctor showed up.
“Hi, are you the son of Hope Lupin?”
I got up quickly, cleaning the sweat in my hands on my pants.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Well, we've been trying our best, but what happened is a sudden cardiac arrest. She arrived here a long time after the incident, and we tried our best to make her recover, even with severe sequelae. But nothing worked. We might keep trying, but…” I knew what he meant.
I knew they weren’t going to keep trying, I knew they gave up, and were only trying to make me feel better. I remember that I started laughing, but not because it was funny, I was desperate. I couldn’t believe it, so what started with a laugh, ended up with tears, and grunts of despair. Peter hugged me, and I couldn’t even see the doctor’s face anymore. My mother was dead, or close to it, and I couldn’t do anything. Why? Why? What made her have a heart attack so randomly? She was fine, and I couldn’t understand.
I stayed in the hospital for more hours, until another doctor came to say that her heart wasn’t beating, and that there was nothing they could do. I went to my dad’s house, and I never left.
REMUS LUPIN: The day of the funeral, I was a mess. I couldn’t even finish my speech, because all I did was cry. My father finished it for me, and I still remember him crying while the coffin was being put down. [sigh] when I heard the dirt hitting the coffin, I just… felt it.
It was real, and my mom wasn’t here anymore. I cried, and cried like a baby. I never felt such pain in my entire life. Marlene was holding my shoulder, and Peter my hand. I was thinking about her smile, her voice, her hug, and the way she used to make me laugh.
“I’m so sorry,” Marlene whispered.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I didn’t know Hope very well, but the times I went to Remus’ house, she was… an angel, and Remus loved her so much, he will forever love her.
PETER PETTIGREW: I didn’t know Hope, but I knew she was an amazing woman for the way Remus talked, and felt about her.
REMUS LUPIN: Everywhere I go, every award I win, every project I do, everything is for her. When I got married… I missed her face among the people. I missed her clapping and being happy to see me happy. However, she’s always with me.
MINERVA MCGONAGALL: It was hard to lose Hope. She was an amazing friend to me.
REMUS LUPIN: I was depressed for a long time, but Peter and Marlene were always there for me. I love them so much, and I’m grateful for them.
MARLENE MCKINNON: [sad smile]
REMUS LUPIN: I remember when Marlene played this one song… Sure Thing [smile], I didn’t know who Sirius Black was, but she told me everything she knew. When she said she invited him to her party, back in the summer, I didn’t believe it. I mean, how was I going to believe a famous person accepted going to the party of some stranger? [laugh] he’s unbelievable.
MARLENE MCKINNON: I was just hoping Sirius would actually show up, or Remus would haunt me forever.
PETER PETTIGREW: Marlene played Sure Thing so many times, that today that’s the song I hate the most from all of Sirius’ discography.
REMUS LUPIN: When I saw Sirius, I actually couldn’t believe it was him.