khush kismat
He silently followed behind Sirius as he walked towards some unidentified location with fervour, his steps slightly hurried but only in an attempt to get there quicker lest they get caught out of class by anyone.
“Where are we going?” he finally asked fearfully after they had walked up two flights of stairs and he was getting winded.
“We’re almost there,” Sirius replied evenly, again, his tone too neutral to be able to decipher what he might actually be thinking or feeling. Sirius almost always wore his heart on his sleeve so to see him so…calm, was unsettling.
He finally slowed once they approached a grim statue portraying a one-eyed woman leaning on a tall wooden cane. She smiled eagerly down at them and her one eye felt like it moved to watch their movements.
Sirius approached and pulled his wand, tapping it against her leg with a hushed “ Dissendium! ” The stones behind the woman shifted to reveal a passageway that his brother slipped through, turning only to indicate him to follow him with a waved hand.
Regulus knew of numerous passages around the castle, having scoped many of them out himself during his early years, especially those around the Dungeons, but he seemed to have missed this one.
“I never knew there was a passageway here,” he murmured uneasily as his eyes adjusted to the dimness.
Sirius walked steadily ahead with a Lumos, “Moony found it in first year, he always had a nose for chocolate,” he joked and Regulus huffed in agreement, well aware of his friends’ proclivity towards chocolate and all things sweet.
He thought it might have led to the Kitchens but they walked down that narrow stone and wood corridor for so long that he tossed that idea away.
“I’m surprised you agreed to come with me,” Sirius said. “I thought Potions was your favourite.”
In all this time, Sirius hadn’t actually looked at him once, only ever speaking in his general direction while faced the other way.
The latter half of Sirius’ comment could have multiple meanings but he didn’t parse through them as he said, “I’ll admit I was curious.”
Finally they reached a wooden ladder in the centre of a small circular room and Sirius scurried up it with ease, using his wand to tap against a little latch on the ceiling in a rhythmic pattern. There was the sound of metal scraping against metal and Sirius slowly pushed the hatch open a crack and peeked through before opening it fully and jumping through.
“Come quick,” he called down and Regulus rushed to follow.
He braced a hand on the ledge and pulled himself up and was met instead with the sensation of falling and soon he was looking up at the latch he had just supposed climbed up out of.
“What?” he asked, disoriented, looking around and finding himself splayed out on some imaginary cushion, his body a foot above the ground.
“Yeah I don’t know the latch flip flops you, we learned that the hard way,” Sirius shrugged, rubbing at a spot on the crown of his head as though it still hurt from whenever that first time was.
"A warning would've been nice," he grumbled, wiping dust off his robes.
They landed in some sort of storage room, boxes piled high on all sides around them with unstocked merchandise and it was a candy lover’s dream as open boxes of Sugar quills, Caramel Pops, and Fudge flies sat alluringly all around them and there was only one place they could be- Honeydukes.
Sirius then tapped his wand against his robes, erasing the Hogwarts crest and Gryffindor colours that decorated the seams. He also took off his tie and popped it in his pocket and Regulus followed suit.
Sirius nodded once at him in approval before sneaking through the wooden door and into the store proper.
It was full of overexcited children, exasperated parents, and one very confused Regulus.
“Why did you decide to bunk?” he asked but Sirius just shrugged in reply, more focused on the colourful display advertising something called “Moth Mints.” He didn’t think that sounded very appetising.
He picked up a basket and began filling it with various types of chocolates and sweets and by that point, Regulus had given up on figuring out Sirius’ motives and trying to decipher whether or not he was on the verge of an explosion. He’d monitor the situation of course but also knew there was no harm in grabbing a few sweets for himself while he was at it.
His first target was the aisle laden with Sugar Quills and he swiftly grabbed three packets, one for him, one for Pandora, and maybe one just for him again.
“Some things never change” Sirius mused as he turned the corner.
Regulus huffed a bit, "One’s for Pandora,” he defended but he couldn’t help but smile sneakily, “Y’know mum went through my trunk last summer and gave me a whole lecture about how these weren’t good for me and she threw them away.”
Sirius frowned but Regulus continued, “So I hid my extra pack in our box under the floorboard. You told me to put it to good use didn’t you?”
He missed the way Sirius’ face turned up in curiosity as he grabbed some more candy for Evan and Barty as well.
When they had finally finished their round of the store, twice, they went up to the counter where a stout cherub-faced old man with thick spectacles stood.
They put their baskets down at the same time and the man began picking and scanning items from both indiscriminately. Regulus thought they were to pay separately but Sirius didn’t seem to care as he watched on.
“How are you two fine fellows today? Twins I presume?” he squinted down at them.
“We are! Nice catch, and we’re good thanks, how are you?” Sirius queried good-naturedly, lying right through his white teeth.
“You know how it is,” he winked but Regulus didn’t really know how it was.
“What are you two boys doing out on a Monday? Shouldn’t you be up at school?” he surmised and Regulus wondered if this man knew about the passage back to Hogwarts.
Then, out of nowhere, Sirius put on a French accent, “Oh no, we go to Beauxbatons and we’ve come here on holiday!”
“And how are you liking it?” he grinned, leaning forward- his demeanour changed completely.
“I am simply loving it my friend, you know in French we say, mettre des paillettes sur de la merde .”
Regulus had to cover up his grin with his hand while the man whose name tag read Sullivan, eyes bulged, “And what’s that mean?”
“I fear there are no English words for it,” Sirius frowned sorrowfully, putting a hand over his heart mournfully.
“Why don’t you go ahead and take this for free, for your kind words,” the father-Christmas lookalike offered, handing them a heavy bag full of both their orders.
“I couldn’t possibly,” Sirius said, already sliding the bag towards himself.
The man insisted and Sirius accepted and only when they were out of the store did Regulus guffaw, “What's the point of all the dramatics?”
“Sometimes there is no point,” Sirius grinned, looking all around, then he leaned in, “We also learned the hard way that the employees sometimes tell on us to McGonagall if we have our uniforms on.”
The village was already starting to show signs of Christmas excitement with string lights being put up to connect buildings across the main road, all the potted plants had been replaced with mini Christmas trees or blooming red poinsettias, and the storefronts were being shined with new merchandise being put out. The smell of baked goods wafted from bakeries and the pinewood scent brushed through the narrow road every once in a while, refreshing it.
It was a frigid day and his uniform didn’t provide much warmth and Sirius didn’t look much better as he rubbed his hands together and blew hot air into them so when an old woman rolled by with a cart advertising hot chocolate, they jumped on the opportunity.
“Could we have two hot chocolates please?” Regulus requested kindly, already pulling out his pouch.
“Of course you can dearie,” she crooned, giving him a wide and gummy smile before locking her cart in place and grabbing two cups for them.
“I love your scarf, it brings out the colour in your eyes,” Sirius commented in that French elocution, sending a secret wink his way before smouldering at the old woman.
She looked up at him with a frown before handing Regulus his drink with another smile and a pat on the hand.
Sirius looked affronted, “I said I-.”
“I heard what you said boy, now get your hand off my cart,” she swatted, grumbling as she made his drink.
Regulus had to hide his grin in his cup at Sirius’ disbelief- the idea that his charms might not work on someone was simply preposterous.
She shoved Sirius’ drink in his hand before ogling him once more, “You go ahead and take that for free.”
“Oh I could never,” he insisted and handed her more than enough to cover the drink and tip.
She blushed before turning to Sirius, “That’ll be two galleons for you.”
“But you gave him his drink for free!” Sirius argued.
“He is a respectable young man, you are a hooligan, two galleons mister,” she ordered, glaring at him.
He dropped two galleons, making sure to rub his hand along her cart before pulling away.
“Get a haircut,” she grumbled before hobbling away.
“Senile old bat,” he frowned before walking in the opposite direction towards a small park in which little christmas trees had been erected, gnomes ran around stealing toys and harassing children, and fairies flitted about being chased by toddlers with chubby fists.
“Mum never let us play here,” Regulus mused as he looked on. His mum always thought playgrounds were too dirty, their clothes would be ruined, and it was all around undignified for Black children to be seen having fun.
He remembered the way he and Sirius would look on in envy when they were forced to come with their mum for one thing or another. His older brother would cheer him up by squeezing his hand and promising that they’d have their own fun at home.
At the time, Regulus thought Sirius was already an expert at magic with the way he pulled out new and exciting games every other day. He hadn’t realised how Sirius almost always made up the games they played to keep Regulus entertained- he found that out when he went to Hogwarts and asked to play ‘Skipping Marbles’ in which one player would skip marbles across the floor while the other would jump on one foot in hopes of jumping more times than the marble did. It sounded stupid to think it out like this but at the time it was among his favourites.
“Let’s go on then,” Sirius chirped, downing his drink.
“Sirius, I think we’re too old for this now,” he groused.
“Haven’t you heard? Today’s the day for breaking rules,” Sirius called out, walking backwards for a moment as he wiggled his brows.
“You know, you still haven’t quite told me why we’re doing this,” he replied, sidestepping a child who looked two seconds away from throwing a tantrum in front of his mother who was chastising him for trying to take off his coat.
Sirius kept walking and Regulus thought he wasn’t going to answer him until they got to the small iron wrought gate that served as the entrance to the playground.
He turned to look at Regulus directly, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his robes, “Look, I don’t want to stand between you and James. I admit, at first I was a bit surprised- okay maybe more than a bit,” he huffed, “and I was angry. I didn’t know why I was just so bloody angry about it until I realised that it sort of felt a bit like he had picked a side.”
“But James never-,” Regulus instantly jumped but Sirius gave him a look that made him pause,
“I know he never meant to but it still felt that way. You and I argue so much, we always were sort of on opposite sides, and I know that was just mum pitting us against each other a lot of the time. We were sort of never given a chance to see what it might have been like if we were on the same side of things y’know?
“And I wanted to talk to you I suppose…At school, we never would’ve had a chance, I thought it might be fun to, I dunno, come out here, spend the day together…like old times,” he finished timidly, looking years younger than he was.
This was also the most honest Sirius had been in years and Regulus admitted he agreed with most of what Sirius said- about having always been enemies instead of allies, despite how terrible it felt to use those terms with his own brother.
“Well then you have to push me on the swings first,” was all Regulus said, pulling the gate open and stepping through.
He could hear Sirius’ bark of laughter behind him and smiled at the elation that roared within him. He could lie to himself all he wanted, that he didn’t want or need Sirius around, that he was better without him, and that may have held true- for a time. But now, he wanted Sirius around again, especially as times outside the school were getting worse.
He wanted his big brother back.
It just took years to admit it.
_______
They went back and forth on the swings, howling with laughter and enjoying themselves, until they finally noticed the swarm of angry children around them, begging to be let on for their turn.
“Mummy, they’re hogging the swings!” one little girl cried out.
They got off, not wanting to be told off by tired mothers and fathers, and took a break, sitting on a bench and breaking into their candy supply.
“So, James is teaching you how to swim?” Sirius asked, swinging his feet and unwrapping what must be his tenth chocolate bon bon.
Regulus had to unstick the toffee from his teeth before he could answer, “I suppose. I don’t know how to actually ‘swim’ yet but I know how to not drown.” He smiled, remembering their very first lesson and comparing it to where they were today, “I might’ve been an Olympic swimmer by now if I hadn’t been so difficult. James was quite patient with me.”
Sirius nodded, pocketing his empty wrapper, “How’d McGonagall find out what happened?”
“Yaxley told Slughorn who then told her. I also er- stopped sleeping in the dungeons after that happened- the Lake and all. She figured I must be scared of water and she knew James swam in the Lake every morning and well, here we are.” His heart and lungs no longer seized at the thought of the Lake, the memories of drowning being replaced by the feeling of James’ large hands warm against him in the cool water of the Lake, his calm voice reassuring him as he helped Regulus manoeuvre.
“Y’know, the first time James talked about getting in the water, I refused, I told him I’d never do it and nothing could change that. He started fighting with me, yelling and calling me a coward.”
Sirius’ eyes widened and Regulus continued, “Turns out, he was just egging me on. I didn’t even realise I was in the water until I was yelling right in his face and he just had a big smile on his face. I should’ve known then that this- we- sorry, it’s just weird,” he shook his head, knowing Sirius wouldn’t want to hear about this.
“I don’t want it to be- not anymore,” Sirius said quietly, handing Regulus a sugar quill. He suspects Sirius has been secretly eating from his pack.
Regulus nodded and Sirius began, “You mentioned the Imperius curse…” He bit his lip, as if he hadn’t planned out the rest of that sentence.
“Yeah, that seems to be Mulciber’s favourite these days,” he frowned, “It’s fine, it was a long time ago.’
“It’s not fine,” Sirius said, turning to him with blazing eyes, his hand reflexively landing on Regulus’ knee before he pulled it away and he repeated, calmer, “It’s not.”
“Well I’ve been through it before. I was more worried about MacDonald…”
“She wanted to thank you, just didn’t get a chance to yet but I also wanted to thank you- I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there,” Sirius said earnestly and Regulus just gave him a thin-lipped smile, not really wanting to accept gratitude for what he’d done as it still made him feel sick- anyone would have helped in that situation.
“So you’re okay then? With James and I? I mean we haven’t figured out what’ll happen after school or- I don’t know it’s just we- it’s complicated because we-” he stumbled over his words, not knowing how to explain himself but Sirius caught on and let his hand rest on Regulus’ knee this time,
“I’m okay with it, truly. I’d rather have both of you in my life than neither of you,” Sirius admitted and Regulus squeezed Sirius’ shoulder, tampering down his emotions that threatened to boil over at his childhood dreams coming back to life.
If he had told his 14 year old self that this would be happening, he wouldn’t believe him- call him a fool with an overactive imagination but this really was happening. His mum would probably rip her hair out and Bellatrix would probably curse his bollocks off and even then, the pain would pale in comparison to his heightened emotions right now, Sirius by his side, smiling at him instead of sneering, his touch comforting instead of painful, his words genuine and kind instead of vitriol-coated as they had been before.
“And now brother, I say it’s time for a butterbeer,” he said, standing up and brushing dust off the back of his robes.
“Off we go, frère,” he grinned, accepting Sirius’ outstretched hand to help him up.
______
Sirius was currently staring out of the frosted windows of the Three Broomsticks, a deep frown on his face and a furrow between his thick brows. His hand was wrapped tightly around his mug, his knuckles turning white, and his other hand was in a fist under his chin.
“Sirius,” Regulus sighed.
“Why didn’t you tell me,” he grit out, still not looking at him as though he was the one at fault.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” he tried to reason. Sirius got around to asking about all the times he had gone to the hospital wing and Regulus answered, mostly, all the reasons why from the smallest of fractures to the full on wounds he sustained while at home, held together only by Narcissa’s handiwork.
“I should’ve known . I know what happens in that house, I should’ve been able to tell-” he started at the beginning of a rampage.
“Sirius, no. There’s no way you could’ve known and I don’t want to hear you ramble about your guilt that’s incredibly misplaced,” Regulus cut, already tired of this conversation.
“What else do I not know about?” he sighed, his unbound hair stirring from his breath.
The small pub was full today, steady chatter floating from each table only broken by the occasional laughter or clink of glasses behind the counter. The windows panes were already beginning to frost over but it was still warm and heady with the sweet scent of drinks inside.
He was beginning to think it was a rhetorical question when Sirius began wiping the drops of water that had formed on the outside of his drink, making little swirls and lines in the condensation.
“Have you seen him?” Sirius said after a moment, turning to him now, his eyes dark in the amber lighting of the room as though they sucked in light instead of reflecting it.
“Who?"
“ Him.” he enunciated and Regulus already knew who he was referring to and instinctively his palms began to sweat, his mental walls shot up harshly, blocking out all feeling, and his heart rate picked up. How should he answer?
With the truth? No he couldn’t admit that, could he? He knew people spoke of the dark Lord but did they really know or was it more of a theory most people held- like he might or might not exist? Telling Sirius could have horrible repercussions- especially with Dumbledore already looming behind him, his claws already dug deep.
“No,” he bit out.
“Don’t lie to me please,” Sirius begged. The Dark Lord had been a subject of conversation for years and one Sirius and his parents explosively fought about, it was obvious that he should know something by now.
“I haven’t seen him. Mum talks about him sometimes but that’s all,” he said, knowing he couldn’t flat out deny their family’s involvement but not wanting to confirm anything that could be incriminating.
His brother looked pensive as he considered him before downing the rest of the watered down liquid in his cup.
“Come home with me for Christmas.”
“What?” Regulus startled.
“I’m serious, come to the Potters with me.”
“No.”
“What?”
“Sirius I can’t just leave,” Regulus sighed, rubbing his temples slowly.
“You can!” he exclaimed.
He could leave sure- but then the Dark Lord, Bellatrix, and his parents would surely stop by for a spot of tea with a side of Crucio’s. He wouldn’t submit them to that.
“Regulus, I’m here again, please come with me this time. No delays, no waiting until it’s dark out, none of that- justcome with me,” he begged, referencing when he had initially escaped and Regulus had hesitated.
Escaping then might have been more plausible than it had been now- Walburga would’ve come back for either of them surely but there were more players involved now and he couldn’t just walk away from it all.
He put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder and looked at him, “Sirius, you know better than to ask that of me.”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” Sirius shrugged dejectedly.
A moment of silence passed before ,“James says I should write to you over the holiday. I didn’t know if you’d want that but…” Regulus offered, holding out a thin and crippled olive branch.
“I would,” Sirius whispered, accepting it with strong hands and a loosed breath, evidence of grim acceptance.
_______
They booked it back to the castle, having skipped nearly an entire day of classes and the rest were out of luck if they thought they were going to show up for those after the day they’d had.
About halfway back, Regulus felt a drop of something wet land on his nose and he wiped at it in disgust only for it to happen again a moment later. Then a drop hit his cheek and when he looked up, he felt one land right on his eyeball.
Little snow flurries drifted off from the clouds, so light it could barely be called snow but it still brought a smile to his lips as he felt them kiss and melt on his face.
He looked at Sirius who was rapidly becoming coated in them, little specks of white dotting his hair and robes.
“It’s a miracle,” Sirius sang humorously in a quiet voice.
“It is,” Regulus agreed genuinely with a faint smile, looking around. It was sure to be a frigid winter but he could hardly complain when the view was so beautiful.
When they reached the castle, stepping into the blissful heating charms, he and Sirius looked at each other for an awkward moment before parting ways.
Neither of them had anything left to say, not after they’d bared their hearts and souls back in Hogsmeade and so Regulus thought they’d be done with a gesture instead, a small wave or handshake maybe so he was entirely taken aback when Sirius wrapped his arms around him.
His arms wound around Regulus tightly and he could smell the faint scent of smoke and cologne and he breathed deeply, lifting his arms to hold Sirius as well. His hair tickled his cheek and his robes scratched his chin and he had felt an enormous weight he didn’t know he was carrying lift from his shoulders.
Sirius pulled back finally before simply nodding awkwardly and turning on his heel back towards Gryffindor tower and it felt horribly right that they’d end with something as stiff as that.
He headed back to the Slytherin dorms to face a likely inquiry from all of his incredibly nosy friends.
_______
James’ head snaps up when the portrait swings open, just as it had for everyone else that stepped through and he almost looked down instinctively as he had to do before but his eyes lingered long enough to see Sirius finally stepping through.
“Where were you!” Peter called out, frowning, upset as Sirius was his partner in Defence and today they were meant to practise duelling- he ended up getting partnered with Snape and had his arse handed to him on a silver platter.
James was just upset because his part time Potions partner, part time boyfriend, had also gone missing.
“I come bearing gifts,” he grinned and pulled a bag out of his charmed pockets with a flourish and began dropping candy in front of all of them.
“Thank you very much,” Lily plucked a chocolate out of James’ pile, smart enough to stay away from Remus’ before going back to where Marlene was bent over a table trying to figure out an Arithmancy problem.
“Hogsmeade?” he asked based off the bags though usually that was an activity that consisted of the entire group.
Sirius nodded, “I took the day off.”
“And Regulus?” Remus was brave enough to ask. James had almost been too afraid to even say his name around Sirius as though that would trigger him or set him off.
“I took my dear little brother with me, we had fun,” he said easily as though that was normal for the two of them.
“Fun?” James questioned slowly.
“Yup,” Sirius said, popping the ‘p’ and he made to walk up the stairs to the dorms.
He didn’t elaborate and James remained tense, wondering if they genuinely did have fun or if Regulus was currently lying alone in a corridor somewhere, hexed with grass growing out of nose.
James followed up after him and clearly that was the right idea because Sirius was inside, sitting on top of his trunk, already staring at the door. His shoes were kicked off and James followed suit and went to sit by him on the just-wide enough trunk.
Sirius ran a finger through his silky black hair before dropping them in his lap and turning grey moonstone eyes onto him, “Look Prongs, he and I spoke and we’re good- really. And I told him that I’m okay with this- with the both of you.”
“You are?” he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I was just scared that you were picking sides and I lashed out-”
Naturally, James jumped up and onto Sirius, pulling him into a crushing hug, “I would never pick sides, Pads c’mon. Why do you think I was so scared to tell you? You’re one of the most important people in my life. I don’t- I could never choose,” he said as honestly as he could, knowing he’d spent countless sleepless nights agonising over this exact problem.
“And if I made you pick?” Sirius huffed.
“Mate I don’t know, I mean I love you and I love-,” he shut his mouth, his tongue leaden in his mouth as his eyes bulged. He cringed at the realisation of what he almost let slip.
Sirius turned round eyes onto him, “You love him?” His voice was full of awe and wonder, a distinct lack of any sort of anger.
This was something James had been struggling with for a while now.
His mum always told him he had a big heart, that he loved and trusted everyone so easily and she was all too right. He could confidently say he loved all of his friends, Sirius to Marlene to Frank- he loved them all.
But it was entirely different with Regulus.
He loved the way Regulus bit his lip whenever he took notes in Potions, loved the way he pretended to mull over what spread to put on his toast every morning at breakfast before choosing grape jam as he always did. He loved the way Regulus arched his back and buried his face in James’ shoulder whenever they had a moment alone together and loved the way he traced constellations onto his bare skin afterwards. He loved his smoky eyes and the bump on his nose that he knew he hated- he loved Regulus.
If one day he were to pick butter instead of jam or fix that bump on his nose it would mean nothing to him.
If Regulus were to change everything about himself- James would still love him.
It was that surety that forced him to nod to Sirius and admit that lingering truth.
Sirius’ eyes went glassy then in a rare display of emotion and James almost didn’t know what to do or say.
“I’m happy it’s you Prongs.” he whispered.
James had been begging to hear those words for weeks.
“I love you Sirius,” he choked out, needing to say the words.
Sirius just shook his head, wiping his eyes, “You don’t have to-”
James put a hand on his arm, “Hey no- I do. From first year to now to next year to next century Pads, I love you, as a best friend, a brother, more than even a lover ,” he laughed, thick and watery, “I love you Sirius.”
Sirius just hugged him and James felt at home.
_______
“Look I know you’re feeling especially hopeful now that we have Sirius’ blessing but I don’t think he’d be all too pleased if you killed me now,” Regulus lectured from his spot on the beach to James who had already been swimming laps around him.
“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done that on day one love,” James sang as he floated on his back, his arms under his head as though he were lounging on a sofa, his mesh shirt clinging to the sinewy muscles of his chest and abdomen.
James had decided that he was to combine floating and moving - a move he was vehemently against.
“Okay you’re scared to drown but guess what,” he grinned, swimming back to him and getting out of the water, dripping all the way to where he had left his bag.
“What?” he groaned, turning.
“I bought you something,” he smiled, “Consider it an early Christmas present- cover your eyes.”
Regulus rolled his eyes before shutting them, sticking his hands out in a ‘here’ gesture.
“Don’t open them,” James ordered before he felt him grab his arm, guiding his hand through some sort of rubber hole that felt tight as James kept coaxing them further up his arm.
“Oh my gods, what is that,” he moaned, fully expecting it to be two snakes constricting around his arms for how tight they squeezed.
James ignored him and repeated his actions for the second arm before saying, “Ta da!”
He opened his eyes and looked down at the bright pink and green rings that hugged his arms.
“James, what are these,” he asked evenly.
“Swimming floaties!”
“They use these for babies! I’m not a baby! ” he cried out rather petulantly.
“Then stop acting like one and get in the water!” James goaded him, already wading back in the water.
Regulus frowned and ripped them off but followed him in, grateful for McGonagall’s heating charms that held over the water despite the frost that had begun to develop on the grass around the Lake.
“We’re just going to be doing a backstroke, it’s one of the easiest moves,” James instructed, already placing his hands on Regulus’ lower back and knees to coax him on his back.
He slowly leaned back to float, keeping his abdomen high and his centre of gravity tight and even, the water licking up his cheek and arms eager to claim him. He asserted dominance by remaining steadfast, not straightening up and thrashing until he reached solid ground like he desperately wanted to.
“Just breathe, we’re okay,” James lulled him soothingly and Regulus had to wonder how he had gotten so fit. There was no ground beneath them so James had just been treading water this entire time and yet his upper body was straight and his breath was even as though it wasn’t tiring him out at all.
The black sky stretched out all around them pierced through with shimmering stars. The earlier clouds of the day had moved on, leaving them with this brief chance to admire the sight Regulus would never grow tired of.
Looking at the night sky always soothed him like a balm- after a particularly rough night at home he’d sit on the floor right by his window and stare out, reciting RegulusSiriusWalburga… going through all his family members before repeating the cycle until he felt grounded again.
“Now I want you to just slowly start kicking your feet to get a feel for moving in the water,” James ordered and Regulus still remained rigid. James tapped his fingers under Regulus’ back in a gentle reminder that he’d keep him supported and so Regulus slowly loosened his body, kicking his feet gently in the water.
“You won’t get anywhere like that,” James laughed, “Try a little harder.”
So Regulus did, kicking, and he could see James moving with him with a beaming smile on his face as he watched him, “You’re a natural.”
He couldn’t speak back, too focused on the task at hand but it gave him the motivation to continue. They stayed like this for a while, until kicking came naturally to him as James guided them in a small arc on their side of the Lake.
Regulus grew to appreciate James’ endurance because he was getting tired and he knew he’d sleep like the dead tonight and wake up very sore.
“Now try sticking your arms up and over your head and you’ll just use them to propel you forward, nothing crazy,” James said, slowing them to a stop and Regulus slowly unpeeled his arms from his sides and pushed outwards.
He arms and legs were horribly uncoordinated, his legs kicking at a steady but fast pace and his arms oddly flopping about on either side of him, sometimes at the same time, and other times with large gaps in between but James didn’t comment on any of it, just kept nodding at him throughout as he eyed his form critically in an eerily good impression of McGonagall.
They paused and James began with his critiques, “Good you’re using your arms but at the rate you’re going at, you’ll just tire yourself out and not really get anywhere. Remember to flutter kick your feet, a quick tap-tap, no big splashes of water. As for your arms, you’re rather stiff and you don’t pull your arms out of the water nearly as much as you should- remember, we want smooth long arcs as you rotate your shoulder. Let’s try again.”
He let go of Regulus after sometime and while he was irked, he knew he wouldn’t have learned any other way because that forced him to coordinate his limbs to work in tandem lest he sink like a thrashing mess.
“Much better,” James commented, sitting further up on the bank to rest now, leaving Regulus to swim in little circles himself.
He broke out into a small hidden smile as he went, rather proud of himself for tonight. He never thought he’d be here but he was like a real proper swimmer now, or at least capable enough to not sink like a stone if dropped in water.
James came back to helpfully retrieve him and dragged him back to shore again, their bottom half submerged and their top halves wrapped around each other. He could hear James’ heart beat a steady rhythm under his hot skin and watched water droplets skim down his frame, falling from his hair onto the column of his neck before dipping into the gap in his shirt.
He could admire James for days and always find something new about him to focus on- the freckle under his jaw, the divot in his earlobe, the uneven set of his bottom lip- he was a marvel.
James smiled down at him and it served to further proved his point and his hazel eyes made a path along his face before connecting back to his eyes and in a low and heavy voice, James murmured, “Kabi kabi mei sochta hoo ke mei aapse milkar itna khush kismat kasai tha.”
He hadn’t the faintest idea what that meant- his knowledge of Urdu barely spanning the vocabulary words James had slowly tricked into conversation over the past few months. He knew ‘kabi kabi’ meant sometimes and ‘kismat’ was supposed to mean fate but that was all.
His eyes were searching and his voice softened when he finished, “Mei tumse pyaar karta hoon.”
“What does that mean?” he asked softly.
Instead of answering, he dipped his head down to kiss him, his lips warm and soft against his own and he brought a hand up to wrap around the nape of his neck, the water droplets cooling the skin there.
The calluses on his hands from Quidditch rubbed against the sensitive skin there and Regulus shivered at the sensation. James leaned over Regulus then, bracing his hand on his other side, fully trapping him within his grasp and Regulus welcomed it, leaning back to give him more space.
He couldn’t fully lean back lest he start drowning but he gripped onto James for balance, his fingers digging into his shoulder blades that flexed as he moved.
He guided his free hand down to the waistband of James’ shorts and James bit down on his skin in the crook of his neck, shuddering and Regulus smiled, slipping his fingers past the elastic.
James had just begun to moan in his ear when a large wave of water flew in their direction- drenching them both.
Regulus jumped back at the shock of being submerged and James did too, his head whipping in the direction of the disturbance.
Only once the water cleared from their vision did it happen again- a great splash falling on them with the force of an entire ocean.
“What the bloody-” James began, wiping at his face but it was then that Regulus saw it-
A large indigo-coloured tentacle flicked out of the water at them as if threatening to do it again and they quickly separated, keeping their hands to themselves, and only then did the tentacle retreat.
“Did we just get caught by…the Squid?” James whispered like it was still listening.
“I think so,” Regulus replied blankly.
“Can it take house points?”
“Surely not…?” Regulus really wasn’t entirely sure how sentient this Squid was. He didn’t really even know where it came from and how it got here but it must be quite intelligent if it was displeased about their activities in its’ home.
“I think he’s telling us it’s time to go back inside,” James huffed, standing up and casting a quick drying charm on the both of them before putting his robes back on to cover his swimming costume.
When they were almost at the castle and Regulus’ mental faculties had returned to normal, he spoke, “What were you saying before, in Urdu?”
James looked surprised, as if he’d forgotten he had said anything either, “Oh it was just the words to a song my mum sang a lot, it was stuck in my head, not sure what it means though.”
He nodded along despite his confusion. James was fluent, had told him so himself, and if he knew a couple words in the phrase then James surely knew the whole meaning but he didn’t press- perhaps it really was something his mum had sung to him, he wouldn’t know. It was especially curious because James hadn’t even sung the words, merely said them…
James had escorted him all the way to the dungeons before going back up to his tower and when he went to his dorm, he found that both his roommates were already fast asleep in Evan’s bed to his left.
He didn’t disturb them and instead went to his wardrobe to pull out a fresh set of pyjamas to change into after his shower. He dropped the top he slid off a hanger and when he went to retrieve it, his hand brushed against the small wooden box he had brought with him from home and crouching down, he grasped it and cracked it open.
It was the two mysterious chains he had nicked from home.
Initially, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with them, he just knew it didn’t feel right to leave them rotting at home, thinking it a disservice to whoever had them made.
He often wondered about them- Which Black had commissioned their creation? Which Gryffindor had he fallen in love with? Did he ever have a chance to give the other pair to them or had something happened before then? He’d never know.
He shut the box with a click and tucked it away again until Christmas where an idea unfurled in his mind.
Piled right beside it were the books he had been using from Kreacher, the most recent one being titled Secrets of the Darkest Art. It was supposed to have been in the restricted section of the library but when he went, Madam Pince just snapped at him and said it had been removed.
He’d be sure to take a look into it at some point before Christmas which was only a startling two weeks away. He felt like he had a million things to do before then and he was simply running out of time.
Before he could have a crisis about it, he shut his wardrobe door with a resounding click.