crystalline moment in time
“So how big is it?” Pandora asked as they both lay side by side on her bed on their backs staring up at the whorling swirls of paint on the ceiling. A small wireless played music in the corner and they had just abandoned their studying in favour of quietly dissociating and mentally preparing for their possible failure on all their OWLs.
“How big is what?” he asked in return, slowly eating from the plate of cookies he’d stolen from the kitchen elves.
“James’...y’know,” she whispered before giggling at the end as though they were first years.
“We’re not having this conversation,” he abruptly put an end to that line of questioning.
“Why! I’ll tell you how big Xeno’s is.”
“Quite frankly, I’m not sure I want to know although-” before he could finish he was cut off by an enthusiastic,
“8.5 inches,” she answered confidently, “And I’d know because I measured it just to make sure.”
“That’s…odd but I admire your thoroughness,” he trailed off, still mildly shocked from the truth of the matter, he figured that must be why she was so in love with a man whose idea of romance involved walking around the grounds at night to find frogs and whether they too mate as we do.
“You’re the only other one of us that is actuallywith someone. Dorcas and Marlene are still who knows what, Evan and Barty- I know they aren’t technically a thing but we’ve talked about the possibility of them together for too long for them not to be- don’t know what to do with each other, I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen. I mean I wasn’t completely sure it was going to be with a boy but…” she finished, turning to the side to look at him, her crystalline eyes dancing in the dappled sunlight that streamed in through the open windows.
He groaned and brought a hand up to his face, “Honestly, I’m not sure I ever knew what exactly was going to happen. I mean I knew I wasn’t quite into girls but it just always seemed like that’s how it was going to end up and James was so…unexpected.”
It was true. His mother had talked about arranging his marriage since he had started at Hogwarts- always hearing her comments about paying attention to certain girls in his year that would ‘be a good match’ for him and being sure to stay away from someone involved in the most recent social scandal.
When he never found any of them attractive, he knew he was different but when no one else necessarily presented themselves as an option for him, he just put relationships in the far corner of his mind, never to be thought of until the time came for him to stand at the end of an aisle and marry some faceless witch he’d only just met.
In true James fashion, the boy had waltzed into his life and turned it upside down in an instant.
He’d been beaten and slapped numerous times when he was younger because he’d always acted too ‘weak’ which in most cases just meant feminine to his mother. He supposed he always knew he was different but never did he think he’d ever have a chance to find out his truth once and for all.
He started to wonder where James was on all this and a pit formed low in his stomach.
What if Regulus was just a phase in his life? If he was some sort of experiment James had conducted just to make sure he was or was not straight? While James’ body reacted one way to Regulus, he was rapidly becoming more concerned with what James thought and felt.
He was just getting lost in his thoughts when Pandora smacked him lightly on the cheek, “Don’t do that.”
“Ow, what?” he complained, rubbing the spot more for drama than anything else.
“You’re overthinking it and I hate it when you do that,” she frowned.
“Actually I was wondering how you even knew about all this in the first place,” he redirected and asked the question he’d been wondering since the party.
She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest, “I’m just that good.”
At his deadpan expression she rolled her eyes and actually explained, “Well you see love, when you disappear almost every night, it starts to get a little suspicious. At first I just thought maybe you couldn’t sleep so you went to the common room and I let it go, but then your head was just infested with wrackspurts and I know you don’t believe in them but it got me thinking. Then you told me about how you were partnered with James in Potions and the way you talk about him, whew, I mean could it be any more obvious? Since then I’ve just been noticing bits and pieces and I knew something had changed for both of you.”
She still had a kind smile gracing her features as she described the two of them, as though their joy had directly impacted hers and it made his heart swell almost painfully in his chest.
“So you’re not mad at me?” he whispered, voice lower, an undercurrent of insecurity winding through the words.
Her smirking face of achievement cracked to reveal something much softer and gentler, “Oh of course not, how could I ever?”
“Well he’s them and we’re us ,” he explained horribly.
“Sometimes I think you all forget I’m in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin. I’m an entirely neutral party here,” she laughed, “but I don’t think they would be mad either, maybe a little shocked but nothing they can’t get over.”
He sighed because he knew she was right, “I know I just- I don’t think I’m ready.”
He thought about Dorcas and Marlene and how no one had a problem with the two of them but it just felt different for him. He had gone and chosen Gryffindor’s sweetheart, the boy everyone either wanted to be or be with and of course his best friend and second-in-command, was his brother. It was the worst possible combination to choose and yet those were the cards he had been dealt.
“Then you’ll tell them when you are,” she said with a tone of finality. “Okay so I’m going to hold my fingers out and you tell me when to stop okay,” she said then held up both her index fingers. She started about an inch apart and slowly began to pull them apart.
Realisation of what she was doing dawned on him and at the same instant Rhonda, the roommate who very much hated him, walked in.
“Stop!” he shouted.
“What!” Pandora blurted, her hands almost a foot apart. Her eyes bulged as she stared at her outstretched hands before she looked at Regulus.
He smacked her back in the hands, “Oh no, not that, Merlin that’s mad, that’d actually break me if that was true.”
“Are you talking about Julian’s dick because Casey told me that-”
“Not interested Rhonda,” Regulus pointed from the floor much to her annoyance.
“Says you,” Pandora jumped up with interest and he took that as his cue to head out before finding out rather unnecessary information about poor Julian.
_____
When Slughorn finally opened the door to the classroom, it was with a rather excited glint in his eye, “Come, come,” he directed everyone to the adjoined classroom he typically reserved for experiments or potion displays.
There were two cauldrons boiling on a low centre table that seemed to be brewing the same thing as they were an identical pearly colour with swirls of steam and smoke twirling above them before dissipating into the air.
“Can anyone here identify this potion at a moment’s glance?” he asked, rolling up the sleeves of his thick brown robes.
Snape’s hand instantly shot up, along with about a dozen eye rolls, “It’s Amortentia, known for its pearly sheen and scent.”
“Ah yes Mr. Snape, and would you like to tell the class what you smell?” he grinned with raised brows.
“No,” he grumbled though his face had turned a rather unflattering shade of red and others snickered.
“Yes I imagine you’d feel that way, anyways I’d like you all to spend the rest of our time going up to the potion, recording your findings, then writing up an essay on the history and methodology of the potion,” he finished, nodding once and trotting away back to his desk.
Eagerly, everyone formed two lines.
“Smell anything yet?” Regulus sidled up to Dorcas with a smile and a sneaking eye towards Marlene.
“I might, so allow me to excuse myself while I have a breakdown,” she said quite tensely out of the side of her mouth.
“Why are you so scared, I thought we already established you’re completely whipped?”
“Well yeah but what if she doesn’t smell me and this just confirms everything. This couldn’t have come at a worse time,” she complained and as she said the words, Regulus understood her fears and felt them begin to form in himself as well as he snuck a glance at James who was laughing at something with Sirius.
He internally cursed as he realised this, slowly shuffling forward in the line closer to the potions that could determine everything for James and would only reaffirm a solid truth to him.
He tried to keep a bit of faith in James though as he remembered him talking about his infatuation with him since first year and how grateful he had been for this chance with Regulus now. He could only hope those words had held true and that his feelings had withheld the test of time.
He saw Mary MacDonald had reached the front of her line and leaned down to deeply inhale the contents of the cauldron. She straightened after a moment and listed off, “Hmm, vanilla, old books, and tea.” Lily looked rather pleased at that as her cheeks pinked and she began to twirl a stray lock of hair around her finger.
Alright, one couple down…that shouldn’t be too bad.
Well it was going well until, “Did you just say strawberries! ” a girl near-shrieked at a boy that was now looking quite terrified.
“Er- I- You use strawberry perfume I-” he stuttered dumbly.
“I’m allergic!” she shrieked and stormed out of the room and he hastily followed after her, shaking his head as he went.
Well that didn’t look too promising and Dorcas agreed as she squeezed his arm just hard enough to hurt.
If she was scared he knew he should be too because nothing scared her, she was the resident bug killer in the Slytherin dorms because everyone else would rather light a spider on fire with a spell than go near it like she could. Nothing phased her.
Finally Sirius went up and Regulus’ interest piqued as he wondered what exactly his brother would smell but it didn’t take a genius to suss out where Sirius’ interests laid and it was very clear that the amber-eyed boy next to him was one of them as Sirius maintained eye contact with him while he smelled the potion, “I’d say cinnamon, wool, and chocolate.”
Peter looked like he’d had an epiphany as his eyes widened and he slapped James on the arm who only winked at Remus who looked shocked and pleased all at once.
It was his turn at the cauldron he’d been lined up behind and Marlene’s at the others and they both leaned down at the same time to smell the still-simmering potion. While Regulus was completely unsurprised by his findings, he did look up to see Marlene who appeared gobsmacked, looking like this had been the first time she’d ever smelled anything before- a completely unfamiliar sensation.
He sat back down at his table to begin working on his essay with the rest of the time he’d been given and James appeared about 15 minutes later, right before class was about to end.
He was breathless as he sat down and asked, “So?”
“So?” Regulus replied casually.
“What did you smell?” he whispered.
The clock on the far wall chirped and just like that, class was over,
“I suppose you’ll never know.”
He packed up, spoke to Dorcas quickly, then headed out into the corridor once more.
He made it a few steps out when suddenly, he was being pulled into a broom closet, the door behind him abruptly shutting and enclosing him in darkness.
Reflexively, he pulled his wand out but there was a slight clinking and a lightbulb buzzed to life atop him to reveal it was James who had kidnapped him.
“What are you doing?” Regulus chided, slapping him on the shoulder.
“I want to know what you smelled today,” he whispered, stepping closer to Regulus in the already small room and pinning him against the door, his leg filling the space between Regulus’ legs.
“You first,” he challenged, leaning up to face the other boy.
James bent down and pressed a kiss just under his ear, “Parchment,” another kiss further down his jaw, “Eucalyptus,” then one more on his lips, “Fresh earth.”
Regulus’ sigh was rattled as James’ larger hands rubbed up and down his sides, begging for the skin that was currently burning up under his touch.
“Wonder who that was?” Regulus teased and James only huffed before biting down on Regulus' bottom lip as a form of punishment.
He was clearly hot and bothered after class today and Regulus couldn’t honestly say he wasn’t either. After their tryst in the Room of Requirement James showed him just a few days ago, they’d both been wanting for more, begging for another stolen moment together and it’d seem they found theirs.
Regulus reached down between them and began to slowly pull at James’ belt buckle and pull it free from the loops of the front of his black trousers, allowing them to hang open at the sides. He popped open the button to his trousers and unzipped his fly to reveal an already growing bulge under black pants.
James cursed and Regulus took the opportunity to spin them around so that James was leaning against the door and he was in front and it was clearly a good idea because James leaned his head back against the door and began to use it as support as Regulus pressed a hand directly over his bulge and applied pressure.
“Reg I have class,” he whispered hoarsely.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Not anymore,” he replied and Regulus peeled back his pants then to show that was the right answer.
As he rubbed James, the memory of Pandora’s interest in his size popped up and he imagined she’d still go a bit mad if she found out the true size of James and he couldn’t hold back the bubble of laughter that popped out of him.
James’ sighs quickly turned to confusion as he looked back down at Regulus, “What’s- what’s so funny,” he huffed.
Regulus leaned forward, dropping his head to James’ chest as he laughed, “I’m sorry, nothing it’s- you’re-.”
“You know, laughing when my cock is literally in your hand is not a huge confidence boost,” he whined, hips pushing forward into his hand as if to remind them of what they were doing.
While Regulus knew James absolutely had no reasons to not feel confident in his particular size, he slowly continued to work James undone until they both sank to the floor in a pile of heavy breaths and sweaty limbs.
“What am I supposed to tell McGonagall when she asks why I missed class?” James complained, kissing the top of Regulus’ hair.
“Well hopefully not the truth,” he teased and they both laughed, slowly gathering themselves and slipping out of the closet one at a time and heading in completely opposite directions.
The physical distance between them grew while their emotional connection only tightened and solidified itself between them, each interaction further bolstering them together and reaffirming their truth,
_____
Regulus didn’t necessarily have anything he had to do in Hogsmeade when their next trip came around but he decided to go nonetheless if just so he had a chance to get out of the castle for a few hours.
“Can you please try, just come for one night, you don’t have to sleep there or anything but it’d be for old times sake y’know?” Evan pleaded to Regulus.
He still had yet to sleep in the Slytherin dorms, much less even go in since that incident with Mulciber and his cronies. The only other time he’d actually truly gone in and spent more than five minutes in the dungeons was for the Halloween party and even then he’d been so sloshed he could’ve been on another planet for all that mattered.
“But the beds in Ravenclaw are far more comfortable than the ones we’ve got,” he countered, taking another spoonful of his ice cream.
“They need all that cushioning for their big brains but us Slytherins, we need our stone walls and rock hard beds or else we’ll just end up like soft slugs,” Barty informed him quite seriously and Dorcas wholeheartedly agreed.
He only snorted in response, “Yeah I’ll think about it.”
As they all remained seated on a pair of benches, he looked around at all the students milling about and in the midst of them all came a familiar figure, dressed in all black, walking through the throngs of people as though she was Death himself looking for a wayward soul to steal.
“Oh shite,” he cursed and got up, looking around for somewhere to hide before she ended up spotting him as well.
He wondered if she did this often while he was at school- went to Hogsmeade to fulfill a to-do list or just for a day out when the weather was nice. He so often thought of her as just a fixture of Grimmauld that it was hard to imagine her out and about instead of just sending an elf out to do her bidding.
There was something about the absurdity of seeing his mother here while students were milling about that had him wondering for the briefest moment of what she might have been like as a student. He could see her tight black and grey bun turn into long black plaits and her pinched face morphed into a wide-eyed and cheery one. Her crows feet from years of frowning turned into laughter-lines when she laughed with friends and her clenched hands around the bag turned into a hand wrapped around an ice cream cone from Fortescue's.
Surely she hadn’t always been this way but what was it that had changed her? Was it her marriage? The birth of him and Sirius and subsequent disappointment when they hadn’t turned out exactly how she wanted them to?
He wished he had seen her that way and maybe he’d understand who she was now, have some empathy for her but for a woman that made herself a mystery to her own family, there was no way he could unpack her now, so many years later.
His friends were clearly panicking as well so he did the first thing he could think of- slip into the bloody Quidditch Supplies shop because out of all the places she could go, even on a day as upside down as this one was, she would never go there.
As he stepped in, he heard ever familiar voices and groaned before just stepping in further to get away from the windows. He wouldn't be surprised if his mother could smell him and his chocolate ice cream from yards away like a bloodhound.
He ran into Remus quick enough as his head popped above the aisles and was at least grateful to see it was only him, Sirius, and James, with Peter nowhere to be found.
“Did you miss me?” he smirked as he leaned against a display stand, eyeing the ice cream.
“No because I know you planned your absence- Sprout literally made me repot mandrakes on my own ,” he seethed at Remus who had been absent from the greenhouses the previous Saturday.
He laughed and around his shaking shoulders, he saw James and Sirius approach. He figured he ought to start thinking of them as Sirames or Jirius considering they’re always together and he’d save about two mental seconds by doing so.
“Now this is a sight I never thought I’d see,” Sirius spoke suspiciously as he eyed the two of them and Regulus only wished he knew the truth.
“I was just asking Lupin how the weather was up there,” Regulus covered smoothly and smiled at Sirius’ annoyance going so far as to say, “I could ask you how it is down there too.”
Sirius went to shove past him but Regulus stopped him with a hand on his arm and he leaned down so only Sirius could hear, “Mum just walked by, I wouldn’t go out there if I was you.”
Sirius pulled back with a look of astonishment, “Here? Why?”
“How would I know? I was just with everyone and came into the first shop I saw to hide from her,” he admitted.
“Since when did you hide from her ?” he asked and it was a stark reminder of the time Sirius spent away, how much he had missed.
“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t,” was all Regulus replied, straightening up to look at the other two.
“What flavour did you get?” James asked suddenly.
“You’re really bad at this,” he spoke in James’ head before saying, “Chocolate.”
James visibly startled, bumping into the same display Remus was leaning on and dropping the pyramid of broom polish someone had gone through the trouble of constructing.
“How did you do that?” James asked loudly into the abyss and it was like plucking a feather from a pile of bricks, obvious and easy.
“Very smooth. Also work on your Occlumency, you’re just projecting everything.”
“Well I’m not going to hide in here until she leaves,” Sirius decided and pushed past them and out the shop and Regulus only hoped she was far enough away that their paths never crossed.
Fortunately their paths never did as she quickly hid her face and turned down Knockturn Alley to deal with proceedings that only narrowly preceded Regulus’ future, solidifying him into one where he couldn’t just run into shops or hide from anything he didn’t like- he’d be forced to live it, viscerally, every day for as long as he lived.
_______
“Your note was rather ominous,” Regulus said by way of greeting as he met James behind Honeydukes towards the end of the day as the sun set, washing the world in burnt gold and low heat. He was already sweating as he had to run all the way back up to the castle to change into something nice before coming back.
“Good because I have a surprise for you,” he grinned, bowing low to press a kiss to his lips in a familiar gesture before threading their fingers together and turning them around and away from the village.
“And why’s that?”
“Because I fear we’ve mixed it all up,” was all he said as he dragged Regulus to the street and up to a sign that signalled this as a bus stop. He pulled his wand out of his trousers and lit the end, looking around expectantly.
“You’re joking,” Regulus said to James as realisation dawned on him.
“Oh my love, when have you ever known me to just be joking,” he smirked and suddenly a large triple-decker purple bus came rolling down the street, swerving over the asphalt as though the lane markers weren’t there at all.
Once it screeched to a stop in front of them, the doors creaked open and a tall wiry man bent down low in a comical fashion, “Welcome aboard the Knight Bus, my name is Steven Shunpike, conductor of this lovely beast.”
James stepped up and offered Regulus a hand to haul himself up on the platform and once there, a small skeleton head hung up on a small mirror turned to them and warned in a gritty voice, “Better hold on to your bums and heads!” It was an odd looking thing and Regulus wanted nothing more than to chuck it out the window.
“Lovely,” he muttered before settling down next to James on a wooden desk chair towards the back and gripping the railing with one hand and James’ arm with the other. He’d heard people’s stories about this bus of terrors and was now about to have one of his own.
“Oh c’mon surely it’s not that bad,” James looked around, leaning back in his seat without a care in the world, apparently not realising it was more like a cushion on a stick than an actual bus seat.
Then suddenly without warning, the bus jerked forward and took off at a breakneck speed, so fast that James flew out of his seat and the small skull head shrieked, “Bums and heads!”
His seat apparently wasn’t bolted down either as Regulus had to hold onto it before it fell onto James as well.
When he looked out the window, he just saw flashes of lights and other cars and a cacophony of horns flew in their wake though he imagined the muggles around them didn’t spot anything more than a gust of wind or a cloud of dust. A look up at Steven showed that he was the one doing all the honking if just to add to the madness of it all.
Suddenly, the bus had a squeezing sensation and Regulus watched the opposite wall close in on him with wide eyes, nearing until it stopped and his knees were touching the wall for just a moment before the bus stretched out again.
“Tea service!” Steven announced, walking down the aisle of the bus as though they weren’t literally breaking the light and sound barrier through the muggle world. The wheel was now turning on its own and Regulus had to start sending up a prayer to Merlin and his saggy tits that he’d at least make it to the end of the day.
The tea on his tray rattled and he tripped over his feet at a sudden turn, spilling the tea all over their shoes though he just shrugged and walked back.
“Oi! we never got our tea!” James shouted, “I paid extra for that.”
“You paid extra for me to serve it and I did, not my fault you didn’t catch it!” he replied with a waved hand.
They spent the rest of the ride in tense silence, Regulus half in James’ lap at this point, afraid he’d go flying out of the open window at one wrong turn and James’ was holding him so tightly he was sure James would end up right out there with him if it did happen.
Just as fast as the bus arrived, it jolted to a stop and a look out the window showed them in some sort of overpopulated town square, “Here we are!” Shunpike announced.
He ought to punch Shunpike in the teeth but he settled on shooting him and the skull a dirty look before stepping out, hoping he never had to experience that again.
“Okay so that was not what I expected but you know what they say about new experiences,” James bumped his shoulder as he tucked his hands deep in his pockets as though almost too afraid to touch anything or anyone.
“I’m not sure I do,” Regulus replied sarcastically but he was preoccupied in taking all the sights around him.
They were dumped on a busy street corner- people were weaving past them as though they weren’t there at all and the hum of people chatting, street vendors shouting, and music wound up all around them into a cacophony of sound, and it smelled like hot food and smoke all in one. The sun was just starting to set behind the high buildings that jutted upwards like teeth biting into the bright blue sky.
He looked at all the muggles around them and saw that most of the people at the Ravenclaw’s party were dressed accurately when it came to the flared trousers and tight tops though that seemed to be the stereotype as he saw people wearing all sorts of outfits dotted in with the masses. Muggles didn’t seem to stick to a uniform sort of style like wizards did and he had to admire their individuality though he didn’t think he had it in him to be as confident as them.
He’d never been in the muggle world and he wasn’t even sure James had been until now.
“Where are we?” he asked with wonder in his voice.
“London,” James answered, equally awed, and for all it was worth, they could’ve been on an entirely different planet and Regulus would have believed him.
While he technically lived in muggle London as the Blacks were too stubborn to ever move out, he’d never actually gone out into the city- he’d never been allowed to, and he couldn’t believe that he lived anywhere near here.
Growing up, he’d always heard terrifying stories of muggles- that they had sharpened teeth and veins full of blood, that they’d kill him the minute they saw him and yet, nothing happened. This street looked like Diagon Alley a few days before the school year started when families bustled through the streets trying to make sure they bought all of their required materials.
It was another preconceived idea he had ingrained in him from his parents that he had to work around and incorporate into his mind.
“I realised that throughout all of this, we’d never been on a proper date and while I can’t quite take you anywhere out there, I didn’t want to let that stop me so I thought that we ought to come here,” he decided and Regulus had to admit that while completely mad, he was right,
He felt a bit out of place in his black robes but James looked at him with stars in his eyes and so long as he continued that, Regulus found he didn’t quite mind what others thought.
James led him along the bustling street and Regulus tried not to ogle at others too hard as they barely spared him a second glance, much too busy on their small devices or just generally uninterested in any niceties.
James eventually pulled him into a restaurant at the end of the block and it had an interesting vibe- minimalist in furniture and structure but maximalist in that there were lights strung from the ceiling like small fairies hung all around them, there were frames full of still pictures of smiling people hung askew on the walls next to newspaper clippings, and random signs and posters were plastered everywhere. He didn’t know what to focus on so he just looked everywhere.
“How’d you find this place?” He marvelled as a server led them to a small table in the back corner of the restaurant, only adding to the privacy and coverage the muggle world naturally provided them. It was like an extra security blanket that Regulus was grateful for.
“Lily made us all come out here for her birthday last summer. Trust me, I was as confused as you are but I remembered this place and thought it might be nice to come back and make it ours. They have Mexican food ,” James pointed out as he perused a menu.
Regulus looked down at his menu, wishing desperately he could use his wand to cast a Lumos because of how dark it was in there but he decided on chicken fajitas while James wanted to try out the shrimp tacos with the ‘ghost pepper salsa.’
After they ordered, there was a moment's pause as they stared at each other, the chatter of patrons and twiny music slowly disappearing to a barely audible hum in the face of a bright-eyed and excited James. He was wearing a simple red jumper, blue denims, and his characteristic red trainers but to Regulus, it could have been an expensive set of robes for how well they suited him.
He was the exact opposite of Regulus but somehow they both managed to fit each other in the other’s lives, meshing and sewing their tapestries together as one.
“Have you ever had Mexican food?” James asked.
“Of course not but it looks good enough. I’m a bit worried for you though, the ‘ghost pepper’ sounds like it might be a bit spicy,” Regulus warned.
“My spice tolerance is super high, I can easily handle it,” James scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.
______
“I’m really terribly sorry, he’s not very good with spice, could we have some more water or milk perhaps,” Regulus asked the poor waiter who probably had emergency services waiting on the phone for how James was coughing and sweating across from him.
Once he left, Regulus went straight to chastising him, “I told you it’d be spicy.”
“Well yeah but I didn’t think it’d be that bad-” James choked out, wiping at his face with a napkin and hurriedly drinking the glass of milk the waiter placed in front of them.
“So much for our romantic date,” Regulus rolled his eyes but he really did feel bad for James who was just beginning to calm down.
James frowned, “I had a good time, just before the salsa bit.”
He reached across the table to grasp Regulus’ hand, “I really am happy you came. I just- you deserved more than broom closets and secret meetings at midnight.”
“But not more than the Knight Bus?” he teased and James kicked him in the foot,
“It was the only way I could get us out of there!” he retorted.
“Well either way I’m happy so long as you are there,” Regulus admitted then at the look on James’ face, “And it was jasmine, the forest, and broompolish," he answered James' earlier question.
James replying smile was one for the books and he desperately wished he had a camera so that he could have captured the moment .
"Alright that’s enough of that, don’t ever tell anyone I said that.”
His laugh rang through the room and Regulus knew he’d never tire of the sound.
“Also that mindspeak you did earlier, what was that and how did you do it? It would be so helpful during exams or while planning pranks,” James said with wide eyes as though realising the possibilities were quite literally endless.
“It’s sort of an extension of Legilimency. Have you worked on your mental walls any more from the first time we tried?” Regulus asked.
James shrugged, “I mean I think so.”
“Here, focus on a memory you don’t want me to see, nothing serious but try to protect it and we’ll try right here,” he said in a low voice before pulling his wand out and casting a Notice-me-Not and whispering “ Legilimens! ”
He was greeted with the lovely image of himself writhing under James’ touch and he pulled out of his mind immediately, “Potter,” he chided.
All he offered was a sheepish grin and a mischievous glint in his eye.
______
“Where have you been?” Sirius jumped up at the sound of the portrait hole creaking open.
Of course he should’ve expected Sirius to stay up waiting for him and where Sirius goes, so do Remus and Peter.
“What are you all still doing up?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably, desperately hoping his collar was covering the purple bruises Regulus had left along his neck about thirty minutes before he walked in.
“Waiting for you! You weren’t even on the map and you said you were right behind us when we were coming up to the castle,” Sirius countered and Peter just nodded emphatically.
Remus was laying across the sofa with a book in his lap and he just shrugged as if to say ‘I tried to calm him down but he wasn’t listening to me.’
They were all in their pyjamas and it served to reemphasize how late it was and all of his earlier giddyness from his date slowly seeped out of him, leaving him cold and shaky from aftershocks.
“I know but then I got sidetracked by the Three Broomsticks by the Hufflepuff quidditch team then we stayed to have dinner and I didn’t even realise the time,” James rattled off, not quite sure what else he could’ve said.
Everyone else was either paired off or already back at the castle- it was impossible to use someone else as a reliable cover so he decided blaming an entire group from another house was a more plausible explanation. It was really just a lesser of two evils in this situation.
Sirius was clearly not pleased, “The Hufflepuff team? What are you talking about?”
The fire in the hearth had died down and they were the only group in the common room but it felt like he was being put under a magnifying glass for how scrutinising Sirius’ grey eyes on him were.
“Pads, he’s back, who cares?” Remus pointed out.
“I care because he’s lying to me,” Sirius shot back, looking now more hurt than before and it shot at James.
“Sirius- '' he began but Sirius didn’t give him a chance to finish whatever he was going to say because he just ran up the stairs to the dorms and left. Peter nodded at him sympathetically and followed behind him, leaving behind only him and Remus.
“You really need to start taking the map with you when you go out, it’s hard to hide it from Sirius once he remembers it,” Remus casually says, going back to his book and flipping the page.
“I- what?” James startled, looking at the dying embers in the fireplace, the frayed edges of the maroon rug, anything except Remus’ all-too seeing golden eyes.
“When you go out with Regulus.”
The six words fell in the air like a guillotine and James froze- it wasn’t often that he was scared or at a loss for words but at the moment, he was both.
He hadn’t even guessed anyone knew but Remus of all people…it made perfect sense and no sense at the same time.
“Regulus- I don’t even-.”
“Prongs,” he deadpanned, “I don’t care, really, I’m friends with him too you know?”
Now that was news to him, “You’re friends with him? Like actually?” he couldn’t keep the shock from his voice.
“Mhm, I see him all the time,” he nodded, “He even gave me this book for Christmas.”
“Christmas?” he couldn’t even process how long they could have possibly been friends.
He shut the book closed and stood up, “Next time, check your neck in a mirror before coming in, you look like you’ve been mauled.”
He reached a hand down and hauled James up from the sofa to take them up.
“Moony I- please-” he begged, not quite sure what he was pleading for yet but the fact that someone else knew was enough to make his heart race as though it was a reminder of the already tentative game they were playing. Though he supposed if anyone were to find out, it was best that it was Remus who clearly already displayed his ability to keep secrets- long term.
Remus rested a warm hand on his shoulder, “I won’t say a word, I promise. I see how you are with him and that’s more than enough for me.”
“But you never said anything? That it was Regulus…that he was a-“ James continued, wringing his hands
“I figured you’d tell me when you were ready,” he smiled, the scars around his mouth lifting too. “I imagine I don’t have to tell you that I feel the same about-“ he finished with a lift of his brows and a tilt of the head.
James shook his head ‘no.’
“Now c’mon, tomorrow’s a full remember?”
Of course he did, he had it memorised perfectly by now, in fact he had the entire year recorded, just so he’d be prepared every single time because that’s what friends did for each other.
The one thing they didn’t do to each other was lie and that is exactly what James was doing to Sirius now and while it ate at him…it was impossible to resist Regulus, it was only inevitable that their paths would cross and lead them here to this moment.
Perhaps that made him a horrible friend- to know that this would hurt Sirius and knowingly continue to do it. Maybe his fears about Sirius, all his friends, leaving him would be true but he knew what he was getting into the moment he looked into Regulus’ blazing eyes in the Great Hall, McGonagall in the background telling them about this plan of hers to stick them together
He had known he was goner then and now those feelings for Regulus only intensified, solidified some of his ideas about the boy and upturned others. He was a puzzle that James was slowly assembling together, a painstaking process but one he was complete…James couldn’t even fathom what it’d be like
If they were meant to be then this time of contention was too and they’d move past it in time but for now he savoured this crystalline moment in time where it was just the two of them, together.