Chapter 12
Draco awoke on the morning of Harry’s birthday to Remus knocking, saying that it was breakfast. Draco was pleasantly surprised to realise that he got the morning off of work alongside Harry, and pulled a sweater on over his pyjama shorts before following Remus over the lawn bare foot, feeling the morning dew cling to his skin, refreshingly cool.
Breakfast was a full English, with added scones and cream and jam which Draco reached for first. Harry and Sirius were not in the room yet but Remus said he could eat and so he did. Halfway through his second scone Harry shuffled in, clearly having just woken up. His glasses were on crooked, and his hair stuck up on one side, and he looked so human in that moment that Draco’s stomach tightened.
Sirius followed soon after, holding a camera and taking a photo of Harry staring sleepily at his sausages. The feeling of being privy to a family moment he wasn’t part of returned, but Remus, Sirius and even sometimes Harry made an effort to draw him into their conversations about Harry’s other birthdays, how it felt to be twenty and officially a ‘man’, and the impending party of the evening.
Sirius said he was going into the village to do a food shop for later and invited Draco, which Draco leapt at, and soon he found himself properly dressed and sat next to Sirius in the car as they drove the beautiful route to Hogsmeade.
He spent a long time steeling himself to ask for advice, not talking much as nerves overwhelmed him, but was saved from having to broach the subject by Sirius turning his head slightly towards Draco and saying “are you going to dither all day or are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“How did you deal with being gay?” Draco blurted out, immediately blushing in embarrassment because that was very much not how he intended to ask about it.
“Ah. The Black family guilt getting to you?” Sirius asked and Draco nodded.
“I call it that because it’s like catholic guilt but unique to our family” Sirius said, before turning down a side road and parking the car as Draco laughed a little at Sirius’ analogy, some of the tension draining from him.
“I don’t know, I just. The more I see you and Remus being happy the more I realise how much I hated - and still hate I guess- that part of me and I just-“ Draco took a deep breath.
“I just want to know how you do it.” He said, looking up at Sirius, who’s grey eyes were warm and welcoming.
“It was hard. And it took a lot of time, and a lot of shame, and guilt. This is going to sound like a cop out answer because it can’t help you much but honestly, it was Remus.” Sirius said, and Draco nodded, both because he understood and because Sirius was right, it was a cop out answer.
“I don’t think I would have made an effort to embrace it if I didn’t love Remus as much as I do. I had one boyfriend before him, who really wanted us to be ‘out and proud’ as it were, but the fear overwhelmed me and I couldn’t, but with Remus, it was like I loved him too much it would be a crime not to let the world know. And so I did. Any fear I felt was far eclipsed by the love I feel for Remus.” Sirius went on to explain.
“I guess I need to find a Remus then,” Draco said, and Sirius chuckled.
“Uni will help a lot. Especially with your generation. Even though it was still somewhat un-accepted when I was your age, uni allowed me into that world through bars and clubs and societies. It was incredibly eye opening.” Sirius said, which was more helpful, because uni was within Draco’s grasp now. York had offered him a conditional place requiring three A’s at a-level, and Draco was confident he would achieve those grades.
It was coming ever closer on the horizon, and Draco had never felt more excited for anything in his life.
“Yea. I’m really, really excited for uni” Draco said, and Sirius grinned at him.
“Always use protection, my boy” he said, and Draco was so overwhelmed at being called ‘my boy’ like Sirius sometimes called Harry he couldn’t even be embarrassed. He blushed at the affection, though Sirius likely mistook it for embarrassment and taking pity, pulled back onto the road and drove the rest of the way to the village.
Cheeks burning, Draco followed Sirius silently around the supermarket as various bits and bobs were deliberated over and selected, and Sirius kept glancing over and chuckling at him. Sirius bought them donuts to eat on the way home in place of lunch, and Draco felt like a little kid being treated by his dad. He hadn't expected he would find it so hard to be shown what his father could have been but never was. He tried to squash the feeling down for another time, as he desperately didn’t want to ruin Harry’s birthday by being inexplicably sad the whole time.
By the time they arrived home, Ron, Hermione and Harry were off somewhere on the farm as was tradition. Remus referred to it as ‘gallivanting’ which made Draco chuckle. Draco then helped Remus set everything up. The two of them took the table and benches outside as Sirius watched and shouted nonsensical instructions that made everyone laugh, and Draco felt like part of their family, rather than an outsider.
God, he had thought this summer would be boring and drudgery, and instead it had turned into a rollercoaster of emotional self discovery. He felt so free this far away from his father, and this close to love, and in those hours as he, Remus and Sirius set up for Harry’s birthday, he laughed harder than he had in his entire life. By the time the other three returned, his cheeks ached from smiling and the lanterns were back in the garden, and the table was adorned with cakes that Ron had brought with him, as well as the chipped mugs and jars of cider- which Draco and Sirius may or may not have had a little drinky from over the course of the afternoon- and in the late afternoon orange glow of the sun the garden looked fit to host a wedding.
Draco then wandered over to visit Hugo, who was looking much bigger and healthier now that he was in the barn with some of the other more fragile sheep- mainly first time mothers. He sat with Hugo for a bit, revelling in watching him stumble about on his skinny legs.
Soon, everyone else had arrived and the evening passed in a blur of contentment. To his surprise, given it was her best friend's birthday, Hermione still spent most of the evening by his side. This had the added effect of drawing Ron to him, which in turn drew Harry to him and all animosity seemed to have been dropped for the evening, and Draco almost felt like one of them. Harry laughed at his jokes and included him, looking at him with those stunning green eyes slightly glazed from cider consumption.
As the night dragged on, Ron and Hermione got closer and closer together, leaving Draco and Harry more and more to their own devices, and Draco realised that when Harry wasn’t hating him, they actually had a lot in common. Harry had a dry humour that perfectly matched Draco’s bitchy, scathing one, and Harry asked questions about Draco’s school and his plans for uni that actually made Draco feel like he cared. Harry even made a comment about them being birthday-buddies as they shared a birthday month, and it was cringy, and testament to how much harry had drank but made Draco blush and go a bit tingly. Having Harry compare himself to Draco like that was a bit too much for Draco’s drunk little mind.
The night remained warm in the end-of-july heat, and it wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that people started talking about making their way home. The Granger’s wrapped up in warm, thick fleeces that they had brought with them and walked home at a leisurely, slightly drunk pace and the Weasley’s were driven home by Percy, who had booked a train back to work for early the next morning and so wasn’t drinking.
Soon enough, only the four of them were left, and Remus bought out blankets and they stayed up talking until the time Remus and Harry would typically get up in the morning. As the sun started to peek over the horizon, they returned to their respective rooms, Remus taking a flask of coffee and saying he wouldn’t sleep, but do his duties at their normal time whilst everyone else slept in, then take his rest during the afternoon. Draco fell asleep wishing everyday could be like that one, and wondering if Harry felt the same, or if the wall between them would come crashing back down in the cold light of the next day.
The next morning-or really, it was afternoon, Draco trudged into the kitchen to find three equally bleary-eyed hungover faces, and they all ate a great greasy full english that made Draco feel marginally more alive.
“Andi’s coming in three days” Sirius said, his voice raspy.
“Shit, really?” Draco asked, too hungover to try not to swear in front of the adults as had been instilled in him since birth. Sirius nodded, before grimacing when the act made his head ache.
“I don’t know whether to be excited or scared.” Draco said before shovelling scrambled eggs into his mouth.
“Both, I s’pose. I would be” Remus chimed in, sliding even more eggs onto Draco’s plate, which he accepted gratefully. Once everyone had eaten, Sirius stretched and groaned, before he announced he was going back to bed. “Good idea” Draco replied, returning to the cottage and sleeping until dinner.
The next few days pass in a blur of exhilaration and anticipation, and Draco and Sirius spent a lot of time together, mostly in the afternoons after Draco’s riding lessons, talking and talking about Andi and what she would be like and what they should cook for her. After much back and forth, they settled on a light summer meal; caprese salad followed by a prawn linguine. Remus offered to cook, which seemed to lift a weight off of Sirius’ shoulders.
The riding lessons were a nice reprieve from constantly thinking about meeting his estranged aunt for the first time. Much to his surprise, Harry didn’t go back to being a bit indifferent, but remained warm towards Draco. It wasn't a full friendship yet, not like what he had with Hermione, but Harry was asking more questions about Draco than Draco knew the answer to in his quest to get to know him, and the change in Harry’s demeanour nearly gave Draco whiplash, but it was also really, really nice. The lessons were fun and relaxing and Draco was really starting to love horse riding. Harry praised him as a fast learner which did finny things to Draco’s insides.
Eventually, the day of Andromeda’s dinner dawned. Draco was awake and full of fluttering nerves a whole hour before Harry came to get him for cow milking, making him so tired he could barely walk when it was time for breakfast. Sirius noticed and ordered Draco back to the cottage for a nap and promised to wake him two hours before Andromeda’s ominous five pm arrival.
Draco felt a thousand times more relaxed when he woke up from his sleep, but entering the farm house and seeing Sirius directing Harry on cleaning it until it was spotless brought a lot of the nerves back. To distract himself, Draco jumped into the cleaning and cooking and general preparation, which worked until Remus started cooking in earnest. Draco could feel himself sweating. Sirius was half a bottle of wine down already in an attempt to quell his nerves, despite the disapproving looks Remus kept giving him, and Draco was tempted to copy him. Before he got to do so, though, there was a knock on the door.
“Oh god, oh fuck, oh god. Remus, love, please answer the door. I can’t bring myself to” Sirius said, pouring yet another glass of wine. Remus whisked the glass out of his grip as he walked past, and Sirius scowled at his back before the door opened and a distinctly feminine “Hello! You must be Remus, I’m Andromeda. I’ve heard so much about you” could be heard from the doorway.
Draco watched Sirius stiffen and rearrange the cutlery laid out on the table for the seventieth time before Remus and his aunt walked into the room. His first thought was that they had the wrong woman and his near-insane aunt Bella had come instead, but then the woman smiled and it was full of warmth and sunshine and Draco knew that this woman was worlds away from his aunt Bella. He stood awkwardly and walked over to her.
“I’m Draco. It’s lovely to meet you, aunt.” he stuck his hand out for her to shake but she bypassed it completely and pulled him into a motherly hug. His tense muscles melted as she wrapped her arms around his middle, being quite a bit shorter than him, and she smelt of sandalwood and citrus and Draco knew he liked her immediately.
Sirius introduced himself from the table, waving his cane to explain why he wasn’t standing up, and then Harry greeted her and they all sat down. The dinner passed without a hitch. Remus subtly prevented Sirius from drinking much more by constantly ‘mistaking’ Sirius’ glass for his own, which made Draco grin into his pasta, and Andi was a thoroughly lovely woman.
It was clear she had been raised like them, as the three of them ate with near-impeccable manners whereas Harry and Remus would occasionally prop their elbows on the table, or talk with food in their mouths, or reach over someone to get to something. Those habits had been beaten out of Draco, Sirius and Andromeda before the age of five. Andromeda and Sirius talked a lot about their childhood, and the memories of time they had spent together, and Andi was full of stories about his mother growing up, which was much nicer than Draco expected it to be.
After they had finished, Draco and Harry silently cleared the table and they stayed chatting for a few more hours, before Andromeda checked her phone and exclaimed that she had to get home for her daughter. She lived in Sheffield, and it was a strange but welcomed coincidence that Andi and Sirius had both left London for yorkshire.
“It’s God's own country” Andromeda said, smiling when Draco commented on it. “It’s as far away from London as I was willing to go, and it's very far away from London.”
That was enough explanation. Draco and Sirius nodded and Draco noted that Harry and Remus looked a bit uncomfortable, likely at their knowledge of what was going unsaid; the abuse and pain that London represented.
Andromeda then left, with Draco and Remus seeing her to her car. Draco then returned to the cottage and fell asleep feeling happy and sated. That the family he had found here had just expanded by one wonderful woman was one of the loveliest things Draco had ever experienced.