snapes bedchamber
chapter five: snapes chamber
harry was amazed by his new office. "wow" he marvelled "im amazed"
snape was right behind him. he had never actually been in dumbledores office before. it smelled like weed.
"here is where the old fool toiled for hours on end doing important president business." he explained "of course you wont need to worry about any of that harry. ive got everything covered."
"well gee thanks mister snape" whizzed harry "i really appreciate it!"
after that there was some awkward pause. snape looked around. the room was filled with dumbledores old knick knacks and shit. snape could sell all of this for a fuckton of dough.
he began taking an appraisal. the desk alone was worth millions. hopefully harry wouldnt mind working without a desk. he could work on the floor honestly. he could sleep on the floor too. would deserve it for being such a little prick all these years. the whole office could be emptied out and snape could finally get his kids into a good college. hed sell the whole hogwarts if he were president. thats why he was developing plans. his plan b was the kill harry. he was still thinking about what his plan a might be.
"hey so uh" began snape "sorry for killing ron and hermione and presumably also neville"
"thats okay mister snape" forgave harry "they deserved to be ejaculated"
Come on, now. That wasn't even remotely funny.
uh anyways where was i. oh yes. "so uh you ever listen to ska" inquired mister snap?
"oh boy do i" enthusiastically harry. "i love ska so much. it sounds so good on my eardrums" in reality harry had no fucking idea what ska was
"well ska" explained snaoe "is a band invented in the 1980s by emo goths. we must destroy them."
"delicious!" shouted harry. "what if we get those guys going to mordoer to kill ska for us?"
"thats too efficiant. we must be sneeky. we will use the murder operation as a distaction to cover our traks"
"wow snape you sure are good at evil plans" squeaked harry.
"yep" nodded snarp
snape considering moving killing harry to plan a.
meenwhile john was very surprised to learn voldemort was his dad