Bad Romance

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CHAPTER 1 : Prologue I

Waking up for the first time after who-knows-how long feels… Odd.

He— He..? Looks at his hands, they’re small and soft. He’s short, he doesn’t know where he is or what’s happening, but he does remember that he should not be here. He shouldn’t be anywhere right now…

Osamu, Osamu Dazai…. That was his name.

Oh.

. . .

He died, yep, he gets it now.. The universe decided to punish him once again, this time, through the form of reincarnation. He remembers dying very well, he remembers the feeling of the rope suffocating his neck, stopping the air from coming through. He remembers feeling the life slip through his fingers, and he didn’t fight back much.

Is this some sort of divine punishment? He wanted to die. He committed suicide and then he’s reincarnated somewhere else.. As someone else, most likely.

How old is he?

He can barely sit up properly, and he can very well tell he’s a baby.. Probably less than a year old, oh wow. How fun, he can’t even kill himself again because he’s way too young to do so. How fucking awesome…

He’s in a crib.

Dazai didn’t know what he should do now.. Wait until he’s old enough to be left alone and then slit his own throat with a kitchen knife? That was probably his best option other than being ultimately careless with everything and refusing to care about his own safety.

That’s it then? He’ll just… Wait..

…He guesses that’s all.

He’s in a crib right now, entertaining himself will be hard.

Judging by the view of the sky in the window, it’s almost morning.. Wait that means he has parents right? Alive, breathing parents. Are they… Are they good people..? Probably not, he wouldn’t be reincarnated into the baby of two good people, as this is probably some kind of hell after death. So if it was, then he should be reincarnated into bad parents…

…He hears noises.

Someone is walking up the stairs, the door is opened and the first person Dazai sees is a beautiful woman.. She seems to be around her 20s, with bright, long burning red hair and beautiful, expressive green eyes.. She’s wearing some casual clothing, probably used to sleep in.. And smiles softly at looking at him.

“Morning, Harriet!! Already awake and hasn’t started crying yet? Aren’t you hungry, girl?” The woman said, scooping him— Probably not “him” anymore, she called him Harriet, which is a girl’s name. Which meant he was reincarnated as a girl… Not too bad, he can deal with being one, especially since he’s starting from the beginning— her in her own arms…

Dazai (Just because her new name is Harriet does not mean Dazai will let go of his- Her past name.. She’ll just get used to being referred to as a female, no name changes.) got a closer look at the woman’s face, now being in her arms…

She had soft, and yet subtly sharp features.. Her eyes really were expressive and a bright, beautiful shade of green.

“Bah..” She tried making a noise, saying something.. But all that came out were baby babbles.

“Are you hungry? Let’s get you something to eat, I expected you to have been more hungry and called by now” The woman said and started walking…

She walked out of the room and down a few stairs, before arriving at a clean and kind-of-fancy kitchen.. The living room a little after the kitchen. Placing Dazai on a baby-chair in the counter, the woman took some things out of the cabinets and started making what Dazai expected to be baby food, of course.

So that was her mother.. Did she have a dad? Because Dazai can’t see anything really wrong with her new mom, she was being affectionate and feeding her.

Nothing wrong.

After a few minutes, the woman came back with baby food.. Dazai didn’t complain as she was being fed, not making a noise. Just taking in the food normally.. It wasn’t tasty, not really, but it wasn’t exactly bad either and she could deal with that…

“Your Papa will probably wake up in a bit, it’s weekend so he doesn’t really have much to do.” The woman said, her mind absent as she fed Dazai..

Heavier steps were heard walking down the stairs, Dazai tried to look back but only managed to look to the side.

Soon, a taller man came in front of her line of sight. The man had dark, very messy hair and hazel eyes.. He had a more muscular build than her mother, even though he was not that much taller.. He was wearing casual clothing too, nothing fancy..

The man kissed his mother’s cheek, saying a brief “Good morning” before turning to Dazai.. Whose little mouth was still a little dirty of the baby food. The man, her father, scooped her up in his arms and spun around.. Causing her mother to give a half-scolding half-laugh. Her father seemed happy, very happy to be seeing her. And once he stopped spinning around with Dazai in his arms, putting her back in the baby chair, he patted her head softly and laughed.

“Sirius is coming in a short while for now, said he has a gift for Harriet!” Her father said, sitting down at the counter chair as her mother placed a hand on her hip. “It better not be any of the prankster things he said he’d eventually get, I don’t want Harriet playing around with any of that.” Her mother huffed, but couldn’t hide a small smile. “But otherwise he’s welcome to come, Harriet has probably been quite bored. Since you have work and I have to study, even while taking care of her.”

Sirius… Is that her…. Uncle? Godfather? Some relative..?

Probably.

“Alright, alright, lily-flower. But when she’s older we won’t stop her from sneakily stealing some of our prank material~” James retorted in a teasing tone. “Moony also said he might come tomorrow, since today he’s busy.”

“Alright, then. Is Sirius coming tomorrow too? What about Peter? If all of them are coming I’ll make something special for dinner tomorrow, it’s good once in a while.” Lily. That’s her mother’s name right? Yes… Probably.

Eventually, Dazai decided to tune out the conversation to think.. But still paying half-attention to it in case any more names come up.

Lily is her mother’s name.. And by now, she’s good… She’s nice..

James is his father’s name? Probably, her mom called him that.

Why… Why is she here. Why did she get reincarnated as “Harriet”.. Did this couple do anything? Did they deserve to have her as their child, probably not, they seemed too nice. Too kind. Dazai would only ruin it.. She would only ruin everything this family is by being…

Her.

Really, if this was to punish than the universe should’ve reincarnated her anywhere else. Into an abusive family perhaps.. Hell it’d probably be easier for him then, since he’s already accustomed to it. Being reincarnated into a happy family is gonna be weird. She doesn’t know how be “Happy” and fit in with the family vibe…

This is gonna be odd…

. . .

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Lily trying to her attention.. Once Dazai’s eyes looked at lily again, she noticed her mom seemed… Worried?

“Harriet?” Her mom said, before turning to her father once again.. “She seems a little quiet, she would’ve wanted a toy or being scooped up by now..”

Oh. She isn’t acting like a baby…

She’s… Probably gonna have to be childish, really, and not get lost in her own thoughts that often…

Dazai turned to her father, who was saying something to Lily. Dazai didn’t hear what because she was tuning it out, she raised her arms in his direction, carefully trying to move her fingers.. “Baah, ah”

Is this how a baby asks to be carried?

James’ face lit up as he scooped her up in his arms and started spinning again.

Dazai let out a noise dangerously similar to a laugh, waving her arms a little as her father spinned her in his arms before raising her higher..

Dazai could see the house a bit better from here, it was a pretty house.

“James!” Lily laughed, taking Dazai from her father’s arms.. Her father laughed back.. “Well I guess problem solved.

This might not be so bad.. Dazai can wait until she’s old enough to kill herself.

For now… She’ll just pay attention, which is really all she can do for entertainment…

And her parents…

They seem… Nice.

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Dazai quickly learned that her godfather, “Padfoot” or “Sirius”, was a very funny man.

The man had gifted her with a small toy-broom.. Did he expect a baby to clean with it? Well, Dazai is a girl so maybe she’s supposed to play housewife.. Uh…

“Let me show you how to do it, here” James said, picking Dazai up and placing her sitting in the broom, Dazai made a sound at that.. Sitting in a broom? Like the Tv show witches?? James then smiled at her lifted her up with her sitting in the broom…

Then he let go.

And the broom… Stayed in the air… With her.

. . .

It felt… Nice..

Dazai made her baby body lean a bit forward and the broom moved forward.. She could control the direction it went to, she could feel the feeling of the slight breeze through her baby, short hair and skin.. It was… Fun..

This… This might not be so bad at all…

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Chuuya didn’t know how to feel. Really.

He was… Alive? Yes, definitely alive.

In the body of a… A baby, an infant…

He was on a small couch in the living room of a house, the house looked fairly simple.. A little unorganized, a few toys here and therem, and two other identical boys, around three years old both, playing with them on the ground.. Another boy, probably four, was also there, trying to help but being a little too clumsy.

Another older boy, around 9, was helping a woman (who seemed to be pregnant) in the kitchen.. And a man was sitting on the table, reading some kind of news article…

…What…….

Did he get… Reincarnated? Is this a fucking joke??

He used corruption. Dazai died, and he ended up using corruption. And Dazai was dead, DEAD. So Chuuya died too, Chuuya died right after Dazai did. And now he’s here?? Is this a damn joke? This can’t fucking be serious…

. . .

Reincarnation… Hah… Dammit.

Chuuya really can’t deal with living again. He can’t deal with anything right now, he can’t fucking deal with this.. Dazai killed himself, and Chuuya should’ve died too. And he did. He just didn’t stay dead.. But staying dead was much easier than starting a new life with memories of the old one. Very painful, fresh memories of the old one…

He could cry now in pure frustration… But he’s a grown man, or well, he was a grown man before, turned 18 before dying. Really, he can’t just… Cry over this..

…

Trying to shuffle off the couch, Chuuya thought to himself… Could he already walk? Probably not, he isn’t even 1 yet, probably… But he’ll try anyway. He doesn’t care, he’ll force himself to drag his baby body across the floor. He isn’t gonna stay on the damn couch…

Shuffling off the couch and almost hitting the ground, Chuuya managed to make exactly 3 steps before the ginger-haired woman from before rushed to him…

“Ginny!!!! You’re walking!! Oh, already walking so young.. Good girl!!” The woman smiled.. The other two younger boys following her as she scooped Chuuya up in her arms, Chuuya would’ve snarled normally.. But it felt… Warm.. “Arthur!! Ginny is already walking, can you believe it? She was just learning how to crawl!!” “Really??” “Arthur” the man who was sitting in the table reading, rushed to stand up and come over..

…Huh.

He’s– He’s a girl? Uh… Alright, she then.. Weird.

Chuuya used her baby teeth to bite the woman holding her.. Shuffling a bit in her arms.

Was the woman her mother? The man her father..? Chuuya… Chuuya isn ‘t used to this family stuff, she didn’t remember her previous family, really, so.. This, this is odd. She doesn’t know how to act, but she doesn’t really need to… Yet. She’s still a baby for now..

Is this… Is this just gonna be her life now? She’s gonna just relieve a new life? After everything?

She… She can’t. She fucking can’t. Not after everything she’s experienced, everything she’s done, everyone she’s lost, and everyone who hurt her. She can’t be a normal human being with a normal life, not anymore.. Not after all the bullshit that happened in her previous life. Does the universe just expect her to forget everything? She fucking can’t. And won’t.

She can’t forget anything… Especially… Ugh.. Especially Dazai…

The man was the reason she ended up dying anyways.. And… And she won’t really blame him, Chuuya expected the mackerel to break someday, and finally do it. She just had hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.. She just had hoped she could detach from him before then.

But it was so sudden… It felt like a betrayal and a loss.

…This is bullshit. She wants to sleep and never wake up. Death should’ve been a quiet thing, not a whole new life with whole new problems.

Fuck…

New life… Damnit.