Chapter 26
“Has anyone seen my wand?” Sirius asked, turning over the clutter that had accumulated near his bed. His duvet was on the floor; James had pulled it right off of him that morning before jumping onto his bed and giving him several sloppy kisses to the top of his head. They all wished him a happy ‘actual’ birthday, though most of the festivities had already taken place on Halloween day
“I’ll help you look, Pads,” Remus chimed in. Then to James and Peter he said, “We’ll meet you two at breakfast.”
“Why don’t you just summon it?” Peter said, ignoring Remus. “Accio Sirius’ wand.”
A hollow thump came from the direction on Remus’ trunk and Sirius eyed him curiously. “Why is my wand in your trunk, Moony?”
Remus sent James a silent, pleading look then one of relief when he finally slipped on his shoes and pulled Peter down the stairs. “Come on, Pete,” he said, “I’m starving.”
Sirius watched the two of them go but turned his sights back on Remus once they were gone. Remus sighed, “Don’t be mad,” he told Sirius.
“Why would I be mad? Did you do something to my wand?”
“Erm, it’s better if I just show you,” Remus said. He unlatched his trunk and retrieved Sirius’ wand from where he had stashed it the night before, after the other three Marauders had fallen asleep for the night. “I got the idea from you, actually, from the cigarette case you gave me.”
Sirius stretched his neck out to see, but Remus was covering the hilt and most of the wand with his wide hands. “Moony?”
“I know I should have asked.” His shoulders were slumped. He was standing too far, still standing in front of his open trunk, and Sirius took a few steps closer to him.
“Can I?” He held his hands out.
Remus took a deep breath, “Please don’t be mad,” he said again and passed the wand over. His eyes were pinched shut as Sirius examined the new additions to his wand. Remus had engraved runes along the length of the wood. They were concentrated around the hilt and faded out the closer you got to the tip. There were runes for accuracy, for protection, all kinds of things that would help him in battles, but his eyes quickly zoned in on his favorite.
“I don’t know what this one means,” Remus brushed the tip of his finger against the side of the staff where Sirius’ eyes had focused. “I couldn’t find it in the book, but I noticed you’ve been drawing it on your wrist.”
Sirius knew what it meant. He had inked it on his skin every day since he had gone to Professor Dromgoole’s office to ask her how to write it. He didn’t tell Remus what it meant, just smiled at him. “Moony, this is stunning. I love it so much.”
While he was proud that the wand with the phoenix feather core had chosen him— it had been the only phoenix feather core wand that Ollivander had in stock on the day Kreature took his 11-year-old self to Diagon Alley to get his first wand—he always felt like the sleek dark wood was too plain for him.
“Really?” Remus didn’t look so sure of himself. He sat on the edge of his bed and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. Sirius sat down next to him. “You can tell me if you hate it. I can buy you a new one.”
“No,” Sirius said quickly, and not just because his wand had been expensive, and he knew Remus didn’t have enough money to buy him a new one. “I love it, really.” Remus was looking down at his hands and all sorts of desires were running through Sirius’ head. Without thinking, Sirius leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on the apple of his cheek.
Remus breathed a laugh. “You really like it?” he asked and smiled when Sirius nodded his head.
“Yes. It feels very…me. Thank you.” They were sitting close enough, so Sirius knocked the side of his head against Remus’ in a light tap and kept it there.
“I thought so too,” Remus said. “You are a bit of a swot when it comes to Runes.”
“That’s rich coming from the biggest swot there is,” Sirius teased back.
Remus pursed his lips, hiding the smile that threatened to take over his face. Then said, “We better head to breakfast before we miss it.”
Sirius’ mood plummeted when they reached the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. All of their friends were already sitting, with dejected faces and plates of breakfast foods sitting untouched in front of them. The morning edition of the Daily Prophet was being passed around.
“What’s going on?” Remus asked.
Lily handed him the paper. “Shite,” he muttered as he read the headline. Sirius stole a look over his shoulder.
DEATHEATER ATTACK IN MUGGLE LONDON
“Merlin, that’s horrible,” he muttered. He didn’t have enough time to read the entire article before someone was pulling it out of Remus’ hands. The two of them sat down at the table, but neither bothered to serve themselves any breakfast, they knew they wouldn’t be able to eat anything.
“Are you okay, Mary?” He heard Marlene ask and looked over to the two of them where Mary had her hand down on her arms that were crossed on top of the table. She nodded but did not lift her head.
Was that Mary’s family in the paper? The thought sent a pang through his chest. “Were they—” Sirius started to ask but Lily just shook her head.
“No, it was the family of a muggleborn witch, though,” she whispered to him. “It could have been her family. It could have been mine or Remus’ mum.”
“Right.” Sirius looked down at the swirl of wood grain under his fingernails, until James pounded a fist against the table, and everyone turned to look at him.
“This is shite. We need to do something,” he said, his glasses had gone askew when he pounded the table, and he didn’t bother to fix them.
“Like what?” Peter asked.
“We need to fight.”
“How? We’re still in school. There’s nothing we can do from here.”
“Then we need to prepare for when we can fight.”
“How do you suppose we do that Potter?” Lily cut it. “The professors are already doing their best to teach us all we need to learn.”
“Not all of them,” Remus muttered, looking over to the faculty table at old Professor Fiddlewood, who looked to be more asleep than awake.
Lily followed his eyes. “I know,” she sighed, “I don’t feel like I’m learning anything from him.”
“We’re better off teaching ourselves at this point,” Marlene muttered.
Lily’s eyes lit up. “That’s not a bad idea, Marls.”
“What do you mean, Evans?”
“We can teach ourselves,” she answered. “And each other.”
“What? Like a study group?”
“Yeah, or a club.”
“That’s a great idea, Lily,” James piped in. “As long as it doesn’t conflict with quidditch practice, I’m in. Pete?”
“Count me in,” Peter said. Mary and Marlene nodded along with him. The tense air seemed to dissipate and was replaced with something akin to hope. They all started to pick up their forks and dig into their breakfast.
“Yeah, if this is what the world is going to be like from now on,” Mary indicated towards the Daily Prophet that had been placed in the middle of the table, “then I want to be ready.”
“Just one problem, Lils. Who’s going to teach? It’ll be a shitshow if we’re all just throwing random hexes around,” Remus brought up. She looked at him through her eyelashes, a devilish smirk pulling at one corner of her lips. “No. No way.”
“You have the best marks in Defense out of all of us,” Lily argued.
“And you’re the most patient,” James added, making Remus scoff. He was the most patient, though, if you didn’t count the days leading up to the full moon.
Sirius, who had been quiet throughout most of the conversation, finally spoke up. “I think Moony would make a great teacher.”
Their eyes met. “You really think so?” Remus asked quietly and deflated when Sirius nodded. The rest of their friends were nodding, too, though Remus only looked at him.
Remus bit his lip. He looked down at the table, then up to the illusion of overcast clouds above them, thinking. “Okay,” he said finally.
Lily pushed her plate away from her. “Thanks, Remus, and don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything else,” she said, then was gone in a flash of red hair.
Sirius didn’t eat much at breakfast. It was almost time for class by the time Lily left the table, and thoughts of the deatheater attack from the paper were swirling around his mind, making his stomach upset. He followed Remus’ lead, buttering a single slice of toast and chewing on it slowly. It felt like cardboard in his mouth. He dropped the remainder of the toast gratefully on his plate as the bells tolled, signaling the end of breakfast.
Sirius felt a tug on his sleeve as they filed out the Great Hall. He looked down, pale fingers were wrapped around the material of his robes. His brother was next to him, holding on to him, though he was looking anywhere but in his direction. To an outside eye, it must have looked like they were two strangers in a crowd; two strangers who happened to look almost like twins.
“Moony,” he called. Remus, who was a few paces ahead of him, looked back. James did, too, upon hearing his voice. “I’ll meet you all in Minnie’s class.” Remus nodded and James eyed the two brothers over his shoulder, nearly bumping into Mary as he walked without looking.
Regulus made a sharp turn down an unused corridor and Sirius followed.
“Hi,” Sirius said a bit nervously, tentatively. They hadn’t talked since the last quidditch game, and by the time he made it to the hospital wing, the pain potion Pomfrey had given him had dulled his senses. “How are you?”
“Good,” his brother answered, hoarsely. “Happy birthday, Siri.”
“Thanks, Reg.”
“I got you something.” Regulus dug into his bookbag that hung low past his hip.
“You didn’t have—” Sirius started to say, but Regulus thrust a green wrapped rectangle towards him.
“I know I didn’t have to.” Sirius grabbed the present. “It’s not much,” his brother warned, “but hopefully it will be useful.”
He turned to leave after that, but Sirius stopped him with a hand on his bicep. His arm felt thin under his robes, and Sirius hoped that his brother had been eating properly. “Wait Reg.” Regulus turned back to him and Sirius faltered, not knowing what to say. “We’re starting a club,” he landed on. “A defense club, you know, to help each other prepare for—” Sirius waved his hand around, unsure of how to put it. Prepare to fight in the war? Was that what he was trying to say? Regulus nodded, though. He seemed to understand. “You should come.”
“I don’t think Mother would like that.” Regulus frowned.
“Oh, right—”
“I can send Pandora in my place, though. She takes good notes.”
“Okay. Good, I like her.”
“Me too,” Regulus responded. He looked around him, at the empty hall, then back to Sirius. “I really have to get to class now.”
“Okay, see you later?”
“Okay.”
Sirius watched Regulus disappear down the hall, then tore the wrapping paper away from his gift and vanished the scraps. It was a book on occlumency, thick and old, from the looks of it. He wondered why Regulus would give him a book on occlumency; it wasn’t like they knew any legilimens. Sirius flipped through the pages and noticed the margins were covered with his brother’s elegant handwriting.
He stowed the book away in his bag, where it would remain untouched and unread, and took off towards the transfiguration classroom, hoping in vain that McGonagall wouldn’t be too pissed that he was late.
…
It was just them, the Marauders and the 5th year Gryffindor girls, for the first few Defense Club meetings. They practiced dueling, one-on-one, two-on-one, ambush attacks, anything they thought would be useful to know. They hadn’t talked about it, but there was an unspoken agreement in the air: they would fight when the time came.
By the last week of November, the unused classroom that Lily had secured for them, with the help of Professor Slughorn, had filled out. The Prewett twins were in regular attendance, and so were Alice and Frank, along with a few of Alice’s roommates and the Hufflepuff girls from herbology club she liked to hang out with. They listened to Remus, even though they were older than him, and the way he commanded the attention of the room shot a wave of excitement and pride through Sirius’ entire body. He was a good teacher after he got over his initial discomfort speaking in front of a group, and he now spent even more of his free time in the library looking up new defense techniques and spells to share with the club.
Regulus had stayed true to his word, and at the 3rd meeting, the fair-haired Lovegood girl showed up with her roommate. They were both in Regulus’ year, a year younger than them, though they looked well beyond their years. They sort of reminded him of the witches they learned about in Binn’s class and looked a bit like they spoke in riddles. Sirius caught the way Marlene balked at the sight of the newcomer, Pandora’s roommate; her eyes glued to the tall Ravenclaw.
Sirius made his way over to them as they walked in. They were looking around, as if they were unsure of what they had gotten themselves into and might need to make their escape. “Lovegood,” he greeted her like they were old friends. “Good to see you again.” He held his hand out to her roommate. “I’m Sirius. And you are?”
“Dorcas Meadows,” she answered cooly, taking Sirius’ hand and shaking it firmly.
“What do you know about Dorcas Meadows?” Sirius asked as he climbed into Remus’ bed later that night, after James and Peter had started to snore. He pulled the curtains shut and cast a silencing charm around them. Remus seemed to be expecting him and held his duvet open for Sirius to climb under.
“Nothing, except she’s in Ravenclaw and,” he smirked, “Marlene seems to be proper smitten with her.”
“So, you see it, too.” Sirius pressed their bare legs together under the covers. The hair on Remus’ legs tickled him, but they were also soft and warm. Their sock-covered feet tangled together, though neither mentioned it.
“She’s not subtle, is she?”
“Never has been. So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to pair them up for duels next meeting,” Remus answered devilishly.
“You’re an evil genius, Moons.” He placed a kiss on Remus’ cheek, just like he had done on his birthday. They had yet to talk about their Halloween snog session; Sirius was convinced Remus didn’t remember any of it, but Sirius had kissed his cheek a few times now and he never said anything or pushed him away. It probably helped that he sometimes kissed James and Peter the same way, even though in Sirius’ head it was much different.
The next Defense Club meeting was on a Thursday, during the lull between the last classes of the day and dinner. Marlene looked like she was about to vomit, or bolt from the classroom, when Remus announced the pairs who would be dueling that day.
“Is Marlene okay?” Peter asked, then dodged the bat bogey hex that Lily had sent his way.
Marlene, who was usually a decent dueler, was floundering. Dorcas threw spells and hexes at her with an unwaivable fury. Marlene squeaked as she had to dodge a pimple jinx that was aimed right for her face. A rogue spell ricocheted off of the wall and singed the leg of one of the desks that had been pushed to the edge of the classroom.
Everyone paused, staring at the spectacle that was Dorcas’ wrath. Remus was at his ear. “Merlin, what did Marlene do to the poor girl?”
“I have no idea, but it must have been bad,” Sirius whispered. Marlene had all but given up on her defensive spells, there was no time to cast protego— Dorcas was too quick for her.
Tarantallegra. Marlene’s legs spasmed in different directions. She tried to take a step back and fell flat on her arse. Her wand slipped from her hand and fell a distance away from her, and rolled until it was even farther out of her grasp. She scooted, her legs still out of control, until she was backed up into a corner, her arms up and covering her face.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have meddled.”
Remus raised his wand; he was about to cast an expelliarmus to end their match. It was clear that Dorcas had won, and he was afraid she would take it too far now that Marlene was defenseless, but before he could do so, she cast her final spell. Aguamenti. A stream of water sprayed from the tip of Dorcas’ wand, drenching Marlene from head to toe. Her blonde hair was plastered to her forehead and her eyeliner ran down her face in streaks. Mary ran to her, covering her with her own robes as the water seeped through her white button up shirt and exposed the black bra underneath.
“That’s for ruining my favorite top,” Dorcas announced. Then she added under her breath, “Bitch.”
“Erm,” Remus started, clearing his throat, but no one paid any attention to him. Their eyes were still on Marlene as she shivered against the chill in the classroom. Lily went to her then and tried to help her with a drying charm. They got stuck on her shoes, which were waterlogged and wouldn’t seem to dry no matter what they did. “Alright, alright,” Remus said much louder this time, commanding. “Show’s over. Now I hope you all have a nice dinner.”
Dorcas and Pandora were the first to leave, Dorcas with her arms crossed and looking smug, and Pandora following with a blissfully absent look on her face. The others were slow to follow and craned their necks towards Marlene as they were ushered out of the room by Mary, who shut the door behind them.
“You okay, Marls?” she asked.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “I think I’m dry enough, let’s head down to dinner.”
Mary, Lily, Peter, and James were the first out of the door, and when they were out of sight, Marlene turned to him and Remus. She grabbed onto their elbows and whispered so only they would hear. “Isn’t she bloody gorgeous? I’m so doomed.”
…
December came at last and brought the snow with it.
“Lads,” James called in the early light of morning. It was too early for any of them to be up; Remus’ alarm clock hadn’t even gone off yet. “It snowed! Guys, wake up.”
“Snow?” Peter threw open his bedcurtains and ran to the window. Sirius was out of his bed next, sidling up behind James and Peter. Everything was covered in a blanket of white.
“I think you both know what we need to do,” Sirius conspired.
“Snowball fight?”
“What else?”
They had to shake Remus awake, but 10 minutes later they were dressed in their warmest clothes and sneaking out to the grounds. Remus threw the first snowball as soon as they were past the coverage of trees. It hit James in the back of the head and was probably an act of revenge for being woken up so early. James scooped some snow up in his gloved hands, but before he could throw one back at Remus, Sirius hit him in the shoulder. Then Peter.
“No fair, you guys are ganging up on me,” James yelled.
“All’s fair in love and war, Prongs,” Remus laughed.
Sirius had forgotten his gloves and his trunk, and his hands were starting to feel numb, but he didn’t care. They ran around, snow melting in their hair and in their shoes as they pelted each other with snowballs. They were all sure to have bruises later.
Sirius felt full. Full and too much, an overwhelming feeling. He changed into Padfoot; his tail wagged like a propeller, and he bit at the snow the rest of them kicked up with their feet. He rolled in the powder, and it clung to the fur on his back.
He stayed that way until Remus plopped down in the snow when they got to a clearing in the trees, his hands forming a T for timeout. Sirius changed back and lay flat on his back in the snow next to him, breathing heavily, while James and Peter continued to run through the forest. Branches of naked trees scratched out towards the pale sky above him. Sirius started waving his arms and legs back and forth in the snow.
“What are you doing, Pads?”
“Making a snow angel.”
“Is that so?”
“Isn’t that what muggles do? Mary taught me.”
Remus just laughed, looking down at him fondly.
“Don’t laugh,” Sirius protested. “Join me.”
“Alright,” he said.
Peter ran up to them. A snowball flew over his head as he ducked as low as he could. “What are you guys doing?” he asked through gasps. James was behind him in a second, complaining about them all being too lazy while he looked like he had barely broken a sweat.
“Help me up and I’ll show you.” He did, then Sirius helped Remus stand. Their impressions in the snow were nearly touching.
“It’s a snow wizard, Pete,” James said.
“Snow angel,” Remus corrected.
“Doesn’t look like an angel to me,” Peter mumbled. “Are you sure you did it right?”
They were sopping wet when they made it to breakfast. Lily rolled her eyes at them. “At least cast a drying charm before coming in.” She cast one on Remus but left the others to cast their own. Remus thanked her and didn’t mention that his socks were still wet. “You’re all going to get sick.”
Sirius shook his head, his wet hair spraying droplets of water around him. It made him look like Padfoot. Mary squealed. “Quit it, Black.”
“You girls don’t know how to have fun.”
“Maybe you boys just have a dumb idea of fun.”
The four of them ate hungrily after spending so much energy running around in the forest. The girls eyed them with disgust as they slurped up their porridge and stabbed at clouds of egg scramble, but it just made Sirius want to laugh. And he was laughing, at some quip Marlene had made at their expense, when the owls arrived that morning.
His smile fell and his laugh dropped off into silence, as a large black owl swooped towards his head and dropped a sealed envelope in front of him.
“What is it?” James asked as he opened the letter and read it.
“Nothing,” he said and shoved it into his seat pocket. He smiled once again, made a comment that made Marlene snort with laughter, and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.