Chapter 25
Remus wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as Sirius opened the door to the Hog's Head. They had made the trek over to the village early, hopping in a carriage with some random 3rd years instead of taking the walking path; Sirius was much too excited to waste time walking the distance from the castle to Hogsmeade. Remus’ knee bounced in the carriage but not from the bumpiness of the ride. He had been waiting anxiously for this day ever since Sirius received that late night owl.
It was a slow morning for Aberforth. The Hog's Head was empty except for an old drunk who sipped from a glass at one of the tables near the stairs. The bearded barkeep hummed to himself behind the counter, flicking his wand lethargically as a kitchen towelette dried some of the freshly washed beersteins. He grunted as Sirius approached the bar.
“I’m here to see Angelica Greene,” he said confidently.
Aberforth set his wand down and the towel flopped lifelessly onto the bar. “’ere,” he said and handed Sirius a single key from the pocket of his robes. “Room 3.”
Remus felt like he was going to vomit as they climbed the stairs to the second floor where all the boarding rooms were located. He was nervous. He was about to meet his soulmate’s family—the family that he actually liked and who had impeccable music taste.
“Thanks for coming with me,” Sirius whispered before they reached the landing. “Is it weird that I’m sort of nervous? I haven’t seen her in years,” he said, a soft chuckle bubbled past his lips.
Remus smiled at him in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “She loves you,” he reminded him; he hoped it helped.
Too soon they were standing in front of a door with the number 3 engraved into the wood. Remus arranged his face into a neutral expression as Sirius fumbled with the key, but the door swung open before he could fit it in the lock.
“I thought I heard you out here,” a tall woman with deep brown hair beamed at them and then pulled Sirius in for a long hug.
“Andy,” Sirius mumbled against her shoulder.
“I know,” she said. “I missed you, too.” She pulled away, but held onto his shoulders, drinking in his appearance. “Merlin, your hair is almost as long as mine now.”
Sirius smiled. “You like it?”
“Definitely. Ted’s been trying to grow his hair out for a while, though he insists on doing it the muggle way.” She stepped aside, revealing a man who was dressed similarly to Remus, a rust-colored button up tucked into a pair of blue jeans but, unlike Remus, he had his sleeves cuffed to reveal his strong forearms. His hair fell in waves just past his ears and he was tall, like his soulmate, though it was hard to tell how tall he was until he stood up from where he sat on the one double bed in the middle of the room.
He held his hand out to Sirius. “Nice to finally meet you,” he told him. His kind, wide smile revealed a few crooked teeth, though it just added to his effortless charm.
“Likewise,” Sirius said then turned to Remus. “This is Remus,” he announced.
“Oh, hello,” Andy said, as if she had just noticed he was there. There was a hesitant tone in her voice and Remus remembered, belatedly, that they were supposed to be in hiding.
“He’s my soulmate,” Sirius added, and Remus felt himself flush.
Andy’s eyes crinkled as she pulled Sirius in for another hug. “Oh cousin, I’m so happy for you.” She let him go then did the same to Remus, making him stumble a bit as she caught him off guard. “Welcome to the family,” she whispered so only he could hear.
With an impressive feat of magic, Ted transfigured the double bed into two large sofas and Andy pulled them deeper into the room. “Sit, sit,” she told them. She waved her wand and three rocks glasses and a bottle of top-shelf firewhiskey appeared before them. Ted poured, then held the last one to his lips. “Drink,” Andy commanded.
Sirius raised his brow, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. “You won’t be joining us?”
She eyed him. “You must know already. Secrets spread like wildfires around these parts.” She stood and pulled her robes tight around her belly, which had already started to show the first signs of pregnancy. Ted beamed at her as she showed it off. “16 weeks. We found out this summer, but we wanted to make sure it stuck before we told anyone.”
“You’re going to be brilliant parents.” Sirius grinned as she sat back down in the crook of the sofa, tucking her bare feet under her butt. Ted reached over and rubbed his hand over her bent knee. Remus nodded; he couldn’t help but agree with Sirius even though he had only known them for a few minutes.
“Better than our parents, that’s for sure,” she joked. Then, “Oh, I almost forgot!” She made to get up again, but Ted stopped her.
“Let me.” He went to the closet and came back with a plain, brown paper bag.
“Your birthdays coming up,” she explained as Ted handed it to Sirius. “16, you’ll be a man next year.”
“I’m already a man,” he scoffed, pulling out a record from the bag. He flashed the cover to Remus with a smirk, then threw his head back with a laugh when Remus rolled his eyes.
“What, you don’t like Pink Floyd?”
“Oh, I like them, but Moony loves them! He played Dark Side of the Moon for a month straight last year.”
“It was a phase.”
“A man of good taste,” Ted appraised him.
“Well, I think this one’s better,” she said, then smacked Ted on the shoulder when he shook his head.
“We’ll see about that,” Sirius promised.
It was dark when they left the Hog's Head. They ran into Mary on their way out, who had her clipboard and quill clutched in her hands. Her petition to get a phone booth installed in the village fluttered in the breeze that had started to pick up.
“Still working on that petition?” Remus asked. He was still feeling a bit tipsy, and happy that things had gone well. The four of them had talked for hours until Andy started yawning and claimed they had to head back to France before Alphard started to worry. Remus was glad to find that he had a lot in common with Ted and the two of them got on well.
“Write,” Andy told Sirius before they apparated away. “And you better come to Alphard’s for Christmas, he has a room made up for you and everything.”
“I will,” Sirius said.
“Yes,” Mary huffed, bringing Remus back to the present. “I’m not having much luck, though.” She hooked her thumb towards the door of the Hogshead. “Was sort of hoping everyone in there would be too drunk to question what they’re signing.”
“Right, good luck with that Mare,” Sirius said quickly as he started to pull Remus away.
“Jeez, where’s the fire, Black?” she said under her breath. Then, “everyone’s over at the Broomsticks right now if you want to go meet them,” she called after them.
“Sure,” Sirius called, though he pulled Remus in the opposite direction.
They dipped under a broken fence and started on the path towards the Shrieking Shack. “What’s up, Pads?”
“Nothing.” He stopped by a bare tree and plopped down unceremoniously onto a pile of yellow leaves. “Could go for a smoke is all.”
“Spliff?”
Sirius’ face lit up. “Brilliant,” he said fondly when Remus pulled his shrunken stash box out of his pocket. Remus was busy scooping loose baccy into the rolling paper when Sirius reached past him into the box. “What’s this?” He snatched the photograph that had been tucked into the corner of the lid.
“Nothing,” Remus said quickly, reaching to snatch it back but Sirius held it just out of his grasp. “It’s mine.” He cursed himself for forgetting he had put it there after giving Lily back her book of poems. It was the photo of Sirius smiling at the camera.
“Did you nick this from Mary?”
“No. Maybe,” Remus said finally.
“Why?” Sirius asked, handing it back to Remus, who smoothed out the invisible wrinkles and placed it in his shirt pocket.
Remus shrugged. “Just liked it.” He couldn’t tell him that it had helped him get through the summer, and he definitely wasn’t going to tell him what he had done with it on multiple occasions. He was sure Sirius could guess, though.
“Okay,” Sirius said and didn’t mention it again. He looked deep in thought when Remus finally handed him the lit spliff. He had a far off look on his face as he stared into the thicket of dead trees on the outskirts of the forest.
“What’s up, Pads?” He asked for the second time.
“Nothing.” Remus didn’t believe him. “It’s just— was it okay that I told Andy and Ted? About us? I know I was only supposed to tell Prongs.”
“Oh, yeah,” Remus answered. It occurred to him that he had never told Sirius about telling Lily or Marlene, and for some reason, he still didn’t tell him. “I don’t mind.”
“They like you, ya know. I could tell.” Remus looked down at his lap, at his stash box and the grease stain on the thigh of his jeans, and smiled.
They smoked the spliff down to the filter then continued on the path, taking the long way back to the castle. As they walked, Sirius’ fingers brushed against his. Once. Twice. After the third time, Remus grabbed his hand, holding it in his, until they reached the doors of the entrance hall.
…
James had the map tucked into his Astronomy textbook, which he held right in front of his face so no one could see what he was up to, though he probably wasn’t fooling anyone into thinking he was actually studying. It was supposed to be Sirius’ turn to have the map, but he was so distracted by Remus who was sitting across the coffee table from him to realize it was gone. There was something going on with the two of them and he wished someone else knew their secret so they could take bets on when they would finally get together. James would bet 10 galleons that they would be together by the end of the week.
He was watching one name on the map. Regulus Black. The name had been stationary for the past hour, in the Ravenclaw common room with Pandora Lovegood and someone named Dorcas Meadows. Still, James couldn’t look away.
Mary sighed loud enough for everyone else to look up from their homework. “So, what’s the plan for Halloween?” she asked when she had everyone’s attention.
“A party, obviously,” Peter answered. “We throw one every year.”
“Yeah, MacDonald, how can you forget our annual Halloween/ Padfoot’s birthday party?”
Marlene rolled her eyes. “His birthday isn’t even until November 3rd.”
“You’re just jealous you don’t share your birthday with the coolest holiday of the year,” Sirius said, sticking his tongue out at her.
“Neither do you, moron.”
“It’s close enough.”
“Enough you two.” Mary cut them off. “I’m talking about costumes! No one ever dresses up for Halloween around here!”
“Muggles dress up for Halloween?”
“Like in fancy dresses and suits?” Peter asked, chuckling.
“No, in costumes,” Mary answered. “It’s fun, right Remus?”
“Sure,” he said, though he seemed to bristle for a reason James couldn’t place.
Mary seemed to catch on to his mood. “You’re telling me you’ve never dressed up for Halloween?”
“It’s not really my thing,” he answered stiffly.
“What kind of costumes, Mare?” Marlene asked. Remus looked relieved as Mary’s attention shifted to her roommate.
“Well, a lot of muggles dress up as something scary, like zombies or vampires or werewolves.” Oh. James understood now. He looked over to Remus who was staring down at the book in his lap.
“No,” Sirius said abruptly. He stood from his seat on the sofa, so he was now looming over Mary in the armchair. “No costumes.” His voice was loud, and harsh, and a couple of first years who were sitting by the window turned to gawk at him. His nostrils flared, and then he was gone, storming off to their dorm room, from the looks of it. James wanted to follow him, but Remus stayed sitting where he was, and they couldn’t all leave him to fend for himself.
“What’s his deal?” She looked around to the remaining Gryffindors in the common room, confused at Sirius’ reaction. “What’s wrong with wearing costumes?”
James looked to Peter as they both floundered. Remus still stared down as his lap, though they could all tell he wasn’t reading. His jaw was set tightly, the muscles bulging under his ears.
“Why not?” she asked again when no one answered.
“No offense Mary,” James said, he had to fix this, “but it’s sort of…” he searched for the right words. “Well, offensive.”
“No, it’s not, it’s just good fun.”
“Yeah,” Marlene agreed, she placed a hand on Mary’s shoulder. “Mum used to work with a bloke who got bit by a vampire. He got fired from the Ministry and disappeared. It was really sad.”
Mary’s mouth formed an o shape and she visibly deflated. “Fine,” she grumbled, “no costumes.”
Halloween night was upon them quickly and the common room was littered with bodies and half-empty goblets of punch. The music pulsed so loud that James was surprised their party hadn’t been shut down yet, but he suspected that it was because the faculty was busy celebrating the holiday themselves. They had all seemed to be in high spirits at the Halloween Feast earlier that evening.
Remus grabbed his shoulder in the throng of the dancefloor and spun him so that they were facing each other. “Bloody fuck, Prongs, we have a problem! Lily said she saw the Prewett twins put something in the punch that looked a lot like veritiserum!”
James could hardly focus on Remus’ face as it swirled in his vision. Suddenly, a thought popped into his head, and he just had to share it. “I’m going to live forever,” he breathed.
Remus leaned in closer. “I can’t hear you over the music, Prongs, speak up.”
He stood on his toes to speak into Remus’ ear. “Moony, did you know you’re one of my best friends?” James said louder, he was practically yelling now. “I love you, man.”
Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not you, too,” he groaned. “Find Peter. I’m taking Pads upstairs; he’s had a lot.” James panned over to where Sirius was perched next to Marlene, who was shaking with laughter as Sirius told her something with his hands cupped around her ear.
“Good idea, you’re a genius, Moony!”
Remus sighed. “He looks so hot tonight, doesn’t he?” He clamped his hand over his mouth as soon as the words were out. “I’m going to kill those guys,” he seethed and then was off, pulling Sirius towards the stairs that led to their dorm.
James spotted Peter by the fireplace and started to make his way over to him, but Frank stopped him before he had a chance. “I hate that you’re so good at quidditch, mate,” the older boy told him. James’ jaw dropped. “I was jealous the first year you joined because you were so much better than me.”
“Frank!” Alice pushed through the crowd to get to them. “Let’s get you up to bed.” She shot James an apologetic smile and pulled Frank away.
“I love you, Alice,” James heard him say before they were out of earshot.
“Love you, too, Frankie. Now c’mon.”
James shook his head. I need to get out of here, he thought to himself, forgetting all about Peter and his mission to get them all upstairs.
There were a few students lingering in the hall when he stepped out of the portrait hole, and a few stray piles of vomit that James vanished with a cringe. Lily was there too, trying to rally some Hufflepuffs back to their own house.
“How much have you had, Evans?” James asked her, too loud in the quiet of the hall. His voice echoed around them.
“None, thank god. What about you?”
“Too much,” he answered honestly. “I’m going to try to walk it off.”
“Don’t get caught,” she warned him.
His feet took him to the Astronomy Tower before he even had a chance to think about where he was going. “I was afraid you weren’t going to be here,” he confessed once he opened the door.
Regulus looked shocked. Me? He mouthed, pointing a finger towards his chest.
“Yes, you! Who else?”
Regulus shrugged. James waited for him to write his response until he realized he didn’t seem to have anything to write on. “Oh right, Accio journal,” he said. A minute later Regulus’ forgotten journal flew into his hand, and he passed it over. “You forgot this last time.”
Regulus pulled a quill out of his robes pocket. James almost laughed. Who keeps a quill on them? He almost asked it out loud, but Regulus started to write something, and the thought was forgotten.
Did you read it?
“Read what?”
Regulus tapped the page.
“Oh, your journal? Of course not.”
Regulus looked relieved.
Thank you.
“You don’t have to thank me for not reading your journal,” James answered.
Regulus shrugged.
Some people would have read it.
“Well, I would never. I am going to need my cloak back, though. It’s been in the Potter family for centur—”
Regulus pulled the heap of velvet out of his bookbag that lay discarded at his feet and shoved it towards James before he was even done speaking.
“Thanks, I hope you had some fun with it,” he said then marveled at the smile that appeared on Regulus’ face.
“You did, didn’t you? Did you pull any good pranks?”
Regulus shrugged again, still smirking. He picked up his quill and his hand hovered over the page, hesitant.
“What?” James encouraged him.
It’s impressive. I’ve never seen one before.
“Oh, the cloak? Yeah, Dad says they’re pretty rare. I would have gotten in loads of trouble if I lost it,” he said absent-mindedly. His dad had passed the cloak down to him when he started school, but before that, it hung in their hallway closet where James had access to it anytime he wanted. So, some of the magic had been lost on him; his parents had a lot more interesting items lying around the house, anyway, hidden in the attic and closed-off rooms that had belonged to his great-great ancestors. It did come in handy, though, especially for pranks. “Can I ask you something?”
Regulus nodded.
“Why don’t you talk?”
Regulus looked away, out towards the lake. James thought he wasn’t going to answer until he heaved a sigh and started to write:
I don’t know. I just can’t.
“You talk to Sirius, though.”
Sometimes.
“You can talk to him, though. Why not me? Are you nervous because you don’t have to be nervous.” James was rambling now. “I think you’re really cool.”
Regulus opened his mouth and for a second, James thought he was going to say something, but after a moment, he closed his mouth again. James tried to suppress his disappointment, but the veritiserum in his system made it hard. A pitiful sound, like the growl of a small animal, slipped from his lips.
Sorry.
“Will you ever talk to me?”
Maybe.
“Okay. That’s okay.” He nodded to himself. “I can work with that.”
The party was dead when he returned, probably thanks to Lily and her expert damage control. He hadn’t stayed up in the Astronomy Tower for long; Regulus had written something about his friends waiting up for him and left shortly after James asked if he would ever talk to him, and he didn’t see a point in staying up there all alone. He regretted asking, he really did, but it had been swimming in his head for a while now and he needed to know.
Several students had passed out on the sofas and armchairs in the common room and the place was a mess. He found Peter curled up on a round ottoman. He thought about waking him up but decided to leave him there until morning.
Wish You Were Here was playing when he opened the dormitory door, as it had been for the past week since Sirius had met up with his cousin. It was like last year’s Dark Side of the Moon era all over again.
He hoped Sirius and Remus were still awake; he didn’t feel like being alone. The veritiserum was making him feel vulnerable and weird, and James decidedly did not like it. He took one step into the dorm before he stopped, stifling a gasp behind his palm. He caught the door before it banged against the wall, then shut it softly and tiptoed back down to the common room.
“Shove over, Wormy,” James said. Peter grunted and woke up enough to shift over so there was enough room for James on the makeshift bed.
…
“Wake up, Pads.” Sirius opened his eyes and felt a wave of nausea. He groaned. “You’re lucky it’s Saturday or you would have missed Minnie and Binn’s class,” James said as he passed Sirius a glass of stale water.
Sirius took a sip and winced. “What time is it?”
“Passed noon.”
“Hmm, where’s Moony?” James nodded to the next bed where Remus was sprawled on top of his duvet and sleeping deeply. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, even his shoes. “Pete?”
“That’s why I’m waking you up,” James said, handing him a dirty t-shirt from the floor to put on. “He was in the common room when I fell asleep, but he was gone when I woke up. Need you to help me find him.”
“Check the map,” Sirius grumbled and tried to roll over to go back to bed.
“He must have it with him. I can’t find it anywhere.”
Sirius groaned. “Of course, he does.” He wiped the crust from his eyes and rubbed until his vision was no longer blurry. “He probably went down to the kitchens, but I’ll help you look I guess.”
“Congratulations, by the way,” James said when Sirius had finally made himself presentable enough to face the rest of the school and the two of them stepped out into the corridor.
“What do you mean?”
James grinned and nudged him with his elbow. “You and Moony. I walked in on you guys last night.”
“What?” Sirius wracked his brain. It was foggy. He was with Marlene and then he wasn’t…
“You don’t remember? You were really going at it.”
“Oh?” he asked, then his eyes widened. Oh!” It started to come back to him.
Remus pulled him away from Marlene and into the dorm. Someone had spiked the punch with veritiserum. Oh, now it made sense why he felt compelled to tell Marlene about how delicious Moony’s ass looked in his jeans. “What do you want to listen to,” he remembered asking.
“I need a smoke,” Remus had said. They sat on the windowsill together. The window was open and the night breeze gave him goosebumps. Remus lit two cigarettes at once with the lighter Sirius had spent weeks engraving, his cheeks hollowing, and then he handed one to Sirius. They were store-bought ones, Sirius noticed, not the hand-rolled ones they both preferred.
“Fuck, I really want to kiss you right now.”
Was Sirius the one who said that? He didn’t remember.
They kissed. No, they snogged. Remus’ tongue pushed into his mouth then Sirius was sucking on his bottom lip. Remus’ hands were everywhere— on his chest, his stomach, pushing up his shirt, wrapping around his thighs and lifting him up to sit on his desk. An inkpot tipped over and a roll of parchment fell to the floor. Sirius wrapped his legs around him.
“Fuck,” Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. “I hope I didn’t make him uncomfortable.” He chewed on his fingernail. Remus had wanted to wait and here Sirius was throwing himself at him. He had ruined everything, and he hardly remembered it.
James snorted. “Don’t worry, it seemed like he was the one in charge.”
“Really?” Sirius felt his brain short circuit. Remus had kissed him. Remus had wanted to kiss him.
“Yep, he was all over you.”
“Bloody—Do you think he remembers?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“I can’t just ask him!” Sirius yelled. “What if he doesn’t remember?”
“Then remind him,” James said, wiggling his brow suggestively. He mimed kissing someone, with his hands roaming over his torso and his tongue swirling in the air. It made Sirius want to punch him.
He rolled his eyes instead. “Stop before someone sees you.” Then he groaned, ran his hands through his hair for what felt like the millionth time. “Ugh, you’re no help Prongs.”
He tried to remember more, playing what he did remember of the scene over and over in his head. He touched his lips, the same ones Remus had kissed only hours before, with the tips of his fingers. He was starting to feel hot. “Shite,” he muttered.
“Down, boy,” James laughed when he noticed the redness on his cheeks.
Sirius laughed, joyous and nervous. “Alright,” he said. “Hey, doesn’t Dumbledore have a pensieve in his office?”
“I think so, why?” Sirius’ grin was sly, and James pushed him into the nearby wall. “No way, I’m not giving you my memory so you can wank to it.”