Petunia and Vernon are not in the god-forsaken house.
Thank fucking Merlin.
His unfortunately blood-related uncle and aunt had left for some particular reason that Harry didn't pay attention to but the wizard suspected that it was probably because of his blood-uncle's drill business Grunnings. Not that the young Gryffindor could care less, anywhere at any time without his relatives was heaven to him. He could be in hell with Voldermort but enjoying himself because they weren't there yet.
Harry heaved a sigh of relief as he entered the empty kitchen, usually by now Petunia would be screeching at him to cook breakfast with an annoyed look on her ugly horse face and Vernon would be grumbling about something in the newspaper.
Harry wondered if he should replace his newspaper with a magical one.
The wizard smirked at the idea, relishing at the imagined reaction his so-called uncle would have to the magical newspaper with moving pictures from the wizarding world that he oh so despised and not being able to do anything because Harry was technically wasn't doing any magic. The newspaper was already enchanted after all, and the Ministry of Magic owed him enough already.
If Dumbledore could abuse his authority, then why couldn't he?
Harry hummed a song from the weird sisters as he poured the pancake batter into the frying pan and flipped the third pancake and placed it onto the plate with the other two. It wasn't every day that he could indulge himself like this, Draco was probably eating his liver in jealousy right now because his Slytherin boyfriend loved nothing more than eating Harry's cooking.
Especially his pancakes.
Harry spread the butter on the pancakes and poured the maple syrup, filling up the empty space on the plate with the scrambled eggs he had cooked. Today was possibly the best day of his life, Sirius had gotten his name cleared and was all healed up and even deemed fit to be a caretaker. Which meant that he could finally take Harry in like he was supposed to originally.
He hoped Pettigrew burned in Azkaban for all of eternity.
And by the end of this week, Harry would have moved into Number 13 Grimmuld Place with his godfather as well as Remus and wouldn't have to see the Dursleys' faces every single day of his miserable life.
He finally wouldn't have to live in Privet Drive.
The downside of this is that Petunia and Vernon had been insufferable all week. Demanding more chores out of him and forcing him to take on all the chores in the house, even the ones that Petunia insisted on doing herself. His relatives seemed determined to make his last days at Privet Drive absolutely miserable. ( T̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶s̶i̶x̶t̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶a̶b̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ )
But it seemed like the fates decided to favor him today because his uncle and aunt weren't in the house.
He was home alone-
"Harry?"
The wizard froze at the all too familiar voice, flinching slightly at the movement down the stairs that he observed from out of the corner of his eyes. A large body with familiar blonde hair climbed down the stairs and entered the dining room where Harry's plate of breakfast was placed on the wooden table. Harry internally cursed the fates and himself while he was at it.
How the hell was he so stupid?!
Harry felt like banging his head against the marble counter of the kitchen counter, maybe that would have knocked some sense into him. How could he have forgotten about Dudley fucking Dursley?! His childhood bully, his tormentor, his blood-related cousin that never wanted him and he never wanted, the one that made his school days lonely and miserable.
How in the name of Merlin, did he forget that he was still in the house?!
The realization dropped on him like a ton of bricks.
He, he, and Dudley, who he hasn't spoken a single word to after the deemed dementor incident was going to be in this merlin-forsaken house together, alone because Petunia and Vernon had left the house for some melin-forsaken reason and it was just going to be the two of them in the merlin-forsaken house that he just so happened to be moving out of.
And he had access to knives which was going to make it harder not to commit suicide or murder, or both.
Great just bloody fucking great, he was going to be in his sixth year of Hogwarts, Sirius almost died, Remus almost murdered somebody, Cedric did actually die and the dark lord was back and the prophet finally believes him and now he has to deal with this.
Great, just great, just what he fucking needed.
He hadn't had enough coffee for this.
He cracked another egg into the pan, forcing himself to make another serving of scrambled eggs to feed his cousin. "Breakfast will be done in a bit Dudley," Harry stated, resolutely not looking at his muggle cousin. Dudley fidgeted a bit before awkwardly sitting down in one of the chairs across Harry's plate while looking down at the floor like it was the most interesting thing on earth.
The Wizard sat down in his chair and placed the plate of scrambled eggs and sausage in front of his cousin and resolutely ignored the muggle while eating his pancakes. Dudley either did not notice or did not care about the difference in their breakfast. They both ate their meals silently and not a single word was exchanged between the cousin. Harry ignored Dudley's flickering gaze.
The vaguely remembered the content in Hermione's letters advising him to find a chance to speak to his cousin about the whole dementor thing, even Ron agreed, albeit a little begrudgingly since the ginger experienced Dudley's horrible personality during their fourth year in Hogwarts. Forgive and forget they said.
No remember and hold grudges.
Harry finished off his pancakes and took a long ever-suffering sip of his black coffee, Draco always wondered how the heck he managed to drink it since the Slytherin student absolutely hated caffeine. He chortled slightly under his breath at the thought of his lover but shook his head and began scrubbing his dirty plate in the kitchen sink, ignoring his cousin standing at the doorway.
Dudley shifted uncomfortably at the entranceway of the kitchen, squirming at the awkward strained silence choking the air in the kitchen. His eyes flickered as Harry continued washing dishes. Finally, the wizard sighed and turned towards the muggle, who flinched.
"What do you want big D."
His cousin flushed at the nickname but didn't say anything about it, instead grabbing the extra sponge next to the tap and started cleaning his own plate. Harry almost felt his jaw drop to the floor. Dudley, diddy duddy kins, sweet pumpkins, Dudley of all people was washing dishes? And to boot he was washing his coffee mug? Was this some sort of peace offering?
What is the name of Merlin was going on?
The silence stretched on as Dudley placed all of the soaked dishes into the drying rack and faced Harry with steely determination and guilt in his eyes. Harry just stared back in disbelief, was this the day that he had dreamed of but knew was never going to happen? No, it can't be, it couldn't possibly be. Then the metaphorical bomb dropped.
"I'm sorry."
Harry felt a bit of his soul leave his body.
"What did you say?" Harry asked, feeling a bit light-headed, Dudley flinched slightly but repeated his words anyway. "I'm sorry." Harry instantly froze like a deer in headlights at the sudden apology. "Oh my god, you're sorry, you're fucking sorry..." Harry whispered sagely "You apologized, you actually apologized..." he muttered as Dudley squirmed under his gaze.
"This is a dream right?" Harry whispered the question to himself and pinched his skin, flinching at the sharp pain. "No it isn't a dream, it's real, you're apologizing holy shit you said sorry..." Dudley cringed slightly at his magical cousin's disbelieving mumbling, growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute as Harry continued to mutter to himself about long over-due apologies.
"Can we...cook or bake...?" Dudley prompted, snapping Harry out of his daze.
Harry's head snapped up to look at his cousin with an even more disbelieving stare. "Bake?! Cook?!" Dudley shifted again, more uncomfortable than ever, then again his school counselor never said that apologizing would be an easy task.
"Look my school counselor told me to do something you like so we can bond over it okay." Dudley defended, cheeks flushed red. Harry's disbelieving gaze just turned incredulous at his muggle cousin's claim. "School counselor? You talked to your school counselor?!" Dudley cringed even more. "Please don't tell Mom and Dad." the blonde pleaded.
Harry just blinked and heaved an exasperated sigh.
"Look, I'm not expecting you to just forgive me, I know healing takes time-" Dudley started but was quickly cut off with "Cookies, let's make cookies." Harry decided, taking out the baking tray and pre-heating the oven. Dudley blanched and stiffened but obeyed when the wizard ordered him to take out the eggs and the flour as well as the sugar.
Harry pulled the bag of chocolate chips out of the cabinet and set down on the counter, scanning them to make sure there weren't any ingredients missing. "Um, is all-purpose flour any different from regular flour?" Dudley asked, measuring out the all-purpose flour. "Yes Dudley, now get the unsalted butter and the vanilla extract please." Harry requested, rolling his eyes.
The Gryffindor took the lead in the baking, whisking the flour, baking soda, and salt together while he directed his muggle cousin to preheat the oven to 190'c. They chatted, about the school, their friends, their hobbies, about life in general as they cracked the eggs and folded in the chocolate chips. Dudley's jaw dropped at hearing Harry's multiple misadventures.
"You mean to tell me," the blonde started, pushing the baking tray with the cookie batter into the oven to bake, "That you fought a troll and almost died in your first year," Harry flinched slightly at his cousin's incredulous voice. "Battled a monstrous snake and some ghost guy when you were twelve," he shivered at the mention of the basilisk. "Traveled through time and broke someone out of jail in your third year,"
Harry smiled at the memory of Buckbeak and Sirius, which just creeped out his cousin.
"Got forced into a tournament even though you weren't of age, almost died again, witnessed someone get murdered, and was forced into a messed up ritual to resurrect a dead overlord who wants to kill you at 14," Harry froze, the sight of Cedric's corpse falling to the ground at the effects of the killing curse flashed before his eyes. ( I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶,̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶h̶i̶s̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶h̶i̶s̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶h̶i̶s̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶ )
"And when you were 15 you broke into the ministry building and fought a ton of cult members and almost died again." Dudley finished, looking extremely disturbed and perturbed at his cousin's many many near-death experiences.
"Um...yes?" Harry replied, slightly sheepish. Dudley leaned against the kitchen counter, looking on the verge of either having a stroke, a heart attack, or a brain aneurysm at any given second. "All this... you experienced all of this bullshit, and I was being an arse to you..." Dudley muttered, looking deeply disappointed with himself. "You didn't know Dudley, also you were just a kid raised with the wrong mindset, you didn't know what you were doing." Harry sighed.
His blonde cousin stared at him like he was some sort of saint sent from the heavens above, which was a look that Harry was tired of because being 'the boy who lived' and the chosen one did that. He wondered how long it would take for the wizarding world to figure out that it wasn't really him who vanquished the dark lord when he was an infant because that's just ridiculous.
He was tired, really really tired of being the chosen one.
The oven dinged and suddenly Harry could feel the bone-deep tiredness seeping into his bones, Dudley seemed to recognize this because he took the initiative to put on a mitten and take the baking tray out of the oven, the pleasant scent of fully baked chocolate chip cookies wafted out of the oven. Harry was so glad that they miraculously didn't burn anything even though this was Dudley's first time baking.
His muggle cousin set the burning baking tray on the kitchen counter and Harry suppressed the urge to grab one cookie to eat. The metal of the baking tray pressed heat against his fingertips.
"you can tell them that you baked these for them," Harry exclaimed, offering an explanation that would seem plausible to his cousin's parents. Petunia and Vernon would definitely believe Dudley if he claimed that he baked the chocolate chip cookies without any help. They would shriek and screech if they heard that he played a part in baking them.
They would probably think that he enchanted them to do something funny.
If Dudley baked them, however, oh they would devour them whole even if they tasted like rat poison and they were on the verge of choking to death. They would praise his cousin and feed his ego until it inflated to the size of Jupiter. They would rant to anyone on and on about how great their little Dudleykins was and how he was oh-so-talented and og so good to his parents.
The thought of it alone made Harry want to puke.
His cousin seemed to be thinking the same thing because he cringed and a look of disgust flashed on his face. "I hate acting like the pompous arrogant egocentric spoiled brat that I was before," he complained a little before huffing. "But I guess that's my punishment for treating you like shit all those years." he chuckled, self-deprecative and slightly frustrated.
Silence choked the air, a million thoughts rushing in both their heads. Baking chocolate chip cookies didn't fix everything, spending time in the kitchen and talking about their lives and futures didn't fix everything.
They needed to patch their relationship up, piece by piece.
Harry knew that.
But it didn't mean that he had to accept it.
The muggle took the initiative, breaking the ice as well as the silence in the air. "So, you'll be moving out by Sunday right? Is there any way I can... keep in contact?" Dudley asked, eyes looking anywhere but Harry as he fidgeted and twiddled his thumbs. Harry's mind drifted back to the muggle phone that Remus had purchased for him, saying that it would make communication with muggle friends easier.
Harry had a tiny feeling that Remus knew that this was going to happen eventually, he should give something nice to his uncle, maybe he'd leave it in the bedroom, as long as Remus and Sirius didn't do anything in there.
"Yeah, sure, hold on I'll grab a piece of paper." Harry replied, quickly retrieving a small piece of paper and scribbling his new number on it. Dudley stared incredulously at the number, eyebrows raised. "Since when did you have a phone?" he questioned, well aware that Petunia and Vernon would never do this for him. Harry just sent him a lazy smirk.
"One of my new guardians bought me a phone," he replied, the lingering question of why a muggle form of technology was needed when they already had wizarding technology hung in the air but was never voiced. Instead, his cousin's face fell at the reminder that Harry was no longer going to be staying with the Dursleys and was going to be moving in with his godfather, his rightful guardian.
Tears pricked the corners of Dudley's eyes. "I...I think I'm going to miss you, ya know." Dudley admitted wiping away his unshed tears. Harry snorted but his shoulders felt lighter at his cousin's admission. Wasn't that a novelty? To miss someone that you didn't really know, to miss the person who you tormented and made sure their life was a living hell?
Harry smiled a bittersweet thing that held some acceptance.
"I think I'm gonna miss you too, big D."
( They spend the last few remaining days of the week together, with Dudley sneaking more food for Harry when his parents aren't looking, he sneaks into Harry's bedroom which should've been his from the start with Harry's permission and they spend many late nights just talking and talking on and on about their lives, their futures, who they want to be, what they want to be, the things they want to do, what they were doing in the present, their classmates, their teachers, their classmates, their friends, and their relationships. Dudley's got a girl he has his eye on and Harry's got Draco, which surprises his cousin but Dudley just accepts it with a smile and a reassuring "Love whoever you want to love." that definitely was not taught to him by Petunia and Vernon. Harry shows his muggle cousin a few things from his textbooks and parchment, there is only wonder and curiosity in Dudley's eyes, no disgust or revulsion as Harry patiently explains some things in a hushed tone in order not to wake the two sleeping beasts. For the first time in rather long, they are happy.)