He is sitting alone in this room full, empty bottles of firewhisky next to him. He cried. He is still crying. He is drunk. He is sad. He is alone.
He is the last Marauders alive. It’s true that Peter, this traitor, is still alive but he’s not a Marauders anymore.
Sirius is dead. He died in front of him. He can still see Sirius slowly falling into this strange veil after being hit by the curse of Bellatrix.
Sirius is dead. He will never see again his smile, his beautiful grey eyes, the way his face changes every time he sees Harry. He will neve hear again the sound of his voice, his laugh, when he sings in the shower thinking that nobody can hear him. They will never kiss again. He will never hear him again saying how much he loves him.
He remembers the first time Sirius told that he loves him. It was at the end of their 5th year, just before they joined their parents for the holidays.
He also remembers the time where he was stupid enough to believe that he betrayed James and Lily and killed Peter. He still hates himself for that.
He misses Sirius. How long has Sirius been dead ? He doesn’t know. He lost track of time. He wants to see him. He needs him.
Maybe, if he dies, he can see him again. It’s not worth it to live alone, especially after that he loses everything, again.
Someone knocks on the door.
“Remus ? Are you there ?”
“No, leave me alone.”
“I want to bring you some food.”
“I don’t want to eat. Please go.”
“I know you’re in. I know it’s hard for you but you need to eat something. Everyone is worried about you.”
No answer.
“I come in.”
Bill opens the door. He sees Remus laying on the floor, crying. Around him, there are so many bottles of firewhisky that Bil is surprised that he still hasn’t passed out.
Bill sits next to Remus.
“Remus, you’re not alone you know ? If you need help, there will always be people here to try to help you. You can talk with everyone here. And if you don’t want to talk to a member of the order, why not try to find a therapist ? It will help you to deal with what you are going through. You can always try. You have nothing to lose. It’s not by drinking that all your problems are gonna fly away.”
No answer.
“If you want, I can go.”
“Please stay… I… I need help… please”