And They Were Poets

Sirius and Peter's birthdays were only a month apart, thus giving everyone an excuse as to why not put all the decorations away and rearrange the common room to its same old glory. But this day, unlike the earlier month, was the day of the full moon. The day when Remus felt the worse not only mentally but physically. His old scars would also reopen from time to time if the pain was too much for such a small body to handle.

The third of November passed and Remus was not there to celebrate Sirius’ birthday. He couldn’t say whether it was a good or bad thing. He did hear about the party from James later though. It was a smaller get-together with only one person being celebrated meaning mostly only Gryffindors were there with the small addition of Jack and some of her Hufflepuff friends, of course.

Congratulations were given, presents were given, and a not-so-surprise party was thrown.

That’s how Remus heard it all at least but understanding everything James says when he was excited was a sport in itself so that definitely was not all of it.

Sirius wasn’t in the dorm when Remus returned the next morning. It wasn’t odd, the boy had learned— Sirius woke up at the crack of dawn, most mornings. James and Peter were still in bed though which was stranger since Sirius and James seemed to be stuck at the hip, going absolutely everywhere together. They even slept in the same bed sometimes.

Sirius didn’t go to class that day.

Peter said he’d been called by his cousin for tea for his birthday and hadn’t returned. Family matters, they thought, and decided against picking him up. The next day passed quite the same, Sirius nowhere to be seen. Classes went by and the teachers asked Room 14 to pass on everything they’d talked about to the missing boy but it was quite hard with no one knowing where he was. Narcissa still seemed to be going to class regularly and during time in the great hall, was often spotted eyeing the Gryffindor table, like even she didn’t know where her cousin had gone.

It was only proven when after dinner one evening, she caught up to Remus with Lucius at her heel whose hair was still a faded green. “Have you seen Sirius?” Narcissa asked, her smile bitter as her eyes wandered between the first-year Gryffindors.

James raised his eyebrows, “Not since you called him. Why? Is he okay? I knew something was wrong, we should have—” He started babbling, his voice fast.

Narcissa sighed, glancing at her boyfriend who was giving her a look that said “Told you so”. She shook her head, turning back, “No, he’s fine. This happened often when we discussed marriage at home, he’ll return soon, I’d say.”

Peter gawked, his mouth hanging wide open, “marriage? Like- like he’s gonna get married?”

“To my knowledge, tha’s what it stands fer, congrats y’ain’t deaf,” Remus said.

“Shut it, smart mouth,” Peter grumbled while James only laughed awkwardly in between them— like he didn’t want to be there but he also didn’t want to leave.

Narcissa clearing of throat which got all their attention to return back to her. She shook her head, “He’s not. Not yet, anyway. Aunty has just been pressing the matter as of late and said she’s looking at good enough suitors. He's going to be handed off to be married in the next two years, I’d say.”

The silence that came after was deafening. The Gryffindors switched gazes among each other, sparing a few glances at the two fifth-year Slytherins before them who had just told them their friend would be engaged to be married possibly before he could even call himself a teenager. And from the looks Peter and James had, Remus could positively say that it was not normal even in the wizarding world.

There was no time to question this sudden bomb drop because only a moment later, both Lucius and Narcissa were rushing back to the dungeons not even waiting to hear what the Gryffindors had (or wanted) to say.

Sirius didn’t appear for the next week. Narcissa did everything in her power to avoid every single Gryffindor with Lucius protecting her from them (mostly with yelling and threats but protecting nonetheless).

It was on the evening of November eleventh, 1971, while the others were up to whatever they always were and Remus was alone in the dorm, working on his assignment for transfiguration when the door was slammed open.

Remus’ gaze lifted from his textbook and landed on Sirius, whose makeup was mushed everywhere on his face, and somehow also found itself on his neck. He’d lost the sleeve of his shirt (literally, it was just gone), his hair was almost as greasy as Snape’s meaning his usual curls weren’t there either, his eyes were bloodshot, he was covered in mud, and his sleeveless arm was painted with scratches.

He met Remus’ gaze and glared, head held high as if he didn’t look like a homeless mongrel (Remus would know, because technically speaking he was). Sirius stayed silent as he stomped over to his bed that lay beside James’, letting himself fall onto it face first.

“The fuck you want?” Sirius murmured, turning his head to eye back at the only other person in the room. His voice was hoarse and dry and loud and it sounded like he hadn’t spoken in days, “fucking hell, mate, I ain’t that interesting. Look away now.” He said a few minutes after when Remus still hadn’t moved his gaze from him.

Remus lifted his gaze away after that and turned back to the textbook on his lap. He was far too unfocused now to understand a word though. What he read went to his ear and out the other. He gave up around an hour later.

Sighing, Remus closed the book and fit it onto his nightstand along with his quill and parchment. His eyes found their way to Sirius, who had fallen asleep sometime in the previous hour. If you didn’t notice the small raising of his chest, he could easily have been mistaken for dead.

It was only around four or five in the afternoon, meaning the others would likely not be back for some time. Wes was gone most days and only returned when it was time to sleep (in his schedule that was around 2 or 3 in the morning) and this day was no different, while James and Peter had gone somewhere after lunch and Remus had refused to join them in whatever they were planning on.

A minute or so passed and the thing that finally was successful to snap Remus out of his thoughts was the loud growl that came from Sirius’ stomach. Trying to ignore it only failed as it grew louder every time. It was almost as loud as the morning bell when Remus gave up waiting for it to calm down and dragged himself from under his covers.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, shaking the smaller boy. He looked much more frail close up, more than he usually did, that was. He’d never really eaten much so it wasn’t a surprise with how frail he was but this was next level. Nothing he’d looked like before.

Sirius groaned after a while, shoving Remus’ hand away, “fuck off, ‘m sleeping.” He muttered, yawning and pressing his face into his pillow.

“Sirius.” Remus repeated, “How long has it been since you last ate?” He asked, looking down at the still mud-covered boy.

Sirius blinked open his eyes, yawning once more, “A week, I s’pose, why?” His eyes watered and his voice sounded so innocent. Like how an eleven-year-old should sound. Not like how he’d sounded the hour prior.

“Bloody buggering fuck.” Remus muttered to himself, mostly. “What do you want? I’ll get you something.”

“No,” Sirius lazily waved his arm before flopping it down next to him, “‘M not hungry.” He spoke slow and quietly as he’d never done in the while Remus had known him. He was usually energetic (unless it was concerning family) about everything.

Remus sighed, giving up trying to talk to him and just dragging his feet to the door and then down the steep stairs that led away from the boys’ dorm rooms. The common room was filled with people, tapestries, and candy wrappers all around the floor while the chairs and tables had lazily been placed very wrongly in their correct spots.

The sitting room was filled mostly with seventh and fifth-year students studying for their exams coming up sometime later in the school year. First years were most weekends out, still exploring the castle in parts they were unfamiliar with, which was why it surprised Remus when he laid eyes on Lily.

She wasn’t the exploring kind, but she was with Snape or in the library every weekend, so it was odd to see her in the common room so early. It didn’t take long until their eyes met.

Lily’s smile grew on her lips and up to her ears, “Remus, it’s not six already, is it?” She asked, worried, looking around for a clock.

Remus shook his head, “No, yer fine.” He only ever really came out of the dorms when food was served, so it had become a ritual for his friends to know it was time for food just based on when he came down. “What ‘bout yeh, had a fight with Snape or sumthin’?”

“Sev?” Lily laughed, “Oh, no! We’re fine, I think. Just working on our charm assignment.” Well, that explained it. Madam Pince was never a fan of magic being used in the library unless it was absolutely necessary.

Remus hummed, his eyes landing on the other two by the table, “Mary?” He asked, “Where’s Wes?”

The oldest raised her head from the conversation with Marlene, “Away.” Was her explanation, a smile plastered on her lips as if that told all there was to know.

Remus only nodded, taking a few steps back in the direction of the portrait. “Oh, can I ask yeh a favor?” He asked, gaining the attention of all the girls. He was never an ask a favor kind of guy. “Can yeh get Sirius to go take a bath for meh?”

“Sirius? You found him?” Lily asked, her tone a relieved but annoyed one.

Remus nodded, “If I get ‘im sum to eat, can yeh?” He asked, slightly hopeful so he wouldn’t have to be the one to try and wake him.

Lily spared Mary a glance but before either could say a word, Marlene perked up, “I’ll go.” 

“No, you can't just avoid—” Lily started but Remus interrupted,

“I’ll do yer transfig’ration paper?”

“On it.” Marlene smiled and was already heading up to the boys' dorm in only the blink of an eye.

“Room 14, just down the hall!” Remus called after her, earning a thumbs-up from the girl. He then turned back and sent another apologetic look Lily’s way. “I really am sorry, y’know.”

Lily only shook her head, giving Remus a sympathetic smile, “It’s fine, I know you’re just worried about your friend.”

Remus only nodded, not caring to correct the ‘friend’ part. Bidding bye to the two girls, Remus was back on his way down to the kitchens. Dinner wouldn’t be served until two hours later so he was glad to have been one of the people to be sent down there to pick up Peter's birthday feast, meaning he already knew the way without having to second guess himself or asking people for directions.

Requesting an early piece of dinner wasn’t really that hard. The house elves seemed absolutely eccentric to be able to help students in need and even put their work to rest just to do the request first. Remus tried saying there was no hurry (even when there most obviously was) but none of the house elves listened and just had Remus sit by the door and wait.

It didn’t take long at all but with how awkward Remus felt, he felt that it took hours. Just sitting there and watching elves put on more work they shouldn’t have to handle. But they also refused any help Remus tried offering and stopped all work until he sat back down.

Remus was handed a box filled with dinner the other students would be eating later. An elf, whose name Remus had long since forgotten, gave him a second box just for him to eat. He hadn’t had the time to ask why because the elf had already returned to his work.

Remus left the kitchens and found himself missing his map. He’d already marked the kitchens and the way back to the common room so it would have been helpful to have it at hand. But he’d left it in the upper drawer of his nightstand.

Eventually, he did find his way back to the Gryffindor tower, though it took much longer than getting down. Whispering the password, he was let back into the common room. The girls were nowhere to be seen but everyone else who’d been there when he left still were.

No one even seemed to wonder about the two huge lunch boxes Remus carried in his arms.

Remus found Marlene laying like a starfish on the floor in their dorm room. Somehow, she had been able to get Sirius out of bed, and from the sounds of it, she’d even convinced him to go shower. How she’d done that? Remus wanted to know.

He placed the supper down on his bed and noticed that Marlene had already brought her transfiguration materials for him. He sighed, turning to the girl who was just aimlessly staring at the ceiling. “Mckinnon.”

This seemed to snap Marlene out of whatever thoughts she’d been having and it took a while until her eyes found Remus. She hadn’t noticed him coming in and so she let a smile take over her lips. “Lupin!” She sounded scarily excited at the sighting. “As you requested.” She turned her tone into a mocking noble type and sat herself up only to dramatically bow, pointing towards the toilet. “It is now your turn, my lovely amazing favourite—”

“Okay, okay, I got it.” Remus raised his hands up in defeat, “I’ll do yer essay.”

“But I wasn’t done praising you yet!” Marlene pouted and Remus rolled his eyes. “But, hey, you got food?”

“Yes, and no, yer not allowed teh ‘ave any.” Remus laughed as the girl crossed her hands over her chest and started muttering something to herself.

From the short time that Remus had known Marlene, he could confidently say he liked her. She reminded him of back home and something about that with the strangeness of everything else, was rather comforting. So with it all, the girl must have been one of the very few people Remus could look at and say that he felt comfortable around them.

It took probably longer than it was healthy until Sirius finally stepped out of the restroom. He was bare-faced now, which was quite a rare sight, especially during the day, though he never showed his face after his terrible (and yes, no one still had had the courage to tell him how it looked) makeup was removed.

The mud was also gone as was the stench with it, his hair was a mess of damp curls, and the black circles under his eyes had popped with the makeup gone. Despite how he’d looked only a while before, a toothy grin took over his face when he noticed Remus, whose breath hitched immediately when they made eye contact.

What Sirius wore now were a boring long-sleeved black shirt and jeans at least three times far too big. They were the same clothes he wore every weekend, Remus wasn’t even sure he owned anything else at that point.

He flopped down to Remus’ bed, his hands going above his head as he stretched and yawned. Pretty, was undeniably Remus’ first thought upon seeing this. It wasn’t anything odd though, any person who didn’t find Sirius at least slightly pretty had to have something wrong with their head.

It took a few seconds until Sirius finally decided to acknowledge the two others in the room. He sat up and brushed a hand through his hair, “yo yo, sorry for the trouble.”

There was only silence as an answer.

Remus turned to Marlene, “How d’ yeh do that?”

The girl raised her eyebrow in a questioning matter and tilted her hair, “did what?”

“I tried wakin’ ‘im up and he told me to fuck off.”

Marlene laughed at that, her face filling with fulfillment, “guess that makes me better than you, then.”

“I don’t remember you doing that?” Sirius said.

“I’ve turned invisible.” Remus sighed, shaking his head. “Gone from memory.”

Sirius’ face grew red, “No- that’s not what I-”

“It’s alright to speak the truth, Black. There’s no harm done.” Marlene grinned, still sitting on the floor, cross-legged.

“No, there’s-” Sirius spoke, but a screech from the direction of the door interrupted, the boy's words going unheard under it.

All three turned their heads simultaneously to find James standing by the door, mouth gaping open. He looked at Remus and then pointed at Sirius as if he needed every possible detail about how exactly he’d returned.

Right behind him stood both Peter and Wes. Wes had his mouth open in an ‘o’ while Peter just looked happy to see Sirius, his dimples were showing.

James, who was unable to say a word as he was frozen, had Peter do the talking instead, “Evans came and told us.” He explained, nodding in James’ direction, “We came as fast as we could, though he didn’t seem to really believe it.”

Sirius scoffed from over on his seat, “I mean I can leave again if that’s what you-” Apparently no one was letting Sirius finish any of his sentences that day because before he could continue, James was tangling him in a hug.

Remus sighed and let himself fall onto the floor alongside Marlene who only grinned at him in response. He made note to be sure to officially thank her again when he’d been able to get enough rest to be able to have conversations again.

He didn’t know when, but apparently, he’d dozed off soon after and found himself waking up in his own bed. He groaned, raising his arm to his forehead. He didn’t actually have time to think about how long it had passed when Marlene popped up in his view, towering over him.

She had on her familiar smile and strands of her long blond hair fell over her face, “Morning.” She said, taking Remus’ hand and helping him to sit up. His body was sore all over and his clothes were drenched in sweat.

“Hi,” Remus muttered, shaking his head to clear away the fogginess of it. “How long was I out?” He asked, a yawn escaping him.

“Fifteen years.” Marlene shrugged nonchalantly, “around an hour I think. Sirius went back to sleep after he finished eating and the others went to dinner in the great hall.” And then noticing Remus’ concern, she added, “I shared his food with him so no need to worry, I shall not go hungry tonight.” And then she exhaled dramatically.

“Why’re yeh still ‘ere then?” Remus asked.

Marlene looked appalled at the question, “To make sure you didn’t choke on your own spit.” She said with a fake German accent, being a bit over the top. That must have been how she’d gotten Sirius out of bed, the two were just far too similar. She must have all the ways.

“Why thank you, yer royal majesty.” Remus rolled his eyes, rubbing at his eyes for the sleep to leave them. “But yeh may leave now, fer I did not choke on my own spit.”

“I see.” Marlene sighed in fake disappointment, “I shall take my leave now.” She did a fancy little bow and then left the dorm room.

Remus was now alone if you ignored the sleeping body of Sirius. He flopped back to his back and groaned. He was tired and he didn’t want anyone else to hear the exhausted breaths he took every second. They were deep and fast and they made him feel sick.