Lunacy

Regulus’ heart was racing, her blood was pumping, and she felt the heavy weight in her stomach. The reality of seeing her parents had finally sunk in, and her mind was going through multiple scenarios that could happen, never settling on one and each getting progressively worse than the previous one. Regulus clenched her fists, hating that she was feeling anxious at seeing her parents when she had dealt with worse situations. She walked down the corridor, her muscles more tense and rigid than usual; adrenaline filled her system as she pushed to override her need to run.

Regulus stumbled as she reached the door, as her lungs fought to breathe. Gods, she was so pathetic, she wouldn’t flinch at a severed body part, but the thought of seeing her parents again sent her into a spiral of emotions.

Pushing the door open, Regulus’ breath stuttered, her eyes turned glassy, and she fought the need to pick at her fingernails. Regulus breathed deeply as she forcefully uncoiled herself, and a mask of indifference quickly filtered her face. She wouldn’t feel uneasy in her home; Regulus refused to. She had already slipped up in front of Kreacher, albeit she wasn’t in her right mind at that moment, but she wouldn’t slip up again. How would Regulus handle the Dark Lord if she could hardly handle her parents? 

“Regulus, mon cœur,” Her Mother greeted her with an affectionate smile―It was not the fake ones she used in the charities with Lords and Ladies of other noble houses, nor the cold, indifferent ones she used for those she thought below her.― it was reserved for only her and sometimes her father; she rarely smiled at Sirius because every time they spoke, it turned into a fight. Her smile reached her eyes as if she was happy to see her; it almost made Regulus pause; her mother hadn’t smiled as freely since Sirius had run away, she barely smiled at all, and Regulus could count on one hand how many barely there smiles she had gifted Regulus. “Are you feeling better?”

The question was asked in worry, but there was an underline of happiness that Regulus assumed was from seeing her again; it was a stark difference from the bitter mad woman she had grown accustomed to. Regulus had almost forgotten how kindly her Mother had talked to her, a stark contrast from the cold and distant tone. Her Mother looked like the embodiment of perfection; there were no wrinkles from stress or dark circles under her eyes. She looked beautiful in her perfectly fit robes, and her lovely black hair was gently pinned back with no grey hair sight. Regulus couldn’t stop staring at her Mother; she had changed rapidly due to the stress of losing her only son; Regulus forgot how lovely she looked, so different from a walking corpse.

“Yes, Maman.” The lie smoothly fell from her lips; Regulus formed a painfully fake smile, still reeling at her Mother’s appearance. Regulus was starting to doubt her ability to fool her parents; while in the past they got increasingly paranoid each day, Regulus knew how to deceit them because they kept her at arm’s length; now, her parents were still incredibly attentive to her, primarily because of the family reputation, although it was mixed with parental affection, they could have easily seen through her. Her Mother, however, was busy preparing green tea―Which was strange because she detested it and only drank it when sick.― to notice, and her father was transfixed in ‘The Daily Prophet’to see.

“How about you? Are you well?” Regulus asked, eyeing the tea with concern. Walburga hummed in agreement before passing Regulus the green tea. Regulus stared at the tea transfixed; the possibility of it being for her hadn’t crossed her mind; it was sad; she realised, four years ago, Regulus wouldn’t have blinked at her Mother taking care of her now she was used to her Mother being so lost in her mind to take notice of her health. It made Regulus wonder about the affection she missed if she was startled that her Mother had fixed her green tea to make her feel better.

Her father let out an aggravated sigh as he put the paper down, eyes going towards her Mother, “Another raid; three muggles dead; sometimes I really question the intelligence of some people. Killing mudbloods is hardly the perfect way to show them Dark Magic isn’t evil. You’d think they were Gryffindors with how stubbornly they stuck to a course of action that keeps driving them from their cause.”

Regulus finally had a good look at her Father; his changes weren’t as severe as her Mother’s because he hadn’t had the chance to properly age as she had due to his untimely death, but the difference was also there. He looked healthier than when she had last seen him, but that was a given, seeing as the last time Regulus got a look at her Father was at his funeral when he was a cold corpse. He looked younger, with no wrinkle lines engraved into his face or grey hair in sight. He still had a mischievous look identical to Sirius whenever he was up to no good. It made her grip her cup tightly; her Father slowly declined with the war and Sirius’ disownment.

Regulus pushed Sirius at the back of her mind and pulled herself together. She hummed and casually said, “Some people might argue calling them mudbloods is controversial and prejudiced.” Orion did a double take at his only daughter and looked at her in surprise, “When did you get heremy petite étoile? You should be in bed resting.” His tone was gentle. And it almost wrecked her to hear an endearment she hadn’t heard in a long time. Regulus’ heart clenched at the affection her Father showed her. However close she might have been with her Mother, Orion had a particular spot in her heart that grew even more when Regulus realised she had a new chance to get her Father back. Regulus realised she was starting to lose herself again and tried to act more normal by taking a bite out of her toast; she smiled softly towards her Father, before going back to her tea. 

“Dear, she’s been resting for the past several days; eating breakfast with us isn’t going to kill her or us”, Walburga reminded him as she reached for a second slice of toast and spread some marmalade on it. “Yes, but Wally, she should stay in bed until she’s recovered; I don’t want to risk her health.”

Walburga glared at her husband; her eyes looked ready to kill, “How many times have I told you not to call me that horrid name?—”

“As many times I’ve told you, I wasn’t going to stop calling you ‘Wally’; it’s a tone of endearment.”

Walburga let a low hiss and pointed threateningly at Orion with her knife, “You see that I’m holding a knife, oui? Don’t make me attach your hand to the table with it. Besides knowing Regulus, she’s probably going crazy being stuck in her room.” Walburga shot her a knowing look; Regulus was looking fixedly at her tea, disconnected from the people around her, making Walburga frown. It’s been a while since Regulus had seen and heard their friendly bickering. She had gotten used to the vile insults they hurled at each other, trying to see who could cut each other deeper. Orion rolled his eyes, “How well would you say you know her? Certainly not better than me.”

“Excuse me? I was the one who carried her in my stomach for nine months and went through fourteen hours of horrendously agonising labour for her. What have you done?” Walburga’s voice started to rise, and Regulus realised her Mother was close to the point of screeching, and by the look on her Father’s face, he seemed to realise it too.

Clearing his throat, Orion adjusted his collar, “Where is Sirius again?” he said with a wince. Regulus side-eyed her Father; that was a poorly concealed attempt at a subject change, but it made her feel better about slipping up in front of Kreacher; her Mother was hardly impressed with her Father either as she raised her eyebrow at him before muttering a quiet, ‘pathetic’ under her breath and aggressively biting into her toast.

“Surely you felt the wards letting him leave? Although it was at an ungodly hour, the shift woke me up.” Walburga scorned the thought of something disturbing her sleep; Walburga Black was no morning person unless she needed to be. “His room is practically bare, except those disgusting posters he insists have to be on his wall.” Regulus piped up, having an identical scowl as her Mother, trying to relax before anyone could point out her unusually rigid posture. She didn’t know how she would handle Sirius's disownment this time, but Regulus had to make sure it ended with her parents supporting her and her decisions even if she had to paint Sirius in a bad light, although truth be told, he did that by himself with no help from her.

“Ah yes, Fleamont had written to me; he had some colourful words in his letter; I have no idea what could cause that reaction; it’s not like we abuse the boy,” Orion said, scowling as he recalled the letter that he burnt, “Just because we don’t coddle him like Regulus doesn’t warrant a threat of calling the Aurors on us. My Father was much softer on Lucretia than me, but that was because she was his ‘little girl’ just as Regulus is my petite étoile”. Regulus preened at the praise, she had definitely missed her Father, and it was no secret that his Father had always been softer on Regulus than Sirius, but babies were always a soft spot in her family; it just so happened that was Regulus. Although she did hide a wince at the mention of the letter; apparently, Sirius had already told the Potters that they wanted him to join the Dark Lord’s ranks, probably formicating a narrative of them being one of their biggest supporters which was false; they were only discussing the possibility of joining his stance politically, but Sirius was a bit to hot headed to get all the information before acting rashly.

Walburga sniffed; “Sirius has always been a jealous boy; we just gave him what he wanted when he wanted. Unsurprisingly, others hardly see it; I like to see them try to raise him, an unruly boy.” She stabbed a piece of fruit with her fork and glared at Orion, “I still don’t understand why we let him go off to the Potters; they are dreadful company. Euphemia questions my parenting every time we see her as if her child isn’t running around harassing a mudblood in the school walls.” Orion looked at his wife bemusedly, half agreeing, “You forget that Aunt Dorea is a Potter, has been for over a good thirty-three years.”

“Yes, and they ran her off to France with her husband; they didn’t want her to corrupt their son and almost started a blood feud at the insinuation we were bad blood,” Regulus replied, hiding a smirk behind her napkin as she looked pointedly at her Father; safe to say, she was hardly a fan of the Potters. Walburga turned sour at the reminder of them shaming her family and looked at her husband triumphantly as he sighed heavily, snatching a piece of fruit from her plate. “None of us has forgotten, Dearest; trust me, Pollux hasn’t shut up about them shaming his sister.” Walburga narrowed her eyes as she cleaned her mouth, “Please, you’re lucky my Father is only talking; you would have done much worse if it was Lucretia.” Orion could hardly deny it; he wouldn’t tolerate anyone disrespecting his sister; his Father would have demanded their heads, “How can I defend myself when you both are against me?”

Walburga gives her husband a blinding smile as she stands up, which makes him melt into resignation. "Regulus, I have been invited to a tea party with the Rosiers, so I must go and prepare—"

"You mean primp?" Orion muttered sullenly.

"—and your father has to go into the ministry today, so you will be alone in the house today, and of course, Kreacher will be with you as well," Walburga said, strategically ignoring her husband's accusation because she could not decline his claim. "Darling, if you're going to stay out of bed today, please stay in one place; I don't want you to over-exert yourself; the library should do. As much as it pains me to say your father is partially right, you don't look fully recovered." Her Mother said as a smile flickered on his Father’s face at being proven right.

“A subtle way to say I look hideous,” Regulus thought as she watched her Mother walk over to her side of the table and laid a kiss on her cheek before whispering in her ear, “I’ll be back as soon as I possibly can, Lady Parkinson is at attending, and I fear if I stay in her presence, I’ll lose brain cells by the minute.”

Regulus automatically tensed when her Mother’s lips landed on her cheek, but she knew she couldn’t let her emotions be displayed on her face; slowing down the hysteria that tried to crawl up her throat, Regulus tried to look unaffected by the fact her Mother had kissed her.

“Save me one of Aunt Vinda’s lemon cakes? Oh, and send my Regards as well,” Regulus asked, trying to sound as relaxed as possible; Walburga smiled in delight at her child, “Knowing Vinny, she’d have a whole tub full just for you.” However, there was a trace of searching in Walburga’s eyes as if trying to detect if something was wrong with Regulus. But before she could figure it out, Orion distracted her with a pensive look and a question, “Which one is Parkinson? Is she the one with that curse on her bloodline and that ugly blonde but not really blonde hair?”

"No, that's Lady Goyle," Walburga said as she straightened herself out, "Oh, then, is she the one with those awful merlin teeth? I never understood why she wouldn't fix them." Orion mused as he continued to eat leisurely.

"That's Yaxley." Walburga deadpanned.

“Then is she already balding? The one with the stumpy-looking son?” Orion asked, a look of confusion on his face as he strained to remember Lady Parkinson. Walburga rolled her eyes, “That’s Lady Crabbe, and they should really have that young man sent to a Healer.”

"Didn't you go to school with these people, Papa?" Regulus raised an eyebrow at him, the name a foreign thing to her tongue; as she recovered from the unsuspected kiss; Orion flushed slightly, "Well, some of them graduated before me, and you can't expect me to remember all of them."

“Really? I thought that was your job as Lord Black or any member of House Black to know all the names of influential families, or did I waste time learning all of those names?” Regulus pretended to speak to herself as she teased her father; she was doing a fine job at acting, but Regulus’s skin started getting itchy, and she had to get out of there before breaking down in the middle of the dining room. She could feel her sanity slipping as she acted like a happy child.

Orion narrowed his eyes playfully, “Pardon me, my little know-it-all; I assume you know who Parkinson is?” Regulus nodded in faked self-assurance that family stood out, not in a good way, “She resembles one of those awful dogs with wrinkles and salivating problems; Evan called them ‘Pugs’ but looked like demonic animals to me.”

Walburga laughed, "They really do; it's almost as if they breed them into their bloodline." Walburga continued laughing as she made her way out of the room. Regulus was disgusted by the remark, but her mask of indifference was still in place; Orion, however, had screwed his face up and shot a disgusted look to his wife, "Wally, please, that's disgusting, and Regulus is right here."

"Au revoir", Walburga waved her husband off as she exited the room.

Regulus breathed heavily before she rose from her seat, "Are you alright, star?" Asked Orion, "You seemed tense."

Regulus gave a stiff nod, "Yes, fathe- papa," she corrected herself, "The food didn't agree with me." Orion frowned with the apparent correction before nodding, "Well, if you feel that unwell, I suppose we have to reschedule your occlumency lessons."

That made Regulus freeze; the thought of someone invading her mind made her want to vomit, "Occlumency?" Orion looked at her worriedly, "Yes, your mother and I agreed that you should start the lessons before your fifth year; your family ring can only do so much. You’re showing a lot of promise in the art. Are you sure you're alright, mon âme?"

Clearing her throat, Regulus nodded swiftly, "Yes, apologies, this sickness is making me a bit hazy." Orion stood up, quickly reaching Regulus, "Do you want me to call a healer, mon trésor?"

Regulus flinched away from his touch, hurt-coated Orion's face. Regulus cursed herself mentally at her mistake, "No, thanks, I think I'll just head to the library." Orion looked as if he wanted to say more, but Regulus turned around and practically ran away from her father, leaving a concerned Orion behind.