Sunny
REMUS
“Tell me something you found really annoying about him.”
“Why?”
“So I can remind you of it when you get all sad.”
“I don’t get all sad.”
“Just tell me something.”
“..He was a social butterfly.”
“And?”
“What do you mean and ? He was, and I was not. He loved meeting new people and snogging with pretty girls and talking. Fucking talked like the next one breathed, he did. He was forward. And I was not.”
“Snogged with pretty girls? What does that have to do with anything?”
“I, fuck, I dont know? He was outwards and he always went for the pretty girls and made them think he was gonna get in their pants and then he never did. Just a tease, you know?”
“But what does that have to do with him being a social butterfly? Why did it bother you that he snogged pretty girls without getting in their pants?”
“What are you getting at, Lily?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what you are getting at.”
Remus feel itchy. His skin is crawling. It could be the heat. Could be the talking subject. Lily continues on, as if she hasn't noticed how uncomfortable the discussion makes Remus feel.
“Maybe, yes, just maybe..You were jealous?”
"Jealous? Nah, I never wanted to snog pretty girls.”
“But maybe you wanted to be the pretty girl being snogged?”
Yes, the sticky itchy feeling sweeping over Remus’ skin is definitely not the heat. He’s just about to tell Lily that she can stick something up her arse when a screech so hoars it can only be Bartys, echos over the train station. Not more than fifteen seconds later, the man in question comes running with Mary and Evan sprinting close behind.
“Give it bAck!”
Evan is launching at Barty as if to hew him down. He looks properly pissed off. Mary, on the other hand, is laughing, holding herself over the stomach, folding over in giggles.
“Sharing is caring! You care don’t you, you care abou-”
Barty falls to the ground with Evan on top of him. The soda he was holding now spilled all over the platform. He turns around so he's on his back and Evan straddles him. Closed fists start to punch Barty over the chest. Could be playful, could also very much not be. You never know with Mr Rosier.
“You dropped it, you twat!”
Punch
“You dropped it. It was my root beer!”
Punch
“I asked if I could have a sip!”
Barty takes Evans' wrists in both hands and holds them over him. He’s laughing hysterically.
“And I said NO!”
They keep on bickering in the same position for a while. Remus isn't really paying attention though. In a while, they will start kissing and then most likely start to bicker again. Evan and Barty aren't together. But they aren't not together either. On-off, back and forth. They will never not be intertwined. They will always end up beside each other. They don’t put labels on it because they like to keep it complicated, that's Remus theory at least.
Sometimes, Barty has his tongue in somebody else's mouth. Sometimes he probably fucks other people too. This is, in Remus' opinion, a very shitty thing to do. Barty loves Evan. Anybody and everybody with eyes can see that. Barty would never choose anybody over Evan, and still, he can't be man enough to commit. Evan has never kissed anybody else. Never so much as flirted with somebody who’s not Barty. One time at a party, Rems found Evan crying so hard in a corner that he had a hard time breathing. Remus inhaler had been the rescuer. It had probably been a placebo. Because, well, Evan doesn't have asthma.
Anyways, Barty had been kissing Evan, asking him to come home with him. Evan had gone to grab his jacket then proceeded to come back to Crouch having his hand on somebody else's crotch . Funny wordplay, depressing sight. Remus had punched Barty. Because Remus' solution is always to punch and hit and destroy, then run. One swing at Barty, then he had grabbed Evans’ hand and ran out the door. They had never spoken of the incident afterwards.
They never really spoke of the situation at all. Except sometimes, when Evan came by with swollen eyes or when he called, weeping, in the middle of the night. Then they spoke around the subject. Not poking the pain but rather putting a blanket over it.
“He’s a bitch and a whore and you deserve better”.
“I don’t want better.”
“I know.”
“I thought he wanted me.”
“I think he does.”
“Then why-”
“Fuck him, Evan.”
“Then I’ll get an STD”
And then they laughed and ate pizza or something else naughty and that was that. The next morning, Evan would be flirting with Barty again and they would be sleeping in each other's arms and everything would look hopeful. Until Evan called again or came by with teary eyes and then Remus would curse out Barty Crouch JR all over again.
Endless shitty loop. But even now, after so long, Remus knows that the two will figure it out. No matter how much he would like to put Barty on a ship and send him away for good, Remus knows. Evan and Barty will never not be intertwined. They will always end up beside each other.
Mary has recovered from her laughing attack and is now being embraced by Lily beside Remus. He’s surrounded by people in love. Some happy, some…Barty and Evan? Whatever they are. Supposedly too scared of happiness to be anything but a bittersweet almost
Maybe it is the heat anyway. Because the conversation Remus just had with Lily about Sirius Black is no longer going, but Remus' skin is still very much crawling. Maybe it is the heat, or maybe it’s the fact that the group is at the local train station, waiting for a train that will take them to London. The very same London that James and Sirius left him for, three years ago. He refused at first, when the suggestion of the trip came up. Because, of course, he wasn't going to London. But the group had been pushy and persistent and Dorcas had told him to get off his own dick.
“Everything doesn't revolve around you, Remus. London is a big bloody city. The chance of you seeing any of them is literally zero!”
Dorcas wasn't one for tipping around subjects. She gave harsh truths. She had once slapped Remus because he was being too melancholy during a gathering. “ snap out of it”. She’s the reason Remus is now at a dirty train station waiting for a ride to take him to a city he’s afraid of. They will only be staying for a couple of days. Summer is no longer automatically connected to sleeping into the late mornings, calm days and ice cream. Which isn't sad, it's devastating.
They've all managed to take out their semester days in the same week. Everything doesn't revolve around Remus. He can go to London because his friends want him to, and friends do stuff they don't want to, for each other. He can go to London and not run into a kind boy with glasses alongside a heartbreaker from his past. But what if? He hasn't been checking their social media at all for at least three months now. Regulus jokes about how Remus “Now is three months clean”. Which is a bit tone deaf and insensitive and so very Regulus-like. Pandora gets mad when Regulus jokes about stuff like that. She says it’s something one shouldn't joke about. That makes Regulus' joke even more vulgar. Pandora usually ends up apologizing for Regulus' behavior, which always makes Remus feel awkward. Sure, he’s been struggling, but he isn’t somebody you need to tiptoe around. He can take a joke better than anybody, probably.
No social media checkups means that he has zero knowledge of the boys' lifes and locations. Not so much can happen in three months but..things can still happen.
“Hello Gloomy.”
Regulus Black is standing in front of Remus now. Pandora and Dorcas have also arrived, they are happily chatting with Mary and Lily a few meters away. Barty and Evan are not bickering, nor kissing, which is a bit surprising. They are all here. His friends. His found-family.
"Gloomy? Fuck off.”
“Moody too.”
“You just arrived and have still managed to insult me twice. It says a lot about you as a person.”
Regulus almost smiles. That's the best you can get from Reg on a normal day, an almost smile.
“That’s why you were called Moony, wasn't it? Because you were moody and gloomy. Or..were you famous for mooning?”
“Mooning? As in exposing myself in public places?”
“Yeah”
“..No, I-..I wasn't big on getting naked in front of people. No I just..Well, you remember James Potter, yeah?”
Regulus makes a face, a grimace.
“Yeah, he stole my brother.”
“No, he be swayed your brother, because he’s lovely and nice. He was the sun, you know.
“He was the sun?”
“I always told him he was sun-like. Made everybody feel warm and nice and his presence was just, well, it made things better, you know? So I called him Sunny for a while and well..”
“And if he was sun-like, you were moon-like?”
“That's what he said, yeah.”
“What does moon-like even mean?”
“I don’t really know..But Sun-like became Sunny, so moon-like became-”
“Moony?”
“Precisely, clever boy! Now, stop talking about them and the nickname and everything else that reminds me of where we’re actually heading.”
“Stop being so dramatic. Look here instead, I've found a list of the five best coffee brewers in London. We're going to go on a quest to find the best coffee in the city.”
Regulus holds up his phone, showing a list of addresses. Just then the train rolls in, onto the station, and the group has to gather their bags and hurry, to get good seats. Left behind is a poodle and an empty can of root beer. It will be a nice trip. They will be staying at a local hostel, close to the tube. They will walk in parks and go shopping. Visit the art museum and eat out every night. It will be nice, free from stress and anxiety. Dorcas will be there to slap Remus out of his sad moods and Evan will occupy him with his endless Barty-problems.
Remus will visit London. He will enjoy his stay, then head home. He will not meet a lost friend. A memory. He does not have to worry. Who would ever be so unfortunate? Nobody. Especially not him.
The city is big enough for both of them, with plenty to spare.
He will not search, he will not find.
It feels like a lie.