Lost Sirius Black
When Sirius ran away from the house, he was all shaken up. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. All the negative emotions drove him even more. The rain turned into a real downpour, as if someone were high in the sky and poured hundreds of buckets of water on the ground. Fortunately, there was no thunderstorm.
He wasn't so sure he was doing the right thing. Maybe his sister was right, maybe he was actually selfish for running away and leaving her alone with these monsters. Maybe he should stay and try to adjust to the tyranny in that house. Maybe he should ask Cassie to run away with him, or maybe he should don't ask and just kidnap her to give her safety.
But now he couldn't turn back time, and he couldn't turn back. Honestly, he didn't even want to. He wanted to break free and that's what he did. But he hoped that his sister would be okay, that she wouldn't be abused by her parents, that she wouldn't miss him too much, that she would forgive him for leaving her.
But he didn't think he deserved forgiveness. He knew he had hurt her badly by running away, he didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he saw no other way out. He couldn't stay there. He could no longer bear the pain, the screaming, the violence. For a while he thought he could get used to it, but then his mother decided to test an unforgivable spell on him.
He couldn't even describe the pain he felt when Walburga threw the cruccio at him. It felt like someone was setting you on fire, electrocuting you, and breaking all your bones all at once. Sirius was convinced that this was the limit of pain, which could not be crossed. It turned out that he was wrong, however, the cruciatus curse was the limit of physical pain. Some words could hurt much more than long minutes of torture.
'Then go away and never see me again. I don't want to know you. You're not my brother anymore, you're a selfish asshole who only thinks obout himself.' those three sentences reverberated painfully in his head and stubbornly refused to leave. Sirius ran away, tried to clear his mind, but he couldn't seem to forget the conversation.
He allowed himself to release his emotions. He was alone on the street at night, so he didn't have to worry about being seen. He burst into tears, completely losing control of it. However, he did not stop. He continued running the same way. Tears mingled with the raindrops on his cheeks. His hair was soaked, as were his clothes. Only the backpack protected with spells remained dry.
Sirius felt completely lost. He ran away from a building that should have been his home but never was. Black himself didn't know what the hell he was doing, he just wanted to be free. He just wanted this whole nightmare to end. For a moment he even thought about turning into a dog and running in front of the car, but he said a emphatic NO to the idea. He couldn't do it because of Remus and James.
He sped up even more. He could finally feel something other than mental anguish and crushing guilt. He could feel the muscles in his legs aching from the constant running. He felt nagging pains in his chest and around his ribs. He felt it getting harder to breathe. He felt overwhelmingly tired. But he didn't care about that at all.
Sirius stopped running only when he felt that he would pass out if he didn't stop. He hid under the roof of some building from the rain. He leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. He took a drag and let out a puff of smoke. Smoking Muggle cigarettes helped him calm down and at least clear his damn black mind a bit. After finishing one cigarette, he smoked two more. He wished he had the magic weed he bought sometimes at Slytherin parties.
Then he opened his backpack and pulled out some strange food items he found in the kitchen cupboard. He had no idea what it was, or if it was even edible, but he was too hungry to think about it. He also found a bag of cookies and ate them all. He washed it down with a bottle of water and lit the last cigarette from the pack. He had two more packes in his backpack, but he didn't want to open them.
When he regained his breath and was relatively rested, he continued running. He had lost track of time, but he knew he was getting close to where he wanted to go. He parked his motorcycle four miles from home in a cul-de-sac. Finding it wasn't a problem for Sirius, because he remembered the place exactly. He got on his motorcycle, started it and put on his helmet.
He drove a few hundred feet, then turned on the flying function and turned off Muggle visibility. Admittedly, no one walks the dark alleys at 2 a.m. but he should still keep some sense. Sirius wasn't a very careful driver, he was only driving his flying mechanical two-wheeler for the third time and he didn't crash just because he was lucky.
He flew for over half an hour and landed only in Godric's Hollow. He drove onto the street and parked in one of the alleys. He walked about five minutes to James' house and stood in front of the back door. He knocked uncertainly. He didn't really hope anyone would open it for him, but he decided to try anyway. It was the middle of the night so the Potters were probably asleep a long time ago.
James opened the door because he was awake and in the kitchen. He looked shocked at Sirius, who was standing there crying and soaking wet. His hair was wet from the rain and fell into his eyes, and his cheeks were wet with tears. Potter didn't know what to do. For a moment, he even forgot how to breathe. He grabbed Sirius' hand and without a word pulled him, or rather them, into the house.
"What happened Siri?" he asked anxiously approaching his friend. It was the first time he had seen them in such a state, so broken.
“I escaped from that damned building, whith was my hause not home. You know what my mother is like, that monstrous bitch who thinks she can control me. She treated me like garbage practically my whole life. She tried to force me into an arranged marriage. I had to escape from there. She left me no other choice." Their voice cracked as they spoke very fast, keeping from crying.
"Shhhh it's okay," James whispered soothingly. He took off Sirius' backpack and set it against the wall. Then he approached them carefully and hugged them very gently in a comforting way. "You're safe now, Siri."
"But she.. my sister.. Cassie.. she's not.. she's not safe She stayed there.." He heard a broken reply and felt Sirius tremble as he spoke the words. "I left her alone! I abandoned her! I'm the worst sibling in the world!"
"Padfoot, look at me" James asked and waited a moment for his friend to do the command "You're not a bad sibling. You never hurt your sister. You always looked after her and protected her."
“But now I left her alone with these monsters. I hurt her very badly. We had an argument when she caught me.."
"Was this argument very different from yours usual siblings fights?"
"She said, 'Then go away and never see me again. I don't want to know you. You're not my brother anymore, you're a selfish asshole who only thinks obout himself.' So this was much different, pretty damn much."
Sirius burst into tears as he repeated his sister's words. James didn't say anything, just gave him a supportive hug. He was with him and helped him calm down.
"Prongs" Sirius' voice paused for a moment, and his gaze landed on his friend. "I know I'm probably asking too much, but could I stay here for a while, just for the holidays?"
"Padfoot, my dear friend, Of course you're not asking for too much. I can't imagine any other option. I wouldn't let you go even if you wanted to fend for yourself. You can stay with me as long as you need."
"Until September will be enought. That's a lot anyway. Then when I turn seventeen in November, I'll figure something out."
"Okay, for now you'll stay until the end of the summer, but at Hogwarts we'll definitely come back to this conversation." James smiled pleasantly
"Are you sure your mom won't mind if I stay here that long?"
"Siri, don't talk nonsense. After all, she just loves you, sometimes I even think she likes you more than me."
"Certainly not. After all, I'm not her beloved son with disheveled hair" he laughed.
"Maybe you're not, but she still likes you very much, and so does my dad. You just stold my parents' hearts as soon as you showed up here."
"But I've never been here on a full holiday and I've never run away from home before."
"I'm sure they'll understand if I explain it to them. Of course, if you agree. You can also tell yourself if you prefer."
"I think it's better that you explain it, because I don't know if I can do it .. but I want to be there and possibly add something."
"Okay, we'll tell them tomorrow together.. I mean, I'll tell you, but you're going with me."
"Tomorrow is early, but okay. It makes no sense to postpone it, it's best to do it as soon as possible."
"When I talk about you Siri to my parents.. what pronouns should I use? Before, I always spoke to my parents about you in men's terms because you didn't give me permission to say otherwise.. but now you're staying here longer and I want you to feel comfortable."
"Use my pronouns, then, if it's not a problem."
"Of course, no problem." James smiled at Sirius again. He wanted to comfort them, but he knew he couldn't.
"Thank you Prongs, I really appreciate your help, you don't even know.."
"It's okay Siri, you don't have to thank me. I'm your friend."
"You are my best friend."
"Exactly." the glasses man smiled and looked at his watch "now let's go to my room. It's 3am and I need to go to bed. You should too"
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, but I can try." Sirius sighed and went with his horned friend.