Chapter 6
“I don’t know what they want,” Pandora told him honestly. “They didn’t tell me anything more than what I’ve told you.”
“That they’re holding a meeting? In the boy's dorm?” It all sounded rather ridiculous, Remus thought, and he didn’t like the idea of walking into something without at least a little more warning about what was about to happen. It had only been two nights since the last full moon, and it had been a rough one. Without Padfoot the Wolf got angry, and unfortunately for Remus that had left him with yet another couple of scars, despite Wormtail and Prong’s best efforts.
Thankfully, all new additions to his vast collections of scars were easily hidden under his shirt. Safe to say, the last thing Remus wanted to do was walk into the snake's den, even if he had softened towards them greatly. And yet, there Remus was, walking to the Slytherin common room with his little sister so he could attend a meeting of some sort.
“Only a group of purebloods would say they were hosting a meeting,” Remus grumbled. Pandora snorted.
“Yeah well, that’s Regulus, for you.”
“And Sirius.” Pandora raised an eyebrow, shooting her older brother a look he elected to ignore. He hadn’t meant to say it, didn’t know why he thought of it in the first place. Well, that was a lie. Sirius had been all that Remus had thought about for the past week, which he had spent artfully ignoring not only Sirius, but all of his friends. The only people he could stomach to look at were the Slytherins, a fact that hadn’t gone unnoticed. Pandora was always there, of course, but she was in Ravenclaw and his sister, and therefore his house didn’t find it nearly as scandalous.
When they arrived, Dorcas was talking with Evan while Regulus read a book on his bed. Evan was sitting on the floor with Barty’s head in his lap, his fingers playing with Barty’s already ruffled hair as he continued his conversation with Dorcas. Pandora sat down at the end of Regulus’ bed while Remus stood awkwardly in the doorway.
“You’re here, good,” Regulus said, putting his book down. Remus noted Regulus’ ghost of a smile. “You know Lupin, you can take a seat.”
“Oh,” Remus said stupidly. “Right.” He glanced around the plainly decorated dorm before sitting on the floor in front of Pandora, who was now lying on her stomach. Remus felt her twisting his curls around her fingers and smiled fondly. She always needed to be doing something with her hands.
“So, d’you wanna tell us why you called this meeting? Or are we going to take turns guessing?” Dorcas huffed a laugh and Pandora giggled.
“We’re here because of you, actually,” Barty said with a smirk. Remus rolled his eyes.
“Well, my dearest apologies. I didn’t realize I was encroaching upon your clearly valuable time.” Barty glared, but it was overshadowed by Evan’s snickering.
“You’re here,” Regulus said, ignoring his friends, “because something is going on between you and my brother. I want to know what it is.” Suddenly, Remus felt rather nauseous. Maybe he should have rested more, like Pomfry had said. Remus studied Regulus’ face, a thousand protests building on his tongue, but before he could say anything Pandora beat him to it.
“You can’t be serious,” She said. “Surely you of all people would understand wanting to keep some semblance of privacy. Especially in regards to Sirius Black of all people.” Remus’ eyebrows shot up. He wasn’t used to hearing Pandora come to his defence, let alone in such a collected and firm manner. To be fair, it's not as though he had spent much time with her in the past few years - a fact he’s very much come to regret - so it’s very possible that this wasn’t uncommon. Still, it took him by surprise. He was prepared for more teasing, not… this.
“I understand that,” Regulus told her coolly. “But after what happened at the party, I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable to ask for a bit of context.” Remus glared at him.
“What exactly do you think happened at the party, Black?”
“Oh, please,” he said flippantly, “we all know you snogged Sirius after you two stormed out of the common room.” Remus blanched, his stomach clenching painfully. His still-healing ribs weren’t helping matters.
“What?” Remus finally managed, swallowing thickly.
“Remus-” Pandora tried but Dorcas beat her to it.
“We don’t care,” the Slytherin told him, “if that’s what you're worried about. And we don’t have any intention of telling anyone.” Barty hummed in agreement while Evan nodded.
“Here’s my thing,” Regulus said, turning Remus’ attention back to the Black family heir. “You really like - if not love, Merlin forbid it - Sirius. And it’s clear to me that he feels rather similarly.” Something in Remus shrivelled up at that, something sour curdling in his stomach. Regulus was wrong. Sirius doesn’t love him, he doesn’t even want him. Love? Fucking forget it. Remus shouldn’t have come. Why does he do this to himself?
“So, what could he have possibly done to make you even suggest that you hate him?” Remus could feel their eyes on him, waiting to hear his answer. It’s a fair question, the logical part of his brain supposes. Remus’ loyalty and friendship with Sirius has never been a secret. In fact, it’s a well-known fact that Remus would happily die for Sirius. But how could he possibly explain what had happened without revealing the fact that he’s a literal fucking werewolf? He may have found friendship with the Slytherins, but this was something else entirely.
For starters, Remus was well aware of the Black family’s stance on matters such as half-breeds. And while Remus knows there’s more to Regulus than his family lineage, it still lingers in the back of his mind. Where Sirius had always been rebellious to a fault, Regulus had been a model son. Where Sirius had been disowned for his beliefs, Regulus had stepped up to take Sirius’ place. If he didn’t know better, Remus would believe that Regulus was just another blood purist with nothing but malicious intent for people like Remus. But Regulus had befriended Pandora - a half-blood - and accepted her without a second thought. Remus thought back to what Dora had said to him one night months ago when he was giving her a hard time for her friendship with Regulus.
“Do you really think he’s had it easy? Just because he hasn’t suffered the same way Sirius has doesn’t mean he hasn’t suffered.”
It had struck Remus then that maybe he hadn’t given Regulus a fair chance. Since then, Remus had watched Regulus treat everyone - pureblood and muggle-born alike - with the same nonchalant apathy. He’d even overheard him shoot down bigoted comments. Talking to him, it was clear that Regulus didn’t hold up his parent's beliefs. While Barty, Evan and Dorcas had each shown their extreme disdain for their family’s purist beliefs, Remus had learned his lesson with Sirius. It seemed that when it came to matters concerning his lycanthropy, it was better to keep it to himself.
“Why do you care so much?” Remus asked instead of answering his question. If Remus Lupin can do anything, it’s deflecting.
“I figured you of all people would know how Sirius can be.” Regulus looked a little unimpressed with his answer, but he didn’t say anything about it.
“Exactly my point. I know Sirius, even if he claims I don’t. He’s my brother, I’ve grown up beside him.” There was a tenderness in his voice that Remus hadn’t expected. “Make no mistake, he’s a reckless idiot who refuses to listen to anybody and ends up making a fuck-ton of mistakes because of it.” There was a gentleness in Regular' expression. Remus wondered if he was thinking about the adventures the two of them must have had.
“I also know that most of the time, he means well,” Regulus continued. “Even when he does something idiotic, it’s in honour of one of you lot.” Remus’ stomach twisted angrily.
“See but that’s the thing,” Remus said slowly, “Sirius didn’t take me into account. He didn’t think of me at all.” He wasn’t shouting - far from it. He spoke quietly, his voice a low hum. But there was resentment in the cadence of his voice. “What he did - what he did to me - was nothing more than a pathetic plot of revenge. A plot I never asked to be a part of.”
And really, that was the truth of it all. Sirius hadn’t been thinking about James or even Snape. He certainly wasn’t thinking of Remus when he turned him into a rabid monster. No, Sirius had been thinking about Sirius. And maybe that was the bitterest part of it all. The Slytherins regard him for a moment, sharing glances between them. Remus resists the urge to fidget.
“It was bad, huh?” Evan said finally. Remus snorts.
“Yeah. It was bad.” It felt like a gross understatement, but there wasn’t much else he could say, was there? They all seemed to sit with this for a moment, a sort of acceptance settling over the Slytherins. Remus wasn’t going to tell them. They would just have to deal with it. Then Regulus turned to Barty and Evan.
“You two have detention to get to, don’t you?” Barty groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes.
“Why’d you have to remind me?” Evan stood up, leaving Barty lying on the floor, sprawled out like a starfish. Evan sighed, resigned to his fate with Filch.
“C’mon, we should get going. Maybe if we do whatever it is Filch wants us to do quickly we’ll make it to dinner.”
“I hate that you make a good point.”
“Come on,” Evan said with a small smile, “let’s go before we end up with another detention and he keeps us working all night.”
“I should get going too,” Dorcas said. “I’ve got to check in on the potion I’m brewing. It’s been an absolute headache and if I mess it up now I’ll have to start all over again.” Remus sympathised. He’ll never forget how upset Pete had been when his potion spoiled because he forgot to check in on it for one night. Two weeks of work, gone. Remus had felt so bad he had given Peter his last chocolate frog.
“I’ll walk with you,” Pandora said, getting up to join Dorcas. “I need to stop by the greenhouses and feed Lilith.” Lilith was Pandora’s beloved carnivorous plant. Remus had listened to Dora talk about Lilith many times, and while he thought it was all rather silly - Lilith was just a plant , after all - it suited Pandora to have a meat-eating flower. Remus watched as the four filtered out of the dorm, Barty complaining all the while about Filch's punishments.
And then it was just Remus and Regulus. It wasn’t the first time the two of them had been alone together. Regulus, despite only being in fourth year, was a Prefect, and the two of them had been on patrol together on more than one occasion. Remus still didn’t exactly understand how Regulus had managed to become a Prefect a year before everyone else, all that he knew was that Walburga had pulled some strings. Regulus had told him it was because Sirius hadn’t been a Prefect, and therefore disgraced the family. This, Remus thought, was complete and utter bollocks. Being the youngest Prefect in Hogwarts history seemed to distract from the fact that Sirius was just about as far from a Prefect as humanly possible.
Remus sat silently, watching as Regulus stood up, walking to the window to crack it open. He blinked as Regulus took out a cigarette and lit it with a snap of his fingers. No fucking way. There is no way that Regulus Black smokes. Remus stared at him, well aware that this was a silly thing to be so shocked by. It’s just that Remus had been the one to introduce the Marauders to cigarettes - they’re a muggle invention, after all - so how on earth did Regulus get his hands on a pack of Embassies? After blowing smoke out of the window, he glanced back at Remus.
“Want one?” he asked. Remus had been itching for one since Pandora told him about this stupid meeting. It couldn’t hurt, he supposed.
“Yeah, cheers.” Regulus tossed him the pack, and with a snap of his fingers, Remus inhaled the smoke into his lungs. He held it there in his chest until it burned, filling him with a sort of twisted relief. Regulus waited for him to exhale before speaking again.
“Where were you two nights ago, Lupin?” Remus started coughing violently, completely caught off guard by the question.
“What?” Remus wheezed.
“You weren’t on Prefect duty.”
“So? I was sick.”
“Yeah, that’s what McGonagall said. Food poisoning.” Something was off. Remus felt uneasy like he was being led into a trap. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that it was just the two of them. Why was he talking to McGonagall? Why would he care if he was sick or not? Regulus couldn’t know… could he? Is it possible that Snape had said something? Remus schooled his expression, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest. If he was good at anything, it was lying.
“Yeah, well. It happens.” Regulus nodded, taking another drag from his cigarette. Remus did the same, waiting for him to speak again. They smoked in silence for a few heavy seconds.
“But every full moon? We both know that sounds absurd, Lupin.”
Remus was on his feet in moments, his wand drawn on instinct, the burning cigarette forgotten. If he needed to defend himself, he wouldn’t hesitate to. He doesn’t know how Regulus managed to figure it out, but it doesn’t matter. Regulus knows. The Heir to the Most Ancient and Nobel House of Black knows. Somehow that detail hadn’t felt so important when Sirius had found out all those years ago. But that was Sirius. Remus isn’t an idiot, he may get along with Regulus, but he isn’t blind to his power or ability to be cruel.
“What are you implying,” he growled, clenching his teeth. Regulus looks him up and down, his eyes snagging on the smoking cigarette lying on the ground.
“You could at least put out your cigarette,” Regulus drawled. Remus’ eyes narrowed.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Black?” Regulus only rolled his eyes, as if Remus was nothing more than an irritation. As if his words hadn’t just changed everything.
“There’s no need for the dramatics. I don’t share my family's feelings about muggleborns, my feelings about Half-breeds are no different.”
“How did you know,” Remus demanded, not at all eased by Regulus’ words.
“I’m observant,” was Black’s response, as if that made everything perfectly clear. Remus laughed coldly. Yes, Regulus is indeed observant. He pays attention. But there’s always a motive behind it. Regulus isn’t one to take notice of one’s absences for no reason at all. Remus should know, he’s no different.
“You and I both know you have better things to be doing than tracking which Prefect duties I miss. Clearly, there’s something you want.” Regulus looks utterly unimpressed.
“Please, if I wanted something from you, I’d already have it.” And well, Remus believes him. Regulus may be young, but he’s already openly praised by professors for his skill and capacity to grow into an incredible wizard. While Remus was confident in his duelling, his potions could use some work, and it just so happens that positions seemed to be where Regulus Black honed his magical ability. At least according to Lily and how much Slughorn praised the young prodigy during those Slug Clubs she had been attending. So yeah, Regulus had a point.
So where the fuck did that put Remus now? What was he meant to do? He couldn’t just shrug his shoulders and walk away. Could he? Surely there was meant to be some course of action here. One that left one of the two boys in the Medical Wing. But Regulus hadn’t stopped smoking out of the window, let alone bothered pulling out his wand. Slowly, Remus lowered his wand but still kept it gripped tightly in his hand.
“Sirius wants you, you know,” Regulus said, not even sparing Remus a glance. The sour feeling was back, only this time it burned. Remus couldn’t help it, he laughed.
Sirius wants you.
Like hell he did. Sure they had kissed, but what did that mean to a boy who’d snogged half of the fucking school? Nothing. It meant absolutely nothing. Not to Sirius. And Remus pretended it meant nothing to him. It did - fuck, it meant so much - but he didn’t dare let himself run away with the idea that Sirius could… might want…
No. He didn’t even let himself finish the thought. At one point, Remus had thought Sirius had been jealous of the stunt Barty and Evan had pulled, but that suspicion had quickly faded. Sirius hated Barty and Evan, that’s all. Of course, he was… whatever he was. Nothing changed. Both Sirius and Remus were simply pretending the kiss had never happened. It felt like a repeat of Sirius’ birthday. They still hadn’t said anything about it. Not that there was anything to say, Remus supposed. Remus loved Sirius, and Sirius didn’t feel the same. Plain and simple. Now if only Remus’ heart would accept that. His brain had. It shouldn’t be this hard.
“If you haven’t noticed, Regulus, Sirius is straight as a ruler. One kiss doesn’t erase all the girls he’s been with.” It hadn’t been lost on Remus that Sirius had been sneaking off with a sixth-year Hufflepuff named Elaine. Elaine , fuck if that name didn’t make Remus want to scream. Or rip his hair out. Maybe something equally as self-destructive would do. Regulus did look at him then, lifting an eyebrow.
“What, you think he can’t like girls and boys? Seems a bit closed-minded, don’t you think?” Remus rolled his eyes. Hard .
“Regulus, I like both. Believe me, the concept isn’t lost on me.”
“Then why is the thought that Sirius could be into blokes so hard to believe?” Remus snorted.
“Just trust me on this one. Sirius doesn’t like men. End of story.” Remus sighed. “Even if he did like blokes - which he doesn’t - I’m the last fucking person he’d want.” That was the first time he’d said that out loud. He couldn’t tell if it hurt less or more than keeping the thought to himself.
“Why not?” Regulus flicked the cigarette bud out of the window and lit another one. “You’re certainly fit enough.” Remus ignored the comment. He knew it wasn’t true. No point in moping over it.
“I’m dangerous. I’m a werewolf, for Merlin’s sake. A fact you know for some reason. You still haven’t told me why you noted my Prefect duties.”
“Because,” Regulus said, sighing as though he was bored, “Sirius does want you, whether you see it or not. And I wanted to know why.” Remus’ gaze hardens.
“Did you figure it out?”
“No.” Remus nodded, expecting it. It shouldn’t have stung, but it did. Regulus seemed contemplative as he put out his cigarette. “But I will.” Remus bit his tongue. Regulus could try, but it wouldn’t change anything.
“I have research to do,” Regulus announced, walking to the door. Remus stiffened, still unsure of what to do now that he knew Regulus was aware of his lycanthropy. Regulus paused before leaving, looking at Remus. “I won’t tell anyone. About your… condition.”
“Thanks,” Remus said, his mouth tasting of ash. His voice was flat. He didn’t have the energy to sound anything other than exhausted. Regulus nodded once, then left. Remus gave himself a couple of minutes before he, too, left the dorm.
Remus had a headache. Had since he’d left the Slytherin boy’s dorm room a couple of hours ago. He had spent his time sequestered in the library studying for OWLs, skipping dinner altogether. He’d stop by the kitchens on his way back to his dorm, but first, he was going to drop into the medical wing and see if Madam Pomfrey could give him something for the pain behind his eyes. It was past curfew, but considering his status as a prefect, he wasn’t too worried. Everything had been going smoothly until he turned a corner to find no other than Mulciber and his goons Avery, Wilkes and Snape picking on who he assumed was a muggle-born girl. Could he not catch a break for one day? Shooting a disarming spell with a flick of his wrist sending Snape's wand flying, Remus leaned up against the wall.
“Don’t you pricks have something better to do than pick on a child? I’d say that’s low even for you, but I know for a fact that you’ve sunk to much lower levels.”
All four wizards turned to Remus, momentarily forgetting the girl sitting on the floor who looked at him, eyes wide with fear.
“Out for a walk in the moonlight, Lupin?” Snape snarled, a cruel smile curling on his face. Remus ignored him, steadily approaching the Slytherins, wand at the ready.
“10 points from Slytherin for being out past hours, then another twenty for tormenting a fellow student. Each .” Mulciber snarled, turning all his attention to the Griffendore. Remus shot the girl with a look, his heart squeezing when he saw the terror in her wide eyes. She ran towards him, making it to safety behind Remus. Looking at her, he realized he knew her. She was in her third year, and a muggle-born just as Remus had suspected. Her name was Lucy, Griffendore’s newest addition to their Quidditch team. James had mentioned her. A good seeker, apparently.
“Go back to your dorm. I’ll take care of this.” He smirked at her, shooting her a wink. She nodded and hastily made her way down the corridor. And then there were five. Remus regarded the Slytherins. They all had their wands out, cruel smirks hanging off their lips. Remus narrowed his eyes, not thrilled about how outnumbered he was. Remus may be a strong wizard, but four against one? Yeah, he didn’t like those odds.
“As much as I’d love to entertain your sadistic tendencies, I have better things to do. Save us all the trouble and fuck off to the dungeons, would you?” Remus knew it wouldn’t work, but he needed them to fire the first spell. Remus has found the Professors at Hogwarts to be far more sympathetic when it came to cursing classmates if it was in an act of self-defence. Remus had dealt with enough detentions this year, he wasn’t eager for more.
“Watch your mouth,” Mulciber spat, “you don’t know who you’re talking to.” Remus rolled his eyes.
“I know that you have the confidence of someone who’s not failing half of their classes.”
Mulciber hurled a curse toward Remus that he easily blocked in retaliation. “Come now, Mulciber. We all know the only reason you’re passing is because of Daddy’s money.” Mulciber’s expression twisted angrily, his face resembling a tomato more than a teenage boy.
“At least my father is respected, unlike you and your pathetic family,” he sneered. Remus clenched his jaw but refused to react. There was no point. His father worked with the ministry, sure, but he wasn’t anything special. Not in the eyes of purebloods like Mulciber. Remus had given up defending his father years ago.
“You may be a Prefect, but everyone knows we hold more power,” Avery added. Remus huffed a laugh.
“Careful, your inflated ego is showing.” This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back because in a moment Remus was shielding himself as a barrage of curses and hexes flew at him. Any and all insults Remus had died on his tongue as he worked to hold his own against the four wizards. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he continued to block curses and send his own in return.
Time seemed to lose all meaning as they fought, the four boys pushing Remus back even as he held his own. Remus wasn’t unscathed - his arm had taken a blow or two, and there was a cut on his forehead that had left blood dripping into his eyes - but he had managed to land a few blows of his own. Wilkes was holding his wand with his non-dominant hand, his other arm hanging limply at his side. Snivellus’ nose was bleeding and Avery was limping. Mulciber had numerous scratches and Remus had temporarily blinded him in one eye, but he powered forward regardless. He was resilient, Remus had to give him that.
Remus’s shields were strong - it was one of the few things he was confident in - but he could feel it slipping with all the hits it had taken. His headache was worsening, and his body was protesting, still tired from the recent full moon. Snape had to have realized this because, with a sickening smile, he pushed forward, his curses becoming more and more concentrated on breaking Remus’ shield. Remus wasn’t a fool, he had known he wouldn’t be able to fight off the four boys on his own, but he had been hoping Filch would appear and break it up before anyone got seriously injured. No such luck.
Setting his jaw, Remus felt his resignation harden. He’d go down, but not without a fight. Remus cursed when his shield fell. He just managed to hit Avery with a stunning spell before Mulciber took his chance and sent a spell hurtling toward him. It hit Remus square in the chest, sending him flying backwards into the wall. Pain flared through his whole body as his back hit the stone, the air punched out of him. He crumpled to the floor, struggling to get air back into his lungs.
“Give it up, Lupin,” Mulciber said smugly, “Your pride will get you nowhere.” Remus looked up at Mulciber, mustering all the energy he had left. With a look so withering that even Regulus would be impressed, Remus spat a wad of bloody saliva at Mulciber’s feet. Remus smirked up at him, grinning at the anger on the fool’s face. His expression was so priceless that not even what Mulciber did next would make Remus regret his actions.
“You filthy mudblood,” Mulciber snarled, “you are going to regret that.” Dropping his wand, the Slytherin stormed over to where Remus lay on the cobblestone, gripping his torso. Looking up at him, Remus was hit once again with how truly massive Mulciber was. And then Remus was truly hit with it. Abandoning magic entirely, Mulciber started kicking Remus. Hard. Nausea swirled up in his stomach as a boot crashed into his abdomen. Remus curled in on himself, covering his head with his hands as he took hit after hit after hit. Snape and Wilkes stood watching, ignoring Avery who was still lying in a stunned pile on the floor.
Something in Remus’ brain switched off, disconnecting him from what was going on around him. The pain was blunt and agonizing in a way Remus had never really experienced before. He’d taken his fair share of punches over the years - thrown just as many - but this was different. This engulfed him, and his still-healing bones were crying out at him. Distantly, he was grateful he had missed dinner. If he had something in his stomach he was sure he would have thrown it up by now. It was getting hard to breathe, and his lungs were screaming. All the things Remus had endured, and yet this felt new. Some part of him understood this was bad, but he couldn’t piece together why exactly. After what felt like an eternity - but could have been mere minutes - Remus heard new voices. No, not new voices, familiar voices.
Those fuckers.
Mulciber paused for a moment, and Remus took his chance to look up. There - his knights in shining armour - were James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Fucking Black. Remus watched as Peter straight up charged at Wilkes, tackling him to the ground while James and Sirius started firing off spells with such rigour McGonagall would be proud. He heard Mulciber curse, grabbing his wand to fend off the furious Griffendores. Remus was so focused on the boys that he hadn’t even noticed they weren’t the only ones coming to his aid until someone hastily pulled him out of the chaos.
Remus groaned, pain fogging up his mind.
“You fucking idiot,” a familiar accented voice scolded. Remus smiled. Lily’s Irish lilt always made itself more known when she swore.
“You can’t be mean to me, I’m mortally wounded,” Remus teased, his words muddled. His breathing felt wet. Lily glanced at him, her eyes fearful but determined as anything. Her wand was busy at work, no doubt trying to figure out everything broken inside of him. Remus had half a mind to say it was no use, she wouldn’t be able to fix everything. Not even Pomfry could fix him completely. But he was so tired, and talking felt too exhausting.
“Shit,” Lily said under her breath.
“What?” Someone to Remus’ right - Mary - asked.
“He’s got a punctured lung. I-" Lily swallowed hard, looking at her friend. "Mary, I can’t fix this.” Remus felt as though he was drifting somewhere, unaware of the danger he was in. Pain fogged up his brain, making it impossible to think.
“Okay, it’s okay. I’ll get Pomfrey.” Remus heard Mary stand up to leave.
“Mary.” Lily’s voice was soft and afraid. Remus wanted to comfort her, but he couldn’t even lift his head.
“I know.” Was Mary’s response. And then she was off. Remus listened as Lily murmured spells, healing what she could.
“Fuck, that hurts,” Remus wined, feeling dizzy.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Lily said, not daring to stop what she was doing. There was still fighting going on around them - the Slytherins must have been putting up a good fight - but Remus wasn’t paying attention. Then someone else crouched down next to him, their breath hitching.
“Moony,” Sirius breathed out, sounding downright devastated. Cigarette smoke, leather and broomstick polish flooded Remus’ senses, a feeling of calm steadiness settling over him.
“What did they do to you?” He whispered, voice thick.
“It's okay. I'm okay,” Remus told him, looking up at his beautiful face. He looked scared. Remus frowned. He didn't like that.
“He isn’t okay,” Lily corrected, her voice taking on a stern sort of quality. “They gave him a punctured lung. And that shoulder wound is bleeding like all hell.”
“Holy shit. Is he going to be okay?” Sirius sounded winded and panicked.
“Mary’s getting Pomfrey. I’ve managed to fix some of the damage and slow some of the bleeding, but unless Pomfry gets here soon…” Lily trailed off, and something heavy and ugly settled over the two friends. A groan escaped Remus’ lips as a wave of pain pounded on his brain.
“Hold on, Remus,” Lily urged.
“Is it your head?” Sirius was looking at him, and it made some of the pain a little more bearable. Remus wasn’t sure how Sirius had known, but he didn’t question it. Remus nodded slightly, his throat feeling like it had been scraped raw.
“Okay,” Sirius said - to himself or Remus, he couldn’t be sure. Then Sirius moved to be sitting behind Remus and gently - oh so gently - lifted Remus’ head into his lap. With his long elegant fingers, Sirius began to rub circles on Remus’ temples. It didn’t do much to help the pain, but it was very soothing. Remus could feel some of the tension in his body ease, exhaustion sinking into his bones.
“Moony, look at me. You can’t close your eyes, okay? Please, please, please don’t close your eyes. Stay here. Stay with me.” Remus would sooner die than leave Sirius, he thought. His head was throbbing, his chest was still screaming at him, and all he wanted to do was sleep. But he forced himself to keep his eyes open. Forced himself to look at Sirius. He studied his features: The milk-pale skin, his high cheek-bones, the pink of his cupid's-bow, the little purple-ish stains at the corner of his eyes, the strands of hair that had fallen into his face and oh, those eyes. Those eyes were going to be the death of him, Remus was sure. Watery and startlingly grey, with a depth Remus wanted to study for a lifetime. No, not a lifetime, it wouldn’t be enough. He’d need at least four.
“What?” Sirius asked, his voice low. Remus felt himself smile.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Rouge flooded Sirius’ cheeks, and his lips parted on inhale.
“Moony-”
Then two people thundered down the corridor, and everything that was moving around them came to a halting stop. In no less than two seconds, Pomfry was at Remus’ side, eyes scanning his body, taking in the damage in milliseconds.
“Sirius, hold up his head and give him these,” Pomfry said forcefully, handing Sirius a bag of bottles. Sirius blinked, then nodded, determination settling into his features. Putting a bottle to Remus’ lips, Sirius told him “drink” and so Remus did. As he swallowed the potions, the pain began to fade, and his head felt lighter. It felt like he was sinking into a pile of feathers, soft and light around him. Remus fought to keep his eyes open - to stay with Sirius - but it was so hard. The voices around him seemed to filter out like Remus was underwater. Sirius looked down at him, tears in his eyes as he held his head in his hands. Sirius bent down, placing a gentle kiss on Remus’ forehead.
“You're okay, Moons. You can rest now.” Something warm like sunlight - no, like starlight - settled over him. Finally - finally - Remus closed his eyes, falling into the peace of sleep, his skin tingling everywhere Sirius had touched him.