Chapter 1
"The boss requests your presence in his office."
"Do I have to?" Dazai said elongating the no. He did not want to see that man today. Not his face, hair, suit, hear his voice, all of it disgusted him. He would look so much better if his head was bashed in. That would be a wonderful sight! He must replicate it.
"Sir? You should get going to his office, he told me to tell you that every minute you are late would be another punishment." the agent said.
"yeah yeah, okay fine. I'll be there." He got up from his chair where he was reading a complete guide on committing suicide. He sighed, tossed the book onto the chair, and walked out of his office. With no emotion on his face, he walked through the halls to the door labeled as, 'Mori Ougai', and with a deep breath he pushed open the door.
"Oh Dazai-kun, you're here! However, you are two minutes late," At this Dazai froze. He had walked as fast as possible how could he be late?! "but because it was most likely the errand boy's fault, I will be nice enough to let you off the hook only this time, is that understood?"
"Yes Sir."
"Now, the reason why I have summoned you here today is because I need you to go on a mission, in England. You may be thinking, "But I don't know how to speak English?!" and that is exactly why you will be on this mission. You are to play the role of a young Japanese boy who managed to get enrolled into an English magic school.”
What, that makes absolutely zero sense. Magic doesn't exis- wait. Abilities are a form of kind of magic. So sure it could exist. After thinking about whether or not magic existed or not Dazai decided to settle on the only good response. "The name of the school? I need to research it."
Mori slid a packet of about 4 pages on the basic information on the mission.
"I will get to work right away Mori-san, thank you."
"It is no problem Dazai-kun, as long as you don't forget to come over to my office tomorrow. And you have 10 days to learn basic English, magic and pack everything. Have fun! Oh and the English books are on your desk already. Bye!"
Well isn't this perfect, he gets to show off his English (which Mori doesn't know he's been studying) and he gets to fool around with magic! This is fun! All he has to do is look for information on the important people there. He has enough energy to get to his office to grab his charging laptop, shoving it into his coat's many compartments. Then he walks out, locks the door, and starts his trek toward his 'beloved' shipping container house.
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As promised, there were books on how to learn English all over his desk, not that he will be needing them, he already knew close to perfect English. He taught himself it one week when he got bored of talking to his cockroach roommates (and life in general). Dispite being known as a difficult language to learn, he found it not that hard. That's probably because he isn't fully human.
"Oh shit, I did it again, I called myself human" Dazai thought while putting his head in his hands. ,"why am I allowed to feel like I am a human, it isn't fair to everybody else who is around me so why do it?"
In a swift move he reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife. Maybe he would actually do it this time, end it all. Oh, he felt high at that possibility, dead on the ground blood spilling around him, unconscious and dead. What a beautiful image!
But there was no time for that today so he put the knife back into his pocket. He pulled out his laptop and set it on his desk.
And finally, he started typing in a magical (actually though) word. H-O-G-W-A-R-T-S.