Tears and unconfessed love
Sirius knew exactly that if he ever told Remus about his love for him, he'd be laughed at.
But that wasn't the case now was it?
It had always felt odd, Remus and Sirius were so very close yet they were never close the way James and Sirius had been.
Sirius was a playboy, always flirting with girls. It wouldn't surprise Remus if Sirius had already gotten someone pregnant.
He was so jealous, he wanted to be the one Sirius claimed as his lover. Why must this be so difficult?
"Hey Moony" Sirius exclaimed
"Hello, welcome back"
Remus was still unreasonably angry that Sirius had been flirting with random girls again.
"What's with that angry tone?" Sirius teased
A sharp look from Remus indicated he was actually pretty pissed.
"Did I do something?" He inquired cautiously
"No, I-...it doesn't matter" Remus made clear
"Alright"
"How was your day Padfoot?" Remus interrogated
"It was fine, but just not as great as being with you" Sirius flirted
Remus was flustered and started blushing. Sirius smiled.
A smile Remus loved so dearly, he could get lost in his eyes, Sirius' eyes, they squinted just slightly when he smiled or laughed.
After a while of staring Sirius made his way over to Remus' bed and sat down. Remus was currently reading a book while sitting cross legged on his bed. As Sirius arrived on Remus' bed he layed down on the brunette's legs, forcing him to put his book away.
"I love you Remus"
"Love you too"
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Regulus had decided, he'd tell James. But he wouldn't go about it unprepared.
He firstly talked to Lily Evans.
"Lils?" He awkwardly started
"Yeah?" She responded
"You know I'm bi, right?"
"Yeah, what about it?" She didn't understand
"Can- can I be honest with you?" He inquired
"Sure Reg. I can take it" Lily assured
"So, let's say there's a guy, hypothetically." He began
"Right"
"So this guy, he's really sweet, he has the nicest smile and when he looks at me I get this fuzzy warm feeling inside. He's adventurous and funny and he seems to always make me smile when I think about him." Regulus started ranting
"That's wonderful!" Lily encouraged
"Just one problem... he's already dating someone else. A girl." Regulus whined
"That's unfortunate" she sympathized
"He's told me he isn't sure about his sexuality, so there is a possibility he'd take me. But he is very much taken."
"That's such a shame"
"Of course, all hypothetically" Regulus assured
"Of course"
Nevermind he could tell James, he was dating Lily and Lily was Regulus' friend.
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Regulus, at this point, was well integrated into Sirius' friend group. He barely hung out with his Slytherin "friends" anymore. All but Barty.
Barty wasn't as crazy as everyone thought.
Regulus had befriended Barty Crouch Jr. because his mother had told him too. He didn't care for friends but his mother demanded.
Barty was a polite young man, he had a mental disorder that his father refused to treat. He was so smart and talented but sometimes Barty would fall into this kind of dark void and he'd start laughing manically. Or sometimes he'd stop eating and drinking until he passed out.
Barty had confided in him that sometimes he wished his father would have just killed him as a child.
Regulus wished similar things onto himself.
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He couldn't be around James anymore. Every second those beautiful eyes looked at him he wanted James more.
He needed a distraction. Regulus started to talk to Barty more often. Barty was pretty openly gay yet no one told his father. Maybe they were scared of him.
"Barty" Regulus mumbled
"Ye?" the boy replied
"I'm gay"
"Ok"
"What do you mean "ok" " Regulus stammered
"That's your business, not mine. I'm not Regulus Black" he exclaimed
"Y'know, I really love you" Regulus laughed
"I know, I'm just way too hot" Barty added
"Yeah sure"
"Are you like gay gay or not gay but it's easier to say it that way gay?" Barty questioned
"The second one I guess" Regulus reacted
"So, what is it?" Barty interrogated further
"It's a girl!" Reg laughed again
"No. I mean are you bi, pan, poly or something else entirely?" Barty made clear
"Oh, yeah. Erm...I think I'm bi." Reg stuttered
"Cool" he went back to reading
Regulus was feeling uneasy. He went over to Barty.
"What is it-" the Slytherin could only mutter before he was kissed.
The kiss was long and somehow Barty ended up on top of Regulus at the end.
Regulus' face was red as a tomato and Barty was grinning wildly.
"So,erm" Regulus said still staring at Barty
"I'd say you're pretty turned on by me" Barty observed smugly
"Fuck yo-" this time Barty initiated the kiss.
The kiss was impulsive on Regulus' side as well as Barty's side. Regulus felt stupid.
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As Regulus came to his sense he was laying in his bed, the only thing he was wearing were his underwear and it was 1:56 at night. In the end he just made out with Barty. His father would have him murdered otherwise. He had to go to the bathroom.
Regulus stood up carefully not to wake anyone and made his way to the bathroom but as he was about to step into it, a feeling overcame him that he needed to go to Sirius' dorm room. Maybe he could tell his brother or maybe he would just...never mind. He just needs to go there. Right now. So he went.
The boys Gryffindor dorm was very much still awake. He first saw James.
"James" he yelled
"What?" James replied
"What is going on here?" Regulus asked
"I'm not sure, I think it's a meet and greet/study night or something" James shrugged
"It quite fucking loud!" Reg practically screamed
"I know"
"Where's Sirius?" Regulus was looking worried
"No idea, not here though" James sat down
"That's doesn't fucking help" Reg mumbled under his breath as panic began rising in his body.
Where was his brother. Regulus decided to try the astronomy tower.
There he found Sirius and Remus. He contemplated wether or wether not he should disturb them but it probably wasn't a good idea right now. He couldn't ruin this moment between them. Oh no...
Tears began welling in his eyes as he ran back to the castle and into the Slytherin dorms. He didn't even know what he would've said to his brother but he would've been comforted at least.
By the time he'd arrived at his dorm and sat down on his bed he was full on crying. It was surprisingly silent.
"Reg, is that you?" a voice called out to him
"Yeah, I'm sorry" he muttered
"Regulus? Are you alright?" the voice spoke again
"I'm fine" he insisted still crying
"I'm coming over to you if you keep saying that"
Out of the dark a slim figure of a boy, Regulus knew well, appeared. It's was Barty.
"Merlin! You're crying" Barty confronted
Regulus didn't reply he just hung his head lower
"Hey mate, it's fine. What's wrong?" Barty asked
"I don't know I-" Regulus began panicking again
"Shh" Barty came closer, comforting his friend.
"If I was too much earlier then I'm sorry. I know I may have taken it too far. Please don't cry because of me." Barty pleaded
"I'm not" Regulus had stopped crying
His eyes were puffy and red by now
"It wasn't your fault. It was mine."
"What are you talking about?" Barty inquired confusedly
"I'm a coward, then I used you and then I couldn't even tell my brother." Regulus whimpered
"What?" Barty was now even more confused
"Promise you won't be mad and that you won't tell a soul?" Regulus required
"Promise"
"I'm in love with James Potter. I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. He's dating Lily, one of my best friends. I can't do that to her" he rambled
"Oh...oh no" Barty sympathized
"I couldn't deal with it and turned to you. I love you, I really do. Just not like that." Reg was so worried he'd lose his friend
"I was just at the Gryffindor dorms and I wanted to tell my brother. You know...at least tell him I'm bi but he was having a moment with his own crush and I didn't want to ruin it."
"I didn't even think of waiting a bit longer" Regulus explained
"Well, I don't like you like that either. I noticed it earlier, after that whole kissing thing.
But I don't mind if you kiss me, as friends", Barty affirmed, "and I love you too, as friends"
"Thank you"
"Let's deal with all this other shit tomorrow ok" Barty asked
"Yeah sure" Regulus answered