Crossroads

Sirius Black exits his father's study after listening to him droning on and on about how important it is for Sirius to behave in front of the guest they are receiving today. ‘Dress impeccably Sirius and do not embarrass us today or it will not be good for you.’ 

Sirius has lived his whole life with these people to know that the guest his father had invited today is Voldemort. His father was not just worried about Sirius embarrassing him. He appeared proper scared. 

After all walburga had been hinting it in the few letters she sends to him in all her stiff glory. This November Sirius will turn seventeen and his mother had not so subtly hinted quite a few times about how he will be given a great honour on the yule ball after his coming of age. 

Sirius had made the decision to leave these blood thirsty people once and for all but then his little shit of a brother has to go and show him his human side. Which made Sirius question that was there no way in which Regulus can be convinced to not side with this bullshit. So he decided to just go home this summer and try to see how everything unwraps. 

At the time, Sirius had not thought about how stifling it is to spend two months at this gothic dark house. How would he? After spending most his summers and winter break at the potters, since he started at Hogwarts. He momentarily forgot how suffocating his family was. He had only been thinking about Reggie when he told James that he will be staying at his parents’ house for a few days. His best friend was not at all happy. But Sirius persisted on making his fool of a brother to see logic. But then within two days at this hellhole with not even a decent house elf to talk to, let alone a human, he had been beginning to think it had been a mistake. 

Sirius tried to talk to Regulus but they had not spoken to each other in the last two years. That was because two years ago was his breaking point. That was the point where Sirius had come to the conclusion that his parents don’t love him they just want an heir. It can be him or Regulus or any other son they might have. He called his mother a bitch that summer two years back for magically locking him in his room so that he cannot go out in the muggle world. The joke was on her as Sirius had spent that time talking to James on their mirror and then when it became too much and he had not been given food for a week, still locked and Sirius could not further lie to James in his face, he had told him everything. James being James had sent for their house elf immediately to pick Sirius up and bring him to Potter manor. After that the whole summer was adventurous with James at his side. 

That was the first time he felt for James something. Something which was not just friendship. Something that was so big that sometimes it was difficult to breath. It was more than gratitude for being an understanding friend and opening doors to his home for Sirius. It was not at all brotherly love. It was… . Sirius at that time didn’t know what it was. He just knew that being with James was addicting. He could never have enough. Always wanting to spend more time with him. Wanting to be as special to him as James was for Sirius. 

Anyways, however much Sirius tried, he knew that he had played a major role in burning bridges in his relationship with Regulus and try as he might he didn’t know how to move past that. 

So, he did one thing which he could think of. He went out and bought art supplies for his brother's sixteenth birthday. He knew the little boy in Regulus could not deny it. He really loves drawing and painting. 

But Sirius can be cunning when he wants to be so he bought muggle version of supplies which are better. He is not ashamed that he tried to bribe his brother. Regulus must at least see that muggles are better in making better drawing materials. He thought that this can be way to make Regulus see logic. His little brother's moment of awakening. 
But after that Regulus just got submerged under his old habit and Sirius did not have the heart or courage to disturb him from it and talk about why the ambition of becoming a death eater is not a good one. That he should go for anything else like auror or healer or artist or curse breaking or literally anything in the universe is better then being part of a murder cult. 

So he once again went to pass time in his room all alone while Regulus at least began acting like the teenager he is by doing something he loved. For himself. Fir the first time in a long time not for his parents. Not the posh brat he becomes because their parent told him to grow up and act like the prim proper pompous kid. 

Everything was as normal as it gets in this house until one day Kreacher was crying in kitchen during dinner. Now, Sirius will be the first to admit that he did got a sick satisfaction at it. When he did not stop crying and things got uncomfortable,his mother said "kreacher" and the elf scattered away and his father and mother continued eating their food as if nothing is out of the ordinary. Then Sirius noticed that his parent's precious child Regulus was not at the table. 

Wait a minute he was not present during lunch too. Sirius had thought that the lad must be studying and that is why Walbitch had allowed him to not eat lunch. (Yes allowed. At Black household you can’t even skip meals on your own wish). But it was not like this crazy hag to allow her sons to skip two meals in a single day. Something must have happened because kreacher rarely cries and the only people he cares about to cry are his dear mistress and his precious young master. And mother looks just fine. So something is definitely up with his brother. 

When his parents left for their room he made a beeline towards Regulus’s room. 
There on the bed lies his baby brother with his lips forming a deep frown and his eyebrows twitching. He appears to be having some kind of nightmare. 
Sirius goes to wake him up. Why is this boy sleeping at this hour. Why haven’t he heard his mother shriek at her youngest for sleeping at untimely hours, which supposedly is so below their station. 

“Reggiee,,, Regulus… . Reg wake up. Common… . Are you unwell,,,,, did walburga punish you… . Reg wake up.” He tried to shake him up. 
But his brother didn’t even move. It was like he couldn’t even listen to Sirius calling him.

 
Then Sirius remembered about that ugly elf bawling in the hallway. He called for Kreacher. 

“ Why is Regulus not waking up. Has walburga done something to him. Tell me what happened.”

“Master Regulus is unwell. Yes he is. Today in the morning when Kreacher came to wake young master up. Kreacher sees that young master has fallen asleep on the floor. Kreacher asks him to wake up but master does not respond so kreacher calls for a healer after mistress told him to. Healer says that master Regulus is appears to be healthy otherwise. He could not detect any malady.  So he just asked to keep young master under watchful eyes and call him if anything changes. Poor master, kreacher is a bad elf. He cannot help his master… . .” With that the ugly thing started hitting it’s head on the wall. 

Sirius paid the elf no mind. Confused at to what had happened to Reggie. 

Sirius went to his room knowing that walburga will create a scene if she saw him not in his own bedroom. Most probably Regulus would wake up by morning. 

But wake up he did not. Not the next day. Not the day after that. Sirius could not understand what happened to his brother. So he did what he does best. Research! See many people thought that Sirius was just an arrogant pureblood, who went against his family on everything, prankster extraordinaire and one of the Marauder. Not that he wasn’t all that. But they forget that for pranking and causing mischief and creating mayhem, it requires creativity and talent. Out of the four of them, James and Remus were the creative one. They will come up with ideas most of the time. Not that he and Pete were not creative. They were but their role in the group was more of how rather than what. So yes, he loved reading. He loved finding new ways to be difficult for everyone around him. He hides his diligent side behind his charismatic personality. Nobody will look at him and call Sirius the bookworm when in reality he loves gaining knowledge. He had a reputation to uphold. He is a rebel through and through and he does not need the world to see the real Sirius Black. That is only for deserving people close to him. 

In that way, he and Regulus are the same. Hiding their real nature close to heart. Regulus because he wants to impress his parents so he hides the part that make him appear childish or kind or just being a 15 years old kid that he really is and acts like a grown up but end up appearing as if he has a bad case of constipation and Sirius because he wants to disappoint them. So he hides his good part. The studious Sirius. The serious Sirius. The responsible Sirius. His friends know that he can be all those things. Regulus knows. But outside closed doors he is the disobedient son. The Black ship of the Black family. 

So he reads book to find out what’s wrong with Regulus. On the fourth day on which Regulus is still asleep in a restless slumber, Sirius had been in the library. Finishing one book after the other, with no close to answers what ailment matched Regulus’s symptoms. Then he heard a wail from some floor down this one. This was unmistakably Kreacher’s. That must mean that Regulus either woke up or something bad had happened. 

When he reached to his brother’s room, there he sees his mother sending hexes on his brother. His clothes were turning red from the places where cuts have been made by that bitch. 

His mother had been busy hurting her youngest that she did not see him coming. Sirius was so enraged. He saw red and physically pushed her away. Her wand clattered on the ground loudly. 

This year he had a growth spurt, so he is practically as tall as her. Now she can’t look down at him with her sharp nose and constant sneer marring her face. When he spoke his voice was measured with an appraisable display of patience. “What are you doing, mother?” Practically spat the last word. “why are you hurting him. He is already unwell. What if you make it even more worse with your stupidity.” 

He never controls his temper when it’s between him and walburga. He will speak his heart out. He will strike where it will hurt her. Even if he had to take beatings or hexes or if he had to stay without food for long period for his insolence. But this time she is hurting his brother. Never Sirius had thought that Regulus is hurt at their mother’s hand. He was the preferred child after all. The obedient one. The one who follows walburga's words and order like a puppet. The one who is the perfect example of how children should be seen not heard. Was she like this to his brother as well? 

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that Sirius Orion. And how dare you push me.” She hissed with narrowed eyes. 

She looked at kreacher who was standing at the corner with wide eyes, staring at Regulus as if he want to heal his wound. The elf really did cared for his brother. Probably even more then his bitch of a mother ever did. She extended her hand, palm up, fingers flexing and looked at the elf expectantly. Kreacher snapped his fingers and walburga’s wand was once again in her hand. 

“Your brother has been sleeping for so long for apparent no reason. He must have been trying to irritate me. It’s just another one of his tantrum to get more of my attention. You get out of my way. Let me see how long he carries on with this drama.”

“Are you even listening to yourself woman. Why would he do that. He isn’t me. And even I won’t do it, knowing my mother goes feral the moment her children do something that is slightly troublesome. Or are you forgetting that Regulus is the obedient one. I am the bane of your existence.”

“Is this your doing then, you insolent boy. Have you done this to your brother? I should have known that my Regulus is not like this. Are you jealous of him? Why did you do it.  Tell me.” She said raising his wand at him now. 

A harsh laugh bubbled out of him. “Jealous,, of him… . Oh mother,, you are really delusional if you think so. What should I be jealous of? Hmmm? …His naivety. His too trusting nature. The wool you have pulled over his eyes that he cannot see for himself. The talent of his at being the best puppet to ever exist. Or his stupidity to think that you even care for him, let alone 'love him'. For being blissfully ignorant that his own mother is cutting his skin into shreds?. Tell me mother the list is too long,,, I can’t choose why should I be jealous of the boy whose own mother is causing him pain. You are too,… .. .. 

The rest of what Sirius was going to say was cut off when his mother lifted her wand and spat out “crucio”. And the next second Sirius is on the floor, twitching helplessly. 

Almost 17 years of staying at this hellhole bit never had his parents used an unforgivable on him. But today his dear mother made him understand why it is classified as an unforgivable. His whole body is on fire. It feels like he has been electrocuted. He had read about that in muggle science book. That is the closest he could describe this pain to. This unbearable pain. He can feel each nerve in his body. His mouth tasted so dry with how loud he is shouting in pain. He does not know how long it was. But when the curse stopped he knew that it was not longer than a few seconds. Felt like an eternity though. His own cry of pain and moans and whimpers fill the room. He looks at his mother from his position at the ground and draws a laboured breath in when she does not appears to strike again. 

“Hmm, Regulus did not woke up. Didn’t appear to have heard anything going on around him. Didn’t show any sign of hurt from my hexes. Didn’t show any recognition at your shrieking. My poor baby is really ill then. Kreacher call that useless healer. Ask him why has he not treated scion Black. If he knows what’s good for him and his family, he better correct whatever is wrong with my son.” With that he made way out of the room, not even sparing a glance on his form on the floor. Kreacher follows her behind like the loyal lapdog he his. 

Sirius closed his eyes and willed his body to get up. But his head was spinning too much. And his body hurts as if he had not slept in months with all the muscles too sore to even move a little. 

He wakes up sometime later. He didn’t even remember falling unconscious. There is light coming from the windows. Merlin, was he lying here the whole night. He calls kreacher to bring him a pepper up potion. Then orders the elf to heal his brother knowing his magic might be a little unstable after that curse. He hated that woman. To try and hex her son to see if he was faking his unconsciousness was something Sirius could believe she is capable of but then letting her precious baby bleed all through the night. Sirius has greatly misjudged the relationship between his mother and his brother. Maybe he was naïve too. Thinking that she was only being cruel to him only. But he had been stupid, thinking walburga Black could care about anyone. But Sirius knows that she thinks whatever she does is for the betterment of her sons. That woman is truly lunatic. The black madness has gotten to her. 

From that day Sirius sat at his brother’s bedside. Asking that Wretched elf to bring him books from library. 

When his brother woke up on the morning of the 8th day, the boy was understandably a little out of it. Healer checked him and once again said that nothing seems amiss. Just asked to let him rest and do not pressurise him. 

Sirius saw that his brother had changed. He could not exactly pin point what changed. But the boy won’t even look at him straight in the eyes. And when he thought that Sirius was not looking he would look as if Sirius has some life threatening disease and would die soon. Other time he would be so lost in his own thoughts. Eyes somewhere distant with a sad frown on his brother’s beautiful face. His eyes look older somehow. As if he had seen something too heavy for him to carry on. And Sirius does not know how to help. 

So he talks. Randomly. About anything and everything. About the time he had spent at Hogwarts creating mischief. About new spells he had learnt and created. About his dating life. About his friends. Trying everything to pull his little brother from that dark stupor he seems to have fallen into. 

Sometimes he is successful. The other times he keeps blabbering on, so lost in his story telling while Regulus is lost in his head. 

He feels a concern for Regulus he had not felt since leaving for Hogwarts the first time. The elder brotherly protectiveness is back with a vengeance after seeing the unconscious form of his brother for a week, not knowing what had transpired to make his brother like this. He will have to protect Regulus from whatever foul plans their parents had laid ahead. 

If you had asked a month ago, Sirius would have said that the last thing he wants to be was the perfect heir that they crave. He is not a trophy for them to show off. No, he is the fire that will burn them if they try to take him in their hands and try to mould him into something he is not. Because like fire he is unshakable, unstoppable. His fire had caught air and grown stronger since the first day he stepped foot on Hogwarts express. 
But that was before. Before he remembered that he loved his brother. Before he realised that there is someone who is being hurt by his vicious parents. Before, when he still had all the good feelings and emotions and thoughts about his brother locked up in some far corner of his mind. Before he saw his brother’s body covered with blood. Before he saw walburga raise her wand at her youngest, for the first time in front of his eyes. Before it stuck him that his parents most probably would let him go because he was more a hassle and less of help, that they still had a spare son to step up in his role as the heir. Before he realised that he does not hate his brother. He just doesn’t like to look towards the boy whose life could have easily been Sirius’s life had he not decided that he had had enough of his parents, if he had not got James then Sirius might also not have the courage to oppose them so openly. 

He was sorted in Gryffindor for a reason. He cannot, in good conscience, knowing that Regulus will have to bear the brunt of his leaving, run away, despite all nerves in his body screaming at him. 

So yes, Sirius goes up to his room and for the first time in a very long time he dresses in impeccable dress robes and polished leather shoes. Not a hair out of place. He won’t make any mistakes today. He will politely and patiently bear the next few hours with that terrorist. Talking nicely as he had been trained to. Today Voldemort is coming to meet heir Black and he will meet the heir Black he expects. He won’t meet the real Sirius Black. 
He will have to fend of whatever plan they had and then find a really good solution for this mess their parents have brought them into. 

Sirius is talented but he is not arrogant enough to say that he can win if he calls a literal dark Lord for a duel. And that also in presence of his parents who will never miss a chance to hurt him. No he will have to be smart today. 

He can do it for his not so baby brother, who deserves someone fighting for them, even if he himself is unaware of the need to stand up and fight. Regulus is worth it. 

Sirius had James to fight for him. Sirius will try to be that for Regulus. For the little boy that Sirius has once promised that he will fight the world for him. That it will always be  the Black brothers against the whole world. It's high times that Sirius fulfilled his long overdue promise made to his little brother.

He takes a deep breath and opens his bedrooms door to head downstairs so that whatever circus has been planned can begin and he can get over it.