All Alone
8th September, 1986
Safe to say, the rest of Maggie’s classes went much more smoothly than potions. History of magic is much more interesting than one would think, though Professor Binns is very easy to tune out, and to fall asleep to. (she may or may not have found this out firsthand).
Charms is the most cheerful class, the one that just feels so magical-straight out of a book. Professor Flitwick is a character too, always cheerful and encouraging
Transfiguration looks to be difficult, though they only started with their wands a few days ago. The first lesson, Mcgonagall showed her animagus form, which would be impressive if she hadn’t already seen James turn into a stag, or Peter into a rat, or Sirius into a dog, or Regulus into a cat. She would be even more impressed if she wasn’t jealous of how painless it is for them, how much control they have over it.
Maggie was really feeling the resentment today when her head was pounding in the middle of charms, when she felt sore from the hard wooden chairs in History of Magic, when she couldn’t even perform a simple spell without her magic going all haywire. Because tonight Maggie will have no control, she bends to the moon.
It’s her first full moon in Hogwarts, and she’ll be alone again. There is no Moony and Padfoot to keep her from hurting herself, no one who understands the pain, what's it like to lose yourself to a beast. That’s the worst part, Maggie thinks, no one understands. When she gets irritated leading up to the moon, she had no reasonable explanation as to why she was so moody and irritated. At home, there was an understanding, if the moon was around the corner, you are allowed some space to yourself. No one would bat an eyelid if they found her sitting alone in the dark because the light and noise was too much to handle.
Of course it could be worse, it's going to get worse actually. At the spry age of 12, all Maggie experiences are some pains on the days leading up to the moon, some bad headaches, and overall restlessness and irritability. Remus, however, gets so weak that he lays in bed for hours, flinches at the slightest touch, refuses to eat. Sirius says his body’s been breaking for so long, it can only take so much. Sirius also says not to worry, but how can Maggie not? After all, it's her future too.
“Maggie, are you sure you’re okay?” Allera asks, shuffling between flashcards, “You’ve barely gotten one answer right, and you have been spacey all day”. Maggie pushed her hair out of her face “I'm fine”. Her plate was bare, spare for some half eaten potato wedges that she just pushed around with her fork. “You’re not fine” Jacob chastised, “You haven’t eaten anything for dinner, usually you have two helpings”. Allera rolled her eyes across the table, “you’re so daft sometimes Jacob”. The younger twin pulled a sour face, “oi what did I do?”
Maggie smiled, Jacob and Allera were too entertaining, even her headache and sore joints couldn’t stop her from appreciating her best friends. Across the hall there was a loud bang from the Gryffindor Table, and Maggie thought her soul fully left her body. Her already sensitive ears were ringing, making her headache worse. “You really should go to the hospital wing Maggie” Allera suggeste, “you look ill”
“Er yeah ill do that, cheers A”
“Want me to walk with you?”
“No, i’ll be alright, thanks”
Maggie dragged her feet all the way to the infirmary, it was still early, and she was not the most eager to be hauled away to what is essentially another prison for the night. After taking every detour she knew (which wasn’t a lot, someone really needed to make a better map) Maggie still made it to the hospital wing a little early.
Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall were walking out of the office just as Maggie entered. “Ah hello dear, give me just a moment” Madam Pomfrey said, McGonagall quickly exited the room, giving Maggie a rare smile.
“Alright, off we go”. The healer leads Maggie out of the castle across the grounds and to the Whomping Willow, a tree with some serious anger issues. Just as Remus told her, the tree stood still once Pomfrey touched the special knot, revealing a small dark tunnel that the pair led through.
The shack was dark, wooden, and dirty, and that’s the generous description. The windows were bolted up, and Maggie could smell the iron blood that’s soaked through the floors. There was a cot pushed to the far side with crisp clean sheets and an old blanket, presumably for the morning after. The worst part though, is the fact that Maggie can smell Remus, and Sirius, and James, and Peter, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs scent buried deep into the shack, leaving Maggie feeling more isolated than ever.
“Miss Brenton, are you alright?”. Maggie touched her face and frowned when her hands came back wet. She wiped her face and nodded, but the older woman wasn’t buying it. She knelt down and looked Maggie in the eyes, “I’ll be back first thing this morning, right at sunrise”. Maggie nodded again, the healer giving one last squeeze before exiting out of the room, locking the door behind her.
Maggie went to the loose floorboard that Remus told her about and stowed away her items. The bronze eagle necklace, her ring, her wand, and clothes. Maggie layed on the floor instead of the cot (she would probably fall off) and waited for the moon to call. There was a familiar stretching feeling under her bones, it wouldn’t be long now.
When Maggie is alone with her thoughts for too much, her mind wanders.
And not in a good way.
Of course the main feeling she gets is an overall feeling of loneliness. While it was a little embarrassing to transform in front of her fathers, it made it better. With them she never felt alone.
As if they read her mind, a bright silver padfoot appeared in front of Maggie, bouncing across the walls. She only had a second to enjoy it before her bones started to snap and she started to scream. Padfoot disappeared and Maggie lost herself to the wolf.
The wolf is angry, the wolf is alone. Where is the pack? Where is the big one? Where is the different one? The wolf can smell them, they aren’t here.
—
Maggie awakes with a groan. She’s laying on the floor and everything hurts. She tries to roll over but hisses and goes back. Her whole right side is covered with bruises and scrapes.She must have spent the night barreling into the door in an attempt to escape. Too tired to do much else, she hobbled over to where she stashed her items, got dressed and wrapped herself in a blanket, greatful to get a little bit of sleep.
As promised, Madam Pomfrey came at sunrise. Maggie only half registered the door opening, still in a sleepy daze. It wasn’t until Madam Pomfrey placed her cool hand against Maggie's fevered head that she became alert enough to acknowledge the healer's presence.
“Where are you hurt”.
Now sitting up, Maggie lifted her shirt a little to reveal all the bruises and scrapes that covered her torso. Madam Pomfrey’s eyes widened a little. “Poor lamb” she said while flicking her wand causing all her cuts to close. “Nothing much to do for the bruises I’m afraid”.
Maggie shrugged, “it doesn't hurt too much”. Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips but said nothing.
Maggie grabbed the rest of her items and hobbled next to Pomfrey all the way back to the infirmary where she was handed a sleep potion and a pain potion. She gladly took both and tucked in for some much needed rest.
–
“-can’t we wait”, a voice called out, it sounds familiar
“Allera, we have class”, a second voice said, Jacob
There was some shuffling, (probably some eyerolls), and some more muffled voices before the door opened and closed again.
Madam Pomfrey pulled back the curtains to Maggie’s bed a few moments later, holding a glass of water. She set the glass down on the little table adjacent to the bed and checked Maggie's cuts. Some left scars, some didn’t.
"Feeling well enough for visitors?”, she asked tentatively. While it still hurt to move, she didn’t have a headache, and wasn’t feeling too tired, so she agreed. Madam Pomfrey escaped to her office, Maggie heard the fireplace roar, and the next time the curtains opened, the very people she needed were standing in front of her.
“Da!”Maggie reached forward and hugged Remus. Her body cried in protest, Remus was probably feeling the same, but the two held onto each other still.
“Good surprise then”, Maddie Pomfrey asked.
Maggie smiled and reached to hug Sirius. It was a good surprise.
Remus sat in the chair next to Maggie, he had deep bags under his eyes. His jaw was clenched like he was in pain, but he wore a smile on his lips.
“How are you feeling Mags?”Sirius asks.
“Fine, just some bruises on my side”
“You sure you’re alright?”
“Yes dad I’m fine”, Maggie looked to Remus, who was now sitting in a chair beside the bed. He didn’t look so convinced; his lips pressed together, eying the bandages . He didn’t choose to voice his opinions, though.
The three sat together in relative silence for an hour (another chair was conjured for Sirius), reading or silent talking, before Madam Pomfrey reappeared with a plate of sandwiches and two sleeping potions. She placed the tray and one potion on the bedside table for Maggie, then she took the second vile and placed it in Remus’s hand.
“Poppy-”, Remus began to protest but the witch cut him off.
“Remus you look dead in your seat, go home and get more rest before I ban you from ever visiting again”. Sirius took the potion and slipped it into his pocket, “he will take it when we’re home”
“Which is now”, she turned away from the boys and faced Maggie, expression now much softer. “Have a bit to eat dear, then it’s more sleep”
It seemed there was no room for protest so Remus and Sirius got up from their chairs and walked back towards the office into the fireplace. Madam Pomfrey drew Maggie’s curtains close, reminding her to take the potion when she’s done, and subsequently leaving her in peaceful quiet.
—
Maggie did not need to stay overnight, as most of the soreness and bruises seemed to die down and she didn’t have any broken bones. However, she was not released until after dinner.
When Maggie walked up to the common room, Jacob and Allera were sitting together in the back corner, whispering anxiously to each other. At the sound of the door closing, both twins looked up, and before she knew it Allera was booking it over to the door.
“Where were you”, Allera demanded. Maggie shifters around on her feet, “sick”
“The whole time?, Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t let us see you”
“Yeah, uhm I was taking sleeping potions so not much you could have done anyway.”
Allera seemed satisfied with this answer, and Maggie wasn’t going to push for more.
“Well as long as you're alright, we got all your homework”
“Thanks A, what did I miss?”
Maggie was filled in about a second year named Serman who confessed his love to a fifth year over lunch, and how a group Susan Smith nearly fell off her broom in flying class. Once all the events of the day and important lessons were recalled, the group headed up to sleep.
“Sure you’re feeling better?” Allera asked once they were each in their own beds
“Yeah I’m better now”, and Maggie wasn’t lying.