Ron
Ron had no destination in mind as he spun on his heel and apparated away from Neville. He had no thought in his head other than how he was such monumental, disastrous, toxic fuck up.
It made perfect sense why he would land here of all places, in the forest where he’d abandoned Harry and Hermione.
Out of a lifetime of bad decisions and monumental fuck ups, this had been the one that had haunted him the most, the one that had brought him the most shame.
His breathing quickened as he took in the lush green trees. It was a beautiful forest, but it looked haunted to him. He could practically hear Harry’s angry voice screaming at him to run home to his mommy, could see Hermione’s tear-streaked face, the last thing he’d seen before he apparated away.
He sank to the ground, his knees hitting the damp earth painfully as Neville’s tear-streaked face flashed through his mind, the last thing he’d seen before he ran away again.
People don’t change.
He couldn’t change.
Ron was the same cruel, vindictive fuck up he’d always been. He’d fucked up his friendship with Harry, fucked up his relationship with Hermione, fucked up his life with shitty career choices, and now?
Neville had been the one good thing Ron had in his life. He was kind and gentle, calm and supportive, loving and accepting in a way that Ron could never be.
And Ron had fucked that up too.
He never deserved Neville, never deserved the support and kindness the man had always freely given him. He deserved to be here in this godforsaken forest.
Alone.
Tears slipped from his eyes as anger gave way to shame.
He deserved this.
He deserved this.
“Was it intentional?”
Ron looked up, blinking away the tears that blurred his vision as Harry slowly came into focus, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans.
“Harry?”
“It’s pretty dramatic, mate, landing here. Even for you.”
“What are you doing here?”
But Harry didn’t answer. He just paced the forest.
“You gonna stay there on your knees all day?” Ron stood up, knees groaning in protest.
“What are you doing here?” He repeated.
“Neville called. Was worried about you. Said he’d checked your apartment, checked The Three Broomsticks, the Ministry.. even called Hermione.” Harry continued his slow circling of the forest.
“Not.. not Mum?” Harry glanced back at Ron, his mouth upturning in a small smile.
“You think I’d be the only one standing in this forest if he had? I got Gin to check. Subtly.” He turned away from Ron again, his head angling slightly upwards towards the sky, and Ron noted the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed.
“Was it intentional? Landing in this forest?” Harry asked in a husky voice. Ron shook his head.
“No.”
“Happy accident, then.”
“How did you find me?” Harry sighed.
“The auror trace.” He said slowly. “Beneficial for dangerous missions and errant, wayward friends of the Chosen One.” Ron stared at him, deadpan.
“You got them to trace me. That’s not even legal.” Harry shrugged.
“There are still benefits to being the Great Harry Potter, I guess.”
“I haven’t been back here since then, you know.” Harry said after a moment. “Since the war. I managed to go everywhere else, back to Hogwarts, Dumbledore’s grave, the Forbidden Forest.. I didn’t want any of it to have any power over me. Even Malfoy Manor, courtesy of Draco. Hermione too, although he didn’t want her to. Watched her stand in that room, in the spot where Bellatrix..” His voice trailed off, and Ron noted the bob of his throat once more.
“But this,” He continued after a moment. “This was too much for me.”
Ron watched his friend, watched his jaw tick, his muscles tense as his fist clenched and unclenched in his pocket.
“Out of everything that happened, Ron, this was by far the worst. It was probably the only time I truly believed we couldn’t defeat him, that I felt we were in over our heads. We had no idea where we were going, people were being captured every day, even if we did find the horcruxes we had no way of destroying them..” His voice trailed off as he stared into the trees. “And then you left. You left us. We were good and truly broken then.” Ron stared down at the ground.
“I’m sorry, Harry.”
“It took everything in me not to just..” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter though, does it? Not anymore.” He paused again, staring at the sky.
“What are you doing here, Harry?”
“What are you doing here, Ron?” Harry snapped. Ron didn’t answer. Didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t know how to explain the complexities of his and Neville’s relationship or what he’d done.
“He was hysterical,” Harry said after a moment. “When he called. It was like we were eleven years old again.”
“Did he.. did he tell you what happened?” Harry shook his head.
“He said it was personal, and he was worried about you.” Ron felt the sickening heaviness of shame settle in his belly again.
“He shouldn’t be.” Harry sighed.
“He cares a lot about you, Ron,” He said softly.
“He shouldn’t.”
“Maybe so, but he does.” Ron shook his head. “What happened?”
Ron didn’t know how to answer. Didn’t know what to say. How could he explain to Harry that Neville had been the best thing to happen to him? That he’d made him believe he could be better than he was? That he had awakened something in Ron that he hadn’t even known existed?
“Neville and I…”
How could he confess that he might be in love with Neville Longbottom?
Harry’s hand rested gently on Ron’s shoulder.
“I kissed him.”
The words were barely above a whisper, but they seemed to echo in the silence of the forest. Ron held his breath, his eyes fixed on the ground.
“Did you… did you not want to?” Ron looked up at Harry.
“What?”
“I mean, I’m just a little confused.”
“No. I mean, yes, I wanted to. I did it.”
“You wanted to.” Ron nodded slowly. Harry chewed his lip for a moment, studying Ron. “Well good for you, mate. Neville’s a great guy, you guys will be great together.”
Ron wrapped his arms around his middle, the sickening feeling returning.
“I think I fucked it all up. I.. I panicked, mate. I got scared.. I didn’t know if he wanted me to do it, fuck I still don’t know if he wanted me to do it.” Harry’s brow furrowed.
“Well.. Did he seem like he didn’t want you to?”
Ron paused. He could feel Neville’s hands still on his waist, could feel the tug of his jumper as Neville had held onto him. Could feel the way his body had melted against Ron’s as..
Oh. Fuck.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” Harry said softly. “Listen, there’s a lot of things in life that are complicated and confusing, right? But this? Loving someone? It doesn’t have to be. You’re a man now, Ron, and you’ve done a lot of growing up in the past few months. Don’t let this be the thing to set you back.” Ron ran his fingers through his hair.
“What am I supposed to do?” He asked quietly. Harry clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Talk to him, mate. It’s that simple.” Ron chuckled, wiping tears from his eyes.
“Yeah, I suppose it is.” He allowed himself to be pulled in against Harry as the man embraced him tightly. “You’re a good friend, you know that?” He murmured. Harry grinned as he released him.
“You are too, Ron.”