All These Things That I've Done

Neville would survive this.

He repeated it to himself as Harry reassured him he’d find Ronald. He repeated it as he picked up the fallen blueberries with slow, mechanical movements. He repeated it as Trix guided him into the house and sat him down in a cream colored armchair. He repeated it as the sun slowly began its descent and no one turned up.

Neville would survive this.

A cracking sound shattered the heavy silence of the house. Neville’s heart lurched as he ran down the hall towards the door, flinging it open, and he sagged against the wood of the frame as Harry waved sheepishly, Ronald standing beside him.

“Found him.” Neville gave Harry a watery smile, fighting back a fresh wave of tears.

“Thanks, Harry,” He whispered. Harry dipped his head.  

“S’not a problem. Anyway, you two have some things to sort out I think, so…” His voice trailed off and Neville nodded.

“Right, thanks Harry.”

“No worries.”

Harry turned, apparating away with a loud crack, leaving Ronald shifting uncomfortably on the gravel driveway.

“Do you.. want to come in?” Neville asked hesitantly. Ronald nodded.

“Yeah, that’d.. that’d probably be good.” Neville didn’t check to see if he was following as he turned into the house, but he breathed a small sigh of relief as he heard Ronald’s less-than-delicate footsteps behind him as he made his way towards the kitchen.

“Tea?” He asked.

“Thanks.”

The silence was thick as Neville filled the kettle, opting to do everything by hand. He wondered if Ronald was aware of his stalling tactic as he forewent any magic. He wasn’t sure how to start this conversation, if he should be the one to start it. He wasn’t sure where he should even begin..

The kettle whistled loudly, snapping Neville out of his spiral, and he poured to cups full of brimming water. He picked up the mugs in trembling hands and handed one to Ronald, settling into the wooden chair opposite him. He sipped from his mug gratefully and smiled – almost tenderly – at Neville.

“You always make the best tea.” He said softly. Neville huffed a small laugh.

“You’re easy to please.” He said. Ronald smiled again, his cheeks flushing a brilliant pink as he lifted the mug to his lips again. Neville watched in silence as Ronald’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

He needed to fix this.

“Ronald I –“

“Don’t.” Neville fell silent as Ronald held a hand up. “Please, just don’t.. talk. Don’t apologize again, just.. don’t.” Neville’s heart sank and he swallowed hard.

“Ronald..”

“I like you Neville.” The words stunned Neville into silence. “I like you. Far more than I should like you, really, far more than a friend. I have maybe been in denial about it for a while, but it’s true. I.. I like you. And I don’t expect you to reciprocate the feelings, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did, but I wanted you to know.”

“You like me?”

But Ronald had left. Had pushed him away, had ran off to Merlin only knows where, had called it a mistake. Had called him a mistake.

“You like me.”

He had said he regretted it. He wished he could take it back. He had shoved Neville off of him, had apparated half-wild just to get away from him. He said it was a mistake. A mistake.

None of this made sense.

“You like me.”

Ronald reached a tentative hand across the table, his fingers grazing Neville’s white-knuckled grip on his mug.

“I know I fucked everything –“

“Do you regret it?” The question slipped out of Neville’s mouth before he could reconsider. Pain flickered in Ronald’s eyes.

“I –“

“If it changed nothing. If everything would work out perfectly, if I told you I felt the same, if nothing had to be broken or fucked up or.. would you regret it?”

Ronald’s jaw clenched.

A muscle ticked.

He swallowed.

“No,” He said thickly. Neville nodded jerkily, his heart hammering in his chest. He stood up and grabbed his mug, walking towards the sink.

He didn’t regret it.

And yet he’d torn himself out of Neville’s grip and ran away.

Neville turned on the water, grabbing the sponge that rested in a small basket on the side of the sink. Slowly, he ran the sponge along the inside of the mug.

He didn’t regret it.

But he’d still ran.

“Neville,” Neville jumped as Ronald’s hand grazed his skin, resting on his waist. He turned to face him.

“Why did you leave?” Ronald’s hand remained steady on his side.

“I was afraid,” He said simply. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” Neville’s breathing hitched.

“But you’re not afraid now?” Ronald moved closer, closing the gap between them.

“Terrified.” Neville swallowed hard, his heart pounding.

“I didn’t regret it,” He breathed. Something fluttered in Ronald’s eyes, and his other hand swept around the back of Neville’s head, cupping it.

“Good.”

There was no surprise when Ronald’s tongue swept against the seam of Neville’s lips, which parted to allow him in. Neville’s own hands found their way beneath the wool jumper, and Ronald shuddered at the gentle touch of Neville’s calloused hands against his skin.

Ronald pulled his head back slightly, his eyes half-lidded and so filled with desire that it made Neville weak to see it.

“You like me.” He said quietly. Ron grinned before pressing a chaste kiss against Neville’s mouth once more.

“I like you.”

Five Years Later

Sun shone brightly through the large window in the kitchen. The scent of chocolate chip cookies permeated the air, and from somewhere in the back yard, Ron could hear the sound of music and his friends laughing.

A shiny glint of gold flashed in the window, followed almost immediately by Draco and Harry on brooms, racing after the snitch. Whoops of laughter followed them as two children ran by. Lily, a carbon copy of Harry with unruly black hair and green eyes, and Scorpius, a perfect mix of Hermione and Draco, with white-blonde curls and icy blue eyes.

A timer dinged, and Ron pulled the cookies out of the oven, setting them on top of the stove. One by one, he transferred them to a cooling rack, setting aside two that were particularly laden with chocolate chips – a treat for the children that Hermione would no doubt roll her eyes at.

He readied a tray with goblets of pumpkin juice for Rachel and the kids and a few bottles of butterbeer for the adults before he plated some of the cookies and made his way to the backyard.

“Oh, cookies. Thank God, Ron I’ve been dying for something sweet! Neville, be a dear and help me up.” Ron watched in amusement as Neville pulled the very heavily pregnant Rachel off the swing. He closed the distance between them, allowing her to pluck two cookies off the tray. She bit into one and moaned softly, her eyes closing.

“They’re good then?” He asked. Rachel nodded as she collapsed back into the swing.

“The best.” Neville took the tray out of his hands, setting it down on the small table beside the swing.

“Where’s Harry and Draco?” Hermione grabbed a bottle of butterbeer and pointed upwards.

“Reliving the glory days,” She rolled her eyes. “They were supposed to be playing a friendly quidditch game with the kids but..” Ron grinned. Although they had gone from civility to genuine friendship, there was no calming the competitive streak between Harry and Draco. “I’m sure one of them will catch the snitch soon enough.” Rachel snorted as she took another bite of a cookie.

“They won’t be catching it at all,” She said.

“How do you know?” Hermione asked. Rachel grinned as she lifted her right hand. A small, golden band encircled her ring finger.

“I replaced it with one of George’s homing snitches.” She said proudly. “The only person catching the snitch today is me!” She gave the ring a quick twist and within seconds the snitch landed in her outstretched palm, followed shortly by Harry and Draco who skidded to a stop in front of her.

“Getting your wife to cheat for you, Potter? How predictable.” Harry glared at the man as he grabbed a butterbeer and a cookie off the tray.

“Betrayed by my own wife,” He said, shaking his head slowly.

“Well I had to have some way to get you out of the sky and back down with us,” Harry smiled and bent down, pressing a small kiss to his wife’s forehead.

“I’ll always come back for you, love.” He said softly, before jerking his head down and taking a bite out of the cookie in her hand. “Well, you and Ron’s cookies.”

“Harry James Potter!” Rachel struggled out of the swing as Harry darted away, laughing brightly. Neville pushed gently on her back, getting her upright. “I’d get you if I could manage to get upright on my own,” She grumbled. “Only a couple more weeks before these babies are out, and let me tell you, there’ll be hell to pay, Potter!” Harry grinned as he deposited a new cookie in his wife’s hand.

“I’ll take whatever you give me, my love,” They shared a small kiss, at which both Scorpius and Lily groaned and declared it was the “grossest thing ever”.

“Right,” Draco agreed solemnly. “An absolutely abysmal display of affection. If you’re going to snog your wife, the least you can do is do it properly.” He grabbed Hermione by the waist and swept her down into a low dip, slanting his mouth against hers in a deep and far-too intimate kiss for Ron’s liking. Draco swept Hermione back upright, a smug grin on his face as her cheeks flushed a deep red.

“Dad!” Scorpius exclaimed. “That was disgusting!”

“Uncle Ron, you and Uncle Neville aren’t going to kiss now are you?” Lily asked nervously. Ron grinned.

“Don’t worry, Lily, I’ll spare you,” He said with a wink.

The sun began to set over the expansive garden. Rachel and Hermione were sitting on the swing, heads bent low as they talked about the most recent book they’d both read. Harry and Draco were flying low, lazy circles over the flower garden with the kids, whose laughter and whoops of joy carried over the entire garden.

“You alright?” Ron started as Neville came up behind him, his hands snaking around his waist to rest on his hips.

“Just watching,” He said softly. Laughter rolled over the hills as Draco pulled Hermione into a shockingly uncoordinated dance, jerking his arms above his head and rolling his hips, sending both Scorpius and Lily into peals of laughter.

“It doesn’t feel real sometimes,” Ron whispered. “This life we’ve got. It doesn’t feel.. real. Like at any moment I’m going to wake up with blood instead of soil under my nails on a cot in the forest instead of in bed with the man I love.” He sighed, watching as Harry twirled Lily in his arms and Scorpius led Rachel in stilted waltz that did not match the music whatsoever. “It doesn’t feel real, after everything we’ve done.” He turned suddenly, twisting in Neville’s arms so they were face to face and he dipped his head, grazing Neville’s lips with his own. “I don’t understand sometimes, how I got so lucky.”

“It’s not luck, Ronald,” Neville replied. “Don’t sell yourself short. Everything you’ve got you’ve earned. Your friends, your family, me, it’s nothing less than what you deserve.” Ron cupped Neville’s cheek, running his thumb lightly along the man’s lower lip.

“I love you, Neville Longbottom,” He whispered. Neville smiled softly.

“I love you, Ronald Weasley.”