Warm

Dearest Cousin,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I myself am quite well, as is my darling, Lucius.

As you well know, preparations for our upcoming nuptials are still underway and my heart is glad to report that our families have continued to offer their full and unhindered support.

I had the most intriguing conversation the other day, with your Mother, in fact. She was quite eager to tell me of your recent Quidditch success and thus, I was quickly inspired to confer both my congratulations and my condolences for the outcome of the match. I must also pass on my best wishes for your mock examinations, for which I am sure you are well-prepared. May Hecate smile upon you in this endeavour as well as your future Quidditch matches.

It has also come to my attention by my dear friend, Justine Avery, that your social calendar has been hearteningly full. I must implore you to share with me an account of this happy circumstance, and perhaps I may yet persuade from you an introduction to your new companions.

I look forward to seeing you during the Yuletide as eagerly as I await your response.

Yours sincerely,

Your cousin, Narcissa.

Regulus stared at the letter, sorry, warning in his hands for a few long minutes, translating it as he read and re-read the contents.

Hello to the most tolerable member of this family,  

I hope you feel as shit as I do. My fiancé is still a beautiful prick and I still haven’t decided how to feel about it.

Wedding preparations continue to be a nightmare and, as it turns out, the Malfoys are as gods-awful as us Blacks. They simply will not stay out of my business.

Your Mother is not happy with you. She was livid that you lost that Quidditch match and unimpressed that you caught the Snitch. Congratulations from me, though, I could never. Also, good luck with your exams because I’m pretty sure your Mother will blow a gasket if you don’t do well. So, Hecate help you with that, as well as your future Quidditch matches.

That bitch, Justine Avery, is gossiping about you. If you’re not careful, your Mother will find out not just about your Slytherin Muggleborn friends, but also that you’re consorting with Gryffindors now too. What the hell is that about? Is it because one of them is fit? Because, if yes, please introduce me, I could use the distraction.  

I am definitely not looking forward to Yuletide with our family. And if you don’t respond quickly, I will be taking out my frustrations on you.

Love you,

Your favourite cousin, Cissy.

Well, fuck.

Regulus read the letter over a few more times before getting out his own writing implements and beginning to formulate a reply.

Maybe he should take a step back from James and the plan for a bit. Try and get some studying in.

*

James Potter had no regard for Regulus’s academic success.

The week went by in a bit of a blur as Regulus fervently studied for his mock exams. Or he attempted to do so. He was trying his damn best to focus, but that gorgeous bloody prick was not making it easy in the slightest. He was everywhere and it was Regulus’s own fault.

On Monday, he was in the library revising when James dropped down into a seat at Remus’s table. His tie was askew and his hair an absolute disaster, a small crinkle between his eyebrows as he frowned down at whatever work he was doing. Regulus spent the next few hours trying his best not to stare.

On Tuesday, Regulus took his studying down to the lake, only to find James, Evans and Macdonald skipping stones as they chatted. The tips of James’s ears and nose were subtly flushed from the cold and Regulus’s thoughts were overcome with the urge to trace them with his fingertips.

On Wednesday, Regulus tried to relax with Evan and Emmeline in a game of chess during a break from studying, only for Peter to show up, James in tow. Regulus somehow ended up playing against the boy, and absolutely demolished him, insulting James with every move he made. But the Gryffindor just laughed, the sound crystal clear and warm as the Summer sun. Regulus couldn’t think of anything else for the rest of the evening.

Thursday saw James and Regulus back on the Quidditch pitch, bantering in breaks between training. Regulus spent most of his time just watching the other boy, his heart skipping a beat whenever James noticed and smiled his way.

Friday was another interrupted study session, Remus sending teasing glances whenever Regulus stared too long. It wasn’t his fault James rolled up his sleeves, revealing those strong, veiny forearms! How was Regulus supposed to concentrate when James flaunted himself like that?

On Saturday, there was more Quidditch practice, now followed by their new tradition of breakfast after. Regulus practically melted when James easily engaged with his other friends, slotting in like he had always been there.

By Sunday, Regulus was exasperated and he had more than had enough. He shut himself away in his dorm all day, pouring over his books.

It still didn’t stop him from thinking of James.

Regulus wasn’t sure when attraction had turned into a crush, or when a crush had turned into full-blown obsession, but he was hooked on the drug that was James Potter and there was no going back now. Regulus simply had to have him, no matter how brief their time together would inevitably be. Especially now that Regulus knew he was working on limited time.

They say that Icarus flew too close to the sun but Regulus understood it now – he would risk the burn a hundred times over for the chance to touch him.

And, oh, how Regulus wanted to touch him.

That beautiful boy had given him the worst case of blue balls he had ever known and Regulus wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it half the time. Certainly, James was aware of the tension between them, pulling away whenever he noticed their closeness in that endlessly frustrating and aggravatingly noble manner of his. But the rest of the time? When he ran his fingers through that bird’s nest he called hair or smiled that dazzling grin of his. When he laughed at one of Regulus’s insults or bounced eagerly in his seat, excitement shining in his eyes.

Oh, Regulus wanted to ruin him for anyone else.

It was cruel, Regulus knew, to want James’s first time. To want his heart and his soul and his body when he planned to throw it away in pieces later.

But Regulus had never claimed to be kind.

He wanted. And he would have him.

He had played by James’s rules for long enough. It was time to yank the ball from James’s court and place it in his own. He was tired of waiting.

“It’s a Hogsmeade weekend next.” Regulus said when he caught up to James and the Marauders after dinner.

“Yeah, it is.” James agreed easily. He absent-mindedly brushed a lock of hair from his eyes. Regulus longed to do it for him. “Have any plans?”

“I’m going with Barty and Evan, but they’ll be utterly unbearable so you’re coming with me.” Regulus stated, not even bothering to ask James.

“What?” The Gryffindor seemed entirely bewildered. Behind him, Sirius glared, Remus raised an eyebrow and Peter snickered quietly. Regulus sent them all a smirk before turning his attention back to his target.

“You’re coming with me.” Regulus asserted firmly, leaving no room for argument. “Meet me in the Entrance Hall at 9AM sharp next Sunday. And for the love of Hecate, brush your hair.”

James seemed to recover his wits. “Did it occur to you that I might have plans?”

“You’ll change them.” Regulus demanded.

“What if I have a date?” James asked, clearly trying to provoke him. It worked.

Ice flooded Regulus’s veins and his stomach turned at the mere thought.

He stepped close to the other boy, invading his personal space and staring into those warm brown eyes, uncaring of the vast number of students all around them. He could feel James’s breath on his cheek.

“You’ll cancel.”

Regulus was close enough to hear the hitch in James’s breath.

“Okay.” He said in a strangled tone.

Regulus smirked in satisfaction. “9AM. Sunday. Entrance. Comb. Say it back.”

“9AM. Sunday. Entrance. Comb.” James repeated dumbly, eyes transfixed on Regulus, just where they belonged.

Regulus’s smirk widened. “Good boy.” James inhaled sharply.

Then he took a step back and began walking away, calling over his shoulder. “Good talk, Potter. Looking forward to it.”

James just stood there, dazedly staring after him.

Finally, progress.

*

“Greengrass went on a chaperoned date with her new fiancé Parkinson the other day.” Regulus informed Peter as they lazed around, people watching in the West Courtyard. He had given up on studying for the time being as the universe was clearly against him.

“Smith’s probably devastated.” The Gryffindor commented, looking highly entertained by the news.

Regulus sighed as he watched some Third-Years argue about something or other. “He had to have known it wouldn’t last. She had to find a suitable match eventually.”

“She could have run away.” Peter countered. “For love.” When Regulus glanced at him, he had his hands clasped and his head tilted dramatically.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “That’s fairy-tale behaviour, not real life.”

“Didn’t your cousin Andromeda run away for love?” Peter argued and Regulus fought not stiffen, knowing he didn’t actually mean anything by it.

“I’m rather sure she ran away for freedom.” Regulus replied idly, feigning nonchalance. “Love was the bonus.”

“Hmm.” Peter leaned back in thought. “Would you?”

Regulus did stiffen at that. “Don’t be a fool.” He hissed harshly.

Peter seemed conflicted. “But James…”

“James is complicated.” Regulus told him shortly.

For some reason, this seemed to assuage Peter. Perhaps he thought Regulus was simply in denial. In any case, he settled down and a smirk crept onto his face. “You’re going on a date this week.”

“Don’t tell him that.” Regulus responded, settling down himself.

“You really think you can get him to go on a full date with you without him realising?” Peter questioned a little incredulously.

It caused a small smile to play at Regulus’s lips. “Yes.”

“What even is the point, if he doesn’t know it’s a date?” Peter asked next, looking baffled still.

“So I can get him to subconsciously see me as his boyfriend and push him in that direction. All without scaring him off.”

Peter blinked once. Twice. “You Slytherins are something else.”

“I’m telling Em you said that.”

Peter grinned. “Go ahead. She’s cute when she’s mad at me.”

Regulus raised a brow at him. “And you think we’re bad? You Gryffindors have a screw loose, I’m sure.”

The boy just chuckled. “So… tell me everything. Where are you taking him? What’s the plan?”

“No. You’ll spill everything and I’m quite looking forward to his reactions.”

“Nooo!” The blond whined, pouting exaggeratedly. “I won’t tell him, I promise.”

“I’m not taking the chance.”

“Urgh!” Peter lamented. “You’re no fun!” He sighed. “You’ll have to tell me everything after – Jamie’s debrief is going to be shit.”

Regulus could just imagine him mumbling something about having a nice time and then listing stupid stuff about their itinerary instead of the actual juicy bits.

“I’ll keep you entertained.” Regulus assured.

“Good.” Peter grinned in satisfaction. “Until then, let me tell you about the latest in the Eloise Nott saga.”

Regulus’s eyes lit up. “Please do.”

*

James was late by a few minutes, rushing up to them with his hair askew and his clothes dishevelled.

“Sorry! I know I’m late!” He called, sounding harried but not out of breath. Regulus didn’t appreciate the reminder of his stamina. “This morning has been kind of hectic.”

“Salazar, Potter, what’s chasing you?” Evan drawled.

“Sirius.” He answered with a straight face. “But don’t worry, I think I lost him on the fourth floor.”

Regulus couldn’t tell if he was joking or not but Barty seemed to take it as one. “Good one, Jimmy-boy! Looks like Reg’s deadpan is rubbing off on you.” He teased suggestively.

“One: don’t call me that.” Regulus perked up – a nickname James disliked? That was prime material right there.

“Two: I’m not kidding. He really was chasing me.”

Regulus clenched his jaw, cold seeping in. That arsehole had the audacity to try and stop James from seeing him? If he wanted to play dirty, Regulus could play dirty.

He stepped closer to the Gryffindor and reached up to run his hands through the boy’s hair. It was softer than he imagined it would be. James froze under his touch.

“I thought I told you to brush your hair.” He murmured in the boy’s ear before pulling back to fuss at his locks.

“I did, I swear!” James replied with wide eyes. “It just has a mind of its own.”

Regulus hummed in acknowledgment. “I suppose the chase didn’t help.” He finally finished styling the boy’s hair, giving him an appraising look. It was only a little better. “This will have to do.”

James swallowed. “Cool. Thanks. Should we go now?”

“Yes, we should.” Regulus agreed, tapping the Gryffindor’s cheek twice in teasing. He then headed out of the castle, biting back a smile when his three companions scrambled to follow. “We have a reservation to keep.”

“Are you going to tell us where we’re going yet?” Evan asked, falling into step with Barty behind Regulus and James.

The Gryffindor perked up at this. “You two don’t know either?”

“No, my darling Jimmy.” That was definitely going to stick. “Reg has been quite tight-lipped about his plans.” Barty said with a pointed look at his friend.

“You’ll know soon enough anyway.” Regulus responded, refusing to give the game away just yet.

The group fell into easy banter after that, sniping back and forth without a second thought. In particular, Barty and James seemed quite intent on pissing each other off as much as possible, to Evan and Regulus’s amusement. In retaliation for the ‘Jimmy’ nickname, James took to calling him ‘Junior’, which caused Barty’s eye to twitch every time. Regulus would have been irked by the animosity but, strangely enough, they both seemed to be quite enjoying themselves. And far be it for Regulus to spoil their fun.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the town and Regulus led them towards their destination. An evil part of him delighted when all three of them immediately began freaking out.

“Madame Puddifoot’s?” James exclaimed incredulously, looking rather panicked.

Barty seemed to be having similar feelings. “Har, har, Reg, we both know people only come here on dates.”

“That’s because this is a date.” Regulus stated.

If possible, his three companions became more flustered at that.

“What are you on right now, Black?” Evan blustered nervously. “This isn’t–”

“Yes, it is.” Regulus interrupted firmly. “I have had quite enough of watching you two dance around each other for absolutely no reason at all. You’re both head over fucking heels, disgustingly in love with each other.” He stared each of them down as they both froze in shock. “So, you’re going on this bloody date. And I will supervise to make sure neither of you fuck it up.”

“And me?” James asked in a small voice, raising his hand as if he were in class. “Why am I here?”

“You’re my eye-candy. Now be quiet.” Regulus said before turning his attention back on his friends. He raised an eyebrow at them challengingly, daring either of them to argue.

“Reg, you can’t, you can’t just decide– I mean, my parents… and that’s not even – fuck – B don’t listen, he’s just…” Evan was officially in panic-mode, face flushed with embarrassment as his gaze went back and forth between Regulus and Barty.

The other boy, meanwhile, seemed completely frozen as he processed this turn of events. It was an interesting switch in dynamics for the two of them but Regulus was taking it as a good sign.

“This is all just a misunderstanding, I think– a joke! Ha ha, Reg, good one!”

He ignored Evan’s bullshit chatter and stared past him to Barty whose gaze slowly met his. An admittedly heart-wrenching mixture of hope and fear mingled in the boy’s eyes as he stared at Regulus in silent question. Regulus nodded in answer, hoping with everything in him that Barty would trust him on this and take the leap of faith.

By some grace, it worked.

“Ev.” Barty interrupted breathlessly. The other boy’s rambling immediately cut off.

“I want to go on the date.” Barty said, his voice shaky with terror but his eyes determined. “With you.”

Evan stilled, eyes locking on Barty’s. “B…”

“Please say yes.” Barty whispered, already curling in on himself.

Evan studied the boy for a few moments, searching for any kind of false pretence, but he didn’t seem to find any. He glanced over at Regulus for confirmation who nodded once again.

A weight seemed to lift itself from Evan’s shoulders. “Yes.”

The effect was immediate. Barty’s face lit up in a grin, eyes sparkling as they widened and a disbelieving laugh bubbling out from his throat.

“I’m going on a date with Evan Rosier?”

Evan’s expression mirrored Barty’s. “You’re going on a date with Evan Rosier.” He confirmed. “Chaperoned by Regulus Black and James Potter, apparently.”

Barty straight up giggled delightedly. Regulus had never seen him like this before, even when they had been together.

“Oh, fuck yeah! Let’s go inside!” He grinned. “I’m going to date the shit out of you, Ev!”

The blond grinned back. “Let’s make Potter so jealous he cries.”

“Hey, now…” James tried to interject but Barty was too busy swooning to care.

“You just get me.” The brunet sighed adoringly. “We can torture Reg at the same time for doing this to us.”

“Oh definitely.” Evan practically had heart eyes by now. “I am rather glad, though.”

With that Barty grabbed the blond’s hand and tugged him into the building, practically radiating excitement.

James awkwardly stared after them. “Should I be here?”

“Yes, you’re my eye-candy, remember? You’re here to make this more bearable for me.” Regulus answered impatiently, grasping James’s arm and dragging him inside.

“I don’t know if I should–”

“Shut up.”

“Do they really need chaperones?”

“Why?” Regulus asked, peering up at him through his lashes as he paused to push open the door. “Want me all to yourself?”

James choked on his own saliva.

Smirking victoriously, Regulus pulled him inside, giving the reservation name to the hostess, and they all settled into a small booth, Evan and Barty squished together while Regulus tucked himself up against a flustered-looking James.

“To be clear, we’re pretending we’re friends who just love the hot chocolate here, right?” Evan confirmed quickly with Regulus. He was just as paranoid about his own controlling parents.

“No need to get disowned over this.” Regulus said by way of agreement. “And you’re paying, by the way.”

“How generous of me.” Evan drawled but he didn’t look particularly upset with Barty pressed against him. He sent Regulus a grateful look, clearly clocking on to how he had engineered a public date for them that would look platonic enough to anyone watching – it was well-known by now that the four of them were friends. Regulus just quirked a lip in response.

The brunet soon demanded Evan’s attention, though, and the two of them quickly got lost staring into each other’s eyes as they flirted outrageously.

“So…” James began awkwardly. “This place is… nice.”

“It’s an eyesore, Potter. I swear it gets frillier every time I see it.” Regulus said derisively. “Now do you possess any social skills at all or are you going to sit there waffling like an idiot the whole time?”

James blinked. The rudeness seemed to bring him back to himself as a small lopsided smile inched its way onto his face. “Maybe a bit of both.”

“Godric, you’re an imbecile.” Regulus said just because he knew it would make the Gryffindor chuckle. It did. “At least make yourself useful and go order me a coffee. You can put it on Evan’s tab.”

“Sure. What’s your order?” James replied, amused.

“Get me a mocha with two pumps of caramel.” Regulus instructed. “And one of the hazelnut-chocolate croissants.”

“That’s… sweeter than I was expecting.”

“Oh, and what’s your order?” Regulus asked sardonically.

“I’m more of a tea drinker but I usually just take my coffee black. Was going to go for an Americano this time.” James answered slowly.

And that was… not what Regulus was expecting. Though, oddly, it fit him.

“Regular tea order?” Regulus asked.

“I tend to go for a herbal blend, but I switch up the flavour depending on my mood.”

Regulus hummed in acknowledgment. “White and sweet as I can get it.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“Go get my drink.” Regulus ordered. James obeyed with a smile.

“Wow you’ve got him whipped.” Barty commented, having apparently managed to tear his gaze from Evan’s eyes.

“Like either of you can talk.”

“Does he even know this is a double date?” Evan asked wickedly.

“If he did, he would’ve been out the door by now.” Regulus gave them both a warning look. “Stick with the chaperone story or I’ll rip out all of your teeth one by one.”

“Fine, fine. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.” Barty placated before turning on Evan with doe eyes. “Get me my regular, please? And a blueberry scone?”

Evan folded immediately under his gaze. “Course, B. I’ll be right back.”

Barty sighed contentedly as he watched him walk away. “Thanks, Reg.”

“You can repay me by brushing up on your silencing wards.” Regulus answered, causing the boy to smirk.

“Where would be the fun in that?”

Regulus only huffed and rolled his eyes in response.

“Wanna see who can fluster their boy more?” Barty asked with a sly grin. Regulus knew there was a reason they were friends.

“You’re on.”

*

It ended up as a tie. James actually spilled his drink all over himself at some point but Evan had to rush off to the toilet to calm down at another. The both of them very nearly choked on multiple occasions while the other two watched in immense satisfaction. All in all, Regulus had an excellent time.

More importantly, Barty and Evan seemed to have a great time too. There were a few stilted moments of awkwardness between them as they fumbled on their transition from friends to more, but Regulus and James were there to fill the gaps and it appeared to put them both more at ease. Just as Regulus had hoped.

And James seemed to relax more and more as the time passed. He was so friendly and easy-going generally that it was difficult to spot the difference, but Regulus could see the way his smiles became more genuine, the way he sat straighter and gestured more freely with his hands when he talked. Regulus basked in the warmth of it.

After a few hours, they finally poured out of the tea shop and back into the cold, deciding to walk around the town together. They visited the joke shop, red-cheeked and laughing by the time they left, as well as stopping by the bookstore. James dutifully carried Regulus’s stack of books for him as he made his way around the shop, picking out anything that interested him before narrowing down his final selection. The Gryffindor even carried the bag for him after they left. Ever the gentleman while completely oblivious.

By the time lunch was approaching, they had popped into a few more stores, bantering all the while, until they decided to shuffle their way into The Three Broomsticks for some food. It was quite crowded now that it was later in the day but the four of them managed to claim a booth to themselves.

They were already well into their meal when some unwelcome intruders came upon them.

“James.” Sirius greeted tightly, an exasperated-looking Remus at his side. “Having fun on your little date?”

Regulus could practically see James straining not to let his eyes flick over to Barty and Evan. It pleased him to know that James had picked up on the need for subtlety and was actively trying to protect his dear friends.

“We’re just friends, Pads.” He responded ambiguously, even though he was under the impression that this was, in fact, a date for B and Ev. Though, he didn’t know he was on a date with Regulus too.

“I thought you’d be done with them by now.” Sirius bit out, jealousy colouring his every word. It was extraordinarily satisfying.

“Come on, Padfoot. I’ll have plenty of time for you later.” James soothed, seeing right to the root of the issue immediately.

Sirius’s jaw clenched in irritation. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just come with me and Moony.”

“And third wheel all day? I do that often enough. And besides, Regulus asked me first.”

Oh, he was going to hate that.

Predictably, Sirius’s resorted to straight-up glaring. Regulus decided to add fuel to the fire by leaning in closer to James, who shifted to accommodate him without a second thought. Sirius’s nostrils flared.

“So you’re choosing him now?” The dramatic git burst out, ignoring his boyfriend’s warning look.

James just sighed. “We’ve been over this, Pads. I’m not choosing between anyone. I’m a lover!” He tried to joke. “I’ve got plenty of room in my heart for all my friends.”

“And I’ve got a sixth sense for scheming snakes.” Sirius lowered his tone, fixing his best friend with a meaningful look. Regulus’s heart started beating quicker. “He’s up to something, I just know it.”

At this, both James and Remus exchanged looks with each other, seeming as though they’d had this conversation before. That was not a good sign.

“Can we talk about this later, Pads? I’m sure you and Moony want to get back to your date.” James answered diplomatically.

“Yeah, I’m hungry, Starshine.” Remus played along. “Let’s go find a table.”

This seemed to do the trick but just barely. Sirius sent Regulus one final glare before he stomped off with his boyfriend.

James sighed down at his rapidly cooling food. “I’m sorry about that lads.”

“Don’t be, Potter. That was all him.” Evan assured him. “What a prick.”

James didn’t look particularly assuaged. “I don’t know what’s up with him lately. He’s a possessive bastard – I know that, I’m not an idiot – but he’s been strangely territorial lately, even for him.”

Well, that was both good news and bad news. The plan was certainly working as Sirius was getting entertainingly jealous and worked up. And best of all, it was clearly putting James and Remus off. But Regulus hadn’t quite expected for Sirius to sniff out the plan. He had no proof, of course, which could be an advantage; he might come across delusional and paranoid, effectively pushing his friends away. But it could also end disastrously if Regulus wasn’t careful.

For right now though, James needed comfort. Regulus subtly moved his hand under the table to rest on James’s leg, squeezing in a way that he hoped was reassuring. It seemed to help a little but the Gryffindor still appeared troubled so Regulus looked over at his friends for help.

Luckily, Barty stepped in. “Jimmy, if you bring down the mood of my date any further, I will be forced to take drastic action to restore it, and I’m really not sure your delicate heart can handle watching me give head.”

Evan choked on his spit.

It was not at all the route Regulus would have gone but it startled a laugh out of James all the same. “Godric. Spare me.”

“Maybe I should go for it anyway? You might just learn a thing or too.” Barty smirked wickedly. “I happen to have experience which would be remarkably relevant to you.”

“Are you that desperate for cock, Junior?” James taunted in a way that was starting to interest Regulus.

“Always.” Barty smirked back shamelessly. “Say the word, and I’m on my knees.”

Evan swallowed at that, shifting in his seat slightly.

“I suppose I should’ve known.” James chuckled. “Have fun with that one, Rosier.”

“Will do.” Evan choked out.

Regulus was mainly bewildered by the dynamic of these two – they seemed to flit between flirting and fighting at a rapid pace, sometimes both at the same time. Regulus felt a flare of jealousy in his stomach, even though he was quite sure they were not interested in each other in that way.

“James.” Regulus said, just to reassure himself. On cue, the boy’s head snapped to face him automatically, soothing his nerves in an instant.

“What?” The Gryffindor asked earnestly, his poor mood well and truly gone, and his attention completely devoted to Regulus.

“Eat your food.” The Slytherin instructed, just to have something to say.

James smiled, a little confused by the order, but he obeyed all the same, picking up his fork. “Yes, sir.” He said playfully.

“Good boy.” Regulus purred in James’s ear as he squeezed the boy’s thigh again, unable to help himself. James’s grip on his fork tightened for a second before he relaxed.

Oh, Regulus would never get tired of teasing him.

*

“I still can’t believe you got him to go on a date with you.” Evans said, impressed.

“I still can’t believe he doesn’t know it was a date.” Peter shook his head disbelievingly.

“I absolutely can.” Remus added tiredly.

Their debriefing circle had gotten noticeably bigger in recent weeks. First, Emmeline dragged Peter along, unwilling to part with him after a date. But soon, the Gryffindor started showing up on his own, bringing Remus along. When Evans had heard, she insisted on being allowed to join, Fenwick and/or Macdonald rocking up with her more often than not. It was kind of baffling how invested they all were.

The original group didn’t disclose the revenge plan to their new additions, simply letting them think that Regulus was seducing James of his own volition.

Currently, James was off spending some quality time with Sirius and Mckinnon so neither of them would notice the majority of their friends were ‘consorting with snakes’ once again.

“What I don’t get,” Macdonald started, “is what the hold-up is. Baby Black’s obviously interested, so what is James waiting for?”

“Sirius to die, probably.” Regulus drawled bitterly, examining his nails. Peter snorted.

“So, it’s a loyalty thing.” Fenwick mused.

“Disgustingly noble, that one.” Dorcas sneered. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Reg.”

Regulus flipped her the bird.

“It’s becoming an insurmountable obstacle at this point.” Pandora interjected with a frown. “I’ve tried talking to him about it but he avoids the topic like the plague.”

“Try living with him.” Remus sighed. “He’s as stubborn as a mule.”

“To be fair.” Emmeline said quietly, playing with Peter’s hand in her lap. “Sirius isn’t handling mine and Pete’s relationship well, which is probably discouraging.”

“He’s barely speaking to me at all, and I’m dating his brother’s friend.” Peter agreed sombrely. “Not his actual brother.”

“What a prick.” Barty muttered from Evan’s lap, drawing a few conflicted looks from Sirius’s friends.

“Maybe we need to stage an intervention, or something.” Evans suggested.

“That seems drastic.” Macdonald argued. “Baby Black hasn’t even tried asking James out yet.”

“He would say no.” Regulus responded quietly, knowing it deep in his gut. “And then he would cry.”

There was a lull in the conversation.

“Well, something’s got to give.” Peter said determinedly, breaking the silence.

“They would already be together if it weren’t for Sirius.” Evan pointed out.

“Let’s take him out. I volunteer.” Barty grinned maniacally.

Remus frowned in protest. “You’re not murdering my boyfriend.”

Barty pouted. “Not even a little bit?”

“How do you murder someone a little bit?” Pandora wondered aloud. They all ignored the question.

“What if you just jump him?” Evans suggested. “James has no self-restraint, surely he’d just give in right away.”

Regulus shook his head. “He has plenty of self-restraint. Trust me.”

“Really?” Macdonald asked in disbelief. “This is James we’re talking about, right?”

“No, he’s right. You didn’t see them on the date earlier.” Barty interjected. “Jimmy-boy’s got an iron will. I would have caved instantly at the ‘good boy’ thing.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “You did it again?”

“Again?” Evans exclaimed.

“When he was demanding James go on the not-date-date, he made Prongs repeat the time and place back to him then called him ‘good boy’.” Peter explained hurriedly. “Now what was the second time?”

Barty recalled the second incident for them all with an evil grin.

“Damn, Black.” Fenwick said, impressed.

“I also had a hand on his thigh and squeezed at that point.” Regulus revealed.

Evan whistled. “You didn’t! How did I not notice that?”

Regulus shrugged. “It was under the table.”

“Okay, I think I underestimated how intensely you’ve been going after that poor boy.” Evans said, staring at Regulus appraisingly. “I thought the potions planning session was a one-off.”

This prompted some questions about that particular incident which quickly devolved into the whole group exchanging stories about things they witnessed between Regulus and James.

“Okay, now I’m just impressed that Prongs is still standing.” Remus said at last.

Fenwick nodded in agreement. “And I thought Fab was bad.”

“You’re even crueller than I thought.” Evans added. “But simultaneously… sweeter?”

“Just how Jamie likes ‘em.” Peter grinned.

“I have a question.” Pandora said suddenly, sitting forward and looking Regulus in the eye. “You’re not going to like it.”

Oh, he hated that opening.

Warily, he raised an eyebrow, signalling the go ahead.

“Have you two talked about your feelings?”

Every head swivelled in Regulus’s direction. He tried not squirm under their anticipatory stares.

“… Why would I willingly subject myself to that?”

A chorus of frustrated groans and annoyed versions of his name came spilling out of the group.

“Well,” Pandora smiled kindly, but there was a menacing sort of force behind her words. “Have you considered that James might be more willing to brave Sirius’s wrath if you actually tell him how you feel?”

“He knows how I feel.” Regulus insisted weakly.

“He knows you want to fuck him.” Pandora corrected. “He doesn’t know if you actually like him or not.”

Regulus paused, scowling at her. “… Do I have to?”

“I don’t have any better ideas.” The girl answered cheerfully.

“This is a good plan actually.” Peter hopped on board.

Remus was nodding too. “You might just have to spell it out for him.”

“Well, yeah, but he’s also a romantic. He’ll love a good declaration.” Peter explained.

“I’m not declaring anything.” Regulus protested.

Evans smirked. “No, you have to now. None of us are going to let you chicken out.”

“It’s not that bad, just tell him you like him. Easy!” Barty needled.

“There is nothing easy about it.” Regulus denied.

“Sure there is!”

“Crouch, you’ve been in love with Evan for the past year and you didn’t say anything until I tricked you both into a date earlier today. You are in no position to talk.”

“Yes, and now we’re very happy together and you’ll be the best man at our wedding.” Barty replied easily.

“Wedding?!” Came Evan’s bewildered voice. They both ignored him.

“The point is, you were right – we both needed to get over ourselves and take the leap.” Barty finished sagely, nodding with the demeanour of an old man with years of life experience under his belt. “So leap little grasshopper!”

Regulus glared at him. “I want to set you on fire.”

“I’m not into temperature play, darling.”

“I will strangle you in your sleep.”

“Promises, promises.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Why do that when I have Evan to do it for me?”

“Enough!” Evan cried. “You tortured me enough earlier – I think I might spontaneously combust if I have to hear any more sex jokes out of your mouth today, B!”

Barty paused consideringly. “Wanna go fuck?”

“Please.” Evan whined.

The brunet grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door without another word. Regulus watched them go.

“They better not fuck on my bed.”