Chapter 3
The next day came around so Sirius begrudgingly got out of bed and got dressed ready for a day of lessons and “socializing” with Remus. He didn’t mind the lesson part of the day, it was being alone with Remus that scared him. He felt insanely comfortable with Remus and it scared him slightly. He had never felt this way with anyone else and therefore didn’t know what to do. This feeling was strange and surreal to him. He wasn’t just scared to be alone with the guy he knew he wanted to be more than just friends with, he was petrified. Shit… was he gay for Remus??? No, of course he wasn’t. He was the heir to the most nobel and well - respected house of Black. He couldn’t be gay for the half-blood werewolf. No, he just wanted to be close friends with the very very attractive, taller male. He definitely didn’t fall asleep last night dreaming of their future house and their lives together until they die, nope. That wasn’t what happened. He picked out an oversized jumper and some baggy black jeans to hang out with Remus. He thought he didn’t look like any particular sexuality and the outfit didn’t show off his body so it was fine. He met with Remus at 7pm and they both took a book each to the Black Lake.
Sirius thought that Remus meant they were going to sit by the lake and talk but much to his surprise, Remus just wanted to sit and read. Sirius wondered whether Remus had really invited him because he felt sorry for him and apparently his face said it all because Remus, without looking up from his book comments “no, I didn’t invite you here because I felt sorry for you, I invited you here because I enjoy your company so don’t overthink it Sirius.” Sirius was immediately taken back by this and was thoroughly shocked by Remus' guess of how he was feeling. He got it spot on. Sirius was feeling like Remus pitied him, he did feel like this was out of sorrow and pity for him. “Oh, uh, sorry. I haven’t really had any other friends who understand how I want to hang out with them. Whenever I suggested reading, James would always say it was boring so I eventually just gave up mentioning it.” Sirius explained to an intently listening Remus. “I get it, sometimes I come down here to relax and read my comfort read.” Sirius was starting to realise that his anxiety was actually just turning into butterflies around Remus, maybe he was falling for him? Shit, he was. He was falling for the worst person he could fall for in his parents eyes.
Remus on the other hand looked ethereal, relaxed with his book in one hand, the other holding a bottle filled with what looked like cold coffee. Sirius couldn’t help but stare at the boy, admiring every feature of his face and body. Fuck, he was staring at his lips. They just look so lonely and kissable. “Wanna talk or something?” Remus looked over at Sirius, putting his book away. “Kinda, but I don’t want to freak you out. I don’t even know why I’m like this or what type of this I am.” Sirius started rambling. “Sirius, it’s ok, take a deep breath and start from the beginning, I’m not going to judge you, I promise.” Remus moved closer to him, holding his hands to stop them shaking too much. “Well, I started having feelings for this boy last year but I’d never spoken to him and well, I didn’t even know I was falling for him until about 40 minutes ago.” Sirius’ voice trailed off as he knew he had said too much when Remus sat up straighter. “Well, I’m sure this boy either feels the same or won’t judge you for having these feelings for him.” Remus said in a quiet voice after taking a moment, “Who is this boy, if you don’t mind me asking?” With that, Sirius put his hands around the back of Remus’ neck and pulled their faces closer. “You.” he replied before pressing his lips against Remus’. Remus kissed back. Shit , Sirius didn’t know what to do. Remus slowly pulled away from the kiss, feeling like him kissing back had somehow scared Sirius. “Hey, Sirius, are you ok?” Remus asked, taking his body slightly away from Sirius. “Oh yeah, sorry, Remus… why did you kiss back? Was it because you actually wanted to or was it because you felt sorry for me? Or was it because you felt forced because I kissed you first?” Sirius’ panic rambling was stopped by a loving Remus wrapping his arms around the boy’s body. “Sirius, I didn’t kiss back because of those reasons, I kissed back because from the moment I saw you for the first time last year I’ve had butterflies in my stomach whenever you were around. I like you alot Sirius and I should ‘ve told you.” Remus explained as Sirius leaned on him, intently listening to every word he said. “So there’s only one thing to do now… Remus Lupin, would you like to be my boyfriend?” Sirius asked him. “Yes, it would be my honor.” Remus replied, taking his boyfriend in his arms and lying with Sirius cuddled into his chest.