mystery of love
Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me
The first time that you touched me
Oh, will wonders ever cease?
Blessed be the mystery of love
Lord, I no longer believe
Drowned in living waters
Cursed by the love that I received
From my brother's daughter
(‘Mystery of Love’ by Sufjan Stevens)
Thursday. 10:53.
“Ahh, perfect. You’ve just enough time to get you nice and settled. Are you ready, love?” Effie Potter asked. She and Monty, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had all come to Kings Cross station, gone through Platform 9 and ¾ to wish Regulus a safe and happy return back to Hogwarts.
“I think so. Looks like James and Sirius are loading up my stuff without asking me. How thoughtful,” Regulus said in a mock-sarcastic tone. He looked off at the two of them who were talking and packing Regulus’s trunks into the storage units inside the train corridors. When they reappear back, Regulus could see that James’s face was about the shade of a tomato. “I wonder what they’re talking about.”
“Who knows with those two! Probably some prank they’re going to play on the Mckinnons,” Monty replied.
“Nah, Remus and I would’ve already known about that by now. I think they’re plotting something else.” Peter winked at Regulus, who raised his eyebrows.
“Do I want to know what’s going on?” Regulus asked.
“We’ll see,” Remus answered,
“Right!” Sirius barked, slinging an arm around Regulus’s and Remus’s shoulders when they had returned back to the group. “Are you off then, Reg?”
“Probably should start making my way on. There’s probably not anything empty now. I’ll have to spend an entire train ride with Gryffindors if I’m lucky enough,” Regulus teased, sticking his tongue out.
“I think you’ll live, considering you spent the whole summer with us and didn’t complain for a second about it.” James smirked.
“Hmm…maybe not to your face, mon lapinou,” Regulus retorted. Sirius gasped and smacked a hand over their mouth – naturally dramatic, being French and all. Monty laughed and ruffled his hair, although Regulus didn’t get the sense that Monty caught the last part of what Regulus had said to his son. “Hey, come on, I’m only joking. Thank you guys for everything, I really…I can’t put into words how much I appreciate your family and your kindness. Really. don’t know what I would have done without…this. This summer. And your welcoming arms.”
“Oh, Regulus, come here.” Effie pulled Regulus into a very tight hug, kissing the top of his head. Regulus hugged Monty after.
He turned to James, who he didn’t know if he should hug. James laughed and stretched out his hand, letting Regulus shake it. Regulus took it and awkwardly grimaced back towards him.
“Hey, you. Don’t think you’re getting away from me without a hug.” Sirius wraps Regulus in their arms very tightly, kissing him on the cheek. “Je t’aime. Et je suis très fier de toi, mon frère. Nous avons passé un bon été. I love you, and I’m proud of you, Regulus.”
“Merci. Je t’aime aussi.” Regulus and Sirius separate, and Regulus could see Sirius wipe their eyes, which had become slightly red and watery. He turned to give his brother a moment of privacy. “Remus. Peter. It’s been an incredible summer. I’ll see you at holidays?”
“See you then, mate. Hey, don’t let them give you a hard time over there. Just write to us, and Remus will come and beat up anyone who talks down to you.” Peter playfully jostled Remus’s shoulder, laughing.
“Oh, for sure, I’ll just give them a good whack with my cane.” Remus playfully tapped Regulus’s shoe with his cane. “Have a good semester. Give McGonagall and Pomfrey my love. Write to us!”
“Will do,” Regulus replied. He waved to everyone before stepping away and into the crowd where the train platform was. Before he gets into the corridor of the train, he turns around to wave to everyone once more, but was met with James standing alone in the crowded station. The others had disappeared.
Regulus stepped off the platform, squeezing his way back through the sea of people and straight into James’s arms, holding him very tight. And Regulus did not want to let go. He’d skip his last year of Hogwarts if it meant he could hold onto this moment forever and ever.
It was James, however, who pulled away from their hug.
And for once, James is completely and utterly speechless.
Lucky for him, Regulus had words enough for both of them.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this summer. For everything. For letting me stay at your house, and for being just so incredibly lovely, and for helping me when my Mum died, and for all the beach walks, and all the oranges we split, and all the tea we made, and for fixing the tea kettle and not judging me whenever I cried about it, and for just…just everything.” Regulus’s cheeks were pink. He could feel tears prickling in his eyes. “I seriously do not know what I would have done without you.”
“Regulus, I–”
“You brought me back to Sirius.” There was no stopping the tears flowing. Regulus Black was crying real tears in a public train station, and he didn’t care that there were thousands of people around him. “You gave me my brother back, James. You don’t understand. You gave me the best summer of my life.” Regulus wiped his face and then noticed James had a look of pure aghast on his. “What’s going on?”
James opened his mouth and closed it. Then he opened it again and spoke.
“Look, Regulus, I know this is the absolute worst of timing, but there’s no way that I could let you leave before we got a chance to – before I got the chance to tell you something that’s been on my mind for quite honestly a really long time now – well, I only kind of discovered it last week whenever Sirius and – Merlin’s balls, I am rambling so much. Holy shit.” James swallows and blinks several times. Regulus could see that he was breathing much quicker and harder. “And I also realize it’s so incredibly stupid of me to tell you this just after you thanked me for a place to stay this summer and for Sirius.”
“It won't be stupid. Just tell me.” Regulus laughed and sniffed, wiping his nose.
“I know that we’ve gotten really close recently, and we spent so much time together going to the beach and everything, and I want you to know I’m not just saying this because you’re staying at my house – Look, I really…I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to put it.”
Regulus’s eyes could have filled with tears again with what James was saying. It was true. James liked him as much as Regulus liked James. He wasn’t wrong or insane or delusional for wanting to be more than friends with his brother’s best friend. James liked him for all he was worth, broken tea sets and oranges and all.
“You’re overthinking this.” Regulus smiled at him. “I know.”
“You already knew?” James swallowed.
“James, Everyone knew.” Regulus laughed. “Everyone knew except for us.”
Now James was laughing too. “Shit! I’m sorry if I’m pressuring you or if it’s–”
“James, it’s fine. It’s okay. I promise.” Regulus took James’s hand and squeezed it in his three times.
“I’m sorry, I just…look, I couldn’t control, like, anything…I’m so sorry.” James took off his glasses to wipe them down with the hem of his shirt. They had fogged up when James had gotten himself all flustered. Regulus put his hands in his pockets.
“I feel the same way,” Regulus said. “About you.”
“Oh.” James put his glasses back on.
For a second, it’s silent. Neither of them had any idea what to do. James rocked back and forth on his feet until he cleared his throat.
“Uhm, wait a second, your tie is messed up. Can I fix it?” James stepped forward. “Got to have you looking sharp for your last Great Hall back-to-school dinner.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, thanks,” Regulus replied.
Regulus took his tie off and handed it to James. James wrapped the tie around Regulus’s neck, adjusting his shirt collar around it. He created a knot for the tie then tucked the smaller end of it into the hole before looping it back around and adjusting the tightness on Regulus’s neck. He then gently tugged at the tie, pulling Regulus into a kiss. The air felt hazy around the both of them as they kissed in the crowd of people at the train station, not caring if anyone was watching or pointing or talking about them. Regulus’s hands immediately went to James’s waist, pressing James closer to himself. The kiss turned into two kisses, then three, then four, then the two of them lost count of how many seconds had passed since James had initiated it.
The train whistle blew, and James pushed a very red-cheeked Regulus back towards the train.
“Write to me!” James called out to him, blowing him a kiss with both hands.
Regulus grinned ear to ear, waving at him before turning and stepping on the train.
He’d give anything to be back on that platform kissing James over and over.