neptune
So if you won't hold me
I have no objections
So if you won't please me
I make no commands
So if you don't trust me
It's best if I drown
(“Neptune” - Sufjan Stevens)
08:17. Saturday.
James —
Thank you for the clothes.
And thank you for letting me stay.
I don’t know how I’ll ever really be able to thank you and your family.
R.A.B.
Regulus placed the note on the handle of James’s doorway, making sure it would not slip. He had found a notepad and a quill in one of the drawers of the desk in his room.
His room.
It still felt extremely foreign to him. He still was partly in shock that he had actually run away. He’d gotten out of there, that bloody house and the messy situation he would have been involved in if he had stayed.
Regulus sat on the bed, wondering if the Potter house had a library he could borrow a book from when the door opened, revealing James.
“Hey. Can I come in?” James asked. Regulus nodded. James shut the door behind him, fidgeting with the note in his hands. Regulus swallowed, feeling his face grow warm. He didn’t need to be confronted about it. He just wanted it to go silently.
“Thank you. Uhm. For this,” James held up the note. “And, if you need anything else, like, clothes or shoes or, like, anything, just let us know, okay?”
Regulus nodded. He wanted to speak up and tell James that he didn’t need anything, he didn’t deserve anything, he didn’t deserve this kindness, but he couldn’t.
“Also, you don’t have to, but Sirius and I are meeting up with a couple friends to play Quidditch on the beach in around ten minutes if you want to come with us. I think we’ve got an extra broom somewhere. Or someone does.”
Regulus looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.
“And, uhm. I don’t know if it’s out of my place to say, but I think you should talk to Sirius. I don’t think you owe them any sort of apology or anything, but I really think you guys need to talk some things out. I promise you they’re not angry that you’re here, they’re just frustrated because…” James chose his next words very carefully. “They might just be frustrated because you kind of showed up out of nowhere.”
Regulus couldn’t look at him.
“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping anything. I mean, I’m not very good with this type of stuff. I have an older sister, but she moved out, like, years and years ago when I was younger, so I don’t really have a lot of sibling experience.”
They were silent for a second. James looked down at his shoes.
“Do you wanna come with us? I think Sirius is already down at the beach. You can walk with me if you’re ready. It’s not too far.” James was looking back at Regulus. Regulus nodded.
They were mostly silent on the way down towards the beach, carrying brooms. James was carrying a beach bag with towels, some sandwiches and bags of crisps for everyone, and bottles of sunscreen. James had found an extra broom for Regulus to borrow, one that James used to use before he had gotten a fancy upgrade. Regulus had wanted to tell James it was okay if he just watched, but he still could not figure out how to use his voice again. If he could use it. He wondered if he would ever speak again.
James was absentmindedly humming the tune to a Billy Joel song, kicking pebbles in the road. From where the two of them were walking, Regulus could see the ocean just below the horizon line, the sound of waves filling their ears. The hot sun was beating down on their skin. If Regulus didn’t put sunscreen on soon, he would quickly turn tomato-red and have an unpleasant sunburn ahead of him.
“There they are just up ahead. You know everyone, right?” James pointed ahead towards his friends. Marlene, Peter, Mary, and Sirius were all on brooms, tossing a quaffle up in the air to each other. They had already set up two hoops, one on each side of their ‘pitch’. Remus was sitting down on one of the blankets to the side, reading. He didn’t seem to mind that he was the only one left out.
“James!” Marlene shouted, riding their broom down. The rest followed, touching down to the ground. James and Regulus made their way over to the rest of them, standing near Remus on his beach blanket. Regulus could see Sirius avoiding his gaze. Instead, they were staring at the ground, as if they had found some seashell to inspect.
“We’ve got an extra player today. I assume you guys know Regulus?” James said.
He looked back towards Sirius. He knew he needed to talk to them, but he wasn’t sure when there would be an opportunity. He wasn’t sure if Sirius wanted to talk to him. And even if he could talk to Sirius, he didn’t know how he would explain what had happened. What had finally made Regulus snap and run.
“How are we dividing up?” Marlene asked. “We’ve got an odd number, unless Remus isn’t playing.”
“I mean, does it really matter if we have an uneven number?” Remus suggested.
“Wait, Moony, what about your hip?” Sirius asked. “Wouldn’t it make it hurt worse?”
“Well, it’s not as bad today. It kinda comes and goes.” Remus tapped his cane against the sand. Regulus figured it was enchanted to make it easier for Remus to walk through sand. It was already awkward enough to walk through sand alone. Regulus couldn’t imagine adding a bad hip and a cane on top of it.
“You didn’t bring a broom,” Marlene said.
“I might have something that could work.” Remus lifted his cane, took his wand out of his pocket, and mumbled a spell Regulus didn’t recognize.
The cane grew longer in length, and it began to grow bristles at the end of it. The handle was still slightly curved the way normal racing brooms were.
“What the fuck?” Mary whispered in awe. “I didn’t think you could do that.”
“I didn’t think I could either,” Remus glanced over the cane—now broom and turned it around in his hands. “I honestly did not expect that to work. I’m kind of shocked.”
“Does it work?” Sirius asked. “Like do you think it could fly?”
“Yeah, give it a try before we divide up into teams,” James said. "Your mum would never let us play again if you got hurt.”
“Okay.” Remus swung one leg over the broom, and kicked off the ground. For a second, nothing happened. Then slowly, the broom began to float upwards into the sky, gaining speed. Regulus knew Remus was smart, but to completely transform a wooden cane into a real, legit broom? That was another level of genius. Remus was around forty feet in the air. He began to descend and touched down with a giant grin on his face.
“How was it?” Marlene asked.
“Fucking brilliant,” He replied. “Who’s on my team?”
——
09:43. Saturday.
Peter, Marlene, Regulus, Remus - 110
James, Sirius, Mary - 110
They were tied.
Peter had scored two of the goals against the other team, while Marlene got one when she knocked a bludger into the Quaffle, and Remus somehow landed one in after he intercepted from Mary. Regulus was doing what he knew best—searching for the snitch. Staying out of everyone’s way.
He wasn’t the only one.
Sirius was the ‘seeker’ for the other team. Normally they played beater.
Regulus was high in the air, looking for that little glimmer of gold he knew would win him the match. He sped up. This is what Quidditch was all about. Not the goals, not the beating of bludgers, but the wind rushing through his hair, whipping against his face. The sort of high he gets whenever he spots the faintest hint of golden.
Regulus saw it, the subtle glitter in the air. There it was, straight ahead of him. He lurched forward, hoping the broom James had lended him would pick up more speed than this.
In the same moment, Sirius had also spotted it. They were just to his right, coping Regulus’s motions towards it, muttering to their broom to go faster, pleading for more power.
The two brothers got closer and closer until they were side by side, racing, challenging each other for who would win. It was brother against brother. This wouldn’t end well. One of them had to lose.
And there it was, right in front of the two of them, teasing them. Taunting them. Regulus reached a hand out. It was so close, he could practically touch the wings, fluttering right there! Right there! His fingers brushed the snitch.
Regulus wasn’t in the air anymore.
Neither was Sirius.
They were both on the ground with the wind knocked out of both their chests.
Regulus opened his eyes, seeing James and Peter standing above where the two of them laid, sprawled out across the sand. They were both out of breath, having sprinted to where the two of them had crashed.
“Oh my god. Are you guys okay?” Peter asked.
“Holy shit, Regulus, you’re bleeding!” James panted. Regulus touched his face, pulling his hand away and seeing red staining all over his fingers. Sure enough, he had earned himself a bloody nose.
James helped Regulus sit up, tentatively placing a hand on his back. Normally Regulus didn’t want the physical touch, but he was too out of his head to protest anything. And it did help him up. James summoned one of the towels from the tote bag and handed it to Regulus. Regulus held it to his nose.
“Fuck, mate, I think I broke my head,” Sirius was rubbing their temples. The rest had run over, concerned faces, setting down next to the two of them.
“You lot scared the shit out of us.” Marlene was breathless. “I think you two better sit out the rest of the match. Just cool down.”
Sirius looked over towards Regulus.
“Come on, let’s go.” Sirius stood up. Regulus made a move to stand when he saw Sirius’s outstretched hand. He looked up, squinting through the sunlight.
Sirius was helping him.
Regulus took the hand and stood up.