Emotions are a living hell
Regulus stared at the boy, it wasn't a cold, emotionless stare like James and everybody else was used. It was soft and loving. Regulus would die for this boy. For the boy laying in front of him, replaying every moment in his had. For the boy who was usually bright and happy but revealed that it was a disguise. Regulus knew that feeling all too well and only a few people had ever seen the façade slip away. Those were the people he trusted the most. The people he knew wouldn't push further and would sit there with him in silence. The people who knew better than to tell the whole school. The people that Regulus felt he, himself, didn't deserve
James was still trying to top his hand from reaching his mouth and his breaths were now shallow. He felt like a burden and a waste of time. He felt like he didn't deserve the attention that he was constantly given. He felt like he worthless and that he had to always make for it. He was always seen as the 'therapist friend' and felt the need to make sure that nobody ever saw him down. He felt like he had no reason to be this way. To have this many issues.
Regulus grabbed his other hand and placed it on top of the other. He then lifted James chin so that they made sort-of eye contact. It was enough so that James could see him but not to the point that it felt like they were staring into each other's souls. "You don't need to hide, ok? Then gin, if you feel like it's getting this bad gain try to find me on the map. I'll gladly stay by you."
James nodded, a small smile appeared on his face before it left his face, quicker than it had appeared. Another sob escaped him and buried his face back into the arm of the chair. He was much quieter than last time and Regulus didn't know whether or not it was a good sign. He just decided not to ask about it. Regulus was still next next to the armchair and ran a hand through the boy's messy brown hair. He wondered if this moment would ever happen again. Sat in semi-silence hands in his hair, comforting each other through their breaking points. It was serene, a moment of mutual understanding and peace.
Regulus watched as the boy shifted slightly every so often, his sobs had died to mere hiccups in his breath. Tears were still streaming down his face and each one looked more painful than the last. Regulus wished with every part of him that he could take on James's pain from him. He deserved it more than him. James had done nothing wrong and deserved the world and to enjoy his life. He was perfectly innocent, he didn't deserve this type of pain.
The Sun was always meant to be bright but even then there is a part always hidden away that was eventually discovered. The stars were similar in a way. You had to be quick before they break and change completely. Only a few people had witnessed them and those people were lucky enough to remember the tale. The Sun could blind with it's light and the stars could charm you with their beauty. It would take a fool to stare at the Sun until you went blind and it would take a fool to fall for the mesmerising charm of the stars. Yet James and Regulus sat close together, admiring each other in the Slytherin dorms.
James took a deep breath. "Why did it have to happen now? I was only supposed to return your book on Amortentia and now I'm in your dorm, having a melt down."
"We can't always control everything, can we James?" Regulus didn't mean for it to be a sarcastic remark but he ignored it, instead he brought down the hand that was originally in his hair a cupped James's cheek. "Nothing is meant to be planned. I'm always here to help just like you for others."
At those lines James breath caught and every breath he took sounded like it took everything out him. The panic in his eyes, contrasted his blank face. He brought his hands over to his ears as, sitting up straighter. His arms were resting on his knees. Occasional gasps came out every so often. His breathing was fast and almost sounded mechanical. It hurt to watch and Regulus was sure that that it was much worse for James. His heart ached for him. James didn't deserve this.
James wanted everything to stop. He wanted to scream but his voice had gone and his throat felt like it had shut so screamed in his mind. It got louder until he couldn't hear any other thoughts in head. Why was this happening? He had been fine just a few minutes ago. Everything felt too close for comfort and everything was too loud or too bright. He couldn't even stand the sound of his own breathing. His mind was clouded with images of all his friends laughing without him and all those times he helped them. He knew that they loved him but sometimes he wasn't sure. Was he just somebody to talk to? A therapist and only that. He was involved in everything, well most things, but something was still missing. He had a perfect life. He had a good family, he had good grades ,he has friends who care and he is one of the most popular people in the school as well as having multiple people fall for him so he had no reason to feel like this. Right?
Nothing made sense and it was going far too fast for him to understand anyways. Then again it was time for him to break, he had held up his mask for far too long. longer than normal. He couldn't handle being the Sunshine character for much longer. He felt as if everybody expected him to be happy all of the time and to stay that way. He needed to be the popular one that everybody loved or found too annoying. He had accepted that and it was now his main personality trait. Happy. Nothing else just.
Happy.