A loving touch
The moment seemed to feel like forever even though it only lasted a few minutes. Regulus was glad to have his brother back. Something was off though. James wouldn't back down that easily when it came to the brothers especially when Sirius was involved. He tried to shut the thoughts down and to focus on the touch of his brother. They were in silent agreement that neither would talk until Sirius tapped him on the back. He could hear a voice muttering to itself outside. Was James really waiting this long to see them both? He was dedicated. I mean it was James he dedicated to following instructions especially if it concerns Sirius and his brother. There was no way he would interfere with those two. He always knew when to leave them alone.
"Regulus are you ok?"
Regulus snapped out of his thoughts at the sudden sound of his brother's voice. "Yes. Yes. Just spaced out I guess." He muttered not willing to share what was on his mind. Why should he? He had no good reason to. He looked down at the floor not wanting to make eye contact with him.
" Regulus. " He forgot he couldn't hide from his brother. They knew each other far too well for that. He had to look at his brother's face. He had to. He couldn't stop himself. "Yes Siri?"
"Tell me"
"It's just.... Why did he give up so easily? He didn't even argue with you! And you know James once he decides what he wants he won't give up!"
" I have my ways you know. I know exactly how to get him to shut up."
"I wonder what your little charm could be." Regulus smiled watching as Sirius rolled his eyes. How he missed the conversations between them when they were younger, hiding in Sirius's bedroom playing muggle music in background as they talked about their family gatherings and little secrets. He was sure that Sirius missed those moments too.
"Well are you going to let him in he has been waiting quite a while now " Sirius smiled at his brother.
"No. He can wait a bit longer I just want us to be alone like when we your younger. Let us live like this a bit more ok?"
Sirius did care. He did miss those times when they were small, giggling between themselves like there were no problems around them. Regulus agreed with Sirius they should enjoy being alone just a bit longer. Without distractions or important business to attend to. He wished he could do this more often. Just him and Sirius talking and gossiping about their life at Hogwarts and houses. Houses. Not house. Not a single shared roof. Houses. Why did he have to remind himself? Why couldn't he allow himself to enjoy this? What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just spend some time with people he loved without being reminded of his situation? He was the one left behind. That was his fault. Everything that happened was his fault. But he did it to save his brother. That surely made it better right? He sacrificed everything, he followed his brother, he did it to save Sirius. But he still chose to stay. That made Sirius hate him. Or at least he thought. He couldn't enjoy anything without it being ripped away from him. His brother. His mother's love. His freedom. His father's attention. His will to continue his 'perfect' life. It was all too much to handle at the moment. His love with everyone he put his trust into. His family was such a mess it was impossible to say anything but 'yes' or 'no'. He couldn't do anything at the house without it being called a waste of time and skill.
"Earth to Reggie!" His brother's voice snapping him out of his mind again. Sirius had a worried expression on his face. He cared about him. He really did. He made the right decision of trusting him then. But Sirius shouldn't trust him. He will only disappoint him.
"Thanks."
" Don't worry but are you sure your ok? You just seemed really out of it. Even when I snapped you out."
"I find I promise Siri."
" I don't believe you... I know what your thinking Reg you can't hide it from me anymore. "
"I.. I don't know where to start. Mother, Father that house, that night, those memories, those spells. There are so many things I could say but-" Regulus couldn't speak, his voice had completely closed down, replaced with sobs and shaky breaths. It felt as if everything had closed in on him. Like he was stuck in that awful cupboard all over again. His mind was swimming with small images of the house after a typical family dinner. He could still hear his mother's angry stomping in the distance muttering to herself. Regulus was sat on the stairs watching Kreature mop the stains off the floor. His ears were still ringing. The screaming was too much for him. He suddenly felt a hand start to play with his hair. Sirius. Sirius brought him back to reality.
"It's ok Reg. I can wait." Regulus moved closer to him and hugged him hands holding onto Sirius' shirt. "You will be ok. In. Good. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Hold. Out. 1,2,3,4,5. Ok. In. 1,2,3,4,5. Hold. Out. 1,2,3,4,5. In. 1,2,3,4,5. Hold. Out. 1,2,3,4,5. You're doing great just follow me ok? " Sirius told him, stroking Regulus's hair, the curls immediately bouncing back up to their original position. "You know you can talk to me." Regulus slowly moved his hands away from Sirius' shirt. He hasn't completely got his voice back so he nodded stiffly and sat up. "It's going to be ok, just trust me. Please?" Sirius asked looking at his brother with a soft smile. A smile that made his brother smile slightly as well. He wished that these moments could last forever. That they would always be with him. That he would never forget these moments. These moments were far too precious for him to loose.
A knock came from the door again. James really was relentless.