Chapter 5
Severus stopped himself from snapping the way he normally would have at the boy’s interruption and listened. It was his turn to be confused. “You-” he started, and then stopped for a second to think before restarting. “You are saying that while you were recovering here you dreamed of how I saved you from your relatives, and that encouraged you to trust me once you woke up?” Severus knew this wasn’t at all what the boy was implying, but he needed to be sure. True seers were rare, and, typically, the gift was passed through families. It wasn’t unheard of for the gift to show up randomly down a long line of pureblood ancestry, but it was uncommon. He needed to be sure.
The boy shook his head. “No, that would still be pretty dumb. No. I mean- the ‘dream’. The one I had before the letter came. I dreamed of this place, and of some people I’m going to meet soon, and of some other stuff, and of you. I didn’t remember your name, though. I just dreamed what you looked like, and that you were safe. And I knew that you would always save me because that’s what your job is. Not your job. I mean. Like. Your purpose, or something? It sounds offensive when I say it like that, but I don’t have any other way to describe it. Sorry. Anyway. I dreamed about you, and I knew you were the person from the dream when you answered my letter. I didn’t remember your name at first, only what you looked like, but as soon as I read your name on the letter, it came back to me, and I remembered you more clearly. It was definitely you in the dream. The more I look at you, the more I’m sure of it. It was very vivid. I dreamed you saved me loads of times. I can even remember you teaching me some things if I try hard enough. I think you were having me cook something, but I’m pretty sure I was bad at it, because it smelled awful. And I think you were annoyed at me for doing it wrong…” he trailed off, seemingly remembering that Severus was actually present rather than a piece of his recollection.
That sounded quite unlike any divination of which Severus had ever heard, but he had no other explanation than that. Curious, he leaned forward on his chair and studied the boy. When the child’s eyes finally seemed to focus on the end of his nose, Severus remembered he had removed the boy’s spectacles and stored them in his pocket for safe keeping after repairing them in an effort to keep the child from bending the frames in his sleep. He handed them absently over to the boy and distantly noted that he would need to be fitted with a new prescription soon if the way he was still squinting once he donned them was any indication. “So, you say that upon reading my name, you realized I was the man from your dream and that the longer I am in your presence the more firmly you recognize me? Has there been anything else that has worked like this?”
The child nodded. “Yes. When the ‘dream’ first happened I remembered everything. But then as I woke more fully, I forgot a ton of stuff. I remembered you though. Not specifically anything you said or did but like… I guess I remember your motivations, or something? Keep me alive and not let Voldemort win.” Severus felt himself flinch involuntarily. There was no explanation for the boy knowing the Dark Lord’s name. He had to be either telling the truth, or someone had fed him information. That he also seemed to know something of the vow was an indication that the truth was more likely.
“Obviously,” the boy continued, “I also remember the name Voldemort, but I’m really not sure much about him, except that he’s evil, and I’m supposed to stop him. And… he hasn’t got a nose?”
What? Severus thought. He took a moment to blink his surprise away but refrained from commenting.
The boy didn’t notice and continued speaking. “It was disturbing. Anyway, I also remembered the school. Which is a castle, I think. I remember feeling warm, but like, on the inside. Like, I knew I was loved. And that I had friends? Which was confusing, because I don’t think I should have been able to recognize what that feels like. And then, I remember a voice telling me that even though it was happening inside my head, that didn’t mean it wasn’t real. And I trusted the voice, so I trusted the ‘dream’.” Harry paused. Severus had no trouble discerning from whom that comment was likely to have come.
“And then the letter came later that day.” He began picking up speed as he spoke, as children often do. “That was the first time something became familiar the way you did. I looked at the letter, and I suddenly knew that if I didn’t hide it, the Dursley’s would take it away. It was like someone else told me that. Not like I was afraid it would happen. But not really like it came from someone else. Like it came from another me. But I didn’t hear them, I just knew it. Because they knew it? And when I read the letter, I knew it was real and the school existed. And I could remember some of the hallways and classrooms. And then when wrote back before you came, I realized you were the man from the dream, and that you would take me to safety. Even so, I was terrified that morning when I was thinking about how to keep you from talking to Uncle Vernon because I knew it would make him upset. When I saw you, that didn’t matter anymore, and I knew I had to go with you. And then, when I woke up here, when Mipsy said my name… I remembered what a house-elf was. I had a house-elf friend in the ‘dream’. His name was Dobby, and he was free.” Harry stared off into the distance for a second and then looked back at Severus. His eyes were much too haunted for a not yet 11-year-old boy. “Dobby was free. For some reason that makes me sad and happy at the same time. And I don’t know why. Maybe something happened to him?”
Severus shuddered. The way the child spoke of his vision was the most disturbing part. It was as if he felt that these things he had seen had already come to pass. He would need to discuss it with Albus to find out whether there was any record of seers who could not properly discern what was reality and what was a vision that had not yet come to pass. After a moment of contemplation, Severus turned his attention back on the child. “Before this… ‘dream’… do you remember any other instances where something abnormal such as this happened to you?”
The boy screwed his face up in deep thought. And then shook his head. He paused mid shake, eyes lighting up in remembrance. “I- well. They were just odd… isolated incidents. I didn’t mean them. But now that I think about it. Before the ‘dream’, I wouldn’t have even considered that maybe it was me, but now, I’m pretty sure it was. When I was little… odd things tended to happen when I was worried, or scarred, or, like, angry.” Severus nodded for the boy to continue, knowing he was likely only referencing typical accidental magic now.
“Once,” the boy confided with a small smile, “Aunt Petunia wanted me to wear this really horrible scratchy sweater, and I just knew my cousin Dudley and his gang at school would make fun of me. And really it wasn’t even very cold out that morning and it was class picture day, besides. So, I tried to say no. And she kept trying to shove it over my head and make me, but the sweater just kept getting smaller and smaller the harder she shoved, like it would have if she had washed it wrong. Eventually it was too tiny to fit on a doll, so she just gave up. And this other time a teacher made fun of my homework in front of the class, but it was really Dudley’s because he had made me switch with him, and I started crying and then the teacher’s wig turned blue. I swear I didn’t mean it though.” His eyes widened as he remembered he was talking to a teacher currently and he rushed to change the subject. “And once I was running away from Dudley and his gang and I tried to jump behind some trash bins behind the school and I thought maybe the wind picked me up mid jump or something, because suddenly I was on top of the school building. And then. Last month. Well. It was Dudley’s birthday, and Miss Figg broke her leg tripping over one of her cats and Aunt Marge was out of town, which meant there was no one to watch me, so, the Dursley’s decided to take me to the Zoo with them. In case I tried to blow up the house while they were gone- Not that I would ever do that. They were just worried that I would. So, they took me to the Zoo with them, and while we were in the Reptile exhibit, Dudley and his friend were really rude to all the reptiles and then they pushed me over and I got surprised and made the exhibit glass disappear on the python cage, and the snake got out. But, like, the snake didn’t even bite anyone. He was just pleased to be loose. He said he was going to Brazil, so I don’t even think he planned to hurt anyone in London.”
Severus noted distantly that the boy was now looking as earnest as possible in hopes to convince Severus that he had had no ill intent with the python, but Severus was too distracted by his own horror to reassure him. “What, exactly do you mean when you say, he said he was going to Brazil, Mr. Potter?” He knew his voice was too sharp when he asked, but he couldn’t control his own urgency.
Scared as the child looked at Severus’s emotional display, he didn’t shy away from answering the direct question. “I mean, he told me, “Brazzzil, here I come. Thanksss.” and then he slithered away while everyone else screamed.” He waited for a moment for Severus to say something else, but then when it became obvious that Severus wasn’t going to the boy carried on trying to explain. “I mean. When it first happened I figured either I was crazy, or the snake was just really special or something, but then when I had the ‘dream’ and got the letter I just figured maybe it was like the magic and the ‘dream’. Maybe all wizards and witches have ‘dreams’ about the future and can talk to animals. And maybe there really are flying motorbikes and stuff, and I just never knew because the Dursley’s are muggles…” Harry trailed off and studied his fingernails, failing dismally at not looking nervous.
After a moment of silent floundering on how he should best explain things, Severus gently (Gently to the best of his ability. Severus was under no illusions as to whether or not children typically found him comforting.) corrected the boy. “No, Mr. Potter. The ‘dream’ you experienced is an indication that you likely have the gift of divination, and the ability to understand and communicate effectively with snakes means that you are a Parselmouth. I’m afraid both of those particular gifts are somewhat irregular, even amongst the magical community.” The boy’s face fell.
“Oh.” He said, sadly. “So, even here, with the magic people I’m still a freak.” He nodded to himself, as if this made perfect sense and he was ridiculous to have thought otherwise. It was obvious he was used to someone using that term to describe him. Severus hoped it had only been his cousin, but admitted to himself that it was much more likely that all of his relatives had used it.
Severus closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself against the wave of compassion he felt for the boy. “No. No, Mr. Potter. You are not a freak.” He said sternly. “Not here or elsewhere. Every person is unique and different no matter which world they live in, or which school they attend, and contrary to what your relatives may have told you, that is usually a good thing. All that either of your gifts indicate at the moment is that you will be talented in more or different areas than some of your peers. It will also mean that you will receive extra training to better discern your dreams if they continue to show you such confusing glimpses into your possible future. Either, both, or even neither gift may affect you later in life, and all of those will be fine options. All of that being said, your business is your business, and anything that you’re uncomfortable sharing with any future classmates is up to you. What you can do in either area is between you and whomever you decide with which to share it.”
Severus stomped on the impulse he had to insist that the boy tell no one of his Parseltongue ability. He could caution the boy later, when the child was feeling less tender in regard to his perceived flaws. A low self-esteem was unavoidable after growing up in an abusive home; Severus would do well not to add to it during the short time they would cohabit together.
Merlin, but he hoped the headmaster would return soon.