Chapter 1
Sirius wasn’t sure what he’d just walked into. But he felt like it was better for his well-being to just pretend that he hadn’t noticed.
Ten minutes ago his brother had come knocking on the common room portrait, asking if Sirius still had his herbology textbook from sixth year, because he had lost his.
Sirius hadn’t been sure but told him to follow up to their dorm, to see if it had been left in their dorm bookshelf. Sirius’ hadn’t been there, but Remus’ was. He was sure that his boyfriend was willing to lend it to Regulus, but Sirius was still forced by his brother to go ask.
He’d left his brother in their dorm with the instruction to be still, be quiet and don’t touch anything. “James has a migraine.”
He’d only been gone for a few minutes, maybe five, but when he entered the dorm his brother was sitting on James’ bed. They were talking in quiet voices and- Sirius was sure his eyes were tricked by the light, or something, but it looked like they were holding hands.
Sirius had cleared his throat to get their attention, Regulus had moved his head lazily to look at him while James had flown out of bed, claiming he had to shower.
“What did you do?” he demanded to know. Regulus only rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t do anything,” he sighed, “He woke up when you closed the door and we started talking. Nothing else.”
“He’s my best friend.”
His brother looked confused, “I know?”
“What were you talking about?” Sirius couldn’t shake the feeling of irritation.
“Nothing important,” Regulus shrugged, “I asked him how he was feeling, he answered, he asked what I was doing here, I answered. It was quite a boring conversation.”
“Why were you sitting on his bed?”
“What’s with the interrogation?” he frowned, “He told me to sit down. Wouldn't it have been strange if I'd ignored him and continued standing in the middle of the room?”
The irritation faded into confusion, and eventually defeat. He lifted his hand to throw the book to his brother, “Remus said you could have it.”
“Oh, he’ll have it back when I find mine,” Regulus said, flipping through the pages of the book.
“No, he said you could keep it,” Sirius shook his head, “He has no need for it anymore.”
“Oh,” his brows rose, “That’s kind of him.”
Sirius huffed, “Yes, he is nice.”
Regulus smirked, “Yeah, he is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just, that he’s nice.”
“But you said it in a way!”
“What way?”
“Just- In a way! Suspiciously!”
“I said it in a suspicious way?”
“Yes!”
“Okay.”
“Do you fancy him?”
“Lupin?”
“Yes.”
“No. Sirius. I don’t fancy you boyfriend.”
“Good-”
“I do find him attractive though.”
Sirius gasped, “You aren’t allowed to!”
Regulus snorted, “Tell him ‘thank you’ from me, will you?”
“Yes. Because you are never allowed near him again!”
Regulus smiled, “Sure, Sirius. Whatever you say.”
“Mhmm,” Sirius crossed his arms, “I do say.”
“Bye,” he huffed a laugh, “Goodbye, James.”
Sirius quickly turned around and saw his best friend wearing nothing but a towel and a stupid smile, he hadn’t even noticed he’d exited the bathroom.
“Bye, Regulus.”
“Why are you smiling?” Sirius demanded.
James shrugged, “It’s just funny when he pisses you off.”
"That was a very quick shower," he stated.
The boy shrugged once again, "Took a cold shower to wake up."
Sirius frowned suspiciously, “What were you two talking about? When I was gone.”
His friend dragged his fingers through his wet hair and answered, “Just- quidditch.”
The elder's frown deepened, “Why are you lying?”
James’ eyes widened, but kept his mouth shut. When Sirius realised he wasn’t getting an answer he repeated the question.
“Why. Are. You. Lyin-”
“I’m in love with him!”
Both of the boys froze. It seemed like time had stopped, every sound had disappeared and it was just the two of them left in the universe.
“Excuse me?”
James sighed, “I’m in love with him.”
“Him?”
The boy only wearing a towel looked almost afraid, “Yes.”
He shook his head, “Who?”
“Regulus.”
“What about him?”
The fear turned into confusion, “I’m in love with him.”
“Who?”
Irritation, “Regulus.”
“Which Regulus?”
“Regulus Black? Your brother.”
“My brother?”
“Yes.”
“Say it again.”
A pause, “What?”
“Say it again!”
“I’m in love with him.”
“With who?!”
“With Regulus!”
“My brother!?”
“Yes! I’m in love with your brother!”
“MY BROTHER?!”
“YES!”
“MY BROTHER!”
The two boys were now grabbing each other's arms, screaming at each other. Neither of them noticing the door opening.
“MY BROTHER! NO!”
“YES!”
“What is going on?”
It was the tallest boy asking. The other turned to look at their two other best friends. Answering their friends at the same, both screaming.
“HE’S IN LOVE WITH-”
“I’M IN LOVE WITH-”
“MY BROTHER!”
“HIS BROTHER!”
“Huh?”
“He’s in love with my brother.”
“I’m in love with Regulus Black.”
Both boys seemed to be having their separate revelations. But while the younger of the two stayed afraid, the older seemed to be realising something.
“I’m in love with Regulus.”
“James.”
“I’m in love with Regulus.”
“James.”
“I’m in love with Regulus.”
“James!”
Sirius grabbed his friend's wrists, pulling him back to reality, “You’re in love with him?”
James looked up from where he’d been staring into space, his eyes filled with fear and mouth hanging half open with a mere whisper escaping, “Yes.”
“Did you just realise this?”
James gulped, still whispering, “I don’t know.”
“Explain!” Sirius demanded, shaking his friend's wrists.
“I- I don’t know!” James pulled his hands free from the death grip and started walking, to his closet, to his bed, he sat down and then stood up. “I don’t know!” He grabbed the sweater laying at the foot of his bed and put it on, he continued to his dresser and pulled out pieces of clothing and threw them on. “I don’t know.”
“James.”
“I don’t know!” the boy pulled at his hair, looking confused, and sad, and frightened, “I- I-” he shook his head and took a breath, “I knew I fancied him, I’ve… liked him for- for a while. But- I don’t know.”
One shorter of the two boys who were frozen at the door of their dorm spoke up, “So… you don’t love him?”
James' head turned so quickly he felt something crack, “Ow! OwOwOw.”
The tallest boy hurried forward and put a hand on his friend's neck, “Shit, are you okay?”
The pained boy let out a soft sob, “I don’t know.”
“You need to tell him.”
The three boys looked toward their friend with surprise. That was the last thing any of them thought he would say. Sirius looked at their shocked faces and shrugged, “He deserves to know.”
“I can’t tell him!” James hissed, slowly massaging his own neck.
“Yes, you can!” Sirius hurried forward and put one of his knees on James’ bed, looking at his friend with determination, “James. You love him! That’s- that’s… so good.”
Time froze. None of the boys in the room made a move to speak. It was so quiet they could hear the birds singing outside, and the students talking all the way down in the common room, Remus was sure he could hear Marlene whining about Dorcas.
“What?”
Sirius sat down fully and took James’ hand in his, “James, you love him. That’s incredible! I- don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s sort of weird. But- I don’t think you understand how big of a deal it is. He- I can’t tell you how he feels. And I won’t tell you the stuff he’s told me. But you really need to tell him.”
James shook his head, “I can’t-”
“You can. You will. Because you both deserve to be happy-”
“You can’t be certain that he feels the same way,” James frowned, “I’ll be the opposite of happy if he rejects me.”
“But he won’t. He’s my brother, James. I know how he feels. He might not love you yet, but he likes you. A lot. And I promise you, he’s falling. So fast.”
“But- but wouldn’t you think that it’s weird? Just- hypothetically, if he’s feeling the same way and we get together. You wouldn’t like that.”
“I don’t know what I’ll feel. But, we grew up in a house with no love. We were quite literally taught that no one would ever love us. But look at me now!” Sirius laughed, but quickly became serious again, “James, you both deserve so much. You could be so happy together! I want Regulus to get the same chance I got, I want him to know… love. And to have you, out of all people, fall in love with him, that’s- I don’t know how to explain it. You’re one of the best people I know. There’s quite literally no one else I would trust more to take good care of him.”
“But-”
Sirius shook his head, “No, there’s no ‘but’. Regulus is just as fucked up as I am, if not more. But he- he’s got a good heart, and he really is just a big softie. When he cares for someone, he really cares. You deserve someone who’ll take care of you the way you take care of others. Please, please tell him. In some weird way you… you two are like a perfect match.”
The two friends stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Eventually, the boy nodded, “Okay. I’ll tell him. But you’ll have to take care of me if he breaks my heart.”