Chapter 3
The sky was dull and cloudy. The brezze of Fall twirled Sirius hair around. His eyes were closed and he enjoyed the silence. Something he didn't have in his so called home.
James watched his best friend from his window. Sirius was sitting outside, finally taking a break from the horrors at the Black manor. James was glad that Sirius trusted him enough to come to him for help. He hated the black's. Like around 98% of them.
He had informed Remus about the incedent via owl post. It wasnt shocking that Remus had expected this outcome. Somehow the boy always predicted their future. Mostly he just guesses, based on the situations and their worst outcomes.
Remus would lie if he said that his heart didnt crack a little when he heard it. Sirius meant more to him than he admitted to himself. They've been inseperable, like James, Peter and Marlene, who had been friends since childhood.
Peter leaned over to Remus "Is that from James? What's he writing about?" Remus swallowed "Sirius." Peter's face fell slighly "Is he okay?" Remus shrugged with his shoulders "He's with James now, so I believe he is. He's finally out of that house."Peter nodded.
He and Remus had stayed at Hogwarts over the new Holiday that was arranged. Fall Weeks, is what they had called it. Not fall holiday or anything related to that, no. Just a plain explanation of what it was. Practical but utterly boring.
It was a 2 week break, that would end in 4 days. Sirius and James would finally return. Remus longed for their presence, more for Sirius presence but we all know he would never admit that to himself.
If Remus knew, Sirus felt the same, he would probably pass out from shock.In his eyes, Sirius was the perfect human being. Perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect at everything. In and out. He was sure that someone as perfects as Sirius, would never love someone as weird and gruesome as him. When he looked in the mirror, all he saw was a monster.
A monster that had hurt his friends.A monster that wasn't worth of the love he was receiving, nor the friends or even life.
He was glad they would be back soon,because that monster was slowly coming to the surface again. It was close to full moon.
Remus felt uneasy with the upcoming fullmoon. Something in his head told him that it would be a painful one. He couldn't explain why, he just knew.
While he was waiting for the remaining days to pass, he tried to drown his pain in books and studying. It was his way of coping, of getting trough the day. Sirius never studied with him. He either just watched Remus or he studied with Lily and the rest of the girls.
At the potters, James was now seated next to his best friend. They sat in silence while listening to their surroundings. James looked at Sirius, who was still looking into the distance.
"I really thought I could make them happy. At least some day." Sirius voice was hushed. James leaned closer to him "They cannot be pleased, Pads.You should be able to chose your life. Not have people tell you what you need to do."
Sirius just nodded.He was feeling empty "I wonder what Reggie is doing right now. I hope they didn't take it out on him"
James had been there the whole time. The moment Sirius had told him about his family situation one night in 2nd year, when Sirius had climbed into his bed after a nightmare,
James swore to get Sirius outta there. Sooner or later.
They were always close, and James was Sirius safe space. They'd told each other everyone. Almost everything...
"What am I even saying. He is their precious baby. They'd never hurt him." James raised an eyebrow "You really think that?"
"It's always me who gets blamed, Prongs. Why would they hurt him too. It's always been my fault"
James shook his head "Pads, You're safe now. I'll make sure no one ever harms you again, okay?" His arms went around Sirius, who tried to fight back but James just pulled him closer.
Sirius closed his eyes and finally accepted the physical contact. His breath started to slow down and the tension fled his body.
It wasn't the same as Remus hugs. Those were the best hugs anyone can ever get. He already looks comfortable, and he also feels comfortable. And he's so pretty-
Sirius sits up. His eyes burn, and his hands start to shake. He's always been afraid of this. Of those feelings.
He's always been told that he's gonna marry some pretty pureblood girl. Most likely Narcissa (Spoiler alert:That probably won't happen, now that he ran away)
Him and James were close, sadly, Sirius still felt uneasy to tell his best friend that he was in love with their little wolf friend.
He had always waited for the perfect moment to come out. To finally let James know, but he always missed the opportunity.
Anyone on the outside would say that it's ridiculous. That the oh so loud and confident Sirius Black could never be afraid of his own feelings.
Surprise, Surprise. He definitely is. Sirius wiped his hand over his face and looks at James. He was looking back at Sirius.
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. James tilted his head at Sirius second attempt to talk. Sirius groaned in frustration.
"Relax pads. What is it, that you wanna tell me?" James laid a hand on his shoulder "I can't tell you. I want to tell you, but I don't know what's stopping me!" He exclaimed angrily.
James raised an eyebrow "Deep br-" Sirius hushed him "Please James. Don't start with that now. I'm trying to tell you something, okay?" James only nodded, hoping it wasn't anything bad.
There wasn't anything worse than the house he grew up in. Nothing could be that bad. James didn't know what to say. He just needed to be sure that Sirius was alright.
He always made sure that Sirius was okay. Something he needed to do for himself quite miore often. He was always worrying about everyone , except himself.
Hundreds of thoughts were spinning in his mind. How could he make Sirius more comfortable?
How could Sirius be sure that he wouldn't Judge him?
There woulnd't be a momen in his life where he could hate Sirius. Never ever in his life. James felt like the word hate was to strong to use. Some people just threw it aroun like it meant nothing.
He only ever used it for Sirius parents. Nobody in their right mind would like those people.
James was at loss for words even tho there was so much he wanted to say.
That didn't happen often.Especially not with Sirius. Somehow, the brunette always knew what to say to his best friend. Like it was a reflex.Just not now.
"Maybe you're just not ready to tell me yet?"
Sirius rolled his eyes "But I wanna tell you! You're my best friend. But I'm afraid"
James blinked a few times. He had never head Sirius say that word for himself. Never in his life had he thought that Sirius would be afraid of something.It is probably something big if Sirius was afraid. Something life changing.
Okay maybe of Lily sometimes. She's absolutely lovely but can get pretty scary if you say something dumb. Not that she'd ever say you're dumb,No.
But you'll know when she thinks it. She mostly tries to hide it so you won't feel bad, but that doesn't work all the time. James had to think back at when he couldn't get the Leviosa spell right, and she corrected him.
"its leviOsa not leviosA" God did it annoy him, but she also got him interested in her then. Lily was the type of person, he didn't knew he needed in his life.She was a strong headed woman. Something that would probably be great for James, If there wasn't-
"I like Remus"
"I like Remus too" James raised an eyebrow.
Sirius shook his head "No I like Remus"
James needed a few moments before-
Oh.
OH!