Nail Polish

“... So, I had to break up with him. I absolutely cannot be with a guy who gets so defensive because he got slapped on the ass.”

Dee nodded along to Lif’s story, only half listening. The pair of them were sitting in Lif’s room, something that used to send Dee into something that felt close to a heart attack. However, now that he’s been here a few times, the novelty of being in his crush’s room has semi worn off. As of now, Dee sat cross legged on her bed, and Lif was brushing her hair for the party.

“I’m an ass-grabber. I’m gonna grab ass while I kiss. And he just got, like, so fucking defensive about it. Like, I kid you not, he went on for an hour about how since he was the ‘top’ in the relationship, that means I couldn’t grab his ass. Which, by the way, no the fuck he wasn’t.”

It’s been a few days since Dee’s first been confronted with the possibility he might not be all ‘he’. Since then, he’s done a quite bit of experimenting. It’s become a routine now that he’d wake up early and experiment a bit. Or mainly he did the same hair fluffing and chest puffing. Sometimes he’d get a fluffy feeling and other times… Other times it felt wrong.

At one point, he tried sneaking into his parents' room to look for a dress.

“Honestly, I was never too peeved about it. And it’s not like him not liking getting his butt touched was a turn off, yanno? It’s fun, but boundaries and shit. It’s the way he did it. Anyway, I heard a rumor that he’s since moved from my old town and nearly got arrested for letting out farm animals. No idea if it’s real or not.”

Dee didn’t find a dress. He was caught by his dad though. He gave him a half truth about looking for something, and he knew his dad didn’t buy it. He was left off the hook and he was able to substitute the dress for an oversized shirt with a belt that only lasted for a few minutes after he realized he looked ugly.

Although his dad had been keeping a much closer eye on him.

“Anyway, none of that matters. Do you wanna help me pick an outfit for the party?”

That wasn’t something Dee appreciated. Not at all. His dad was suspicious of him, and like usual, it was a good reason. He was sneaking in their room. But he’s already decided that telling anyone in his family would have been worse than a death sentence.

“Oh cool, mind if I start now?”

Still, it was going to be difficult to shake his dad’s suspicion away. It normally was- Typically he couldn’t shake him off until he was caught, or he got rid of the problem and went back to acting normally. 

Getting caught was a big, fat no.

But how was he supposed to go back to acting normally? How was he supposed to go back to how he was before, unaware that he could be anything but a boy? 

“The party is gonna start at six so we should get an hour in before- Dee?”

How could he go back to being unaware?

“Dee!”

A pair of fingers snapped in front of his face, snapping him back to attention. “Wha-”

“Did you hear what I just said?” Lif stared at him, her body crouched over to look at him and he felt like a toddler.

Suddenly flustered, Dee shook his head. When Lif sighed, it felt like he had chugged a bottle of boiling water. But then she smiled, and he tried not to hate himself too much.

“I asked if you’d be willing to help me pick an outfit for the party.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” Dee started. But then he furrowed his brows. “But aren’t you already dressed?”

“Yeah, I’m dressed. But I’m not dressed up! As it stands, you and your brother are my only friends, and we don’t even go to the same school! Plus, everyone at my school is, like, total a dick,” She threw her hands up as if just thinking about her dickish classmates riled her up. Dee did his best to refrain from saying ‘I know’.

“Anyway, this party is a chance not only for me to make friends, but for you too!”

“What about Heavy?”

“Heavy wouldn’t like this party.”

Dee slightly puckered his lips, his head tilting to the side. He found that to be… an odd assumption. Heavy didn’t care where people took him, he’d just be happy to go.

But he supposed Lif didn’t know Heavy that well. Nor was he going to complain about the one-on-one time.

The next hour consisted of Lif changing into various outfits and Dee rating every single outfit. He was originally rating them all ten out of tens, but after Lif caught on, he was forced to give more diverse answers. Eventually, Dee would just say random numbers after a while since regardless of if he had a positive opinion or not, Lif was going to change.

When six rolled around, Lif still seemed very undecided about her outfit. Personally, Dee quite liked it. It was simple. An oversized maroon sweater that sloped off her shoulder just enough to show off a single black bra strap. Paired with two stockings, one that ended at her knee and the other that ended at her thigh and two thick combat boots. Dee personally loved it, but Lif could wear a flour sack and look good.

Regardless of what Dee personally thought though, Lif looked very divided still. She constantly tugged at her sweater, moving the visible strap from one side to another, tugging her longer stocking to match the length of the other then changing her mind, she even fiddled with her shoes, untying them and letting the laces hang loose and retying them into cute bows.

Even Heavy would be able to guess that she was unhappy with how she looked. Dee tried his best.

“I think it looks good.”

“You thought every outfit looked good,” Lif sighed, collapsing on her bed.

“Yeah but… You thought every outfit wasn’t good enough.” He uncrossed his legs and moved to seat himself next to her.

She groaned in response.

“What I’m saying is that maybe you should have confidence in your outfit. I’m sure once you add a few accessories, you’ll feel happy with it.” He smiled and put a hand on her covered shoulder.

In return she smiled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks Dee.”

And right Dee was. After Lif added a few accessories- A different pair of earrings, a choker, a belt to name a few- she seemed much happier in her outfit. Once Lif was smiling, Dee was smiling as well. Now all they had to do was wait for their ride to show up and they’d be off to the party.

Only… Their ride didn’t come. Not for thirty minutes. Lif paced in the room, back and forth in her room and Dee took to looking out the window quietly wishing every car that drove by would pull up in front of the house.

Finally, when the clock struck an odd time of six thirty-two, Lif groaned in frustration.

“Where in fucksake is she?” She pulled out her phone and texted who Dee assumed to have been the driver for them.

He watched silently as Lif texted a few messages to their driver before she finally sighed.

“Elizabeth said she’s gonna be at least another thirty. Apparently, she got stuck in the road thanks to some cows escaping and blocking off roads.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does…” She slowed down before a smile grew on her face. “But it does work out. Now I’ll be able to try on more outfits.”

“Lif-” Dee started.

“Come on Dee. Our ride is late. What else can we do?”

“Wait.”

Lif pouted a small bit, her bottom lip sticking out ever so slightly. Her red eyes seemed to shine and sparkle as she stared at Dee, and it tightened a knot growing in his stomach.

He darted his eyes away and Lif quickly side stepped to look up at him. Finally, he groaned.

“Yeah, yeah okay. Do whatever you want. Just be quick, we barely have any time left.”

Lif squealed, quickly running to her closet and pulling out a variety of clothes. Skirts, shirts, pants, shorts- Anything an absolutely everything. Dee wasn’t even sure how she was able to fit all of those in the same closet.

(Briefly he wondered how he’d have to arrange the closet if they ever got married.)

“I don’t think you’ll be able to wear all of those in time.” Dee approached the pile, picking a few pieces out from it. With the heap on the bed, he was no longer able to sit back down.

“I believe in myself.”

Again, the next thirty minutes of his life was subjected to helping Lif pick out an outfit. It went by much faster than before once Dee stopped trying to give an honest answer. He just made sure to keep his ratings between seven, eight, nine, and ten. Didn’t matter that he thought they were all tens, nor did it matter that all his scores were high. Lif was still worried about her outfit.

Before they knew it, thirty minutes had gone by and Lif’s ride still wasn’t there. Who even was Elizabeth?

Lif paced back and forth again as Dee snuck a glance outside again. This time no cars were even driving past the road. Lif’s anxiety was starting to wear off a little on him. Not because he wanted to go to the party, nor did he care about good impressions- He was perfectly fine here. 

No, he was more worried for Lif. If her ride never came then not only would she never stop worrying about her outfit, but when it was too late, she’d feel crushed. In a way, he could sympathize with her. Just because he wasn’t social, doesn’t mean Lif was too.

“Um, Dee?” He looked up from the window, the shutters snapping back in place. 

“Yeah?”

Lif looked down for a second then took a deep breath. “Would you mind helping me try on a few of my outfits?”

He blinked a few times in surprise. “Why?”

She fiddled with a lock of her hair, her eyes darting away to avoid looking at Dee. “Well, I don’t know when Elizabeth will be here, and I’d like to be able to try a few more outfits… You know?”

Dee’s blood felt like it went cold. His looked at Lif, then he looked back at the pile. She was asking him to help her model outfits that she might like. She was asking him to try on her clothes. 

She was asking him to try on girl clothes.

“No way.” He spoke quickly, answering before he could even full think.

“Dee, please? It will help me go by much faster!”

That didn’t matter! He wanted to say. It’s not that I don’t want to help you! I do. I’m just confused right now.

But he refrained. Because it didn’t matter who it was, no one was going to know.

He looked down at the laundry heap. Just because they were girl’s clothes, doesn’t mean he’d wear anything particularly… girlish. He could do his best to avoid the skirts and dresses. He looked at Lif, before finally sighing. “Fine. Fine.” 

The smile on her face and hug that came after made him sure it was worth it.

The next fifteen minutes was spent with both Dee and Lif trying into various outfits. Dee picked out clothes he thought would look good together (and were the least girlish of the pile) and Lif picked out whatever it was she wanted. Lif would change in her room and Dee was sent to change in the bathroom. His original clothes- white jacket, black shirt, jeans, and boots, were left in Lif’s room so he could get them fast and change back.

The next time Dee came into Lif’s room to show off the outfit, he’d admit that he catered a little more to his own tastes. Lif stood in her room, wearing a rather… Well, Dee was confident she was in the middle of changing before she asked his opinion.

“I-... I think it looks nice.” He cleared his throat, quickly looking out the window, hiding it at him checking for a car when in reality he was just cooling his head down.

“Your outfit looks… Well, it’s tomboy-ish. Dee, you keep picking tomboy outfits.”

“Well,” Dee paused, thinking of an excuse. “On the off chance that your ride comes, I’d like to not be caught in a skirt.”

Lif laughed, twirling the lock of hair in front of her face. “You won’t be going to the party in a skirt. I promise. Here, we’ll do a last change, and that’s it.”

Dee nodded, going towards the pile, but Lif held up a hand. “Hold it, I’m going to pick what you wear.”

“Oh no.”

“Don’t be so glum.” She searched through her pile before pulling out a new outfit. Very… Feminine.

She handed the outfit and instructed Dee to go put it on. He tried to argue, but Lif was already looking for another outfit. Slowly, he walked out to the bathroom and shed himself of the previous outfit. Now he got a proper look at each item as he put them on.

There were two shirts, he noticed. At first, he thought it was a mistake, but he put both on regardless. A plain black long sleeve, then on top a baggy short sleeve. He turned slightly, looking at himself in the mirror. The baggy shirt seemed to have been tied dyed and on the front was a black ink picture of what looked to be a woman.

Right. Okay.

He looked more at the pile given. Shorts, black. Stockings, Black. But when he put his hand through them, he noticed they were designed to stretch and be see through.

He breathed through his nose as he put them on. They weren’t… Too bad. This outfit wasn’t too bad. Not at all. He swallowed as he looked towards what was left.

It wasn’t too bad because he was avoiding what was left. A black skirt. He stared at the last piece of clothing, his mind running one thousand illegible thoughts before he finally sucked in a breath and slid it on. It was like a Band-Aid. He had to be quick! He had to be fast.

He wanted to look at himself.

Slowly, he turned around, taking in the eyeful. Well, he certainly still looked like Dee. Just… Dee in a skirt. Slowly, he turned around, admiring how the skirt twirled with him. The stockings clung to his skin, stretching to be paler when he bent his legs then reverting back to a black-ish tan when he relaxed. 

He should go out now, show Lif this outfit. But impulses told him to just spend a few more minutes looking.

His hands went down to his legs and he smoothed out the skirt. His nails were painted a sapphire blue- Not a color he had wanted to paint his nails. He was just desperate to paint them quickly that he grabbed the first bottle from his collection and applied it, not caring what color it was. While he regretted it after the paint was done, now he appreciated how it matched the blue in his outfit.

Slowly, Dee breathed in through his nose as he slowly lifted his skirt up to look at his shorts. He was horribly skinny, his legs and thighs more like twigs then branches. When he turned, his butt was just as flat as it’s always been.

For the first time in his life, he was wishing he was just a little bit fatter so he could look more like a girl. He quietly giggled to himself.

“Maybe I should choose to be a girl. I’d be healthier.” He smiled at himself for a bit, before he went back to being glum. He wasn’t sure if he was sad at the girl comment or the eating disorder comment.

He moved back to the front, a hand gliding down to squeeze at one of his thighs. He supposed there was… Enough fat there to look decent. 

He was a pretty girl. He looked almost exactly like a girl, and it made his chest feel sunshine warm. Of course there were… Two problems.

He should go outside. He should show Lif.

He pushed his reasonable side aside as he ducked a hand beneath his shorts. Regardless of how girlish he was, his noticeable bulge in his pants was… Well, noticeable. He took care in tucking himself behind his legs making sure it wasn’t too uncomfortable and that it wasn’t noticeable again... When he lifted his skirt back up, the front was completely flat, as if he never had a dick.

His cheeks were red as he turned around to look at his backside. His… He swallowed as he put his hand on his butt. It was almost invisible from here as well. You’d have to know it was there to see it.

Suddenly too flustered with himself, he dropped his skirt.

All that was left was the jawline. He wasn’t going to let his ponytail out now, not while he was over at Lif’s. But he didn’t find harm in tugging out two strands from the sides. His freed curls bounced slightly once they were freed, and he quickly positioned them, so they covered his jawline just enough.

Perfect.

He looked perfect!

He…

She looked perfect.

Dee posed slightly, admiring herself in the mirror. Her body has never felt so… warm before. She lifted a hand to her face, and the girl in the mirror followed suit. She winked, and her reflection winked back.

A picture!

She had to take a picture.

She grabbed her phone and opened the camera. She struggled slightly trying to find a way to photograph herself in a way that got every bit. Eventually, she realized that her best bet wasn’t trying to take a picture in the mirror.

After flipping the camera around, she lifted her phone above her. Dee was never used to taking selfies, not when he was a boy nor when she was a girl. So, this was… Fairly awkward for her. She settled on looking up at the camera and making half a heart with her hands.

She was fairly proud of herself when she saw the finished product. A grin grew on her face as she stared at herself. This was perfect. She looked nearly exactly to how she wanted. This was… Amazing.

Then his phone buzzed.

Caught off guard, Dee nearly dropped his phone as the message from Lif buzzed. It was a simple check in asking if he was okay. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he quickly responded back with a thumbs up. 

Fuck he spent too long in here. He moved to put his phone in his pocket- Only to discover that the skirt lacked pockets. Fucking hell.

He made his way back, trying to still how hard his heart was beating. That was stupid and he knew it. Inside, Lif had ended up in the exact same outfit as before with the baggy sweater and mismatched sized stockings. Dee tried not to scowl at her.

Any need to scowl, however, melted away when Lif finally saw Dee. Her eyes widened as she quietly gasped and put a hand to her mouth- Not to hide her gasp, but instead the smile that was forming. She walked up to Dee, circling around him, taking in every detail of what he assumed what the outfit. Her smile never faltering.

Dee wanted to assume that she was just appreciating the outfit and not laughing at him, but his happiness from earlier suddenly felt embarrassing and his mood shifted ever so slightly down.

“Do you like it? Do you finally want to switch?”

Lif stopped in front of him. She opened her mouth to respond before her phone buzzed. She paused before looking at her phone.

In an instant, her face when from happy to somehow growing paler than she already was. Dee furrowed his brows watching her reaction. Right away, Dee assumed that Elizabeth must have canceled. He reached a hand out to comfort Lif. Instead, she caught him by the wrist.

“We need to leave right now.”