Arts and Crafts
August 1st is just around the corner which means the campers will soon be leaving for one last visit home before the final stretch of the summer. For now, though Dorcas and Remus have found themselves in the arts and crafts building leading the campers through the art of friendship bracelet making.
Remus is grateful for the distraction, and the distance from Sirius. They’ve spent the past few weeks stealing away in the boat house and going for late-night swims and it’s all been perfectly wonderful. But Sirius has a flight booked back to London on September 1st and Remus can’t quite calm the panic rising in him. So instead of overthinking he’s spent the last few hours hiding away with the crafters. It’s been a sanctuary from a certain blue-eyed counselor so far.
“Remus? Earth to Remus?” Dorcas is snapping in his face.
“Sorry, Dork. What’s up?” He shakes himself out of his thoughts.
“Minnie just radioed me and asked if I could restock the wood sheds this afternoon. Will you be fine to manage these guys?” She gestures to the campers gathered around the embroidery string boxes.
“Yeah, no problem,” Remus shrugs. He really doesn’t mind.
“I’ll see if I can find someone to cover for me,” She promises as she slips out the front door.
Remus loses track of time as he unties mistaken knots and explains bracelet patterns to the campers. A late summer breeze is blowing through the windows and the kids chatter quietly. He is engrossed in an especially tangled bracelet when he hears the door swing open. He looks up to find a pair of sparkling blue eyes and a crooked grin staring back at him.
~~~
Remus has a clump of colorful string in his hands and he’s whispering quietly to a blonde teenager when Sirius slips inside the arts and crafts building. Remus looks up from his work and offers a tired-looking smile.
Sirius gestures behind him. “I just saw Dorcas, she mentioned you might need a hand.”
Remus straightens up and wipes his hands on his shorts. “Well unless your bracelet skills have improved since May, I’m not sure you’ll be much of an asset.” He laughs lightly but Sirius isn’t sure what to make of his tone. In fact, he’s not sure what to make of any of Remus’s behavior these past few days. The taller man went from affectionate and teasing to a much more subdued personality in the blink of an eye. Sirius has wondered if he did something wrong. It feels as though he’s back to where he started with Remus. In a reluctant friendship that doesn’t make a shred of sense.
“So do you want help? Or?” Sirius trails off awkwardly.
“I don’t want to keep you if you have something else to be doing,” Remus shrugs, he’s still smiling but Sirius gets the strong sense his presence isn’t wanted.
Sirius is tempted to take him by his shoulder and shake some sense into him, but unfortunately theres a few too many campers around for that. “Right then, I’ll go.” There’s a terrible sinking feeling in Sirius’s stomach as he leaves.
~~~
Remus wants to slam his head in a door and Sirius has been moping all night. They were supposed to be having an all-camp bonfire, but Lily and James kidnapped all the campers and took them out in the canoe instead. Molly, Arthur, Marlene, and Dorcas had headed into town, leaving Pete, Remus, and Sirius in the staff house.
The poor cook has been trying to make conversation all night, but his attempts have been falling on deaf ears. Remus feels bad for him, but the look on Sirius’s face is making it hard to have any semblance of a casual conversation. Eventually, Pete throws his hands up in the air and makes his way towards the door.
“I’m going to bake some cookies, y’all can come have some when you’ve figured your shit out.” He slams the door on his way out and Sirius has the nerve to laugh. He sounds a bit manic.
“Are you okay?” Remus asks slowly.
“I’m sorry,” Sirius says breathlessly. “It’s not that funny, it’s really not. I’ve just had a shit day.” Remus doesn’t respond, he doesn’t know what to say. Sirius stops laughing and frowns at him. “Have I done something wrong?”
“No, you haven’t.”
“So why are you acting like a massive asshole?” Sirius asks.
Remus looks at him. The other man’s eyes are sad and questioning, Remus feels like a knife is slicing into his chest. He didn’t plan to do this tonight. He was going to let himself have this for just a little longer, but he’s not sure he can. He sighs deeply. “Sirius I- we shouldn’t keep doing this.”
“What?” Sirius whispers. Remus watches his face twist from confusion to sadness, to anger.
“I’m sorry- I just . . .” Remus stutters.
“What the hell are you on about?” Sirius’s voice is angry now.
“You’re leaving in a month, I’m not. This-” Remus gestures between them, helplessly. “Was fun, but we have to be done. I can’t go on like this”
“Fun? This was fun?” The look on Sirius’s face has become downright deadly. “I poured my fucking soul out to you the other night. All that shit about Regulus, you’re the only person I’ve told that other than James.” There’s tears in his eyes. “I mean what the hell mate?”
“Jesus Christ Sirius, I didn’t mean it that way,” The knife in Remus’s chest is twisting deeper and deeper. “I just-”
“No, save it. I understand. This is over,” Sirius smiles ruefully and stalks out of the cabin into the night.
Sirius doesn’t come back, and Remus cries. He doesn’t come back when Remus collects their campers from Lily, not when he brings them back to the cabin, and not when he puts them all to bed. Gideon asks where Sirius went and Remus lies. As he clambers into his own bed, Remus stares at the empty bunk above him and wonders how the hell he got himself into this mess in the first place.