Chapter 1
When Regulus was a child, he knew what they expected of him, how he was supposed to act and behave as a child of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
He was born to replace Sirius and was expected to obey and strive for perfection; punishment for disobedience was inevitable.
There was no point fighting against his mother, and there was no point trying to be anything but what she wanted.
She’d enroll him in ballet. Fine, he’d be the best dancer there.
He’d fight and push for perfection, while his feet bruised and bled, just hoping that he’d one day receive her praise.
That one day he’d be more than just the replacement heir that his mother would drag away by the back of his coat.
She’d throw him harshly onto his bedroom floor when she was displeased with something he’d done.
Then she’d lock the door.
He wouldn’t be allowed to leave for hours, sometimes even days.
Left alone with nothing but the sound of scurrying steps outside his door until his mother finally decided to release him.
Crying only made it worse, only made her leave him there longer.
Sometimes she’d forget he was in there altogether.
That was the better of her punishments.
Being locked in a cold room for hours was nothing compared to everything else.
It was nothing compared to the physical pain.
His mother would kick him and throw him across the room; she’d leave bruises and torn bleeding skins across his ribs that would knock the air from his lungs.
But that was still better than when she’d used the cruciatus on him and Sirius
It could have been an ordinary day trying to do as he was told to perfection, and all it would take was one slip up when mother was in a foul mood.
White would flash in his vision the second she cast the curse.
He’d drop to the floor, curling into himself as every part of his body screamed in agony.
The pain would shoot through him, shredding the inside of his body and burning new scars into his chest as he writhed on the floor, too overwhelmed by pain to even hear his blood own screams through the manor.
When she was done, she’d leave him there, violently shaking on the ground.
He knew it wasn’t just him who was tormented by mother, because he would hear Sirius’s screams late at night.
Or he’d see the small drops of blood left behind.
When Sirius would be locked in his room, he made a habit of tiptoeing silently to the door just to talk to his brother
it was usually meaningless conversation, just something to keep Sirius company
Sometimes he’d even be able to sneak in food to Sirius, even though mother never forgot about Sirius for as long as she forgot his own presence.
He’d sit outside the door hoping his mother wouldn’t notice.
Pleading to the stars, he treasured that he wouldn’t be punished for helping his brother, and he wouldn’t have to feel that pain for as long as he possibly could.
But she always found out.
He didn’t know if it was the crumbs on the floor she was seeing or if she simply heard his footsteps echoing in the silent manor.
Regardless, she’d know and it would only cause him more problems to help Sirius, but he did it without fail every single time. Maybe that was how she knew.
The day Sirius’s letter came, he was ecstatic.
He got an owl, a wand, and Regulus wasn’t sure what else, but those two were pretty cool.
He even tried to pet the owl, but it bit him. Sirius just laughed at him while he looked over his bleeding hand.
Things around the manor got worse when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and he was left alone with their parents.
That was how he came to the realization that Sirius shielded him far more than he knew.
Mother would take her anger out on him instead of Sirius, leaving more bruises and cuts than he had gotten before.
At night, when he felt lost or lonely, he would steal Sirius’s shirts, the ones he had left behind when he left, and he’d keep them in his room as a slight comfort to burrow into after the bad days.
All the while, Sirius made friends and got into trouble over foolish pranks. But somehow still managed the perfection his parents demanded from everything.
What Sirius would never know is that whenever he pulled a prank or got in trouble at school, it wasn’t Sirius who faced mother’s wrath
And Sirius seemed addicted to causing trouble so much so that he would be scolded in Sirius’s place many times a week
Mother would drag him somewhere private and yell about how when he went to hogwarts This would not happen he would not make trouble he would stay in his lane and behave because the behavior would not be tolerated
She would teach Sirius’s lesson to him with all the rage she had
He had a set path that he would never escape from and every punishment on Sirius’s behalf, reminded him of that
Her punishments were severe to ensure the lesson would stick and that he would never act out or try to break free
He’d collect gashes and scars from the bottles she’d throw and the curses she’d cast
There were even times she’d kick him while he was down and he’d hear the forceful snap of his ribs that would never heal properly
And his body would bruise and bleed and he’d get up like it was nothing and clean up after the beating before going off to tend to his wounds
After a while, he learned to sew the deeper wounds shut, pinching his eyes closed as the needle pierced his battered body.
It wasn’t easy nursing his own wounds when he couldn’t even see half of them and others were in difficult places, but he’d push through, biting down his pain as he gently wrapped his injuries
The next day he would continue on like he didn’t even feel the pain while it would be searing in the back of his mind
When Sirius came home, he had selfishly hoped things would go back to how they were before and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad anymore
And he was right
Things got better and his mother pointed her focus back to Sirius just like before
But it wasn’t like before, not at all
Sirius had changed
He was brighter, louder, and his presence took up far more space than it had before. He was so much different, but Sirius was still his big brother. That would never change.
He had hoped that after Sirius went back to school, things wouldn’t go back to the horrible pattern that started when he left the first time, but the change was almost immediate
They went right back to taking their aggression out on him
His mother would punish him for Sirius’s actions.
The bruises would be bigger and more painful.
He’d have fresh stitches and still have to fight to please his mother.
He honestly thought things couldn’t get any stranger, but of course luck went out the door the day he was born.
When Sirius came home for Christmas, he was smiling.
That was never something that happened in the house, but he smiled.
When their mother punished him for his idiocy, he’d brush it off.
It was like Sirius had become a completely different person.
When he ruffled Regulus’s hair, he knew he would never be allowed to be free like Sirius could be.
His door creaked when Sirius walked into his room that night
“Reg?”
Sirius was unsure, and he was carrying a stack of paper clippings and photographs
Silently he watched Sirius shuffle in and close the door
“I-uh I brought some stuff from school, I wanted to show you”
He said quietly, walking closer to where he sat on the bed
As Sirius approached, he couldn’t help but wonder what he was so anxious about
“Like what” he responded, shifting his weight towards Sirius
Sirius smiled, his stress seeming to fade away
“Well, first there’s this,” said Sirius passing him a photograph
Curiously, he took the photo. It was Sirius, and all his friends, they were laughing
“Right there with the glasses that’s James he likes to write, I actually brought some of his stuff back with me I’ll show you in a sec, and that’s Remus he’s got a lot of scars he won’t tell us how he got them but they look pretty sick and last but not least there’s Peter,” Sirius pointed
“Cool,” he responded quietly
“Oh, and here’s that thing James wrote. It’s called ‘solid ground’” Sirius said, passing him a newspaper clipping that was haphazardly torn out
Title: “solid ground”
7/17/1971
I’m falling through the phases
Watching as everything happens,
But never truly there
A ghost to day-to-day life
My hand passes through everything
Did I die?
Am I just walking aimlessly searching
for something that can’t be found
Oh, what’d I’d give
To feel the earth beneath my feet again
Only when I am alone
Do I become a ghost
Drifting lost
You can see me, can’t you
You reach out and drag me back
To solid ground
My three man anchor
To reality
By James potter
After that Sirius just told him stories about school all of his pranks that he had gotten in trouble for instead of Sirius and even though he acted like everything Sirius was saying was plain boring and if you asked he would never admit it but he really wanted Sirius to tell him more
Every night Sirius would sneak into his room, bringing a paper from school and photos of his friends, and he would listen as his brother rambled on about his friends and their adventures.
He’d listen as Sirius read James poems to him, saying that when he came to school, it would just be one more to the group.
The next night it was Regulus who wandered into Sirius’s room.
When he walked In, there were posters on the walls and gryffindor decor all over the room, reminding him that Sirius had a life that he didn’t quite fit into.
Just like how his once plain walls were now decorated, and no longer fit the house’s standard gloom. Regulus no longer fit standing beside Sirius.