Prologue - Summer 1975
Summer 1975
Mary’s mind was wandering on the walk back to her house. The sun beat down on the pair as late afternoon hit. The silence appeared comfortable, but Mary couldn’t help but feel a strange mix of emotions that nearly separated her from her body entirely. Her spiralling train of thoughts were interrupted by the one question she both dreaded and expected.
“Ok, what is going on with you today?” Matt asked, pausing in his steps as his tone became laced with concern.
Shit. “What do you mean?” Mary responded. She’d been hoping that he wouldn’t have picked up on her .. mood.
“Clearly something’s wrong, you’ve been quiet all day. It’s like you’re not really here.”
Mary paused alongside him. She had avoided the words that wanted to fall from her mouth, but was completely aware of the consequences of them. They were so prominent in her mind that she feared any attempt at speaking would lead to a downfall of everything they had worked for. Rather than attempting to make what would usually be comfortable conversation, she had unintentionally avoided it entirely.
“I guess I’m just thinking about going back to school next week.” The half truth was all she could manage. She was definitely struggling with the thought of long-distance, but she would be lying to herself if she tried to admit that those were the only thoughts impacting her.
“You’ve been thinking about school all summer, half of our conversations involve your friends or your teachers.” Matt replied. It was clear that he was becoming frustrated with Mary’s non-committal answers.
“I mean I’m worried about us when I leave. There’s no landline at Hogwarts, we’d be relying on letters and I’m not sure that we’d survive the distance. We’ve spent almost every day together since we met.”
“I don’t mind writing letters. We’d survive if we both put in the effort.” Matt’s voice was growing desperate.
“My older sisters both went to university in relationships and neither of theirs survived a month, even with being able to call and visit each other.” She avoided eye contact as she attempted to explain herself.
“That sounds like you’re resigned to it already. You don’t even want to try?”
“I mean, what’s the point in putting off the heartbreak? Maybe we should save ourselves the trouble and just break up now.” Even as she was saying the words, Mary felt a crack forming in her heart. She hated this. She hated the fact that she was letting herself hurt him just because she was too much of a coward to admit the truth.
“The trouble?” He shook his head, finding it hard to believe that Mary was really saying all this. ”Do I really mean that little to you that you can’t even be bothered to try?”
“No, you mean the world to me Matt, please don’t think you don’t.” Mary pleaded for him to believe her, recognising the contradiction in her words. Yet despite that, that part was wholeheartedly the truth.
“Then why are you doing this?” Matt asked, sounding so sad and confused that Mary couldn’t look at him anymore. Turning away and wiping the tear that she couldn’t prevent from falling, Mary kept her eyes to the ground.
“It’s just easier this way.” She said, forcing her words to have an air of finality and walking away before he could argue further.