1981
James lights up the last pumpkin lantern on the table, the house decorated with fake webs and fake spiders and more pumpkin lanterns, the house smell like pumpkin spice and sweets, their roof charmed to resemble a spooky dark sky
It's Halloween night and James is excited at the prospect of the holiday, Lily is as excited, as she dressed up Harry in a mini quidditch jersey that Sirius had bought for him on his first birthday, They haven't had much fun in a while and ever since they went into hiding, everything seems a little bleak, they barely get into contact with their friends, Remus had been the most they go without contact, the man had kept to himself more and more, the missions Dumbledore sends him to and he keeps secret clearly has taken too much toll on him, Sirius' solo missions and raids at the front lines with aurors, and just like Remus, these raids had taken a toll on Sirius, James can see it on the ashen pallor of his face everytime they call each other on the two way mirror, Sirius and Remus' individual missions had taken a toll on their relationship, both going through the notions of their break up
To see Peter is as rare as seeing Remus and Sirius, with an ailing mother who's alone in their muggle apartment and his assignments with the order as well as some top secret stuff for the Ministry of Magic, and with him as their secret keeper, it's much more complicated already
Then there's James, Lily and Harry, in a house under a fidelius charm, because of a prophecy that sent Voldemort in a frenzy to find them and kill them. James can feel his blood boil whenever he thinks about the blasted prophecy, why does it have to be Harry? Alas there's no actual answer to that query, afterall what do they even know these days? Being cooped up in an unplottable house?
The first months of them in a Fidelius is the most difficult, Harry's more anxious and would cry nonstop for hours, he also often got sick possibly due to the sudden move and the heaviness of their situation that he can feel, Lily and James ran themselves spare, both paranoid, concerned and worried, it doesn't help that information would often be withheld from them it's always "Don't worry, we'll be fine" or "Your worries should be on you and your family " or "Your friends are strong, they can handle themselves" or "it is nothing you should be worried about,we will find a solution immediately "
And it's frustrating, the helplessness when their friends are in danger and they can't do anything and gnawing paranoia as they were kept in the dark, it did bubble up on the surface ended up with them having a hurl of words at Dumbledore and some Order members, their fireplace destroyed and their floo connection warded, took a week for them to actually open the connection back up and even then they're all guarded up
Everything had at least smoothed out recently and James got the idea of a small Halloween dinner and although there's no sureness of who will be able to go, at least Harry can enjoy what little joy they can provide with sweets and costumes that Lily said were common on muggle Halloweens
James had just lit up the last apple cinnamon candle in their living room, he sat on the couch admiring the little work he got done, thrumming his fingers on his leg, Lily then sits beside him with a mug of hot chocolate, he hands her one and for a moment they sat in silence savoring the warmth of the drink
"The house smells amazing" Lily says softly
"Yeah, mum always had these apple cinnamon candles, she only lights them up every Yule but I thought why not use them? Dad enhanced them with relaxing potions, we all need to relax and – What?"
"You're amazing" Lily tells him, her eyes and her smile soft
"Ah…uhmmm, Erhhh T-Thankyou?" W-why are you suddenly …"
Lily laughs as he stammers, his cheeks heating at the compliment
"Oh James, you're still so easy to fluster, but I do mean what I said, I don't know if I've said this before but, I'm glad you're here"
James plants a kiss on her cheek
"I'm glad you're with me too, you and Harry"
Lily leans her head on his shoulder and James snuggled closer, it's another silent moment for them when James asks
"Do you miss her?Mary I mean" Lily bit her lip at the question
"I do, so much…I called her once you know"
"Hm?"
"Before we knew about the prophecy, remember that mission in that muggle flats? I saw a phone booth close by, and I called…"
"Oh Lily, what did she say?"
"Nothing, we didn't talk, because I wasn't able to say anything, I just heard her 'hello' and I wasn't able to utter a word, And oh I missed her voice James"
"Oh Lils, I'm so sorry…"
He pulled her closer, dropped another soft kiss on her hair
"Do you miss him too?" Lily asks this time and James tenses a bit before sighing
"Yes" he replied silently
"Do you think the cakes are alright? You think we would need more?" James changed the subject and Lily looks at him with a worried frown pursing her lips as she heaves a sigh and smiled at him
"Everything's set James, the cakes are great and no we don't need more because I'll be dealing with you guys on a sugar rush and a sugar crush"
"Awww but it's Halloween, sweets and pastries makes it everything, Harry would agree"
"Nope, I'm not dealing with a sugar rushed one year old or 20 year olds"
"Nah you'll join us! I refuse to let you not be on sugar high, I can still remember the graduation party–"
"Finish that sentence and you won't even get a slice of cake"
James lets out a laugh, that charming laugh that always lightens the room that Lily had seen in Harry too, it's contagious, their banter escalated when James poked Lily on her side where she's ticklish, she erupted into a squeal before grabbing a cushion and starts smacking him with it, they rough housed for a few minutes when the bell rang and their wards were disturbed
"Must be Pete, or even Sirius, I'll go get them, you check on Haz, I think we woke him up "
Lily gives him a small smack on the shoulder, disheveled and still laughing as she trudged upstairs
"Alright Lads!" James announced and he opens the door
His smile dropped into concern when he was faced with a very pale Peter …
He's not Alone
"Peter what's going on?"
"James, I'm sorry…"
"Hello James" The man's voice sent shivers in James' spine
Its Him, Voldemort, his grin cold and his eyes red, there's an air of murder in his stance
"Lily, it's him, Run, Take Harry and run, Take Harry and Go!" He screams
"No need for fuss James, I just want the boy"
"You'll kill me first…"
He says standing firm, for all his trembling knees and the cold fear in his veins he looks at Voldemort's eyes , he's bare of any weapons, and yet he stood
"Sacrificial, how very Brave"
James grits his teeth, his eyes darting from Voldemort and Peter
Peter who they trusted as their secret keeper, Peter who sold them out, Why did he? When did his eyes become so… Cold?
"How Very Gryffindor, Foolish Boy…Avada–"
Green lights flooded James' vision, his eyes blown wide, he was only able to murmur a silent apology,a small prayer , that he wasn't able to protect Harry, he wasn't able to protect Lily, that he will let Sirius mourn another brother
Everything is bright, there's a white noise ringing in his ear, he felt like floating then, he was dropped thousands of feet, and he gasps
He is startled awake, everything felt foreign , he flailed around, his limbs are felt like jelly, and his stomach build up a pit, something cold pressed up his forehead and he flinches, eyes manic as he takes in his surroundings
"Hey, you're okay, Breathe James…" came a muffled voice
His fists clenched as he anchors himself, laboured breaths heaves his chest and his vision clears
"You okay?" In Front of him is Sirius, wand in hair, leather jacket and red and gold tie
Red and Gold
everything is Red and Gold
Five, four poster beds and a mess of trunks, clothes and books
This is their dorm…Their Hogwarts dorm