Capter forty-three. Dis-appointment
Honey colored disc of the sun was suspended behind a watery white cloud, which dissipated its light and made Dumbledore's study glow ruby, reflected in many brass mirrors and in red wooden furniture that ran all over the walls and even touched the dome of the ceiling. In this extention of Headmaster's office no lamp was lit, and the tea things on the round table, standing in the middle of the room, captured and reflected orange morning light perfectly in their many crystal edges. Dumbledore wore mahogany red pygamas that matched their shoes, their mane of wavy hair was silver in the shadow and dark gold on the right side that they presented to the balcony. They were speaking calmly and casually with their mouth processing a generous helping of pastry, leaning from time to time to get another one. Snape in their steal grey dressing gown thrown carelessly over grey set of pygamas was absent-mindedly caressing their cup, their black greasy looking hair barely touched their shoulders. As usual, their face was expressionless and only seldom convulsively broken by a smirk, a curve of their thin lips, or a lift of an eyebrow in reaction to their companion's remarks.
-...
- Oh, trifles, I'm going to the Ministry to give a consultation on Obscure sides of Protective spells. And what are you up to?
- Some Dark Arts lessons with seventh years.
Snape's chill tone all so clearly suggested that they were sick of it and would rather be doing anything else instead. Dumbledore frowned:
- Please, don't be a dick...
- Perhaps, I won't. You, on the other hand, have my permission to go on hard at the Minister. - said Snape, their lip curling; Dumbledore smiled:
- You are not tempted by this chocolate roll?
- No, - said Snape, half smiling, and pushed a plate away, - nothing for me.
- Well, they might be a bit unfair...
- *unfair*, Hermione! They pick on me as soon as he has a chance. When they see me, that is.
- Yes, maybe. BUT you too don't miss an occasion to hurt his feelings, - said breathless Granger, flying around the corner.
- In case you didn't notice, everything I do is hurting their feelings! - shouted Harry to be heard in the general havoc of a break, dodging several people. - Oh, that's it! - he wrenched at Hermione's sleeve, she rounded at him - I'm gonna skip D. A.!
- What? Listen, that will make things worse! Just, just talk to Snape.
- What for?!
- Come on, you haven't been exactly nice to them at first_
- I regret it now, so what?! How am I ever to tell them? It doesn't matter!
He span round, and ran down the corridor.
His face was burning, his feet were occasionally missing the stairs as he ran and ran, finally, he reached a restroom and rushed in. He leaned on the door from the inside exhaling with deep relief, when he turned to face the space, however, his heart sprang into his mouth: he wasn't alone. He was standing in the Slitherin private hall that opened to a set of one stall bathrooms, paved entirely with black marble on which magical spot-light was dancing. Bent over one of the sinks stood another person, crying and shuddering soundlessly. It was Draco Malfoy.
- Brilliant! - Harry whispered under his breath.
At the same time, several floors above in the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom Snape was taking the roll call, looking as gaunt as ever. On this occasion, they did not pause at any name, and made no comments as to the absence of three students: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and Rufus Rook. Then, they threw their quill, and stood up briskly to face the class.
__________
Draco righted himself and wiped his face defensively with his hand.
- What are you staring at? - he spat, trying to gain confidence.
- A miserable person in front of the mirror. - Harry said wearily.
- Well, you'd better stop it right now_ Stay where you are!
But Harry already approached and stood by the neighboring sink, staring right ahead of him in the mirror.
Draco followed his gaze, open-mouthed, and saw tears well in other's eyes.
He quickly looked away and felt as if he was prying, but at the same time his own misfortunes were nagging at him, wearing him off.
- What is it, Potter? Busy day? Ah, of course not: it's ten in the morning! - he jeered with relish.
But Harry did not answer, in fact, he appeared quite deaf to his taunts.
- Honestly! - shrugged Malfoy, as if he wasn't just crying himself.
Then, he caught a glimpse of Harry in the mirror: blazing cheeks, dilated pupils behind a wall of tears, drops of cold sweat sitting on his forehead. "This one looks dreadful" - he thought.
- Hey, are you alright? You're hyperventilating...
- Wh_? - words stuck in other's throat.
- Nothing. Maybe, sit down, or something...
Harry suddenly felt something sprinkle his face, he half opened his swollen eyes and saw Malfoy, wide-eyed, agitate his wand furiously before his nose, performing a poor Water Spray spell.
- Use the tap, you _ - Harry stopped himself in time.
- What are you saying? - shouted Draco flinging himself closer, the better to hear.
Harry pointed silently at the downside of the sink above his head, mouthing "the tap".
- Okay, I'll try - answered Draco.
Harry couldn't see what the other was doing, but it took him a couple of minutes to figure out how to work a faucet without magic, when, at last, Malfoy was kneeling again with a freshly conjured glass full of non magical water, Harry has already mostly returned to his senses.
- Freaking mechanics! - sighed Draco, settling beside Harry.
- You've never used those?
- Not really, no... Well, maybe a couple of years ago... I don't remember. And anyhow, why would I?
- Yeh, you wouldn't...
- Did you?
- Yeh.
- Ah, well, of course you did...
They sat for a moment in awkward silence, then Harry tried a small talk:
- So, what was that about?
- What was what?
- You being upset.
- Hullo, you're asking as if I had an advantage of you!
- I thought, you could've guessed! After all, we are both avoiding Snape.
- I'm not avoiding anyone!
- Why aren't you in the D. A., then?
- I'm not in the mood of attending to stupid classes tonight.
- Fine.
- How about you, though?
- Snape.
- What about them?
- We don't get on!
- I know. - laughed Malfoy.
- I'm sick of it!
- Ooooh... - he drawled with mock concern.
At this moment Roguella entered:
-Hi, Draco!
-Hi, Rogue!
She sized Harry up contemptuously and passed to one of the one stall rooms on the back of the hall.
-Is D. A. over? - Draco asked, when she was on her way out.
-Almost. In around ten minutes.
Harry rose up:
-Okay, I 'll be off. Thanks, by the way.
-Don't mention it. No, I mean it! Don' t.
- My hat ! There you are! My friend, I was looking for you. How was your rebellion? Had fun?
- No, I haven't had fun, Hermione. - said Harry sadly- AND it wasn't a rebellion!
- Okay, no need to be so pissed off with me. A had to cover up for you.
- How come?
- Obviously, I had a few questions after the lecture and I hang back. So, Snape asked me about you.
- By name?
- Oh, yes! And they sounded worried...
- Of course!
-...
- What was he asking you, then? Usually, they just pretend to be impartial and ignore my existence...
- He said,... They said they wanted to speak to you.
- What?
But the dark cold voice that answered him didn't belong to Hermione:
- Yes, Mr Potter, you've heard that correctly. Miss Granger, if you please, I'd like to entertain with Mr Potter privately.
- If you have something to say to me, you can do it in front of Hermione! - Harry said defiantly.
Snape seemed to hang, pondering, for a second, then, turned slowly to Harry in their reptilian fashion:
- Very well. I regret the damage my ways may have inflicted on your ego, Mr Potter. And I take it upon myself to present the news of my resignation from the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, that, I hope, will make your day, as well as my apologies.
Harry closed his mouth that opened in perplexity:
- You're joking!..
- We have, I am afraid, very different sense of humor.
He sharply turned to leave, over the shoulder:
- And_ Mr Potter, I'm not begging you for forgiveness: you may carry with you all the heavy feelings on my behalf.
They smiled with sad irony out of the corner of their mouth and briskly walked away.
Harry and Hermione stood, thunderstruck, for a few solid minutes.
Then, Harry spoke:
-I can't believe it... They strived so much... he clung to this post... Of course, they are not leaving, but... But... Does that mean that he is not teaching any subjects here anymore?
- Yes, I do think so. You see, he rearranged our practice schedule after the lecture, now I understand why... I think, they're staying as a sort of private coach, or tutor.
- Yes, they would certainly get along better with *the select few*. No offense, Hermione...
- No, no, I take your point.
Dumbledore looked up, on their desk several heavy books lay open. Snape swiftly came in with a rustle of their black robes.
- Headmaster, - they said - my resignation letter.
Dumbledore read silently, then, stood up:
- I cannot but respect your decision, Severus. May I hope that you will carry out the program at least untill the end of term?
- No, you may not. - answered Snape, walking around the desk to Dumbledore's side - Please, fill in for me - they said with pain in their voice, wringing they left arm and hiding it behind their back.
Dumbledore frowned, surprised by those new inflections in their companion's voice.
- There's something else - Snape resumed, panting slightly, - I strongly suspect that Hermione is using Treachery component_ against you.
And they ripped the sleeve of their robes with a spell, revealing their Dark Mark, that writhed and pumped balefully red.
Snape sat in Dumbledore's chair, an extensive chemistry set in front of them. Dumbledore brew an antidote on their instructions.
Some time after the last mouthful of it was gone and the goblet stopped to fume, Dumbledore spoke, holding Snape's left forearm up to their own face for an examination:
- I understand it, that those magical effects present an unequivocal proof of your hypothesis and give us some additional information. However_ - they broke off, their tone softened and sounded less busyness like - Severus, I assure you that I do not need any proof from _
- I can only suggest you not to trust people...blindly.
- I've never saw anything that would indicate a lie in_
- The Dark Lord never saw that either!
- Do you mean that you're using Occlumency against me?
- Maybe.
There was a little pause, Snape was scrutinizing Dumbledore, but the latter didn't look taken aback.
They resumed:
- I need you to hear this, Severus: I wish you could be as comfortable with concealing things from me as with telling me the truth. Do you understand?
- No. - said Snape honestly.
- I do not need you to be absolutely open with me, do you?
- I don't give a damn, maybe you are planning to kill me in time, for all I know. I can fend for myself.
- Maybe, I am, indeed. - said Dumbledore playfully.
- Peachy.- said Snape, standing up. - I'm coming this evening_ to the party, remember?
- Oh, yes!
- Tell Slughorn I'm bringing a guest: I might be a little late.
In the Slitherin common room, by the window, a large number of students were speaking cheerily, Malfoy said a few words to one and laughed with another, took a brush from the windowsill and walked to another window, closely followed by Zabini.
The latter spoke, while Draco was cleaning his dinner jacket:
- So, what do you want with this party? I thought this guy wasn't into Death Eaters.
- Yeh. My father scolded me after my last defeat on the New Year Ball, said to suck up to Slughorn no matter what. And, when he's found out that I wasn't invited... Well, he went berserk.
- I can't see how you could've gotten into the party, though...
- I'm coming to it. I was_ sort of upset_ and skipped D. A. the other day. So, when I got the note from Professor Snape I thought they'd recommend my expulsion or something. I came to see him in their study and they said they knew my situation and would bring me along.
- Wow, there is one lucky guy!
- I know. - Draco smiled smugly - After all, they've always valued me... That's what one calls *connections*.
Slughorn's study was dimly lit by lamps standing on many tables around which groups of people were gathering to discuss a specific topic, many invitees stood freely around the entrance and were conversing with the host.
- My best wishes to the Minister, Ed, always glad to hear from him! - Yes, yes, of course I remember your mother: the best Auror I've ever met - Ah, Severus! Good to see you, and_ who is it with you... Ah, yes, Dumbledore did mention...
- Good evening, Professor. I'm honored to be here. My grandfather always spoke very highly of you, Sir.
- Yees, enjoy the party. - He smiled politely but confusedly.
- Never mind, Draco, - murmured Snape - go this way, I'll introduce you...
After a tour of several influential groups Snape left Draco and joined a set of academicians where Dumbledore seemed to be enjoying themself. They listened at first, then, made one or two sardonic comments to the point, then, drifted to another group.
After a while Snape, Slughorn and his several acquaintances settled at a long dinner table, starting a festive supper, gradually joined by others. Dumbledore arrived somewhere in the middle, and took a sit that Snape saved for them.
Dumbledore and Snape were walking side by side in the dark corridor, they've just left the party:
- Admirable evening, don't you think ? I have particularly appreciated cello quartet in the end.
- Hmm. Although, the third movement was not dark enough for my taste: too much hope troubles digestion.
Dumbledore bit their lip, smiling.
- Can I join you this evening? - asked Snape when they approached the staircase.
- I was about to ask you the same! Upstairs? - inquired Dumbledore.
- I think so - said Snape, and took a step to the foot of the stairs.
Dumbledore and Snape sat on the rug in front of a fireplace, reclined on the couch.
- I _ don't want to talk... After listening to all this chatter . I'm just _ tired and if I were alone now, I wouldn't be able to gather my thoughts and ... it would destroy my brain.
- See your point. - Dumbledore reclined their head on the cushion of the divan following Snape's example.
No one noticed how many minutes passed in silence while they were looking around, upwards, at each other, peering in the fire, drinking from their goblets.
- Shade of Gray!.. - said Snape suddenly.
- Ah, yes. - Dumbledore looked at the button of a peculiar shape on their sleeve. - Arbitrary character of the boundaries of the Dark Magic and all.
- You are far beyond that, I can see.
The other looked them in the eyes with a curious expression:
- I've been told it's light grey.
- Lilac.
- I thought it was a lie, eye color changes in advanced Legilimences seen oly by advanced Occlumences.... It never worked on me even though I've gone rather far. Perhaps I cheated, after all, you are the only person to date who is able to stop me. _ Sorry, that didn't sound modest. - they added as an afterthought.
- Why being modest if one can be accurate? - said Snape softly, soothed by the sound of other's voice.
Dumbledore held their gaze for a while and, reassured, turned to look in the fire again.
- It's getting late, I'm gonna turn in,- said Snape finally, and removed their head from the seat of the couch.
- Good night ! - Dumbledore extinguished the fire with a wave of their hand and went to their desk to wrap up a few things.
Snape closed their eyes and sank their head forcefully into a pillow, drowning their face in cold linen, yearning oblivion.
Up in the Headmaster's study Dumbledore was turning and tossing in their bed, rather overwhelmed by the party. Their bedroom was shadowy, balcony windows were a little ajar and white curtains trembled slightly in the wind. First discolored light of dawn was sipping in.
When they opened their eyes, however, the room was bathed in brightness, they have been awakened by the slight pressure on their shoulder: Snape was standing over them, repeating - "Brian_ Brian_".
- I hate to trouble you, but the D. A. class is in an hour and I haven't seen you at breakfast...
- Yes... Thank you, Severus... You look dreadful, did you get sleep at all?
- Nothing to worry about, the usual... - said Snape in an offhand tone.
- I can cancel your training with Hermione, if you wish.
- It won't be necessary. Well, I must be going.
Snape swept out of the room, leaving in the air almost unnoticeable waft of Sleeping Draught.
Dumbledore sat still for a moment, pensively rubbing their forehead with their index and middle finger. Then, they took their wand from a bedside table, got into their robes with one flick of it and proceeded into the next room.