Chapter 4
Every time Eddie talked to Buck, he chickened out, not telling the other man about the baby that was growing inside of him. He wanted to tell him; he really did but then Buck talked about whatever person he was seeing, and Eddie just didn’t do it. He didn’t want to ruin Buck’s life.
Eddie was four months pregnant now, starting to show but he always wore baggy shirts or hoodies to cover his growing bump, not wanting anyone to know just yet, especially his parents. But on this particular day he was wearing a shirt that was a tad tight, showing off his small bump and of course that’s when someone decided to knock on the door before opening it and barging in.
“Eddie?” Buck called out. Buck? What the hell was Buck doing in El Paso and not Los Angeles. “Eds?” He calls again before closing the door behind him and walking inside, smiling when he spots Eddie on the couch.
“Buck? I- I didn’t know you were coming.” Eddie stammers, quickly grabbing a pillow and setting it in front of his stomach making Buck raise an eyebrow.
Eddie just shrugs his shoulders. “I’m cold?” He says it in a questioning tone.
“So, you chose the pillow instead of the blanket that’s on the back of the couch?” Buck asks. “I missed you and Chris, so I figured I’d come to visit. Bobby gave me the week off.” He tells the man before sitting on the couch next to Eddie.
Eddie tightens his grip on the pillow. He thought he had more time to tell Buck, but he couldn’t keep it a secret now, not when he was going to be there for a week. “I figured you’d let me stay here, so I didn’t book a hotel or anything.” Buck says and frowns when Eddie’s silent. “Or not, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“No! It’s fine Buck, of course you can stay here. I don’t mind.” Eddie says and sighs heavily.
“What’s wrong?” The other man questions him, eyes darting from Eddie’s face to the pillow. He could tell something was bothering the man, but he couldn’t pinpoint what. “You’re hiding something.” He hums.
Eddie hated that Buck could read him so well. He didn’t want to tell him yet, but he might as well rip off the band aid. Chris had been spending a lot of time at Eddie’s, but he wasn’t there now. The boy was still at school, so it was the perfect time. “Uh, I guess I am.” Eddie says softly, looking down at his hands that were clutching the pillow tightly. “And when I tell you, please don’t be mad at me.”
Buck furrows his eyebrows and reaches over, fingers on Eddie’s chin lifting his head up gently so he could look him in the eyes. “Why would I be mad at you?” He asks, confusion in his voice.
“Because I’ve been keeping something from you, and it affects you. It affects all of us, you me and Chris.” Eddie says, trying to look everywhere but Buck’s eyes. But the man was holding onto his chin, firmly but gently, not letting him look away. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad.”
“Eddie, what are you talking about? What affects the three of us?” He asked, he was wracking his brain for anything that could help him, but he came up empty.
Eddie takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Here goes nothing.” He mumbles. He didn’t have time to prepare for this and it’s driving him crazy, but he just had to do it. “Remember what happened between us before I left for El Paso?”
Buck nods his head, pulling his hand away from Eddie’s chin to caress his cheek. “Of course I remember. You didn’t think I would? What does that have to do with what you want to tell me?” Again, he was confused.
“I figured you’d remember, I just wanted to be sure.” Eddie nods. “Um, I found out I gave the carrier gene.” Eddie says. “And funnily enough I found out when I found out that I’m pregnant.” He finally looks away from Buck, not wanting to see the man’s reaction. He’d probably be disgusted.
Buck inhales sharply and pulls his hand away from Eddie’s face. The other man frowned at the loss of contact, but he should have known it was coming. “Eddie, what?” He asks, taking a deep breath before continuing. “And you wouldn’t be telling me this if it wasn’t mine.” Eddie just nods, still not looking at his best friend, the father of the child that he’s currently carrying. “That was four months ago Eddie. You’re telling me you’re four months along and I’m just now finding out?” He asks, sounding a bit hurt and angry.
Eddie couldn’t blame him; He’d be hurt and angry too. “I’m sorry.” Eddie whispers. “I tried to tell you when I found out, but you had said you had to go because your date was there early and I just, I didn’t want to disrupt anything. You kept going on dates, so I didn’t tell you.”
“So, you kept our child a secret from me. Because I was dating?” He frowns and Eddie nods in embarrassment. “I honestly can’t believe you’d do that. Were you afraid that I wouldn’t drop everything to do what I could to be here for you?”
“I was afraid that you would.” Eddie says, truthfully. “I didn’t want you sacrificing your happiness.”
Buck’s face softens at that. “Eddie, I wasn’t happy.” He shakes his head.
“You weren’t?”
“No.” Buck says, leaning back against the couch and sighing. “I was dating because I missed you.” He tells him, tilting his head to the side to look at the other man. “That night we spent together before you left was the best night of my life. And I know that sounds cheesy.” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “But it was. I wasn’t happy so I asked for time off work and came here instead, knowing that you and Chris would make me happy. And let me tell you, even though I’m upset with you for not telling me, I’m happy.”
“You are?” Eddie asks. He knew Buck always wanted a family, that he wanted kids, but he didn’t know what Buck would think, knowing that Eddie was the one carrying his child.
“Definitely.” Buck says, nodding his head and that’s when Eddie finally let’s go of the pillow, pulling it away from his stomach. Buck’s eyes widened as he saw the small bump that Eddie had. “Oh wow, you’re already showing.” He commented, fingers twitching to reach out and touch, but he didn’t want to invade Eddie’s space.
Eddie nods his head, placing his right hand on top of his bump. “Mhm. Doctor’s say baby’s on track, a little bigger so I’ll probably have them early.” He speaks. “Speaking of, I actually have a doctor’s appointment the day after tomorrow. The doctor was going to try to find out the gender. Do you want to come with?”
“Of course.” Buck nodded his head quickly; Eddie was afraid he’d get whiplash. “It doesn’t feel real.” He chuckles, keeping his eyes on Eddie’s stomach.
“I told the doctor she was wrong when she told me I was pregnant.” Eddie laughs softly. “She scheduled me for an ultrasound the next day and I puked when it was confirmed.” He tells him and Buck frowns, reaching over and grabbing his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to see the ultrasound pictures?”
Buck shakes his head, instantly regretting it when Eddie’s face falls. “It’s not that I don’t want to see the pictures, but I want to wait until your appointment. I feel like it’ll be more special that way. It sounds stupid, I know.”
“No, it’s not stupid.” Eddie smiles, squeezing his hand back. “I know me being here in El Paso isn’t ideal for our situation, but we’ll make it work. I’m trying to get Chris home as soon as possible. It’s just taking a bit.”
“Eddie, If I have to move here from LA then I will, no hesitation. I’ll transfer stations.” He tells him and Eddie’s eyes widen at that.
“You’d leave your family?” He asks.
“Of course I would! You’re family too, Eddie. It’s a no brainer that I would leave everyone behind to be with you, Chris and our baby.” He says Eddie wants to kiss him, so bad but instead he just cries, damn hormones.
Buck doesn’t say anything, just reaches over and pulls Eddie into him, giving him a hug, holding him. “It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay now.” He murmurs, and for the first time in four months Eddie believes that everything will be okay.