now go stand in the corner and think about what you did
Benjy Fenwick knew a lot of broom closets.
Evan and Barty had decided on Benjy for Remus’s first ‘conquest’ (“Evan, Barty, stop calling it that. It’s not a war plan.”) because he was, as Mary liked to call it, a bit of a man whore. Benjy had snogged half the castle, including Sirius, multiple times.
Getting with Benjy was surprisingly easy. Maybe Remus was better at flirting than he thought. On Monday afternoon, Remus lingered back after Potions, waiting for the room to clear and for Slughorn to return to his office. He knew Benjy always stayed after to help clean up. He was a good guy like that.
Remus sidled up next to Benjy, trying to imitate one of those smiles Sirius gave when pursuing someone.
“Need any help?”
Benjy smiled at him. “Sure, why not?”
As they put the books away, Remus took a breath, channeling all of James’s confidence. He snuck up behind Benjy, leaning down to whisper in his ear. Unwillingly, he thought of when he had whispered in Sirius’s ear just two days earlier. Focus, Remus.
“You know,” Remus muttered, “I’ve always had a thing for Ravenclaws.”
A slow smile spread over Benjy’s face.
“Oh, yeah? I tend to avoid tall, fit Gryffindors,” Benjy drawled, winking at Remus.
20 minutes later, Remus was pressed up against Benjy, Benjy’s lips nipping at Remus’s ear and making a slow path down his neck. They had been intercepted on their way by Filch multiple times, but Benjy somehow had an infinite number of hook-up spots hidden up his sleeve.
After they were done, Remus attempted to fix his hair and straighten his tie, while Benjy watched amusedly.
“Sirius Black is going to murder me now, huh?”
Remus glanced up with a start.
“Why do you say that?”
Benjy rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “Everyone knows that Sirius is obsessed with you. He’d kill anyone who got too close.”
“That's bullshit. Sirius just wants to control everything. Everything is about him. And he won’t even speak to me if he knows what’s good for him.”
Benjy just smirked. “Mhm. Just invite me to the wedding. It’s been lovely, Remus.”
And with that slightly confusing response, Benjy left.
As Remus walked into the library, he found Evan, leaning back in his chair and smirking.
“What’s with the face?”
“Lupin, your lips are swollen and your neck is covered with hickeys. I think you know ‘what’. So tell me, was Benjy as good as they say?”
“What’s that saying about not kissing and telling?”
“Don’t be a prude.”
“You sound like Lily.”
“Evans? Didn’t expect that from her.”
“She’s worse than you, always demanding intimate details of my life.”
As if on cue, Lily Evans stalked over to them.
“Remus, why do you have hickeys all over your neck?”
“Benjy Fenwick.” Evan supplied helpfully. Remus glared at him.
“Benj- wow.” Lily was speechless.
Lily’s expression turned sour.
“Is this really such a good idea, considering that you were screaming at Sirius 24 hours ago after he ruined your last relationship?”
Evan grinned. “Oh, but that’s the best part, Evans. There is no relationship. We’re teaching Remus the art of the casual hookup.”
“Do I even want to know?”
“It’s good for him! He needs to get out there, get some experience. Not just stand behind his friends with his head down. And if it happens to piss off Sirius in the process, all the better.”
Lily tried to scowl, but it looked like she was holding back a smile.
“Not that I agree with this whole revenge plan,” with those last words, Lily’s mouth curled up unwillingly, “but I do think it’ll do Sirius some good to realize that you don’t belong to him, Remus.”
At that, Evan muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “not yet, at least”, at which Lily smirked.
“Though, if you’re going through with this - which again, I can’t publicly endorse,” though the glint in her eye said otherwise, “you’re going to have to do a little more than just snog Benjy Fenwick.
“What, should I snog Dean Collins, too?” Remus replied with a grin.
“No- well, actually, maybe. But I mean you need to make it obvious that Sirius can’t control you. If you’re going to do this, you need to own it.”
Lily would never admit to it, but Remus knew she had a bit of a vengeance streak herself. Not in the way the Slytherins did, but she loved to see an underdog win. It’s why she had an affinity for tutoring the small, quiet first-years. And it’s why, despite her clear uncertainty about his plan, Lily would help Remus, because she wanted him to prove himself as more than just James and Sirius’s quiet friend. She’d wanted him to for years. And if this was the way, Remus knew she’d back him, even when she claimed it would be a disaster.
The bell rang, signaling the start of dinner, and Lily sprung into action. Dorcas wandered over, an amused expression crossing her face.
“Is there a reason Lily is currently unbuttoning Remus’s shirt?”
Evan grinned at her. “Lily’s trying to make him look like more of a bad boy.”
“God, is this the revenge plan again?”
Remus whipped his head around. “You told her?”
“Remus, I was in the room when you came up with it.”
Evan chuckled. “Dorcas likes to hide under blankets and listen to our conversations.”
“Step back, everyone. I got this one.”
Evan turned to Lily and Remus. “I hate to say it, but trust Dorcas on this one. She’s got a knack for these sorts of things.”
Dorcas mussed up Remus’s brown curls, then unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt. Then she untied his tie, hanging it loosely around his neck. She stood back to admire her handiwork.
“Now Remus, babe, none of this is going to work unless you walk with some confidence.”
“Dorcas is right about that. If you want people to know that Sirius doesn’t control you, you gotta prove you control yourself.” Lily put in.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Evan added, “you’re eating dinner with the Slytherins tonight.”