why can't i be dead to you?
Remus was livid.
That morning, Oliver had intercepted him on his way to the greenhouse. Pulling him into a corner, he stood in front of Remus, looking uncomfortable.
“Look, Remus. You’re cool and all, but I don’t think I can do this.”
Remus stared at him, openmouthed. He racked his brain for what could have changed in the 12 hours since Remus last saw him. They’d talk the entire party, flirting and exchanging light touches. It had been fun. Then they escaped the portrait hole, finding an alcove to do something a little more than light touching. That had been fun too.
“It’s not your fault, Remus. I just don’t think we’re a good idea. Too much drama.”
And as Oliver uttered the word ‘drama’, Remus knew.
“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. Now tell me what the fuck Sirius said to you.”
From the way Oliver grasped the back of his neck, refusing to meet Remus’s eyes, he knew he had hit the nail right on the head. Who else but Sirius would ruin something so good?
“Forget it.”
Remus turned abruptly, striding towards the Great Hall. Of course it was Sirius. The worst part is his plan had been working. Slowly, Remus was getting over Sirius. Or at least believing that he could. The last 2 weeks with Oliver had been wonderful. Chatting about books, laughing over cups of hot chocolate, hiding in broom closets past curfew. Remus was happy in their relationship. Something that he never thought he could achieve, not only because of Sirius, but because of his lycanthropy as well. But Oliver understood the distance, and didn’t pry. He let Remus set the pace and hadn’t pressured him to overshare.
“Are you proud of yourself, Sirius?” Remus shouted across the Great Hall. He never raised his voice, but something about this time had done it for him. His blood pumped the same way it did on the full moon, and if he could see himself, he’d probably find his eyes shining yellow, the wolf coming out. Sirius had given him a reason to be furious, and the wolf had grasped onto it.
Sirius turned around in his seat, staring at Remus. As did most of the other students assembled in the Great Hall.
“Are you happy that you ruined this for me? I didn’t realize my being happy was such an insult to you. Sorry, I forgot how you get when everyone is paying attention to Sirius fucking Black. What, were you jealous that the rest of us are actually moving on with our lives, rather than spending all our time doting on you?”
“Moony, I-”
“Don’t fucking call me that.”
“But-”
“You know the worst part, Sirius? You said you were okay with it. You told me you were happy for me. What, does ruining my life make you feel better about yours? Or do you just need to prove you’re better than me?”
Leaning over the table, he lowered his voice to a whisper, his lips brushing Sirius’s ear. In a cruel thrill, he relished how Sirius shivered at the touch.
"What’d you do, tell him I’m a werewolf? Or were you just a prick?”
Sirius gaped at him.
Remus stood up, staring him straight in the eye.
“Fuck you, Sirius.”
Remus stalked out the hall. Then he started to cry.
Without realizing it, he found himself in front of the Slytherin dungeons, tearfully asking Dorcas to let him in. A moment later, he flung himself onto Evan’s bed. Normally, this would be a matter for Lily. But Remus didn’t want to feel better. No, what Remus needed was an enabler.
“Remus, I heard-” Evan started kindly.
“I want to make him feel just as bad as I do. I want to ruin him.”
Barty, who had been watching from the door, walked over with a glint in his eye.
“Now we’re talking, Lupin.”
“Barty-” Evan started.
“No, let him talk.”
For the past 6 years, Remus had accepted that he wasn’t a doer. Enough shit happened to him without asking. What he couldn’t control, he would just let unfold. That’s why he’d sit back while James and Sirius flirted with everything that moved. It’s why he kept his head down in the halls, why he didn’t stir up drama even when it was warranted. Remus didn’t like to be a burden, and he hated to make a fuss. But for the first time in his life, Remus wanted to be seen. Sirius was the person he loved the most. Now, that love had become utter betrayal. He didn’t need Lily’s tissues and chocolate. Remus needed revenge.
“Sirius scared away Oliver, right? He thinks that he succeeded. You need to show him how all he did was make it worse.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Get to the point, Barty. What’s your big idea?”
“You need to throw it in his face. My dear Remus, it’s time-”
“That you become a slag.” Evan finished, with a unsettling grin on his face.
It was in these moments that Remus remembered why Evan was in Slytherin. He was kind, quiet and humble. And he definitely wasn’t cruel like Snape and the others. But he did believe in vengeance. An eye for an eye. Normally, Remus would’ve run. But right now, an eye seemed like exactly what he needed.
“What do I have to do?”
Evan and Barty exchanged a glance.
“Let’s start by loosening that tie.”