he'll never be like you (i'm only human, can't you see)
It would’ve been easy for Remus to love Oliver Knight. Oliver Knight was smart - he was shite at Potions, but excelled in the rest of his subjects. He had a quick wit and a knack for creating spells that rivaled even Remus’s. Oliver Knight was interesting. Being half-blood like Remus, he knew all the muggle music that Remus loved. He was obsessed with Queen and half in love with Freddie Mercury. He was funny, in a way where he barely realized it. Oliver Knight was fit. He’d argued with Sirius earlier, but he hadn’t lied about Ollie’s attractiveness. He was tall, almost as tall as Remus, with light blonde hair and a very classic set of good looks. He was strong and lean, toned from playing Ravenclaw Quidditch. Worst of all, Oliver Knight was nice. Though he dished out what was deserved, he treated people well. The only problem with Oliver Knight? He wasn’t Sirius Black.
The more time Remus spent with Ollie, the more he noticed all the reasons he wasn’t Sirius. He was all light hair and eyes where Sirius was dark. He was amiable where Sirius was stubborn. He was predictable where Sirius was infuriating. And worst of all, he was perceptive where Sirius was, frankly, oblivious.
Remus and Ollie had been waiting for their butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks when he asked abruptly “Are you in love with Sirius Black?”
Remus just blinked at him. Whatever he’d expected Ollie to say, it hadn’t been that.
“No, of course not,” Remus replied, probably a little too quickly.
Ollie smiled drily. “It’s fine, Remus. It’s pretty obvious from the way you look at him.”
“I-”
“Remus, relax. I get it. If I was that close to him, I’d probably love him too.”
Remus was at a loss for words.
“It’s okay if you love him. I just hope you’re open to moving on. It’s not like it’s going to happen anyways.”
Remus knew he was right, but it still stung. He didn’t need to be reminded how out of his league Sirius was. But he realized that Ollie was giving him an out, a chance to move on. Wasn’t that what he’d been searching for?
“Yeah, I’m ready to move on.”
Ollie smiled, reaching over the table for Remus’s hand.
“Good.”
But something still nagged at Remus.
“Ollie, how’d you know I was gay when you asked me out?”
“Honestly? I’ve known for years. Your friends are pretty oblivious if they just realized. I remember how you looked at our third year Care of Magical Creatures professor.”
“Hey, he was fit!”
“I never said he wasn’t. You have good taste. I mean, you went for me.”
Remus scowled, but he was trying not to smile. “If I remember correctly, you asked me out.”
“That’s not what I heard…”
As they continued their teasing over butterbeers, Remus realized Ollie might not be Sirius, but he was enough. Remus knew Ollie was right - he and Sirius were never going to happen. Sirius could hate every guy he dated, but at the end of the day, he didn’t see him as anything more than Moony. At least with Oliver, he could distract himself from Sirius’s latest conquest and more than that, he actually liked Oliver. And one day, though not anytime soon, he could even see himself loving Ollie. Not the way he loved Sirius - he didn’t think he could love anyone like he did Sirius - but in a secure, real way.
Saying goodbye to Ollie that afternoon, Remus felt content. He’d done what Lily said and begun to branch out. Hell, he had an almost-boyfriend now. He began to walk back to the tower, a small smile on his face. As he entered the Gryffindor common room, he saw Lily sprawled on the floor while Mary painted her nails. Her face lit up as Remus entered.
“Rem, come tell us about your date!”
Lily was much like James in the way that you just couldn’t say no to her. Remus made his way to where the girls sat, plopping down on his favorite armchair. In habit, he began drumming his fingers on the arm.
“Remus! Stop drumming and tell us this instant,” ordered Lily.
Remus grinned. “You sound like my mum.”
“Hope is a lovely woman,” Lily said, sniffing indignantly.
“My date was fine, mum. We got butterbeers and talked.”
“That’s it?” Lily arched her brow.
“That’s it.”
“So you didn’t snog him then?”
If Remus had been drinking something, he would’ve spit it out. “Lily!”
Lily laughed. “Since when are you a prude, Remus? I seem to remember you telling me when you shagged Willam Campbell last year.”
“What the fuck?”
Remus turned at the sound of Sirius’s voice. His eyes were cold.
“You shagged fucking Will Campbell?”
Remus arched a brow. “I thought you were happy if I was happy?”
“Not with William fucking Campbell! You know he’s vile.”
“Didn’t seem that way when you snogged him in fourth year,” said Mary from her spot on the floor.
Sirius shot her a look, and she promptly flipped him off.
“Forgive me if I’m not taking relationship advice from someone who’s shagged half the castle.”
“So you and Knight are in a relationship now? Congratulations to the happy couple.”
“Whether we are or not is frankly none of your business.”
“It is when you’re telling half the Gryffindor population about your exploit.”
“That’s rich coming from you, Sirius. This might be shocking, but not everything is about you all the time. Your feelings have absolutely to do with my relationship. I don’t give a flying fuck what you think of my ‘exploits’”
He stopped, out of breath. He didn’t usually speak for this long. Leave it to Sirius to come and ruin everything when he was finally moving on.
“I guess next time I’ll just snog Lydia Johnson at the breakfast table. Real classy, Sirius.”
And with that, Remus pushed back the armchair and stormed upstairs.