Not-so-wonderful Home.
Cokesworth's atmosphere wasn't as calm as this before, Severus felt his hair flowing through the gentle breeze of the wind. He lay on the grass, feeling the embrace and warmth of the surface of the ground. Peculiar indeed.
The weather wasn't hot, nor was it cold. It was just all right. All right for Severus to stay out and feel the grasp of mother nature herself. He watched as leaves fled along with the gust of the wind, red fiery hair flowing through the wind as well.
Severus Prince Snape, a young wizard born with the blood of a muggle and a witch. He had long, lavish black hair, and big black doe orbs. Though he grew up in a muggle townlet, his mother had made sure that he knew much about the world beyond the muggles.
Severus thought about his home. The usually gray, battered house, ugly as ever, deep within the ragged slums of Cokesworth.
Now that Severus thought of it, his home wasn't quite one that someone would aspire of. He always knew, that deep down, he'd never get what he oh-so wishes for.
He didn't have quite the loving father, nor a loving mother. They were far from it.
His father, Tobias Snape: a muggle, a cruel, vile, and violent one. His father was abusive and an alcoholic. He took his anger and frustration out on poor little Severus and his mother. Severus always wondered why his father had become like this. It wasn't always like this.
His mother wasn't as bad as his father. Really, he preferred his mother. Though his mother had helped him with his new-founded knowledge about the wizarding world, she still hadn't shown him any genuine affection and care.
His mother, Eileen Prince Snape: a bright witch, her roots coming from that of an ancient family: House of Prince. Though it may not be part of the sacred twenty-eight, it is still an influential family with loads of connections and a loaded Gringotts account. Though more tolerable than Tobias, she was still a neglectful mother. She never spoke a word whenever Severus faced the wrath of his madman of a father.
Though Severus never felt safe in the comfort of his home, there is one place that he always felt safe at. Severus is glad and forever will be to meet Lily. Lily was his friend, his only friend.
He never got along with any of the kids back in Spinner's end. In fact, Lily was the only person he ever got along with in Cokeworth.
Lily Evans is a muggle-born girl, a witch that has the roots of two non-magical beings. She is bright, kind, and responsible. She had beautiful fiery hair, as deep as the flame within her heart. Green eyes as pure as her soul.
Severus himself had fallen for her the moment she had shown him kindness that he had never received before. At first, he envied her for being perfect and beautiful unlike him.
Severus had always been insecure about his looks, but he just shrugged it off by just not caring. He thought that if he didn't pay any mind to his looks, he'd worry less. He had an obnoxiously large nose and greasy hair. His family couldn't exactly afford for his own self-care. Perhaps, they might have been able to, but his parents refuse to do so, leaving him all greasy.
Lily lived in a humble, gentle, and nice household. She was quite the opposite of Severus. Severus lived in a ragged slum on the outskirts of Cokesworth: Spinner's End. Severus didn't exactly have the happiest childhood. It was far from happy. All he had ever wished for was a nice relationship with his parents. But perhaps, even god himself wasn't that generous.
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Severus grunted softly as he tried reaching for the bearing pear tree. He was too short to reach, far too short. Lily, who was behind him stared at him in pity. "Severus, it's all right! I don't need it that much! You could end up falling and hurting yourself!" Lily pleaded, grabbing onto Severus' blouse, begging him to get down before he stumbles.
"I can handle this, don't worry," Severus replied, seeming to flex his toes to reach further. He could hear Lily chuckle from behind him. After a few more minutes, he didn't end up the victor.
"That's enough, Sev! You can try again tomorrow!" Lily shouted to Severus. Severus obliged and safely got off the tree. He smiled at Lily softly yet awkwardly at the same time.
As the two of them continued to chat, it was already sunset. It was now a sign for Lily that she needed to head back home. Her parents would be worried about her if she was outside for longer than her parents anticipated. "I have to go, Sev! Sorry, but my parents would get worried if I stayed out longer!" Lily quickly bid Severus farewell as she absconded. Severus watched her walk away, the cheerful expression he gave her shifted into a more distraught expression. The atmosphere became desolate. That would mean he also needed to return home.
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As Severus entered his home; it didn't even look like home. It was filthy. Beer bottles all over the floor, shattered glass pieces, and the stench of cigarette drags. He covered his nose, trying to not inhale the smoke.
From the corner of his eye, he could see his mother knitting something that seemed to be a shirt, far too big for Severus. For his father, perhaps? His mother was sat on a chair that was set next to the window. He could see a glimpse of a small bruise on his mother's forearm. His father must've drunk himself to madness once again.
Severus turned around to see his father standing behind him, he looked furious. Tobias grabbed onto Severus' ear and twisted it, dragging him by the ear. He threw Severus onto the floor, causing Severus to whimper in pain.
"Your mum told me about what you did." Severus' father accused him as he wrapped his hand around Severus' neck, strangling him if he didn't utter a word. "You tore apart my new shirt!" His father yelled as he tightened his grip around Severus' neck. Severus couldn't help but let out a barely audible wince of pain. Tears were forming in his eyes as he gripped his father's hand, trying to make his father pull away. "I-.. didn't...!" Severus replied almost immediately, he stared at his father who was staring at him with disdain and contempt. His father let go of his neck and gave him a hard slap across the face before walking away, grabbing a bottle of beer with him.
Severus was coughing, trying to catch his breath after the tight strangling his father gave him. He cupped his cheek, it was red from the hard slap. Merlin, he was overzealous by the idea of running away from home after he attended Hogwarts. Surely, Hogwarts would accept him, right? After all, maybe he was just unfortunate in the muggle world. Maybe he truly was meant for Hogwarts.
He and Lily had already gotten their letters of admission to Hogwarts. The only problem, that being is his financial incapabilities. Though his mother had already agreed to let him use her old equipment, he found it disappointing. After all, all that he is getting are hand-me-downs.
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The next day, Severus woke up, his body all sore. Severus let out a soft whimper as he sat up from his bed, his body aching. He got up and walked over to the small window which was his only source of light. There was barely any sunlight in Spinner's End. The entire street was filled with smoke from the run-down factories. There wasn't much of a view. All he could see was the brick walls of his neighbor's house.
Severus walked down the stairs slowly, trying not to make much noise; his father always hated being woken up so suddenly.
He finally reached the bottom of the stairs successfully without making any noise. The house still reeked of alcohol and Severus was somewhat nervous. The stench of alcohol and cigarettes grew stronger. Perhaps he could sneak out before his father finds him.
Severus had decided to sneak out and possibly walk over to Lily's house. Lily's parents were kind to Severus. He liked them. Only Lily's sister was the problem, but other than that, Mr. And Mrs.Evans were extremely kind to him.
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Severus stood upon Lily's front porch. It wasn't that Mr. and Mrs.Evans made sure he didn't feel welcome. He felt shameful that he would just show up unattended. Still, he had nowhere else to go to.
He knocked on the door and waited patiently. His chest was pounding. He felt himself showering in sweat. He had nothing to be nervous of. So why was he getting all anxious?
The door opened and it revealed a confused Lily. She stared at Severus, her eyes wide, and her mouth agape. "Severus, you're covered in bruises," Lily said in concern.
Severus shrugged, lifting his pathetic arms. He was skin and bones. His body was wrapped in bruises and scars, like a present. "It's nothing, really." He said in assurance.
"Nothing?" Lily glared at him as she grabbed onto his wrist. "Mummy!" She shouted, pulling Severus into the house.
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"Oh, dear-" Mrs.Evans let out a gasp. She immediately ran to the kitchen and grabbed what seemed to be a pack of ice. "Just place it on there, should help quite a bit and ease the pain." She assured, leading Severus to sit on one of the chairs.
Severus let out a soft wince as Mrs.Evans wrapped a bandaid around his arm. The cuts seemed fresh. Mrs.Evans had already taken out the pieces of shattered glass from his arm.
Mrs.Evans stared at Severus. "We must report your father to the cops." She suggested. "I can't stand seeing you like this anymore." She added.
Severus sat in silence. Could it be that he couldn't think of anything to reply? Could it be that he cares far too much for his father? He felt confused.
As Mrs.Evans finished aiding Severus, a loud bang was heard. They turned around to see a furious-looking girl. It was Petunia Evans, Lily's sister.
"What's that awful boy doing here again?!" Petunia spat. Lily stared at Petunia, and so did Mrs.Evans. "Didn't I tell you that you're grounded?" Mrs.Evans scolded, standing up and walking towards her problem child. She then grabbed Petunia's hand and dragged her upstairs while Petunia whined like a dying hippogriff.
Severus bit his lip as he turned to look at Lily. "Grounded?" He asked. Lily stared at him before she sighed heavily.
"It's just Tuney bothering me again" Lily replied, chuckling slightly. Right, Lily and Petunia never had the best relationship. Severus always dreamt of having a younger sibling once. He cringed at the thought as he stared at Lily once again. "Oh, I see..." Severus replied, his gaze shifting to the floor.
The two of them chatted for some time until it started getting dark. Mrs.Evans had suggested that Severus should stay for dinner. Severus declined the humble offer. He didn't want to burden the Evans anymore. He bid his farewell to the Evans and ran back home.
Severus stepped inside nervously. But seeing his father in front of him, waiting at the door, made him anxious. Perhaps his father is in a bad mood again? He believed he didn't do anything to anger his father besides sneaking out, right? Severus gulped. But as he predicted, his father grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the floor. He silently winced as he saw his mother watched him. She was so nonchalant and didn't show a hint of concern for him. He cursed under his breath as his father grabbed his notorious whip. No, no, no, no, no. Not again. Severus always hated it whenever his father used the whip. His father was harsh, especially with the whip.
"Did you really think I wouldn't know about your little rendezvous? " His father yelled as he started hitting him with the whip. "You must have felt so comfortable at that wretched family's house, huh?" His thin clothing was torn apart from the pressure of the whip. His back was scarred, wounded, and bleeding from the brutal beating. He was on his knees, abiding by the beating. He knew that if he ever fought back, his father would do much worse. Severus endured the beating as he cried silently. His mother, on the other hand, just watched. If Severus wasn't being badly beaten by now, he'd rush to his mother and ask about the bruise on her cheek. Though she'd probably ignore him.
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After a few hours of brutal abuse and mental torture, it was finally over. His father absconded and walked out of the house to 'clear' his mind as he was so 'stressed'. Severus snickered silently. Stressed? Stressed from what? Abusing and neglecting your child? He needed Lily's comfort right now. Lily was the only person who helped him. Lily was his happiness. But not to fret, soon enough, he'll be at Hogwarts. He'll finally be accepted as one. He finally won't be an outcast, right? Surely, they would accept him, right?
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Another day. Severus woke up, his body aching all over. He was bleeding out from the beating last night. But that was the least of his concerns. His father would now watch his every move. That would mean he wouldn't be able to meet up with Lily anymore. He took a quill and a piece of paper and started writing a letter to Lily. Hopefully, she'll send a reply. That is if the letter reaches her.
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A week had passed and Severus was itching to see Lily's comforting face again. He missed her smile. He missed her gleaming eyes. He missed everything about her. He wanted to see her. He needed her. He couldn't live without her. How will he handle more of this torment?
Severus gingerly peeked outside from his window. He gazed at the beautiful dawn. His eyes lingered on the clouds, it reminded him of the comfort that Lily gave him whenever she talked with him. He rested his chin on his palm as he continued to gaze at the beautiful morning sky. "Oh, Lily, I miss you," Severus said to himself, Lily must have not received his letter yet. Soon enough, she should reply, right?
Severus longed for Lily's presence. Just a few more months until he'll finally be able to attend Hogwarts and be with Lily. He just yearned to be with Lily. Lily was the only one who understood him. Lily was his happiness, his everything. That was until his daydreaming was interrupted by a loud slam from his door. He immediately went to the door and opened it. His mother stared at him with a disdainful look on her face. "Where is my wand?!" She asked, seemingly annoyed. "I don't know, mummy." Severus replied as he stared at Eileen. The atmosphere around them became desolate as his mother slammed the door and her footsteps faded. Severus sighed as he walked over to his desk and took a seat. He grabbed his quill and another paper. He started writing down some words. It seemed to be another letter for Lily. He folded the paper and slid it into his pocket and walked out of his room
He tried to make as little noise as he could as his father was sound asleep. His mother wouldn't care much to scold him about going out. He opened the door, his heart thumping as the door let out an audible creak. He stopped in his tracks to check if his father had heard it.
His father was still snoring loudly, and Severus found this to be a great opportunity to sneak out.
He hurriedly ran to the Evans' house and found out that they were out for church today. He seemed frustrated as he lay the letter in their mailbox.
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The next day, Severus heard from his mother that his father would be away for the whole day. He thought of this as the perfect opportunity to sneak out and meet up with Lily. Surely, Lily missed him too, right? Poor Lily, she must've been disappointed whenever she couldn't find Severus at their usual hang-out place.
Severus snuck out and ran to wherever he and Lily always hung out. He arrived there, his face lightened up as he saw Lily sitting down on the grass. He approached her, tapping her shoulder. This caught Lily by surprise, she flinched and turned her head to look at Severus. "You're back," Lily said as she gestured for Severus to sit next to her. Severus obliged and sat next to her.
Two children sat facing each other, cross-legged on the ground. Severus had removed his coat now; his odd smock looked less peculiar in the half light.
“… and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters.” Severus said softly, trying to not make it seem scary for Lily.
“But I have done magic outside school!” Lily exclaimed.
“We’re all right. We haven’t got wands yet. They let you off when you’re a kid and you can’t help it. But once we've headed off to Hogwarts,” he nodded importantly, “and they start training you, then you’ve got to go careful.”
There was a little silence. Lily had picked up a fallen twig and twirled it in the air. Then she dropped the twig, leaned in toward the boy, and said, “It is real, isn’t it? It’s not a joke? Petunia says you’re lying to me. Petunia says there isn’t a Hogwarts. It is real, isn’t it?”
“It’s real for us,” said Severus. “Not for her. But we’ve gotten the letter, you and me.” he assured.
“Really?” whispered Lily. “Definitely,” said Severus, and even with his poorly cut hair and his odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny.
“Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?” Severus hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair.
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t make any difference.”
“Good,” said Lily, relaxing: It was clear that she had been worrying.
“You’ve got loads of magic,” said Severud. “I saw that. All the time I was watching you …” His voice trailed away; she was not listening, but had stretched out on the leafy ground and was looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead. He watched her as greedily as he had watched her in the playground.
“How are things at your house?” Lily asked.
A little crease appeared between his eyes.
“Fine,” he said.
“They’re not arguing anymore?”
“Oh yes, they’re arguing,” said Severus. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing.
“But it won’t be that long and I’ll be gone.” he replied, his tone was bleak.
“Doesn’t your dad like magic?” Lily asked, confused.
“He doesn’t like anything, much,” said Severus.
“Severus?” A little smile twisted Severus’ mouth when she said his name. He always liked hearing her say his name.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me about the dementors again.”
“What d’you want to know about them for?”
“If I use magic outside school —”
“They wouldn’t give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You’re not going to end up in Azkaban, you’re too —”
He turned red again and shredded more leaves. Then a small rustling noise behind Harry made him turn: Petunia, hiding behind a tree, had lost her footing.
“Tuney!” said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Severus had jumped to his feet.
“Who’s spying now?” he shouted. “What d’you want?”
Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Severus could see right through her. She was obviously struggling for something hurtful to say.
“What is that you’re wearing, anyway?” she said, pointing at Severus' chest. “Your mum’s blouse?”
There was a crack: A branch over Petunia’s head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears.
“Tuney!” But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape.
“Did you make that happen?”
“No.” He looked both defiant and scared.
“You did!” She was backing away from him.
“You did! You hurt her!” she shouted.
“No — no I didn’t!” But the lie did not convince Lily: After one last burning look, she ran from the little thicket, off after her sister, and Snape looked miserable and confused.
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Severus sat in his room, contemplating whatever he'd done. Right, he was a freak. He caused it. He felt so disappointed in himself. He made Lily mad at him. Now, Lily hates him. This was what he feared the most. He hated this. He hated himself for being such a reckless freak. Now, how can he explain to Lily? He hurt Lily's sister. He lay on his bed with contempt for himself.
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After another week of locking himself up in his room, he still wasn't certain if Lily has forgiven him. Hell, how was he so sure that Lily would even forgive him? He was more than prepared to do anything for Lily. It's like he has this weird obsession with her. He's grown attached to her as she was the only one who understood him.
But he never questioned why. Why was he so desperate for Lily? Perhaps, it could be that he didn't want her to leave him. Maybe, just maybe, his parents will finally realize their wrongdoings and finally treat him right. He was so sick of their arguing. He was so sick of hearing fighting, shattering bottles and pained shrieks.
When will he have the comfort of an actual home? When will he have the chance to at least experience it? Surely, Hogwarts would allow him to experience it. He just wanted a family who cared for him.