Midnight Quidditch
James was having the worst day.
It started off with Lily getting his letter. She stared at him blankly once she finished reading it before passing it off to Mary. James knew what that meant. She still didn’t care. He wanted to cry.
James left quickly, ignoring his friends, as he tried to pull himself together. He and Sirius had a free period that day which they planned to spend together, but James needed to get away from everyone.
Sirius gave James space, sure, but eventually found him. Sirius tried to talk to him about it, but James pushed him off and plastered on a smile.
“I’m fine,” he had insisted. Eventually he got Sirius to drop it.
James messed around with Sirius as if on autopilot. He tried hard to clear his mind so he wouldn’t have to think about Lily again. Every time he did, he felt sick to his stomach.
At one point, James and Sirius came across Regulus who looked like he was in tears, which made James’ even more upset. Everything seemed muffled as Regulus and Sirius argued, but when he left, Regulus knocked his arm. James stared as he left, but Regulus didn’t turn.
Sirius never liked talking about Regulus, so James was gifted silence for the rest of their free period. Usually James would push and try to get Sirius to open up, but he was already tired of the fake high-spirits and the day had just begun.
The Marauder's had a low day, which was unusual, but not unheard of. They were all upset about something. Pete had failed his Charms paper, Sirius missed his brother, James wanted Lily to love him and Regulus to like him, and the moon was rapidly approaching.
James was tasked with making these days better, as usual. He could pull himself out of a grumpy mood the easiest. He laughed louder than usual at their jokes and he was grabbing comfort food to keep in their dorm. By the time everyone went to sleep, the day seemed better for his friends, which made James happy.
But he was exhausted. Too exhausted to sleep unfortunately.
After an hour of tossing and turning, James gave up and grabbed his invisibility cloak, running out of the castle. Quidditch usually calmed him after long days and only one other person was ever at the pitch this late.
After Sirius and Regulus stopped talking, James had been certain he would only ever see Regulus in passing. Until third year when he missed curfew to practice and saw Regulus there too. They never spoke, but they practiced together well. They were two of the best players in school, so of course they benefited from practicing with each other. It became a habit to fly together.
As expected, Regulus was there flying around the rings, weaving in and out, occasionally doing flips. It didn’t take James long to grab his broom and join the younger boy. Regulus did nothing to acknowledge James’ presence except fly across the pitch, catching the quaffle James threw his way.
The pair played in perfect silence for a long time. They threw the quaffle, flew laps, and did tricks. Regulus was much faster, which made sense as a seeker, but James wasn’t too bad. Playing with Regulus made him faster. By the time they landed, James was a different kind of tired. A better, more relaxed kind of tired.
Regulus was wiping the sweat from his forehead. James smiled at him.
“Hey,” James said. Regulus scrunched up his face, which made James’ smile grow.
“What are you doing?”
“Saying hello.” James laughed.
“We don’t talk.” His face was completely void of a smile and James didn’t like that.
“We’re talking right now.”
“You know what I mean,” Regulus said coldly. “I come here to fly, not to become your new best friend.”
“Well, maybe we can just be friends,” James said. His smile had not yet left his face. “Bestfriends would take a little more than just late night Quidditch practice.”
“We aren’t friends, Potter,” Regulus snapped. “I’m not sure where you got the idea that we were.”
“You’re helping me with my love letters,” James reminded him. “That’s a pretty friend-like thing.”
“I’m not doing that for free. You’re bribing me with vinyl.”
James was silent for a moment. “Did you like the album?” he asked.
Now Regulus did smile. It was small, barely there, but James wanted to jump for joy at that tiny display of emotion. “Yeah,” he said. “It was good.”
They walked back to the castle silently and side-by-side. James’ day ended a million times better than it started. They walk together until the paths to the Slytherin dormitory and Gryffindor dormitory split.
James turns to Regulus. “So…”
Regulus meets his gaze. “So?”
“Can we work on the letters tomorrow?”
Regulus is silent for a moment, pondering. “I guess,” he said. “I don’t think I have plans, so sure. Same spot?”
James smiled widely. “Perfect!” he said. “I’ve been thinking about what you said and this time I’ll be able to help you more. I’m sure of it.” Regulus almost smiled which made James want to dance. Regulus turned and started walking away. “Good night, Reg! See you tomorrow.”
“Don’t call me that.” He didn’t even turn.
James stood there watching Regulus leave with a smile. When he finally did go back to his dorm, he practically skipped there. He flopped onto his bed with the same smile plastered on his face.
Regulus fascinated James. He thought he might like to study Regulus if he could. He’d study the way his face scrunches up whenever he’s trying to make sense of everything. He’d study the words he wrote and how someone's brain could possibly think those things. He’d study his heart most if all.
Why had Regulus grown up to be so different? Why did Regulus seem to hate James? Why did Regulus almost smile at James earlier? James wanted to figure it out. He wanted to learn everything about him.
James had never felt that before, but he didn’t ponder the new thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.
James got to Regulus’ corner of the library first. He had been counting the minutes to see him and write with him. Of course, James was ready to give Lily the next letter, since the first had been a dud, but now he had a second goal in mind. Become friends with Regulus.
The first time they wrote the letters, Regulus had implied that James’ feelings were shallow and that maybe James himself was shallow. Now he was determined to prove Regulus otherwise. James was also desperate to get to know him. To understand him.
When Regulus got there, his face was a little shocked to see James sitting already, but didn’t say anything. It made James smile. He liked surprising Regulus.
“You know why you like her now?” Regulus didn’t look at James. He pulled out his papers and a quill.
“Yes.” James nodded. They sat in silence until Regulus did look up, kind of annoyed, and motioned for James to continue. “I like that she seems to know everything. She just looks like she understands people.” Regulus gave him a questioning glance. “I think it’s an amazing thing to be understood, don’t you?” Regulus didn’t answer. His face remained blank. “That’s what everyone really wants. To be seen and to be understood. She does that.”
Regulus stared at him for a moment longer until he cleared his throat and looked down at the paper. “Is there anything else?” His voice was tight and sounded forced. James wanted to ask about it, but stopped himself, remembering Regulus words from the previous night.
We’re not friends.
James supposed he was right, even if he didn’t like it.
“Uh, I think that’s all for this letter,” James said. Regulus nodded stiffly and started writing.
In James’ defense, he did try to stay quiet and let Regulus focus, but the silence was full of awkward, uncomfortable tension. So James did what James does to defuse situations. Talk.
“So you said you liked that album, right?” Regulus didn’t acknowledge him, but it didn’t deter James. “Well, I was wondering about what albums you would like. Bowie, obviously, but who doesn’t like Bowie? Sirius likes Queen, so maybe you would too. You know, brothers and such.” Regulus’ quill falters at the mention of SIrius, but he looked like he was trying his best not to react. “I like ABBA, but it doesn’t seem like your thing. Too pop-y and happy. And you said you’d give me a list of music, but you obviously don’t know any muggle music so-”
“Who told you that?” Regulus asked, sharply. “What, just because I’m a Slytherin means I have to hate muggles?”
James scrunched his face up. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Or is it because I was born a Black so I have to be evil. You don’t seem to have the same reservation about Sirius.” Regulus was getting increasingly more upset and James was sure how to react.
“I just mean that most wizards don’t,” James rushed, hoping Regulus could understand him. “It wasn’t a jab at you, I was just thinking, in general, most wizards don’t have a chance to listen to muggle music.”
Regulus pursed his lips. “That’s actually not true,” he said. James gave him a confused look and Regulus continued. “Most of the wizarding world is actually made up of muggle borns and half-bloods, so they have plenty of opportunities to listen to muggle music. I’m actually surprised it’s not a bigger thing.”
James didn't know how to respond to that, so he just awkwardly nodded his head. Regulus was right, he was sure, but it confused James why and how he knew that.
“And I have listened to muggle music before.”
This shocked James to his core.
Regulus looked at James’ flabbergasted look. “My friends and I go to muggle London sometimes when our parents are away. This summer we went to a pub. We all really liked the music, but we didn’t know who it was or anything.” Regulus spoke slowly as he finished the letter. James watched him closely, not wanting to miss a word or a movement. He handed James the letter.
“Remus has some music he thinks we’ll like,” Regulus said, not acknowledging the letter as he began to gather his things. James didn’t dare move, in fear he’d miss something. “Honestly, just ask him what vinyls to get. It will be easier than making a list.”
And he was gone. James watched him leave without saying a word. He didn’t even open the letter, he just walked back to the dorm.
The dorm room was as it always was when James got there. Sirius and Peter were talking and laughing loudly at something, probably stupid, and Remus was reading while halfheartedly continuing the conversation with them. James entered silently, not trying to join in the conversation, which was odd enough to pull everyone out of their own worlds.
“What’s up, Prongs?” Sirius asked and everyone stared expectantly for an answer. James was silent for about a minute before answering,
“Did you and Regulus ever go to muggle London growing up?” Sirius practically jumped in surprise.
“Of course we didn’t. Darling Mother and Father would probably have had our heads if we even had the thought and Regulus was too big of a goody-two-shoes to sneak out.” Sirius rolled his eyes. He sighed dramatically and attempted to change the topic. “I still haven’t gone, but this summer we should all take a trip.”
“Pads, I’m not sure Regulus is the goody-two-shoes prick you think he is,” Remus said, clicking his tongue.
Sirius scrunched his face. “What are you implying?”
“He told me that he would sneak out with his friends when your parents are out,” James said.
“You’re fucking with me,” Sirius said, laughing a little in disbelief.
“He’s not,” Remus confirmed. “That’s how they got the idea for the bloody record player.”
Sirius sat silently for over a minute, as if this went against everything he knew. Maybe it did.
“So you're telling me that Reggie has been to muggle London before I have.” James almost rolled his eyes. Of course that was his first thought. Peter and Remus both laughed and Sirius continued. “I don’t know if I even believe he would do anything with muggles, much less go to a whole city of them.”
Remus had a fond look on his face. “I don’t think you really know much about him anymore, Pads,” he said.
Sirius considered this silently. “Are you telling me that James now knows more about my baby brother than I do?”
“I really don’t think I know anything about him either, if I’m being honest,” James muttered, frowning.
Remus laughed. “Trust me, you do not.”
“But you do.” Sirius spoke so quietly, they wouldn’t have been able to hear if they weren’t all otherwise silent.
“Yeah,” Remus said, tentatively. “I do. He’s one of my best friends.”
“Could you…” Sirius looked like he was having an internal battle as he spoke. “Can you tell me more about him?”
Remus opened his mouth slowly, but didn’t say anything. He felt sorry for the brother, which is something Sirius usually hated, but didn’t even seem to notice now.
“I love you, Pads, I really do.” Remus spoke almost too softly. “But I promised not to get in the middle of you a long time ago. I mean, how would you feel if I told Regulus all your business?”
“Yeah.” Sirius seemed only half there as he spoke.
“But I could still help you,” Remus said.
Sirius was pulled from his thoughts and looked at Remus. “How?”
“I could help you get to know each other again. You can become friends- brothers. I’m sure it would be better if you spent some time together.”
Sirius looked wearily. “You really think so?”
Remus gave a small, secret smile that only Sirius ever got. “Would I ever lie to you?” Sirius’ face broke into a wide smile.
“No, you wouldn’t.” Sirius piled on top of Remus.
“I think you’re my favorite,” he muttered. Peter and James both protested loudly. “Hey, which of you got me my brother back? Exactly, shut up.” Sirius didn’t even look up from Remus' chest, which Remus seemed perfectly content with.
The rest of the evening was pretty painless, with stupid and loud discussions and Sirius snuggling with Remus. By the time night took over the dorm, Regulus’ letter sat on James’ bedside unopened and forgotten. James fell asleep thinking about Regulus in muggle London.