Foolproof Plan
James is staring at her again. He knows it, but he just can’t help himself. Lily must be the most beautiful girl in the whole world with her bright red hair and striking green eyes. How could he not be in love?
James is quite certain he’s been in love with her since the moment he first saw her on the train to Hogwarts. She was laughing with Snivellus and seemed to have a presence that James was unable to ignore. He tried to talk to her that day, but she didn’t pay him much attention. That only intrigued him more.
He bought her lilies, but she was unimpressed. He wrote her a poem, but she made sure he knew he was a hopeless poet. He sang her a song, but she poked fun at how offkey he was. Still, James was completely enamored with her.
James knew she was his soulmate.
“Prongs, if you keep fucking staring her down, you will only accomplish missing lunch,” Remus said, tearing him out of his thoughts.
“Again,” Peter added, unhelpfully, not looking up from his meal.
James rolled his eyes. He wasn’t missing lunch, he’d eaten almost half his plate. “Ha ha, so funny guys.”
“I’m not kidding, James. Stop staring, it’s creepy.” Remus never failed to remind James that Lily wasn’t in love with him and it was weird to be staring at a girl he barely knew.
Sirius, on the other hand, wouldn’t stand for the slander that his best friend was creepy. “Aw, lay off him, Moons. He’s in love.” Sirius wrapped his arms around James and placed his head on his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m in love, lay off.” James pouted, which only led to an eye roll from Remus.
Remus had a small smile as he began gathering his stuff to leave. “Alright, have fun pinning. I’ll see you at dinner.” Both James and Sirius started loudly protesting.
“No, don’t go, Moony,” Sirius whined. “We love you.”
“Yeah, we love you.” James and Sirius both reached across the table trying to grab at him, so he’ll stay.
“Sorry, Pete has babysitting duties today, I have plans.” Remus gives them a small smile and Peter looks up at the mention of his name.
“Yay, Wormtail!” James cried. “I love you, Wormy.” Peter laughed and reached his arm out to James. James smiled wide as he held Peter’s hand from across the table. Sirius, on the other hand, didn’t not join in James’s joy. He instead looked serious (haha) over at Remus.
“Where are you going?” Sirius asked. “Can’t we all go?” Remus just laughed.
“I don’t think you would want to go, Pads. Trust me.”
Sirius pouted. “We would have fun because you’re there.”
Remus pursed his lips. “Sirius, I’m going to the library to study with your brother and his friends. I don’t believe you would enjoy that, but if you really wanna come, I can ask them.” Sirius’s face fell completely.
“No, it’s fine. Have fun.”
“Okay.” And he left.
As soon as Remus was out of sight, Sirius immediately started to complain. “Okay, I get that he can have other friends, but do those friends really need to include Reggie and his band of heathens?”
“Heathens,” Peter repeated, quietly. Both Peter and James laughed, which earned a glare from Sirius. He didn’t stop, though.
“I mean, he knows. Remus knows Reggie is horrible. I’ve told him about Grimmauld Place and how Reggie just agrees with them. He knows that Reggie refused to leave with me. He knows this and he’s still friends with him?”
James settled back in his seat, getting comfortable. “This is going to take a while.” And James' gaze falls back to the beautiful Lily Evans while he waits for Sirius to tire himself out.
It takes a considerable amount of time for Sirius to finish his rant. Well after lunch had ended, they stayed planted in their seats. James is certain that Lily had almost looked at him when she left, so the afternoon was not a total loss.
By the time they got back to the common room, they had to leave for Quidditch practice. It was definitely his fault for scheduling practice every Sunday and he was glad to have an excuse to not study, but it did mean when they finally got back from dinner, Remus was the only one not buried in homework.
“What did you even do this afternoon?” Remus laughed at their suffering. He had been doing that with every complaint or groan from the other boys. “How did you not get a single thing done?”
“We had Quidditch!” Sirius tried to defend, pouting, but Remus just laughed again. He laid on his bed reading while the other Marauder's died inside.
James decided to test his luck and ask for help when he yet again messed up his potions essay. “Can you help me, Moony? Moonbeam? Moonpie? Moon-”
“You have to at least do one of your assignments, James.”
“I will!” he shouted. “It’s just my potions essay. I’m hopeless at potions, you know that.”
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Remus shrugged.
James groaned dramatically. “Can’t I at least look at yours? To get some ideas?” James was ready to beg if it meant he didn’t have to write his essay by himself.
“Sorry, Prongs. I don’t have any of my essays right now,” Remus said.
James sat up and looked at him confused. He saw that both Sirius and Peter’s faces reflected his own.
“What do you mean you don’t have them?” Peter asked.
Remus paused his reading and sat up once he realized everyone was staring at him. “Um, I mean that Regulus is editing them.”
Sirius looked applauded. “What? He can’t do that.” Remus raised an eyebrow. “He’s a year younger. He isn’t even in our potions class.”
“I’ve found that it doesn't matter with him. Regulus is a great writer, whether he knows the information or not,” Remus said. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in disgust. “And he’s a potion prodigy. He’s Slughorn’s favorite student, you know.” He said it so nonchalantly, but James cringed the second the words left Remus’ mouth.
“I actually didn’t know,” Sirius grumbled. It must have just then dawned on Remus what he said as he began trying to back track immediately, looking horrified.
After a solid minute of Remus’ rambling apologies, Sirius got up. “It’s fine, Moony. I’m just gonna go get ready for bed.” He quickly went into the bathroom and they heard the shower start.
Remus groaned and laid back down. “I am a fucking awful friend.” James and Peter exchanged a silent look before returning to their work. The rest of the night was quiet and awkward.
Luckily, in the morning everything was back to normal. Remus was a little cautious, but Sirius seemed to have moved on completely. James was glad because it meant he didn’t have to spend breakfast monitoring his friends. He could spend it how he usually spends meals. Staring at Lily.
“She's just so beautiful,” James said.
“We know, James,” Peter said, patting his arm.
“I’m so in love.”
“We know, Prongs.” James saw Sirius roll his eyes, but he knew it was fond. Sirius had always been the most supportive of his unrequited love.
“When was the last time you talked to her?” And Remus was probably the least supportive.
James pouted. “I gave her a quill when she broke hers in Transfigurations last week. She said thank you.”
Peter laughed. “That’s all?”
“It was a very nice thank you!”
“I’m sure it was,” Remus said. “Lily is a very nice girl. However, I don’t think staring at the side of her head while she eats is the best way to win her over.”
James’ smile grew at an alarming speed. “So I should-”
Remus cut him off quickly. “I also don’t think your dramatic confessions of love are getting you anywhere.”
James practically deflated. “So what should I do? You’re her friend, what does she look for in a guy?”
Remus sighed, not totally wanting to be a part of this, but also knowing James would not let up if he didn’t say anything. “Lily likes…” He started slowly, thinking about his friend’s dream relationship. “Hopeless romantic things.”
James lit up. “That’s perfect, so do I.”
“But she doesn’t like grand gestures,” he made sure to add hastily. “She doesn’t think love should be for show, she likes when it’s simple and intimate.”
James nodded, taking mental notes. “Okay, simple, intimate.”
“She likes books and art. She likes poetry and picnics. And she likes reading classic romances and could talk about them for hours, but won’t unless you can add to the conversation.” James urged him to continue eagerly and his excitement was always hard to say no to. “And, Merlin, Lily’s going to kill me, she likes the idea of love letters. She thinks they’re sweet and romantic.”
James’ smile immediately made Remus regret everything he just said. “I know what you’re thinking, Prongs, but please don't send her a million bad love letters.”
James looked offended by the accusation. “One, they won’t be bad. Two, you just said she loves them. And if I give them to her, she’ll love me! It’s a foolproof plan.”
Sirius sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’t think it is, Prongsie.”
Now James was actually offended. SIrius always supported his ideas, even his bad ones. “What do you mean? I think it’s perfect.”
“I know you do, but, well, the issue is…” Sirius looked guilty. “Wormy, Moons, you tell him. I can’t break his heart.”
Well now he needs to know. “What is it?” James asked, anxiously.
They all exchanged a glance before Remus finally took pity on him. “Prongs, you can’t write.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
Peter looked anxious as he stumbled over his words. “Well, you can write, but you shouldn’t. Like, you aren’t good at it.” Peter winced as he spoke. “You’re good at so many other things, though.”
“Padfoot? Did you know about this?”
Sirius looked at him sympathetically. “Yeah… I’ve had to edit your essays before.” James looked at him hopelessly. “But Pete’s right. You’re good at so many other things.”
“But none of them will get Lily to like me, right?”
“Prongs…” Sirius started, but James cut him off.
“Guys, it’s fine. I’m gonna head to Divinations now. It’s a lot of stairs, you know?” The looks his friend gave him were full of pity, so he plastered on a smile as big as he could and said, “Really, I’m good. Just a little shocked.” And with that, he turned and sped out of the Great Hall.
James knew it was a stupid thing to be upset about. He just felt like he had finally found it, the thing that would ensure the love of his life would love him back, but it was so quickly taken away from him. He knew in hindsight that his friends did the right thing by telling him not to write the letters, but it still hurt. It hurt whenever he wasn’t good at something. And now not being good at something could mean being single forever. Even as he thought it, James knew he was being dramatic, but he couldn't help it.
Although it was way too early to go to class, James had nothing else to do, so he did start walking towards Divinations. It was the only class he had without any of the Marauders. Sirius took it later in the day, and Remus and Peter quit after fifth year. Peter wanted a lighter class load and Remus thought it was the dumbest class ever.
When James got to the class it was obviously empty, so he tried to busy himself by setting up his desk. Naturally, that took less than a minute. He began pacing the room, just trying to get some of his energy out, but it wasn’t working. James was getting so restless that he actually considered doing his homework when he heard someone coming towards the room.
“Come on, Reg, I just need to ask Professor Phobie what it means.” It was Pandora Rosier, a girl James knew for her claims of being a seer. She had mentioned before to James that she’d had a dream about him and warned him against light purple lilacs. It was weird but Pandora was never wrong, so he sent a letter to his mom asking her to remove them from their garden.
She was also Regulus Black’s best friend. They were always together in the hallways, usually Barty, Evan, or Docras were with them, too, but the pair of them were always together.
“I’ve had the same dog in five visions, it must mean something.” Pandora continued.
“Of course it means something, but you have a million books. What’s so special about this dog that those books aren’t good enough?” This voice James recognized as Regulus’. He smiled as he saw them enter the room. If either of them noticed he was there, they didn’t say anything.
“Well, I’ve looked, but none of the explanations feel right,” Pandora said, Regulus rolled his eyes fondly with a small smile on his face.
It was always interesting to watch Regulus with Pandora. He seemed happier with all his friends, but around Pandora he seemed lighter. His posture was more relaxed and there was always a smile of some sort when she spoke. Pandora would sometimes link their pinkies when they walked through the halls. The few times James had seen them apart, Regulus looked completely overwhelmed and stressed, but not when he was with Pandora. He just seemed comfortable with her and no one else.
“She’s not even here yet, Panda,” Regulus said. “Can’t we just go?”
Pandora huffed and crossed her arms. “Fine, but first I’m going to ask James.” James was startled at the mention of his name. Apparently they did know he was in here. “Hi, James. Can I ask you a question?”
“Um, sure?” It came out more like a question than James had intended, but Pandora smiled nonetheless.
“Okay, I’ve been having this dream about a big black dog and the dream is always different, but the dog is always the same. So… what do you think the dog means?” Pandora looked at him expectantly.
“Uh, well, a dog means loyal friend, doesn’t it? And colors all have meaning, so maybe there is something there?”
Pandora hummed in acknowledgment, but didn't seem that invested in what he was saying. She just stared at him.
“Wow, really? Colors have meaning? What a novel approach to divinations. That’s truly groundbreaking, Potter,” Regulus said, sarcastically, his tone dry. He had lost the smile that usually came with Pandora’s presence as he spoke to James. “We’ve been trying to figure this out for weeks, do you seriously think we haven’t done the most basic research?”
“Be nice, Reg,” Pandora said, but she didn’t seem fully there as her gaze remained locked curiously on James. “He’s trying to help.”
James laughed lightly. “I think the key word here is trying. You’re literally a seer, right? So I’m not sure what I could say that you don’t already know.”
Pandora laughed, but James wasn’t exactly sure what about. Regulus’ small smile was back though. It was very clear to James he was missing something.
Pandora looked at him with a very wide smile, laughter still bubbling up. “It’s not about thought, James. It’s about feeling. If you are certain of something, you are probably wrong.”
James was completely lost now. Pandora had a very abstract mind, he knew this, but was still trying to figure out the literal meaning behind her words. If you know something, you’re wrong? It was an odd concept for James, who had been certain of everything in his life since first year.
James looked to Regulus for solidarity in his confusion, but Regulus raised an eyebrow, seemingly challenging James’ internal conflict. Question her, I dare you, his look said and James was not about to take that challenge.
Regulsu tore his gaze away and looked at Pandora. “We should head to class. We can see Professor Phobie after.”
“But after this class we have to go to the library so you can give Remus his essays.” Pandora pouted as Regulus tried to convince her to leave.
“James can give them to him.” Regulus turned to him. “Right, James?”
“Uh, what?” It took a second for his brain to catch up. “Can I give Remus his essays back? Uh, yes, of course.”
Pandora smiled brightly. “Yay! Okay, we can go now.” And with that Regulus reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a stack of papers with Remus’ messy handwriting and notes in the margin with Regulus’ neat cursive.
He handed James the paper. James’ eyes were trained on the paper as he read some of the beautiful writing. And maybe it was the purposeful loops on his lettering or the way James’ smartest friend trusted him to edit his essay or maybe it was something else entirely, but whatever it was gave James a marvelous idea. This was the best idea he ever had, he knows it.
Regulus and Pandora were already almost through the door when James looked up from the papers. “Regulus!” James called, stopping the pair in their tracks. He walked over to them as they turned to meet his eyes. “I have a proposition for you.” James smiled, proud of himself for his genius idea.
Regulus, on the other hand, looked skeptical. “What do you want, Potter?” Regulus’ frown did nothing to dampen James’ mood.
“Well, it was brought to my attention this morning that I can’t write.” James started his story.
“I know. I helped Slughorn with his grading last year, so I read plenty of your work. It was practically unreadable,” Regulus said.
“I didn’t know you did that.” James furrowed his eyebrows.
“Why would you?” James didn’t really have an answer for that.
James shook his head and continued. “Anyways, you might also be aware that I am hopelessly in love with LIly Evans.” Regulus rolled his eyes at the mention of James’ soulmate. “She doesn’t feel the same way yet.”
“Yet? Is she going to suddenly change her mind after all these years?”
“Yes! And that’s where you come in.” Regulus' frown deepened. “Because Lily likes love letters, so I need to give some to her. But I can’t write them because, as we’ve already covered, I can’t write anything.” Despite this upsetting James less than an hour ago, he said it bright and confident now because it didn’t matter if he could write. Someone else could.
“My proposition is that you write the love letter and I can, I don’t know, pay you or something?” James put on his most hopeful look and biggest puppy dog eyes, hoping desperately to win over Regulus.
James wasn’t sure what the expression on Regulus’ face meant. It was mostly shock, but probably a little horrified too. They stood in silence for a few seconds before Regulus shook his head in disbelief.
“You want me to trick Lily into liking you?” He was definitely horrified.
“No, not a trick. It’ll be my thoughts and stuff, you just make it sound pretty, you know? But it’s still me, just better,” James said.
Regulus blinked a few times, silent. “I don’t need your money.”
“Something else then! Please, Reggie, I need help.”
“Don’t call me that,” he hissed. More silence. Regulus had a lot of dramatic silences. Then Pandora leaned over and whispered something into Regulus’ ear.
His face scrunched up and he looked a little offended. But whatever it was, James was so thankful for Pandora because the next thing Regulus said was, “I’ll think about it.”
Then, he swiftly left the room, Pandora trailing awkwardly behind him.
By the time he couldn’t hear their footsteps James could no longer contain his excitement. “Yes!” And he started dancing around the Divinations classroom. He looked stupid, but why would that matter?
Lily Evans was going to fall in love with him.
Well, if he got Regulus to agree then she would.
And James was pretty excited about his odds.