Sold My Soul For Vinyls

Regulus is sure what he did to piss off the universe, but it must have been bad.

It wasn’t enough that his brother had left him in their terrible house, he was now the heir, or that he would have to get married to a woman the second he graduated. Now Regulus’ longtime crush was trying to recruit him to make someone else fall in love with him. And Regulus actually promised to think about it?

Of course, after their talk, it was all he could think about. Every interaction with James regrettably took over Regulus’ mind and this one was no different. In fact, it was worse because Pandora tells their friends everything. And their friends are probably the biggest gossip group of the wizarding world.

So, after classes, they sat by the Black Lake, passing around a joint, gossiping like always. Although this time Regulus was forced to the center of the conversation. He was laying on the grass with Pandora while Dorcas, Evan, and Barty all debated his love life sitting in a semicircle. Sometimes, Even would get up and skip a rock in the lake, but no one ever even paused the conversion.

“All I’m saying is you’ve been in love with him forever,” Evan said (the twins were both hopeless romantics). “Maybe this is your chance to get close to him and get him to fall for you.”

“And all I’m saying is that since you’ve been in love with him forever, you shouldn’t help someone else fall for him,” Dorcas said, picking at the grass as she spoke.

“He could sabotage the letters,” Barty exclaimed. “Then Evans will hate him and you’ll have him all to yourself.”

Regulus let out a snort. “Yeah, that’s subtle. He definitely wouldn’t notice.”

“Also, Lily already hates him,” Pandora added. “It’s a waste of perfectly good sabotage.” She passed the joint to Regulus. He took a long drag before passing it back around their circle.

“What would you even write in these letters?” Dorcas laughed, throwing some grass at him. “Do you even know how to be in love with a girl?”

He glared at her. “I’ve heard enough of your whining about Mckinnon to get the gist of it.” Dorcas scoffed, but didn't argue.

“Plus it’s good practice for your marriage,” Barty said, laughing as Regulus groans. “Who is it your parents want you to marry?”

“Augustine Greengrass.” Evan faked a swoon.

“Don’t remind me. She is so incredibly dull.”

“But she’s hot,” Dorcas said, but Regulus made a face.

“Cas is right, Augustine is quite beautiful.”

“Well, you’re both gay, so shut up.”

“Regulus, you are literally the gayest man I have ever met, what is wrong with you?” Dorcas complained.

Barty gasped. “Have I been forgotten?”

Evan scoffed. “You had to screw a lot of girls before you figured that out, Reg has known since he saw Potter’s unruly hair and shitty glasses.”

Regulus rolled over in the grass so he could hit Evan, but Evan only laughed. “You didn’t deny it,” he sang.

“Die,” Regulus said as he stole the joint away from Dorcas. And as the conversation continued, their topics began to stray away from Potter and Regulus’ hopelessness, which he was grateful for.

Regulus’ mind could not jump to another topic like his friends, though, so he just laid and thought of James’ desperate eyes as he begged for help. In his brain, he was certain it would be a bad idea. But he couldn’t find it in his heart to say no to James. He had never been able to.

Back when Sirius still made attempts at friendship with Regulus, he hung out with James more. His first year’s school boy crush had gone unnoticed, but Regulus knew. He knew when James asked him for something, anything, his immediate response was going to be yes.

Regulus also knew that was dumb. So he thought about it logically. He weighed the pros and cons. There were about a million cons and only one pro. James.

Unfortunately, that one pro was more than enough to make Regulus seriously consider his proposition.

“If I did it, what would I get from it?” Regulus finally said, sitting up. His friends stopped their conversion to look over at him.

“You’re still on the Potter thing?” Barty asked. Regulus glared but didn’t deny, so it counted as a confirmation.

“Well, the man was pretty desperate,” Pandora said. “You could really ask for anything.”

“But I don’t need anything. Not from him at least.”

“You could ask him for a date.” Barty was ignored. Obviously.

“He could get you books,” Dorcas suggested.

“My parents will buy most of my books and Remus will lend me any muggle ones that I need.”

“You could ask him for weed,” Evan said as he finished another joint.

“We have plenty of people we already get weed from, I don’t need another dealer,” Regulus said.

“But if it was Potter it would be free,” Dorcas pointed out.

“It doesn’t really matter if it’s free. I’m rich. Literally all of us are rich and I’m the Black heir. I basically have unlimited money.”

“Okay, well, are there any muggle things Remus can’t get you?” Pandora asked. “James would probably have a connection.”

“Ooh, yeah. Some expensive muggle shit,” Barty said. “You could get a car or a telephone booth. Or a rocket! Muggles can go to space, did you know that?”

Dorcas laughed. “You enjoying your Muggle Studies class, Barty?”

“I don’t need to go to space,” Regulus said. “I am pleased to just look. I don’t need to ruin it by invading.”

“Plus, the universe could get mad that you went without an invitation,” Pandora said. Barty and Dorcas hummed in agreement, always understanding Pandora’s rambling more when they’re high.

“What about music?” Dorcas suggested. “You could get one of those muggle music machines. You know, the ones we saw last summer.”

They had all gone on a secret trip to Muggle London last summer when their parents had a gala they couldn’t attend. Regulus hated galas, but loved when it was only his parents who went. It meant he could have freedom for at least a few hours.

“A record player?” Regulus said.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” Pandora said, sitting up. Regulus followed suit. “Remus can’t afford one, but apparently they have one in the Gryffindor dorm. We know they work at Hogwarts and that James could get his hands on one.”

“We could ask Remus about the best albums and you could make Potter get one for each letter,” Dorcas added. Regulus toyed with the idea in his mind.

Sure, he’d be helping James get the girl, but it’s not like Regulus expected James to fall just because Lily rejected him. At least now he could get something for his suffering. And he wouldn’t have to listen to the awful music that the rest of the Wizarding World was currently obsessed with.

“Okay, I guess I’m doing this,” Regulus grumbled. Dorcas and Barty cheered and Evan laughed loudly. Pandora smiled at him and laid down again. When Regulus joined her, the conversation fell into regular gossip from his friends.

Regulus spent the next few hours alone. He said he had wanted to do some reading, but in reality, he just wanted a moment to clear his head. James was consuming practically every thought he had and Regulus wanted to vomit.

It wasn’t an usual thing for him. Regulus was often nauseous, which Pandora claimed was from anxiety. She was probably right, she usually was. And now Regulus was extra anxious.

It wasn’t the type of anxiety that would make him freak and have a panic attack. No, instead it just felt like constant dread pooled in his stomach.

So Regulus sat at the back corner of the library near the restricted section. His friends often sat with him in the cozy corner and it was one of Regulus’ favorite places. Probably because no one ever came there.

Every other place Regulus found solace in, people were almost always there. The Black Lake usually had other groups talking, the Quidditch Pitch was always filled with one team or another, and the Astronomy Tower was great unless there was a couple shagging. Which Regulus had the misfortune of walking in on multiple times. But sitting in the back of the library, Regulus had peace.

Well, about as much peace as he could get anywhere else with the constant James thoughts running wild in his head. Regulus toyed with his fingers as he allowed the thoughts to consume him.

Why had he agreed to James’ crazy plan?

Well, of course, he hadn’t actually agreed yet. He hadn’t talked to James, so he could still refuse. He could leave James to figure it out on his own.

But he wouldn’t.

Regulus would never and he knew deep down that the answer had always been yes. He hated James, but oh Merlin, he would do anything that stupid boy asked of him. Even if it made Regulus feel like he was dying.

Whatever hold James had on Regulus, it wasn’t going away anytime soon. He wasn’t sure it would ever go away.

Similar to the way James had fallen in love with Lily, Regulus had fallen for James. The moment he laid eyes on the older boy, Regulus was so far gone. It was something he and everyone who really knew him understood. It was a fact.

The sun rises every morning, sets every night, it was cold in the winter and warmer in the summer, James loved Lily, and Regulus loved James. All of these were so undeniably true and Regulus had a deep understanding of that.

There was a time Regulus had wanted to and had even tried to change that, but it was inevitable. Regulus would always love James. He would love James when he hated James. He would love James when he got married. He would love James until the day he died and he doubted that would stop it even.

Regulus was mesmerized by everything about James. He would watch him talk with his friends and he saw how everyone lit up around him. James was a light to everyone in his life and James would never know how important he was to everyone. Without him, everything seemed dark. But when James was around, everyone smiled. Everyone was filled with such joy. Regulus watched as James changed lives with that shine.

And oh how Regulus wanted to bask in that light. He wanted to be around the shine that was James Potter.

But watching James for years had shown him one other important thing that could not be ignored. James loved Lily Evans.

For whatever reason, James wanted only her. He wanted her and he always had. Regulus knew he always would.

And oh how that killed him.

Regulus swallowed those thoughts. Nothing good had ever come from pining for James. So he pulled open his book and began reading to try to drown out his thoughts.

This is going to be torture, Regulus thought. But James will be happy.

Regulus wanted to drown himself for that being the only thing that mattered to him.

Regulus waited to approach James until after Gryffindor Quidditch practice. Gryffindor’s had practice almost everyday, always late at night during the school days. More when they had games coming up. Regulus had all the teams’ schedule memorized and James had scheduled the most by far.

James walked off the pitch with Sirius and Peter by his side. Sirius was the beater with Marlene, but Peter just liked to watch. The trio was laughing obnoxiously loud and Regulus would have been embarrassed to be a part of it. He was almost embarrassed to approach them. Nonetheless, Regulus had already committed and would not deal with Barty and Evan mocking him relentlessly if he couldn’t even do this.

So Regulus approached them, not sparing his brother a look, and stared James down. James smiled anxiously in anticipation when Regulus approached. “Regulus,” he said breathlessly. Regulus saw a very confused Sirius out of the corner of his eyes. He looked like he desperately wanted to ask or intervene, but Sirius hadn’t spoken a word to Regulus since he left their house.

“I’ve decided to help you. In return, I want a record player and I am compiling a list of vinyls to go with it. This may be difficult for you to accomplish, but that is my only offer.” Regulus paused and James smiled wider than he thought possible, nodding aggressively. “Also, when she becomes skeptical of the writing, that is your problem to deal with. In fact, it all is. I am not here to do damage control, I’m just here to write. I will be in the library between 3 and 5 tomorrow, come somewhere in that time slot and I will write the first letter.” With those words, he turned and left, not wanting to talk to any of the ‘Marauders’ tonight.

“Thank you, Regulus,” James called after him. “You won’t regret this.”

He seriously doubted that.