The Common Room
The music in the common room was blaring so loudly, Remus was sure he was going to loose his hearing once and for all this time. It was one of Sirius’ muggle records on the the record player, which somehow (Remus was almost certain it was James’ fault) managed to produce a volume so loud it could have woken up the whole caste had Lily not insisted on using a muffling charm, much to Sirius’ dismay (“Let them wake up for all I care.“, he had said. “I will not be silenced just so that Snape and his friends can get their beauty sleep“)
Remus tries to manoeuvre himself through the crowd without spilling any of this drink, while trying to find any one of his friend, preferably Lily, who he knows is still slightly disapproving of the party and would totally share his annoyance about it.
Instead of her, he finds James and Sirius first, sprawled across one of the sofas in the common room, both visibly drunk and laughing their asses off over what Remus can only guess must have been one of James’ god awful jokes he tends to tell when he’s had too much firewhiskey. One of those that no one finds even remotely funny. Besides Sirius of course, the only person who could tell even worse jokes that James’.
A part of Remus is seriously debating turning around again and just leaving the common room for their dorm room, where he knows he will finally get some peace and quiet. But he knows he would feel too bad. It is the first party of the semester and his friends, mostly James and Sirius and of course Mary, had been so excited for it and spent hours earlier that day to decorate the common room, sneak up a bunch of snacks from the kitchen (that had been mostly Peters task), as well as choose the perfect music. Sirius even took it one step further and somehow managed to enchant all the cups they had sneaked up to the common room so they automatically refill with firewhiskey as soon as they’re emptied, much to Lily’s disapproval who had tired to talk him out of it with the argument that “Not everyone wants to get drunk out of their mind during the first week of the semester.“ Of course Sirius did it anyways. So just leaving was not an option.
And even if he wanted to leave it was definitely too late now. Sirius had already spotted him walking towards them and enthusiastically jumped up from the sofa, almost pushing James off of it as well.
“Moony! You have to listen to this awesome joke James just told me. It has to be his funniest one yet!“
And just like that Remus did regret that he didn’t just leave. He could already see himself being pestered the rest of the evening with endless stupid jokes in an attempt of James and Sirius to make him laugh. They never succeeded.
“I’d rather not“, sighted Remus, while letting himself fall down on the sofa where moments before Sirius had been sitting, who was now half sitting on the sofa’s armrest half sitting in Remus’ lap, because he was leaning over to James, trying to whisper something in his eat, which was not working at all since as soon as he would try to start whispering they would both break out into giggles like a bunch of teenage girls whispering about their crushes.
“Oi, mind stepping out of my personal space, Black?“
“Oh come on Moony. Its not like we’ve never hugged before“, Sirius half yelled, throwing his arm around Remus to prove his point.
Remus had really never been one for physical affection. He liked his personal space. Ever since he was a child he had always refused hugs, his mother being the only exception, probably simply because it’s what she had always done, ever since Remus can remember. But apart from that, he was very conscious about keeping people away from touching him.
Over the past years he had somehow grown accustom to the casual touches that his friends initiated, especially when drunk, with James and Sirius and especially Mary all being passionate huggers, Mary even throwing in the occasional kiss on the cheek whenever she especially felt like annoying Remus. But they all knew that he preferred for them to keep their distance, physically. And emotionally.
“Pads, I’m serious.“
James burst into giggles again, which earned him one of Remus’ death stares that he thought was intimidating, but all his friends found more adorable than anything else.
“Oh come on Remus, we all know you secretly love when we shower you with affection.“
Sirius was leaning over and trying to hug him tighter while pressing a kiss on his cheek. Remus desperately tried to push him away, but Sirius position (now more or less 1/4 on the arm rest, 3/4 in Remus’ lap) earned him a significant advantage.
James on his other side seemed to find the situation hilarious as he was trying to push Remus towards Sirius while laughing so hard he was gasping for air.
Just as Remus feared he would actually suffocate, buried under drunken Sirius’ weight, who was still trying to smother him with kisses, his saviour appeared.
“You know, you two should really learn how to respect other people’s boundaries sometimes. Plus you reek of fire whiskey.“
“My hero!“ Remus managed to weasel himself out from between, or more so underneath, James and Sirius who were both distracted by Lily, James just casually staring at her, as he usually did when he wasn’t busy trying to convincer her why giving him one chance would be the best decision of her entire life, while Sirius rolled his eyes and just stated “Damn you Evans. You really know how to ruin our fun sometimes.“
“Try doing something that is actually fun for everyone involved next time then.“ Lily stated casually, while Remus was trying to somehow get as far away from Sirius as possible without outright hiding behind Lily. He wasn’t fully convinced the attack was over yet.
“It was fun for everyone. I know deep down Moony loves my physical affection.“
Remus just snorted in his usually sarcastic way.
“Just because you can’t ever keep your hands to yourself doesn’t mean everyone loves to be groped all the time.“
“Maybe if you just got yourself a girl to take back to the dorm from time to time physical touch wouldn’t scare you so much Moony.“
It was a casual comment by a drunk teenager, and Remus knew it was just a small heap at him, not meant to actually hurt him. But he has to admit it was a sore topic. He knew that his dorm mates regularly took girls to their dorm room at these parties, he himself has awkwardly walked in on them one too many times. Even James had brought back his fare share of girls, despite him saying that Lily is the love of his life and that there is no one else in the world that he would ever seriously want to be with. And he is painfully aware that they have noticed his lack of interaction with any girls so far. And it’s not like girls never came on to him, because they did. Fairly regularly. Even his friends Mary and Lily have at one point in their friendships suggested to ‘go somewhere a little more quiet’. Of course Remus always declined. The idea of going off with a girl had always felt foreign at best (more like completely wrong) to him. In the beginning he had always just thought that he just was not interested in sex, had convinced himself that he was just a late bloomer and the hormone rush that apparently all his male friends had, which made them go absolutely girl crazy, or maybe just sex crazy. Lately however he’s been slowly having the suspicion that maybe it wasn’t that he was a late bloomer, considering these weird feelings he’s been getting around one particular marauder, that felt suspiciously similar to what one might want to describe as butterflies, but what Remus tells himself is just coincidentally timed nausea. He wasn’t going to admit to anyone, not even himself that at night when he was alone in his bed, a certain someone would occupy his mind longer and in much more inappropriate scenarios than he should.
But before Remus could come up, with an appropriate answer drunken Sirius decided that it was now time to dance, dragged up James, who looked like he might be close to throwing up which he totally did about 10 minutes later into a vase that, as it later turned out, belonged to a fourth year, or more so their late grandmother. James did feel bad about it when he came to his senses the next morning but Sirius convinced him that he was in no way at fault because “who in their right mind brings a vase from home and then just leaves it in the common room when a party is going on.“
So Remus decided it was now time for him to just go to bed. And so he did, completely ignoring Lily who was calling after him. Right now all he wanted was to be alone.